Promises Hurt

“What the hell did you just say to me?” he roars and I hear Blair’s intake of breath. He’s scaring the shit out of her and something in me snaps. I’ve never had a reason to fight back before until now. Blair has changed that. For the first time in my life I feel like I’m worth something. She makes me want to stand up to him, be a man, defend and take care of her. I would rather die than let him upset her.

 

“You fucking heard me! Don’t disrespect her and talk down to her. Your problem is with me, no one else, and you know what? My whole life I’ve wondered why you seem to hate me so much, put me down, make me feel worthless. Well, now I know. Mom told me about my real mom. What kind of a man does that make you, huh? I’m the only thing you’ve got left of a woman you supposedly loved, and what do you do? You beat me. Your own flesh and blood; part of you and her. Most people would cherish the only reminder of a person they once loved, but oh no, not you, Dad. No, you preferred to kick and punch and beat the hell out of me for reminding you of her. I can’t help how I look, or mannerisms that I may share with her. I’ve never intentionally tried to bait you or upset you. I’ve spent my whole fucking life trying to live up to what you expected and it was never going to be good enough, was it? Because what it all boils down to is that you hate me. You hate me for living and reminding you of what you’ve lost. I’m never going to be able to change that, am I?”

 

I’m shaking with the surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I can hear the blood rushing in my ears and my whole body feels like it’s wound tight as a coil, ready to snap at any second.

 

“Get out the car, now!”

 

I look to Blair who’s shaking her head.

 

“Guys, you need to calm down,” she pleads as we both unbuckle and make a move to exit the car. That’s when I see the look of pure horror flash across her face. I hear her scream just as I turn to see the truck heading straight for us and showing no sign of stopping. I throw myself across her to unbuckle her belt but she’s frozen to the seat. The sound of squealing tires and blasting horn fills the car seconds before darkness takes over.

 

 

 

 

I CAN HEAR high-pitched ringing and the sound of an engine running. Someone’s shouting but I can’t make out who it is. I move my head and try to blink my eyes back into focus. It’s hard work. My eyelids feel like they’re made of lead; I’m struggling to force them open. I try to lift myself from my position across the foot well at Blair’s feet, but I’m engulfed in white-hot pain from every part of my body. Panic sets in as I realize what’s happened. “Blair? Princess, can you hear me?” It hurts to speak and I feel like the same kind of winded pain I felt when the asshole had broken my ribs two years ago.

 

I’m met with silence as I try again to lift myself up and see if Blair’s okay. I cry out in pain as I manage to prop myself up onto the seat. Blair is still sitting in the same position except her eyes aren’t open. An ice-cold dread slides over me and I’m no longer thinking about the pain I’m in.

 

“Blair, baby…open your eyes. Wake up for me, Princess. Open your eyes.” My tears spill out as I lift my arm and start to nudge her. “Blair!” I’m screaming her name this time and still there’s no movement. My head’s swimming and my eyes are begging to close. “Help! Somebody help me!”

 

I look around and can’t see any sign of my dad. The front of the car is completely crumpled, the windshield is smashed and the seat’s empty where he was sitting only moments ago.

 

“Help!” I shout out again but it hurts too badly and I start coughing. I can’t breathe properly and I can’t wake Blair. I’ve never been so scared in my life and my eyes are getting heavier by the second. I’m willing them to stay open; they need to be open. I need to wake her.

 

“Princess, don’t leave me. Open your eyes and promise me you won’t leave me…please?” I’m shaking her hard now and crying in utter terror. I can hear the sound of sirens but I’m not sure if they’re real or if I’m imagining it. The ringing inside my ears is getting louder and I’m fighting a losing battle to stay awake. My tears feel like fire as they spill over my face and I squeeze my eyes shut tight to try stopping them. The sight of Blair laughing as we were pillow fighting enters my mind, the look on her face as I tell her I love her, the sight of her beautiful green eyes gazing into mine as we make love. I can’t make myself open my eyes now. I’m cold and I feel strangely weightless. I want to go to sleep but somewhere in the back of my mind I know I shouldn’t, but my body isn’t responding to the pleas my mind is making.

 

“Ethan?”

 

I hear her soft beautiful voice breathe my name as I try and say ‘I love you’. I want to take one last look at her but I can’t move anymore. I’m being pulled under and I’m powerless to stop it. Her face is the last thing my mind sees as I succumb to darkness.