Ever After

Ever After - By Heather McBride

Chapter 1

How it All Began



In every person to some degree, there is a pull to please or to be accepted by the ones we love or by the ones we hope love us. The drive, depending on the relationship, may be very strong or very weak; each person is different of course.

I had been living my life to this exact day, this exact second, to please my father; it was all I thought about. The thoughts that filled my head always were what my actions would mean to my father. He and my grandmother were my world growing up. What they thought of me, was everything.

My mother died two months after I was born. I was named after her (Corrine). My dad says I look just like her, and that makes me happy. I have long blond waist-length wavy hair with reddish highlights in it. I have a picture of my mom on my nightstand. She was five feet tall, just like I am now. We could have been twins people always tell me.

I think because she was gone, I had gotten the twisted idea that it was my job in life to make my father happy. I felt continual pressure to excel at everything I did. I always hoped it would be what he wanted. This as you might imagine was exhausting, but to see him smile was worth it to me.

I gained a stepmother five years after my mother’s death or got one dumped on me if you want me to be real about the whole mess. Her name is Sara. I do not think of her as a mother. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t think that either. The woman is cold and as maternal as a dog turd. I know that’s not a very poetic description, but it is what it is.

My job, she told me many times, is to keep our family name clean and marry into a family as wealthy as ours or even more so. I guess I shouldn’t have expected my dad to grieve for my mother his whole life. I just I hoped he would pick a more motherly woman. I guess I thought my father had better taste in women, but sadly, I was wrong.

My father’s name is John Andrew Whitmore he is listed as number four on the top ten most successful businessmen in the United States. So for him to have married a gold-digging hag, well, I guess I should have seen that one coming. My dad’s success in his work automatically pushes us all into a social circle based on wealth, power, and achievements. I had grown up in this world. It was what I knew it was all I knew. I could have never guessed it might just be the reason I nearly died just a few short months ago.

I was head cheerleader all four years of high school. I headed up charity groups for the underprivileged in our city, and I played volleyball and soccer. All four years we made state finals in both sports. I was on track in my perfect life if you want to call it that. I was on the perfect track, my parents expected me to be on. I had no idea what I ever wanted to do; it was always all about what they wanted and what our social group expected me to be doing. It was like autopilot for over teenage over achievers.

High school graduation came just last year. I was at the top of my class. That of course would have been the only thing acceptable to my dad and Sara. I studied my butt off to make valedictorian, so much, so I began to get migraine headaches from sitting at my computer for so many hours. Dad beamed with joy at my gradation, so it made me happy despite the horrible headaches.

I was accepted into Harvard University with no trouble. I as usual was expected to join the top sorority at the start of my freshman year. I did just that. I joined Delta Kappa, one of the oldest and most popular houses on campus. I socialized with the other children of the “best” families in our social circle at school. Life was easy, even boring sometimes.

I was naturally expected to date one of the most promising guys in our social circle too, according to Sara. I did that (against my better judgment) his name was Todd Downs. Todd was captain of the football team of course and head of his fraternity house. He came from one of the wealthiest East Coast families (his father is a senator). My parents were pleased with my choice. Todd is whom they would have expected me to date, but he was also the reason I wanted to end my life just a few short months ago.

Since I dated Todd I have been isolated, reduced to my cell phone or e-mail to keep in touch with my friends, for about six months or so now. I’m at the tail end of my freshman year at college, even though I don’t actually take classes on campus right now. I have been completing my last semester courses via correspondence. I have been doing this because I have been sick and basically terrified of life in the real world.

Thanks to my illness (which I will explain) and being paranoid, I have missed all the parties, dances and just about anything, a freshman girl at college can get into. I am an only child to my father and stepmother Sara, so you can say I am the main focus of them both. Let me tell you, this has been sheer hell for me especially right now. I am under a microscope 24/7 and it is draining. It doesn’t matter since nowadays everything is draining to me.

I close my eyes as Kate, as my private home nurse comes into my room. I smell her perfume, the kind they sell at the dollar stores. It stings my nose and fills my overly warm bedroom. I know it is crazy to have a home nurse, but that’s what happens when your dad has too much money and you’re an only child…ah lucky me (not). Thankfully, this is her last day caring for me and I can have some shred of my privacy back.

I like Kate she is kind and funny. Her short hair is a golden color, and spirals up in a hundred different directions. She has come to be a good friend in the past few months, and she never complains when I’m moody. I hate to see her go, but if I am ever going to get back to some kind of normal life, she cannot be here.

“Up up, Corrine!” She chirps her English accent thick and happy.

I groan, pulling my satin pink bedspread up over my head. “No,” I mumble trying to ignore her.

I hear my cell phone ringing again for the tenth time. I slide a hand out from the sheets to grab the damn annoying thing off my nightstand…I groan again. “It’s my wicked stepmother.” Kate laughs softly at me, clearly agreeing. I drop the phone into my pink sheets like a hot potato. I have no desire to talk to that wicked woman so early.

“She won’t stop calling, ya know,” Kate warns. I know Kate is right. I roll my eyes as the phone goes silent. “She’s trying to remind you Doctor Mott is coming over in an hour for your check-up.” Kate smiles, watching me for a reaction.

“Nobody makes house calls anymore Kate. It’s crazy, that’s so one hundred years ago.” I groan, wishing I could hide away from the world in my bed. I was so sick of doctors and medicine.

Kate ignores me, laying out a fresh towel for my shower, and motioning her head to the bathroom. I can hear the shower water already running in the bathroom. Kate knew I would be dragging my feet, so she already turned it on. The home phone on my cluttered dresser, covered by my Garfield pajamas, rings.

“Please tell her I’m in the shower.” I beg as I cringe with each ring.

“Go on, get in the shower. I will handle her!” Kate waves me out of the room and heads to my dresser to dig out my phone. My room is less than clean these days. Kate try’s to “tidy up” for me as she says, but I never let her. Sara treats like a housemaid already, and I just won’t do that. Kate is a single mom, with three kids, she usually looks worn out already when she gets here at 7 am, and that’s without picking up my junk.

I give her a quick hug as I head for the shower. I know Doctor Mott and he is never late. I quickly wash my hair. I know why he is so diligent in my care. My parents recently funded the new cancer center at our local hospital (go figure)! The good doctor doesn’t want to tick off my dad in anyway which means he’s seen me more than he probably has seen any of his other patients this year.

I quickly dry off. Looking in the mirror, I can see I’ve lost weight but I still look good… I think or I hope. I grab the brush to untangle my long hair. Sara bugs me to death to get it cut; it’s only to my waist. She thinks it is too long and like a hippie’s. I could care less what she thinks she looks like a plastic Barbie doll… so she shouldn’t talk. I will take my “hippie look” any day over her “fake” look.

I am told I look just like my mother and I think of that all the time. I keep a picture of her on my dresser. My grandma (I call her Grammy and sometimes Gram) gave it to me when I was five years old. I often look into the mirror and wonder if she sees me. Honestly, I hope she can’t right now. I’m not too fond of the girl looking back at me so I can’t imagine she would be either.

I am lucky that Gram still lives with us. She’s always been here for me. I would be majorly lost without her. I know Sara hates that we are so close, that’s probably because Gram doesn’t like Sara. The day they met Gram told me Sara told her she had already picked out a boarding school for me. Gram said she nearly smacked her in the face at the suggestion of sending me away after she married my father.

I try to forget that thought and quickly slip on my yellow flowered sundress. I don’t look in the mirror again. I know I’m pail and look to skinny in it (Sara told me that last week), no need to verify that fact. I head down to the kitchen to grab something to eat before my check-up. I don’t feel hungry, but if I don’t eat, I will get shaky. I hope this is the last check up for a while. I got rid of the home nurse, now I needed to stop seeing doctors. I have had to go to so many I cannot stand it anymore.

I head downstairs to the kitchen. Sara calls it her gourmet kitchen, for someone who cannot boil water its ridiculous. She spent a year designing it, and over thirty thousand dollars of my dad’s money building it. The stupidest thing about it is the only one who cooks in this house is our chef, Cam Parsons. He started cooking for us after Sara fired the last chef for using non-organic eggs.

That’s the thing around here it’s all about organics. Sara swears food chemicals are poisoning us all. I hide most of my junk food so she can’t find it. Kate and Gram have been so sweet to bring me Twinkies, donuts and other various sweet things Sara has deemed poisonous. I would starve to death if I didn’t have my food stash. Hey, a girl has to have her chocolate!

I manage to get the last donut and pour a glass of organic milk. I start thinking about what my stepmom says about chemicals in our food killing us. I go out with Todd to a party, and get mono and get attacked; milk with hormones is the least of my worries. Death by Twinkies on most days sounds really good to me…sadly.

I take what’s left of my breakfast to the media room and flip on my dad’s pride and joy, his giant flat-screen plasma TV. The room is his “man cave” as Sara calls it. The furniture is all black leather, and the windows have remote control shades, for optimum viewing of the TV. and computer screens. My pictures hang next to the ones of dad and Sara; creepily she looks like my sister and not my stepmother. The TV is on CNN naturally and of course, I channel surf to MTV.

I try to watch the videos and quit thinking of ways to torture Todd for destroying my life and making me sick. I to this very day cannot forget what he did to me. I close my eyes as I feel the panic slipping into my mind, as it always does when I think too much. Thinking has been my downfall. If I could stop, I might forget the sheer terror I felt that cold fall night in the back yard of the Delta Kappa Phi house.

I have spent hours in therapy, being analyzed by shrinks. They try to help me quit having nightmares and severe panic attacks, but they never end. All the doctors look at me with their wire-rimmed glasses perched on the ends of their noses and examine me. They all ask the same questions; I should know I have seen five different shrinks. I think wearing wire-rimmed glasses is like a requirement in the psychology field, at least around here. They must hand them out when they get their degrees.

I now take three antidepressants a day. They are for the continuous suicidal thoughts that haunt me like ghosts on a mission to see me self-destruct. My parents and Grandma watch me as if I am a time bomb ready to explode at any given moment. I cannot find one thing about my old self in me now. I don’t like who I have become. It’s like the real me got lost somewhere that horrible night and she doesn’t seem to have any plans to return. I think the “real” me died the night Todd attacked me.

I can remember it like it was yesterday. All of the girls from my sorority house had been invited to a party at the football players frat house Delta Kappa Phi. It was the usual “keg” party of course. I didn’t drink but I went anyway. My friends and Todd begged me to go. I didn’t see the harm in it at that time, big mistake on my part. Beth and Kara, my two best friends, had come up to my room before the party.

We all got ready together it was sort of a ritual of ours since middle school. We were having a great time trying on clothes and talking, just typical girl stuff. Todd had been bugging me to go over to the party with him. I told him I was walking over with Beth and Kara, and for some reason that made him really mad. I had been watching him lately; his temper was bad all the time. I told Beth I thought he was getting into drugs and she agreed. Kara’s boyfriend David had told her the football coaches were watching him for possible steroid use.

The party was in full swing when we got there, music blaring, kids were running everywhere, it was totally wild. Todd was really pushy all night; he wouldn’t let me out of his sight. I remembered telling Beth he was getting to be a pain in the butt, when I snuck off to the bathroom and ran into her in the hallway. Todd was also trying really hard to get me to drink which I refused. I’d asked him to get me a Coke after telling him I did not want a beer for like the hundredth time.

I was in shock when he took off finally to find me a Coke without nagging me to have a beer again. I remember how sweet the Coke tasted, much more so than it should, but I was so thirsty I didn’t think about it much. I sat down on the steps going upstairs as my head started spinning. I felt like I was going to throw up. Todd pulled me to my feet; he swore I needed fresh air.

I could hardly hold my head up as he took me outside. I remember how cool the night air was, it gave me chills. I tried to take a deep breath so I wouldn’t throw up but my stomach just churned. I wanted to curl up somewhere and sleep or maybe even die, since I felt so bad. I wanted to call Beth and tell her I needed to leave but I had left my cell phone in my purse somewhere inside the frat house.

Todd told me I needed to sit down and by chance, (not) he had a blanket outside behind the gazebo, far from the party. I felt too sick to see he had this planned out. I stumbled as he led me to the back yard. My hearing was getting muffled and I wondered if I had food poisoning, I was close on that thought I found out later. Todd seemed way too helpful as we finally reached the blanket.

The words he spoke were etched into my mind from that night, and they filled my head as a flash back hit me full force. I curled up on the couch and buried my head, as Todd’s voice filled my mind.

“Let’s sit for a while till you feel better and I’ll take care of you.” He said to me. I felt a little better until he started trying to kiss me and when I said I was too sick he said that was too bad

“I need to go home!” I remembered clearly telling him as my stomach flipped over. He only laughed at me.

“You look so hot tonight.” He purred in my ear and I scooted away. He was pushing me to the ground in that next second and I knew right then. I was in major trouble.

“I’m sick, Todd. I need to go home now please.” I kept telling him this over and over. He grabbed my arms as I tried to push him away from me. I felt a rush of panic now.

“No… babe. It’s okay, it will wear off soon it’s not lethal it’s just to loosen you up a little..you know have some fun. They…they told me that. I’ve used it before anyway…with…well never mind.” He stared at me and he looked a little scared for a few brief seconds.

I didn’t understand what he meant by that. I knew he had done something to me already and it was something bad. I was trying to get through to him that I was sick, but he just didn’t get it. The look in his eyes terrified me. This was not the Todd I knew; this man was crazy. I felt his fingers dig into my arms suddenly as he pushed me down. He slapped me hard across the face without warning. I started crying and the next thing I remember he grabbed me by the hair and slammed my head onto the ground.

I felt pain rip across my head as I fought to stay conscious. I came too quickly, fearing what he might do. I knew I had to get up. I made myself keep my eyes open fighting the darkness trying not to pass out. I could feel Todd pinning me down. My arms seemed to fell heavier and heavier and my legs were like lead weights. Everything was spinning when I looked up, as if I was a child at play on a merry go round. This was no child’s game now, Todd Downs was determined to hurt or maybe even kill me.

I drop what is left of my donut as everything comes flooding back into my mind. I put my head on the arm of the couch trying not to cry. I remember begging him to stop, telling him no, over and over. I tried to scream but my voice seemed to be caught in my throat. In the self-defense classes I took with Beth and Kara they always told us to scream the word “no”. They never told us what to do when we couldn’t scream…I wished they had.

Todd didn’t seem to hear me or he just didn’t care when I pleaded with him to stop. I remember I could still think despite the heavy fog my mind was in. I had to fight. I was not letting that idiot hurt me. I managed to pull up my knee and shove him back. My foot caught his cheek hard. He sat back for a second, dazed. I knew it was about to get worse, when he wiped the mud off his face and just laughed.

“Give up, you stupid hag. That’s all you are, good for one thing.” He crawled back to me, his face in mine. I could smell the beer on his hot breath. “You fight me and I’ll make you wish you weren’t born!”

“No.” I screamed or I think I was screaming at that time. My mouth opened but I didn’t hear anything come out, my body wasn’t my own. I felt like I was floating. My head was spinning. I reached up and scratched his face, which didn’t faze him at all. I could taste blood on my lips, as he started pulling at my clothes. I was too weak to fight; when I heard voices it was Kara and David. David yanked Todd off me throwing him down hard. He was yelling at him that’s the last thing I heard, as Kara knelt down and took my hand.

I woke up three days later in the hospital. I had a concussion, stitches in the back of my head, and two broken ribs not to mention bruises all over. I also learned my stomach had to be pumped out. Todd had put three date rape drugs in my Coke. He nearly killed me with that overdose. I was only thirty minutes from death the doctors told me. Kara told me David and some of the other football players beat the crap out of Todd, for what he did to me before the cops got there. He also had to make a stop at the emergency room before going to the county jail thanks to David and his friends.

I was glad to hear that. I felt like hell when the doctors told me I also had mono or mononucleosis. Thanks to Todd who had passed it on to me a week before the attack. Todd had been seeing three other girls in the freshman class and they all had it too. I couldn’t think of being any worse off than I was now. I was so wrong about that.

So now, I sit here at home still mentally bruised. I have therapy twice a week for being attacked and nearly raped. I have nightmares and severe panic attacks. I’m terrified of people I don’t know and don’t like to go out of the house. I also don’t trust anybody, especially guys. I do not ever plan to date again. I can’t even think about it. I’m doomed to a life alone until I can try to get my life back, if that’s even possible. I thought I would get over it but it’s been months since the attack and I haven’t.

I knew I’d better get ready to see Doctor Mott for his monthly visit. I take a deep breath and wipe the tears from my eyes, from my flash back. I try to be nice as I follow him into my dad’s office not but ten minutes later. Dad’s office is more like a big living room with leather couches and a big screen TV, set to the stock market report 24/7. My dad is busy on the phone as he waves us in.

Doctor Mott has brought his student nurse with him. She is a short, chubby girl my age, with bad acne. I can feel her eyes staring at me. I know she’s probably trying to figure out what kind of freak I am that I have to have a check-up at home. I try to ignore her has I watch Doctor Mott get out his charts and blood pressure cuff, followed by his stethoscope.

The nurse checks my blood pressure as my dad talks to the doctor. I can tell they obviously don’t want me to hear as they turn away from me. I smile weakly at the girl. God, this sucks, I think to myself as Doctor Mott checks my temperature and listens to my heart. He seems to be studying my face and movements. I feel like a lab rat.

“How’s my girl, Mott?” My father smiles, looking at me and winking. His deep blue eyes are exactly like mine and his sandy blond hair is neatly parted to the side.

“Very good John. She can go out now and drive in a week. I won’t need to see her for a month or so now. I do recommend more rest and maybe some fresh air.”

“Thank God,” I sigh, watching them talk about me like I am not in the room. I quickly excuse myself. Acne nurse is starting to freak me out. She keeps smiling at me as if I’m mentally impaired or something. I go back up to my room and curl up on my bed, flick on my TV and try to forget how pitifully Doctor Mott and his sidekick looked at me. I’m starting to worry everyone thinks I’m a freak. I start to wonder if maybe I am. I flop back into my pile of pink ruffled pillows and try to bury myself.

I jump up though, as my cell phone buzzes on my nightstand. I check the caller ID to see who is calling me, hoping it’s not my stupid stepmother. I sigh with relief as I see it’s my best friend since first grade, Kara. She has been my lifeline to the outside world. I cannot wait to talk to her every day. I’m hoping we can get together and go see a movie or have lunch, if I can even work up the nerve to go out. I need to get out of the house soon or I might lose what is left of my mind.

“Hi Kara.” A smile is on my face waiting to hear her voice.

“Hi Corrine, how are ya?” Her voice sounds tense. I start to worry. Kara is never tense she’s very comical.

“Doctor Mott said I was okay to go out now. My temp’s gone and my blood pressure’s finally normal.” The silence was freaking me out by now it was weird. I wondered what was going on with her.

“Todd got out of jail this morning,” she said softly. I gasped in shock. I felt my stomach flip. I could not speak; it’s too hard to believe. “His dad got some scumbag lawyer to get him out and on house arrest.” I cover my mouth, dropping the phone as I run to the bathroom to throw up. Todd was out and I knew that no stupid plastic bracelet was going to keep him from coming for me. I felt so sick as I clung to the toilet seat. I could hear Kara yelling for me from my phone next to my leg.

“I’m okay just sick.” I whisper in the phone as I pick it up with shaking hands.

“I thought your dad was pressing charges against him?” I take a deep breath trying not to get sick again.

“Yes he is but, I haven’t been keeping up with it. I know my lawyer is trying to get Todd prison time but I try to forget it all if I can.”

“I don’t blame you. I would too.” She agrees with me.

“I gotta go Kara. I need a minute to settle down.” I fight back the tears creeping down my cheeks and the urge to vomit again.

“Okay, well call me later or I will call you.” I snap the phone closed, as a knock on my door makes me jump. I close my eyes trying to get a grip on myself.

“Can I come in, sweetie?” I take another deep breath hearing my father’s voice. “Okay Dad, its fine.” He walks in slowly. I know what he is going to tell me already.

“I… take it you’ve heard?” He sees the tears on my cheeks. I nod hugging my pillow. “I got a call from Blake (our family lawyer) and he told me Todd William’s lawyer, got the judge to give him house arrest on a temporary basis. They are having trouble charging him for the use of date rape drugs. They have to get your paper work from the hospital lab still.” He sits down on my bed and takes my hand. “I don’t know how that piece of crap lawyer his father has, got it all done.” I can’t speak. I just squeeze my pillow, my head spinning. “I will make sure he gets locked back up, honey.” He leans over and kisses my forehead. “You’re safe okay, he won’t get near you bug.” I smiled as he uses my childhood nickname. I spent one summer hunting ladybugs when I was five. He had called me his bug ever since.

“Blake filed a restraining order on Todd and put in for a hearing to stop the house arrest as soon as possible.” I knew he was trying to ease my fears but I knew Todd was pissed at me. I had heard he was telling his friends I was going to pay for screwing up his life.

“Dad, he… wants to kill me.” I said softly.

“I… I know he does.” He quickly replied holding my hand tighter. I look up at him as he takes a deep breath. “I would never allow him to harm you bug. I promise.” He hugs me. I bury my head in his shoulder; he smells of cigars and cologne. “I have hired extra security on the estate and two guards at the front gates. That animal will never get near you again.” I sigh, trying to accept his assurance of my safety but it’s not working.

“Ok Dad. I won’t worry.” I force a fake smile as he heads for the door.

“I have a meeting in town, but Gram is here, and the security guards.” He smiles warmly at me. “You get some rest now.”

“Ok.” I whisper as he leaves the room. Fear grips me as he closes the door another panic attack creeps up on me.

I collapse on my bed, my cell phone buzzing. I’m too sick to answer it. I didn’t have the strength to talk to anyone. I scavenge my nightstand for my anti-anxiety pills. I hate to take them but it’s that or freak out more. I know my parents will probably have me committed if I lose it again. I felt like I was losing myself anyway. I was slowly but surely slipping away, turning into someone I didn’t know and someone I didn’t like. I couldn’t talk to my friends about this. They just never seemed to understand. All they did was beg me to go to the mall or to some sorority gathering, which was so not going to happen now or maybe ever.

I decided to take a hot bath and shave my legs which nearly resembled a forest (yuck). I didn’t see the reason since I never went out but I figured I should now. I thought that maybe this simple act might make me feel just a little bit more normal. The steam filled the bathroom; my head felt fuzzy from my medication. I stare at the shaving razor, my mind spinning again. I slide into the almost too hot tub. My eyes are still on the shaving razor, waiting on the tub rim. I grab it, smashing the plastic case, the blade slips into the hot water. I feel around the bottom of the tub, it’s by the drain. I hold up my soapy wrist and stare at it thoughtfully.

It’s as pale as the rest of me is. The blue veins connect like a detailed road map; my pulse is thrumming away in my head. I close my eyes wishing I could just disappear. It would be all too easy to just go, to just end this nightmare of a life I cannot escape. I wanted to leave the flash backs, nightmares and voices in my head all behind forever. I try to sleep and I only have more nightmares of Todd. I seem to relive the night he attacked me endlessly. I can only escape him when I double dose my sleeping pills and very often, that doesn’t even work.

I trace a faint line on my wrist with the edge of the razor blade not even thinking about what might happen next, the very real and dire consequences. My only thought is escaping the thoughts in my mind. I suddenly re think what I’m doing, but my wrist is already bleeding. I get dizzy, quickly grabbing a washcloth to cover it. I cannot do this. I sigh the cut is not deep enough to kill me, but it’s there. A reminder of the dark thoughts that seep into my mind after every flash back I have.

I promise myself if I can’t get control of this, I will end it all. I will not live another month as if I am now, every breath filled with fear. I promise myself this silently. I will not live with the fear, the nightmares, and the sadness. I knew where that razor was, and I knew how to stop all of the pain I had to endure every day. I just hated what it would to do to my father and Gram…I knew it would hurt them and I didn’t want that.

I wrap my wrist with a Band-Aid, slip on my nightgown, and go back to bed. I was suicidal and nobody knew it but me. I lied to everyone in my life. I told them I was feeling better, feeling normal even. I guess I was tied of their gentle way of asking if I was “ok” or “doing better” all the time. I was tired of the way they looked at me, as if I might break if they asked me the wrong questions. I heard their hushed voices, as they analyzed me behind my back. I know they are all watching and wondering if I’m really ok…so I just tell them I am.

Life doesn’t get much better than this I sigh thinking sarcastically to myself. I stare at the pill bottles again, a voice pops into my head telling me to take four or five. God I was a head case. I wonder if I shouldn’t call my therapist, tell my dad, or call Kara. I should have done all three, but I knew deep down why I didn’t. I didn’t want anyone to stop me when I made my final decision about living or dying. I knew when I came to the end of my rope, when I couldn’t take one more minute. I was going to kill myself and I didn’t want anyone to stop me.

I sleep finally, the pills lulling me into a few hours of drug-induced peace, until the nightmares seep back into my mind. I suddenly see Todd’s face. I can even feel his hot breath on my neck again. It’s all too real. I begin to cry in fear. I can’t breathe. I feel like my heart is going to explode. I roll and twist in my bed sheets, fighting him.

I wake up covered in sweat, screaming out for help. I feel Gram’s warm comforting arms around me. Her room is next to mine so she always rushes to me when I have bad nights. I bury my head into her shoulder, her comforting smell of lavender and rose perfume soothes me. I begin to catch my breath, realizing it was all just another nightmare.