Ambivalent

“The police haven’t been able to find the car that pushed her off the road. The guy at the service station is still sticking by his guns that it was a dark gray, four-door sedan with tinted windows, but it peeled out of there so fast that was all he could remember. The security cameras for the station only caught the edge of the accident, not enough to see a license plate or anything.”

“Thad, this needs to end. We have to catch this guy. I’m convinced it’s Whitman,” I stated angrily.

Thad looked agitated as he glanced over my right shoulder towards the living room.

“I’m not so sure it’s Whitman. I’ve got several of my connections watching for him but the guy hasn’t shown up on anyone’s radar. It’s like he disappeared off the face of the planet.” Thad walked over to the fridge, pulled two beers from inside and handed me one.

“Shit, Thad. I could have lost her.”

Thad looked thoughtful for a moment. “What if it wasn’t her they were after?”

“What do you mean?”

“Think about it. She was driving your car with tinted windows at night. No one would be able to tell you weren’t the one driving. They would automatically assume it. She grabbed your key fob by mistake.”

They thought I had been driving the car. That fucking bastard wanted me dead and almost killed her by mistake.

I looked in the same direction Thad was staring in.

I was frustrated I hadn’t thought of it to begin with. With everything that was happening, my brain didn’t seem to be firing on all cylinders. I was missing details here and there, which was not only dangerous for a surgeon, but also because I was trying to keep Ciaran safe. I needed to remain sharp and focused.

“What’s our next move?”

Thad took a swig of his beer before answering. “I’m not so sure it’s up to us.”

I looked back towards the living room where Ciaran was shifting as much as the cast on her arm would let her.

“Are you fucking telling me we have to wait until he comes after us?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

“No way. Thad, I love her. I’m not about to put her at risk because some lunatic wants me dead.”

Thad tossed his empty beer bottle in the trash and turned to face me. “Unless you cut all ties with Ciaran, it’s out of your hands. We both know that’s not even feasible anymore. Whoever this is isn’t going to stop until they get what they want. She is at risk. There is nothing you can do at this point but keep her safe and hope this fucker flounders and exposes himself. At least between the two of us, we can keep her safe.”

The beer suddenly tasted rancid in my mouth. I set the half full bottle on the counter and looked back towards the sofa.

I would risk everything to protect Ciaran including my own life. The only thing making me feel slightly better was I knew the man standing at my side would also do the same.





Chapter Thirty





Ciaran



“There are a couple of casseroles in the freezer I prepared in case you get hungry. You can pick one and heat it up. Ask Thad to help you,” Kean commented as he walked from the kitchen into the living room where I was wrestling with one of several blankets I was swathed in.

I was hot. Too damn hot.

When Kean and I first woke a couple of hours earlier, I had made the mistake of placing my cold toes against his bare leg. Kean flipped out over my icy feet and proceeded to wrap me in several layers. I felt like a burrito and couldn’t seem to unwrap myself.

And I was sweating.

“Kean, I know how to work an oven. You can stop worrying. I’m fine.”

“I hate leaving you.”

He stepped to the side of the recliner and handed me a small white pill along with glass of water. I could feel him watching me as I swallowed the pain medication.

Once I had been released from the hospital, Kean nervously informed me from here on out I would be living with him at his place. It made me laugh because he was so cute about it. For being such a big, tough guy the worried look on his face when he told me he had already moved all my stuff to his place was priceless.

I was also happy. I was eager to see us move forward, to get on with our lives, together.

He had taken a week-long leave of absence from work and stayed with me but was due back to the office this morning. There were patients depending on him and as much as I loved us together, I was looking forward to spending a couple of hours alone. Well, as alone as one could get with Thad hovering around the condo. I was madly and deeply in love with Kean but I was being protectively smothered.

The good thing was, other than soreness from my broken ribs and my left arm still in an annoying cast from the elbow down to my wrist, I was feeling better. Mentally, I was a different story because the constant nightmares wouldn’t let me rest and I was desperate for deep, unmedicated sleep.

“Kean, seriously, I’m fine. Nothing is going to happen. Besides, Thad is here so unless I melt from overheating in the five million layers of material you’ve wrapped me in, I’m positive there is no reason to worry.”

Thad looked up from the laptop he was working on at the dining room table and grinned. It amazed me how it was only seven in the morning and he was already impeccably dressed in his trademark suit.

Kean leaned over my chair, pulled my pouting chin up with the tips of his fingers and placed a kiss against my lips. “Fine. I should be home around five or six. If it’s all right with Thad, we can go out to dinner.”

Thad laughed. “Hey, as long as you feed me too, I’m all for it.”

With one last look and a wink, Kean left me in my overheated bundle.

I wiggled to loosen the blankets a little more as a wave of drowsiness pulled heavily at my eyelids. Yawning, I tried to fight it. I didn’t want to fall asleep. Nothing good came from the nightmares I was plagued with. That stupid accident had rattled my life.

“Ciaran, you okay?” Thad asked as he typed.

“Yup. It’s just the painkiller. It makes me sleepy,” I replied as I yawned again.

He stood and walked to the front of the chair squatting to meet my tired eyes. “Try to get some rest. I’ll be right here if you need me.”

“Promise me you won’t leave me alone,” I whispered, my words slightly slurred.

“Sweetheart, I promise,” Thad replied.

Closing my eyes, I settled deeper into the chair and drifted off into a veil of black.



……………………..



Something woke me.

My eyes flew open as my heart hammered erratically inside my chest. I was sweating again but this time it wasn’t from being overheated. Behind my eyelids something had been chasing me as it cackled with laughter. I considered myself lucky I couldn’t recall what it was.

The pile of blankets that had been holding me prisoner were now strewn on the floor in front of the recliner. I must have kicked them off in my sleep.

Pulling my damp nightshirt away from my chest, I snapped the recliner closed with a grunt. The motion caused a bit of dull pain in my ribs.

“Thad?” I called out, looking around for him.

“Ciaran, you okay?” Thad’s voice came from down the hallway. The heavy sound of footsteps followed as he entered the living room.

I found it odd when my heart sped up again as I watched Kean’s oversized best friend moving closer.

“Ciaran, what’s wrong?” he asked.

I told myself to calm down. This was just Thad. Kean’s best friend. He was the last person I should be frightened of. Those damn nightmares were screwing with my brain.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah. How long have I been asleep?”

“About four hours,” Thad answered, eyeing my face as if he were trying to read my thoughts.

“Has Kean called?” I asked, trying to stand.

Thad bent down and helped me up before gathering the blankets from my feet.

“He called about an hour ago to check on you and I told him you were still asleep. He was going into a meeting but said he would give you a call a little later.”

“Okay thanks. I think I’m going to take a shower.”

Thad flushed as he began looked uncomfortable. “Do you need my help?”

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