“Can I?” Damien held out his arms and, after taking a steadying breath, I nodded. Damien’s arms wrapped tightly around me, the scruff on his cheek was rubbing against my neck where he nuzzled at me. It felt good to be held.
Pounding footsteps rang from the far side of the house, then sounded on the stairs. I stiffened involuntarily. “Shhh.” Damien murmured close to my ear. “It’s just Ryder. I told him you were awake.” The door banged into the wall as it was flung wider by an overeager Ryder. Killian jumped aside, swearing loudly as Ryder rushed between him and Hiro to get to me. I gasped as Ryder scooped me up off of the bed. His usually perfect hair was mussed, hanging heavily around his face as though he had been running his fingers through it. The purple had faded significantly, and it appeared as though he hadn’t taken the time to renew it.
“Don’t you ever scare me like that again, do you understand?” Ryder’s voice was muffled from where he pressed his face into my neck. Confused, guilty, and feeling a little unsteady, I reached up to rub his back in long, soothing strokes. My Phoenix cooed happily in my mind, and I tried not to stiffen in Ryder’s arms. It felt good to be held; I just needed to make my brain understand what my heart was feeling.
“I’m sorry, Ry.”
“We’re never going to be bored with you around are we?” Damien moved closer and threaded his fingers through my hair. I cringed, not from the touch, but from worry. If I’d been out for a week, I’m sure my hair was oily and disgusting, and I didn’t want any of them to see me like that.
“See, she’s awake now, and she’s fine.” Damien gave a contented sigh.
“Thank fuck.” The surly Celt just had to add his two cents.
“If she hadn’t woken up today, I would have gone.” Ryder’s tone was sullen. Had they been fighting?
“Gone where? I feel like I’m on the tail end of an argument.” The last thing I wanted was to come between them.
Ryder had the sensibility to look ashamed. “Uh… the Council.”
“You were going to tell the Council about me?” I couldn’t keep the hurt out of my voice.
Ryder pulled back to stare into my eyes. “You were dead for over forty-eight hours, Nix. You were comatose for almost one hundred more. Hell, you were given Vish Kaya venom! No one is able to survive that, Nix! I wasn’t sure your Phoenix would be able to revive you! I would have done anything to wake you up. I lost Ally already. I’m not fucking losing you too.”
My head was spinning. My Phoenix was hissing in my head at the name of another girl on Ryder’s lips. I was dizzy with pain and hunger.
“Enough.” Hiro’s voice was hard as steel. “Nix, you’re barely awake. Come sit back down. I don’t want to push your body too hard. I’d appreciate it if you’d let us get some food and water into your system. Ryder ran an I.V. for you, but it’s not the same thing.” His tone turned gentle, almost crooning as he directed his words to me.
Shaking slightly, I nodded in agreement, leaning into Damien as I walked the few steps back to the bed. More awake now, I was aware of the cold floorboards under my bare feet, and I tried not to shiver. Hiro pulled me down gently, stacking pillows behind my back and shoulders and wrapping the blanket around my shoulders as he rubbed at my chilled toes. The sensation of his hands rubbing over my feet, his fingers pressing into all the right spots, made my mind mush and I melted into the bed. I had never been cared for like this. It was something a girl could get used to.
“Ryder, get her some more water please.” Hiro’s voice did not allow for argument. Ryder nodded stiffly and stepped from the room, his steps soft as he headed down the stairs.
Ally was his sister, Nix. Damien’s mind voice was soft, his eyes trained on the open doorway. I could feel your anxiety about it. It’s his story to tell, not mine. All I’ll say is that he barely held it together when she died. He’d give up his own life to bring her back. He wasn’t trying to betray you by admitting he would go to the Council for help. He’s trying to show you how much you mean to him.
Instantly I was flooded with shame and regret. I vaguely remembered them mentioning he had a sister and that something had happened. Besides, I really didn’t want to die. I knew the Council would find out about me sooner or later, and if I had to pick sooner to keep myself alive, well, then that’s exactly what I’d do. Taking a deep breath, I worked to release my built up tension as I exhaled.
Killian sat down on the edge of the bed, his jaw clenched tight and his hands shaking as they reached up to stroke my hair back behind my ears. I prepared myself for the contact and was proud when I didn’t flinch. Instead, my Phoenix cooed with contentment. “You scared the bloody hell out of me, Annie girl.”
“Annie?” A part of me was skeptical about the nickname. Another part of me glowed with warmth at the idea that he cared enough to give me a nickname at all.
He chuckled and twirled a strand of my hair around his finger. “Does it bother you when I call you that?” Slowly I shook my head as I pulled my hair from his grasp. I paused for a moment before pulling my long hair into my line of sight.
“Why is my hair clean?” Ok, admittedly, that sounded dumb and was probably the least important question I could ask. I tried to give myself a break, realizing that I was still in pain and out of it. This time they all chuckled.
“You thought we wouldn’t take care of you? You’re also in clean pajamas. We’ve been doing the I.V. We couldn’t wake you, but we could do our best to make you comfortable and keep you clean and healthy.” Damien was smiling, rubbing his hand over the dark stubble that had grown on his jaw. It was a damn good look on him. A part of me was pleased, but I couldn’t block the wave of fear that rushed over me as well. “It’s okay, Nix. You were dressed while we washed your hair. Rini changed your clothes. None of us touched you that way.” I couldn’t help the blush that rose in my cheeks. My mental barriers were lowered, but even so, I realized that my ability to project my thoughts to Damien was stronger than it had been before my rebirth. I wasn’t even trying to project, and he seemed to be picking up on everything I was thinking and feeling. On the one hand, I was feeling the lack of privacy, but on the other, my Phoenix and I were preening at the thought of being more connected to Damien and the others.
Ryder came in, a small tray loaded with food and drinks. “It was a compromise. As long as we could keep you clean and at least hydrated here, we would hold off on taking you to the hospital at the commune. If you’d slept much longer we wouldn’t have been able to provide adequate care here with the I.V. You’ve lost a lot of weight as it is.” He grumbled the final sentence at me, placing the tray over my legs. Carafes of water and orange juice were carefully balanced among a stack of toast, a plate of scrambled eggs, a small jar of jam, and a bowl of sliced fruit. Wow, I had expected a bowl of cereal…
Damien scoffed. “Like I’d let you eat that sugary garbage. You need nutrition, not sugar coated cardboard.” I giggled in response and the mood slightly lifted in the room in reaction to the sound.