Ambivalent

She was referring to the cream rug Kean and I had made love on. My entire body shook violently as I dry heaved on my way to the other side of the sofa.

“Aww, don’t take it personal, Ciaran. I like you. I really do. I didn’t intend for you to get involved but stupid Shawna finally agreed to my fantastic idea about publishing an article about Dr. Kean Bennett except she chose you. It only took fucking years of pestering her about it. Only, I was the one who was supposed to write the article. She almost fucked it all up when she assigned you the interview him.” She waved the gun around in the air. “Whatevs, right? I think I’m going to enjoy this more anyways. You do know the fucking asshole you love is the son of a monster, right?”

“Brenda, his father didn’t kill that woman on purpose. It was an accident.”

“That woman was my fucking mother!” Brenda yelled. I took another tiny step back and froze when she aimed the gun at my head.

“His father killed my mother and walked away, free as a bird. No one did anything. Fucking hypocrites. Acting like awarding us money was going to make up for the loss of my mother. But guess what? Money can’t replace a parent. It only kept my father supplied in liquor. My father was so emotionally distraught, he became a fucking alcoholic and left my brothers, who were just babies themselves, to raise me. Dear old dad wasted all his time obsessed with the Duarte family. Daily, I would stand at his knee watching as he wrote about what he wanted to do to them. How he wanted to hurt them so they would pay. And then he would pack me into the car and drive us down to the nearest post office to mail them. True quality father and daughter time. It was even better when he would take me with him to watch them. It was like a game of hide and seek. He and I parked down the street and watched them all. I got to hear all about how they stole my mother from us. How they hurt her. And there was Kean, growing up without out a fucking care in the world. How is that fair? You tell me how is that justice? By the time my dad died I had learned to play the game well enough that I was able to step right up to the plate. And you, missy, waltzed right into the middle of it. Seriously, all you had to do was write about the monster Kean is so that someone in that fucking family paid for what they stole. That’s it. And instead you and fucking Stuart fucked it all up.”

“Stuart? What did Stuart have to do with this?”

Brenda let out a sarcastic laugh. “Stuart was a fucking loser. I sought him out after I did some digging into Kean’s life and learned about their little high school drama. Finally found him at a club and got him drunk while he spilled his dirty secrets. He hated Kean, was jealous over Kean’s money and looks. He told me all about it while we fucked like animals. It was because of me that Stuart got the job at Polish. I had a fucking brilliant plan but once again you had to get in the way. Stuart took one look at your pathetic eyes and changed his mind about involving you. He didn’t want you to meet Kean. He wanted you for himself. Now don’t get me wrong, Stuart did come in handy when he laced the chocolate so I could eat them without killing myself but then he royally fucked up when he forced himself on you. He couldn’t even rape you right. Pathetic waste.”

It occurred to me she had used the past tense to describe Stuart.

“Brenda, what did you do to Stuart?”

Brenda smirked. “What’s the saying? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. Old Stuart is permanently asleep in a place where he now will rust.”

“You killed Stuart?” I yelled.

The accusation didn’t seem to bother Brenda one bit. She looked excited as she nodded her head. “Yup, I did. He didn’t even see it coming. It was the highlight of my week until you jumped into Kean’s car and peeled out of the parking lot like a big baby. That’s when it hit me. I would simply remove the item that meant the most to Kean. Which is you. That would hurt like a bitch, right? Except you didn’t fucking die in the accident but that’s okay. We are about to fix it here shortly.”

She shook the gun at me. My heart slammed against my chest.

“Brenda, please don’t do this,” I begged. “Dr. Duarte didn’t mean for your mother to die on that table. It wasn’t Kean’s fault. He was just a child.”

Gripping one side of her head with her free hand Brenda let out a blood-curdling scream. I jumped and looked towards the door again, my eyes growing wide when I didn’t see Thad’s body anywhere, just a pool of blood smeared across the floor.

Thad was alive.

Looking back at Brenda, I quickly decided the best thing to do was to keep her focused on me and pray to God that Thad could somehow get us out of this in one piece.

“Brenda, it wasn’t Kean’s fault.”

“Liar,” Brenda screamed. “You’re a fucking liar just like him.”

“I swear I’m not lying,” I cried.

“Shut up!” She waved the gun at me. “Kean needs to learn what it feels like to lose everything he loves. I’m done talking to you. You need to die.”

Everything started moving in slow motion. I watched as she evened out the gun at arm’s length, her finger twitching over the trigger.

A loud bang exploded.

They say right before you die your entire life flashes before your eyes. So what does it mean when the last thing that appears is the face of the man you love?





Epilogue





Kean



I hadn’t shut the door yet. I could already hear her humming and talking as a pan clattered on what sounded like the stove.

Dropping my laptop bag on the table behind the sofa, I quietly walked into the kitchen and smiled when I saw her stirring something on the burner. She had her back to me but kept turning her head to the side while she spoke towards the floor.

“That’s right, Fred. And Melany said I couldn’t cook. What does she know?”

A deep bellowing bark came from the hound at her feet.

When we first adopted him, she wanted to name him Thad because the dog was built like a miniature version of my best friend. And since Thad had saved her life that horrifying day when Brenda tried to steal it from her, she felt she owed him. But Thad had revolted. He promised to make her life a living hell if she did.

All three of us agreed that the name Fred suited the fur-ball well.

On occasion, Thad still complained he felt like he had been replaced and unfortunately, I had to somewhat agree. I often thought he and I both were, because every time Ciaran took one look at those basset hound eyes she fell head over heels in love.

I was more than a little jealous of the beast.

The great thing was, none of us initially knew how much of a blessing in disguise the dog was going to be. We quickly discovered Melany despised Fred just as much as Fred despised Melany. He barked like crazy when they first met and had managed to knock her flat on her ass once, which worked out well for Ciaran and I. Her pathetic excuse for a mother refused to visit the apartment as long as Fred had residency there. When I found that out, I drove to the pet store and bought an extra large dog bone as a gift for the pooch, which amused Ciaran to pieces.

Turning to the side, Ciaran reached into the sink and presented me with the perfect view of the swell of her stomach. She had always been beautiful but pregnant with my child, she was fucking radiant. I hadn’t told her yet but I’d pretty much decided to keep her pregnant for the rest of our lives.

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