“What did she say?” Brenda asked.
“Ms. Thompson, you gave your loved ones quite a scare.” The doctor moved his hands over my neck and applied slight pressure. “Do you remember what happened?”
I began to nod and winced as pain shot up the back of my head.
“Can you tell me what happened?”
I brought my left hand up and touched the tips of my fingers to my throat.
“Water?” I croaked.
Thad moved from his spot at the end of the bed. Grabbing the plastic pitcher from the table against the wall he poured water into a small blue plastic cup with a straw. He gave me a smile as he approached me and moved the straw towards my mouth. I was scared to take a sip but the little offering of hydration made a world of difference. My mental fog instantly cleared up allowing me to focus a thousand times better.
My eyes scanned the room again.
Melany, with her hands pressed to her chest, was crying uncontrollably, while Brenda, who had her own tears streaming, hugged Melany’s shoulders. I couldn’t help but wonder when Melany had returned and with whom.
Frowning, I looked at Thad, who gave me another small smile before stepping away from the bed and setting the cup back down on the table.
I looked towards Kean. Standing on the far side of the room, he was watching me carefully. He looked tired and worried and I hated how far out of reach he stood.
Wetness slid over my cheeks as I examined his exhausted appearance and the crushed expression that crossed his face.
He moved further back increasing the distance from where I was lying.
“No, wait!” I hoarsely cried out.
Everyone turned to look at him while he froze.
“Please, Kean, don’t leave me,” I whispered.
With those words, he was across the room in two huge steps. Leaning over the bed, he pressed his lips first to my forehead and then ever so gently to my dry cracked lips.
“I will never leave you, Ciaran. Not ever. I love you.”
The doctor stood from the edge of the bed. “I think we should let Ms. Thompson get some rest for right now and we can set up the rest of her tests.” He directed the nurse and they both left the room.
Melany and Brenda moved to the side of the bed. Hanging on tightly to Kean’s hand, I looked at Melany first.
“I-I-I’m sorry I’m not a good mom. I’m sorry. I’ll try to do better.” She hiccupped.
Brenda wrapped one arm around the woman who was my mother, but it wasn’t until I reached out with a hand and patted her tanned arm that she stopped crying. “Melany, I know you’re the best you can possibly be.”
Seemingly at ease, she wiped her cheek and awkwardly patted my head. “Brenda and I will give you and Kean some time.”
Brenda said nothing. Just caressed my hair and followed after Melany.
Thad stepped next to the bed. “Sweetheart, I’m glad you’re alright.” Leaning over, the big man placed a gentle kiss on the top of my head and walked out the door.
I was left alone with Kean.
It had always been Kean. I knew then, it had been his voice begging as it made me promises in the dark.
Staring at each other, we each drank in the sight of the other. “Ciaran, I’m so sorry.”
I interrupted whatever else he was about to say. “Kean, please don’t apologize.”
“No, you need to hear this. I need you to know it wasn’t what you thought, I swear. Monique and I spent all day going over new patient files until right before I texted you. I slept with her once after a party at work but that was years ago. I haven’t touched another woman since I met you. You’re all I want, all I can think about. I’m sorry I have such a shitty way of showing it.” He raised my hand to his lips and held it there. “When you drove out of the parking garage, Thad and I followed you in his car but you got a good distance ahead of us. We lost you for a bit but kept driving in the direction we thought you headed. I could see the flashing lights from down the street. When I saw your body in the wreckage my heart stopped.”
Kean’s eyes filled with tears as he leaned closer and looked at our clasped hands. His voice shook as he fought for control. “The guy at the gas station across the street had already called 911. They loaded you into the ambulance. They wouldn’t let me ride with you. All I kept thinking was how I never got to tell you that I love you.” Meeting my eyes, he continued. “Ciaran, I love you. I love you so fucking much. I’m sorry I lost my temper and I keep fucking this up.”
Releasing my hand, he looked down again and wiped his face.
“Kean, look at me.”
When his eyes met mine again I could see hurt, fear, and defeat.
He was afraid it was too late.
“Kean, I love you,” I whispered.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Kean
Rays of sunlight were hitting her hair making it look redder rather than reddish-brown.
I found myself at odds with how that same light projected the dark circles underneath her eyes. They looked like bruises tinged with red.
It had been more than a week since the accident and Ciaran hadn’t been sleeping well.
The first night home from the hospital I had been reading in a chair across from the bed as she slept. I took comfort with every breath I heard her take until she woke up screaming from a nightmare. Rushing to the bed, I wrapped her in my arms but it had taken several minutes to assure her she was safe.
It had been that way practically every night since.
Which is why, an hour earlier, when she fell asleep while she watched the television, I tried to close the curtains. I was afraid the light was going to wake her but she murmured for me to let them be. Even in her unconscious state, she was afraid of the dark. It infuriated me because I had been hoping to keep her safe so that she felt secure. And here she was plagued by something I couldn’t control.
As soon as her doctor had informed me they were going to release her from the hospital, Thad and I moved all her things into my apartment without even asking. It was presumptuous but I was selfish. I didn’t want to exist another second without her permanently in my atmosphere.
I had even gone as far as to solve the issue of Melany by taking over the payments of the apartment they lived in. That way Melany would still have a place to live. Their relationship was an odd one, seeing as how Melany had spent her life maxing out every metric for selfishness, immaturity, and neediness, usually at the expense of her child. But I knew if Melany suddenly became homeless, Ciaran would worry, which would be the complete opposite of what I wanted.
I had gotten Ciaran home and had held my breath. I had been concerned she was not going to approve of us living together. My girl was stubbornly independent. It was one of the things I loved about her but her rejection of the idea would’ve gutted me.
My concern wasn’t warranted.
Her response had been a single giggle. It was a sweet sound, one I hadn’t heard her make before and seemed so ironic coming from her black and blue body covered in bandages. I made up my mind right then and there I would live the rest of my life doing everything in my power to hear that sound repeatedly.
The front door opened and Thad walked in. I shot him a warning look, silently ordering him to be quiet.
With his long-legged stride, he walked towards me. A closed lip smile spread on his face when he spotted Ciaran asleep on the sofa. In the short time she had forcefully inserted herself into our lives, she had pierced her way through the tough shell of my best friend. He was just as sensitive and drawn to her as I was.
He pointed a finger towards the kitchen so I would follow him as he headed in that direction.
“Well?” I asked.