Ever Enough

I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to waking up in Finn’s arms. I was still coming to terms with the fact that he was even here in my life and we were living together. I’d gone back and replayed how we’d got here in the first place, and was still shocked. Everything happened so fast, and frankly as scared as I may have been to be with him again, I didn’t regret a moment of it. My parents welcomed Finn back with open arms, which was the easy part for me. They loved me, and if I was willing to accept Finn back in my life, they would too. My parents were the best. However, the hard part would be letting Finn back into my heart. I never pictured my life where it was today. I’d picked up a new ability to accept change and to live my life however the cards fell. Not the easiest of tasks, but definitely a new quality that I had welcomed with grace.

Almost a week had passed since we’d been to see my parents, and Finn and I had become closer than ever. During the week I also received a phone call from my lawyer to say that the judge had granted my divorce from West. I found it funny that marriage, which took eight years to build, could dissolve and be dismissed in a matter of months. West hadn’t spoken to me since I announced the pregnancy. He didn’t seem to care about our child or want to know how I was doing and I have to admit, it hurt. Nobody could devote that much time to someone and then just get up and walk away without having some sort of residual feelings. I didn’t love West, and I didn’t think I ever really had. But he had been my husband, and we’d shared a life together. We had been friends, which is more than likely why I felt sadness when I thought about him not caring about me or our child. The papers that were signed and filed included the additional money he said he’d pay me for the baby; despite me telling him that I didn’t want it. When I had hung up with my lawyer, I decided that I was going to head to the bank and open up a separate account for the money to be deposited into for the time being. I would look at setting it up so that my son or daughter could have the money when he or she turned eighteen. I had no need for the money.

I’d given myself twenty-four hours to let the idea of being a divorced woman sink in, and therefore the following day, I woke up in the best mood. The weight of the divorce had been taken off of my shoulders and I felt light and airy. As I lay there in bed with Finn wrapped around me, I smiled at my new situation. I was no longer in limbo. I had more of an idea where I wanted my life to go. And the best bit? Finn was in every part of it. Some may have looked at my situation as sad, but from where I was lying—with a hot man wrapped around me—I couldn’t see it that way any longer. The unease I’d been feeling had gone. All this time I’d thought it might have been Finn, and the feeling that he was hiding something from me, but I now believed it had been the not knowing if I was going up or down, left or right.

Finn had a protective arm around my stomach and his heavy even breaths warmed my hair. Even in his sleep, he was hard. I pushed back into him and he groaned. I tried not to giggle. Squirming a little more I wiggled my butt. He let go of my stomach and placed his hand firmly on my hips.

His deep gravely voice spoke in my ear. “Don’t start something you can’t finish Tiny Girl.”

Feeling brave I responded, “Who said I wouldn’t finish? I want you… now.”

He pushed me over on my back, while he lay on his side and his mouth was on mine. His soft tender lips were fierce, as his tongue dove deep in my mouth. His hands tangled in my hair and he pulled me even closer to him. His kiss was desperate; it was clear he wanted me and it made me even wetter than I was before. All shyness left me, and desire took its place. I reached down and grabbed his cock and started stroking him through his boxer briefs.

Finn let go of my hair and let his hand slip under my tank top, brushing his thumb across my nipples. I moaned. He bit down lightly on my lower lip, tugging before he released it and kissed his way down my neck. My stroking became more frantic. He felt amazing.

He stopped his downward path long enough to pull my shirt over my head. His naked chest against my bare skin was almost more than I could take. I was desperate and I wanted him now. As that thought passed through my head, he latched on to my nipple and started sucking, hard.

“Oh god.” I put my hands in his hair and yanked him closer to me.

He let go of my nipple and I looked down at him. He snaked his tongue out and it circled my sensitive skin, his eyes looking up at me. It was one of the most erotic things I’d ever seen. I was shaking from desire and I was so close to coming and he hadn’t even touched me where I really needed him to yet.

“You like this Tiny Girl?”

Bastard. He knew what he was doing to me. I decided turn about was fair play. I sat up, pushing him back until he was the one laying flat. I licked up his neck and nipped his earlobe. His hips shifted a bit. Pulling back a bit I smiled at him. He gave me a wicked grin back.

“What are you up…”

He was cut off by my yanking his underwear down. I gripped him hard in my hand. He was so much bigger than I remembered him being. My fingers barely touched him as I stroked him up and down.

“F*ck Em!” He grunted.

Being the one in charge was a heady experience. I licked, sucked, and bit my way down his perfect body. Each and every ridge of his abs tasted more delicious than the last. Reaching my destination, I glanced up at him. He was watching me through hooded eyes. I descended on his cock and took him into my mouth, whirling my tongue around the head of him. His hands gripped the sheets by his hips.

I dipped my head down, taking as much of him into my mouth as I could. I felt him at the back of my throat before I pulled back up. I did this a few times. Always letting my teeth slightly graze the head of his cock on my upward motion. I could tell he was trying his hardest not to push himself into my mouth, but not long after I started he couldn’t help himself any longer. One of his hands came up and held the back of my head.

“Jesus Em, I’m going to come if you keep doing that.” He bit out through gritted teeth.

I pushed even further, wanting to taste more of him. He was losing himself to me.

“Emilyn, if you don’t stop I’m going to come.”

I pulled away and looked up into his eyes. “Then come Finn. I want to taste you.”

With those words, his self control went out the window. He grabbed the sides of my head and started pumping into my mouth. He’d grown impossibly hard.

“Oh shit… shit… I’m going to come Em!”

I let go of one of this thighs and took a hold of his balls. That’s when he really lost it.

He let out a guttural groan, and his hot semen hit the back of my throat.

“Oh god. Oh f*ck… Emilyn!”

His rhythm started to slow and falter as he shook, coming down from his orgasm.

Releasing him from my mouth, I licked my lips. He was watching me through half closed lids.

“That has got to be one of the most erotic things I’ve ever seen.” He sounded tired.

I crawled up the bed and lay my head on his chest. His heart was still hammering.

“Well, I’ll be here all week.” He chuckled at my lame attempt at a joke.

“What about you?” He asked.

“What about me?” I tilted my head up, resting my chin on his right pectoral.

“I’d love to return the favor Tiny Girl.”

I thought about it. My need was obviously still there, but I was good. I thoroughly enjoyed watching him come undone at my hands—or mouth as it was—that I didn’t feel the need to get more from him.

“That was more than enough for me Finn.” I smiled at him, but I had a question lingering in my head.

“What’s on your mind Em? I can see the wheels turning up there.” He stroked his hand down my cheek.

All shyness from earlier came rushing back in. My cheeks felt like they were getting warm.

“You’re so cute when you blush.”

I rolled my eyes. “Alright… well, I was sort of wondering why we’ve done all of…well, you know…this stuff, but we haven’t actually had…” I felt weird just coming out with it.

“Sex?”

I cleared my throat, but I was unable to meet his eyes. “Yes. Don’t you want to? With me?”

“Look at me Emilyn.”

I met his eyes.

“Never doubt that I want to be with you. Okay?” I nodded my head. “I guess the easiest way to explain this to you is to say I do want to have sex… I just don’t want to have sex like this.”

Feeling like I’d been hit, I pulled back.

“What do you mean, like this?”

“I want you. I want you bad. But you’re pregnant Em. You have no idea how much I wish that baby inside you was mine. It’s not that I wouldn’t have sex with you because you’re pregnant, but the baby is someone else’s. When I’m with you again, I want it to be just you and me, with nothing between us. You are so beautiful, and you’ve been so strong through everything. I just feel that if we wait, it will be that much better.”

I suppose I understood his explanation. This baby was a product of my marriage. He didn’t want that to be in the back of our minds when we finally came together. He wanted me and only me. It was going to suck going through the next four months wanting to be with him, but I’d suck it up if it’s what he wanted.

He added, “In the meantime, there are so many other things that we can do to have fun.” He gave me a cocky smirk. “Besides, if and when it’s our turn to have a baby, you better believe I am going to have you every way under the sun.”





After a bit more teasing and playing around, Finn decided we needed to celebrate the day by going out and buying some baby furniture to decorate the nursery. I thought that was a great idea, although he seemed to be under the impression that he’d paying for said baby items. Not happening!

We drove into town and stopped at a cute little boutique across the street from Mingle, the store that Harper and I had shopped in months ago for the reunion. How things had changed since then. Going into the store, Finn led me around with his hand on my back. He stayed at my side as I picked out a crib, changing table, and bassinet; all of which I planned on keeping in with me until I felt comfortable enough to put the baby in their own room.

When it came time to pay, Finn tried to gently push me aside and hand the lady at the register his credit card, but I was still fast for a preggo and beat him to it. He glowered at me, and I beamed up at him.

“You’ll have to be faster next time.”

He growled. “Uh huh. This right here,” he motioned with his hand between me and the cash register. “This is never going to happen again. Understood?”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re so bossy!” I was happy that I didn’t have to argue with him in the store though.

“Only with you Em.” He picked up the bags that held the new crib bedding and he followed me out of the store.

“You want to go grab some lunch at that new sandwich shop across from Beans?” If I didn’t eat soon, I was certain I’d revert to the ways of the wild and eat my young before it was born.

“Sounds good.”

We loaded up the car and drove through town.

When we got to the shop, Finn went to the counter to order our food while I found us a seat by the window. It was too cool to sit outside but the sun was warm as it beat through the glass. I positioned myself so I could feel the heat on my back, and I faced the rest of the shop.

Ten minutes later Finn sat down across from me and we chatted and ate our sandwiches.

“This place is so good!” I said around a mouthful of food. “Definitely going to come here during my lunch break!”

Finn agreed with me and we continued to eat to our hearts content. When we finished he sat back and patted his protruding belly. I burst out laughing.

“You look like you’re trying to compete.” I said pointing to my stomach.

“Yours is definitely cuter than mine.” He chuckled.

He looked over my shoulder still smiling when his mouth faltered. His face contorted to a mix of distaste, panic, and confusion. His eyes traveled towards the front door.

“Oh shit.”

“What?” His expression was unnerving.

He didn’t answer me. My attention was drawn to one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen walking towards our table. Her light blue eyes were almost gray. She was very tall with long lean legs. Her breast were huge, but more than likely fake. And as she approached her eyes were set on Finn. What the hell was going on?

I tore my gaze away from the tall woman to look at Finn, and I saw him swallow hard.

“What in the hell are you doing here Valerie?” Finn spoke up and he didn’t sound very happy.

Holy shit! This was Val? The woman that Kyler went and on and on about at the reunion? The same woman that Finn had been seeing on-and-off when he lived in California?

“What do you mean, what am I doing here? I kept calling you and you wouldn’t take my calls.” She said in her oh-so-perfect voice. Of course even her voice was beautiful.

As she spoke, pieces of the puzzle in my head began to fit together. That was who had been calling his phone—it was never a telemarketer. She was the reason he was so distracted that day I was trying to talk to him. How often had they been talking? How did she know where to find him? Did he want her to be here? Did he ask her to come out here so I could see that he had someone else waiting for him? Suddenly my sandwich wasn’t sitting so well in my stomach.

“Don’t pull this shit now Val. I text you and told you that I had moved here to work things out with Emilyn. You have no business being here. You and I are over!” I’d never seen him so angry.

As if she hadn’t even noticed me sitting with Finn at the table, she turned her gray-blue eyes in my direction. She was assessing me, making me feeling like I was a tiny little organism under a microscope. Her lip curled up in a sneer as she looked even further down my body and saw my stomach.

“Is this why you moved out here? Did you get her pregnant? Finley, I know you are a traditional man but we can work this out. Just because she’s knocked up doesn’t mean we can’t be together anymore. I still want you, baby.”

I was shocked at her words. She thought that Finn was the one that got me pregnant? What had he told this woman? Unable to take anymore of her scrutiny, I chimed in.

“Hi.” I stood slowly and held my hand out for her to shake. “I’m Emilyn.” I had to tilt my head back a bit as she stood almost a full head taller than I did. Nothing more intimidating that standing up to your boyfriend’s—or whatever he was—ex-lover and feeling small and insignificant.

She didn’t take my hand, so I let it drop back by my side. Alright so this was how we were going to play this.

“Val is it?” She narrowed her eyes at me, knowing I knew damn well what her name was. “I think Finn has told you exactly how he feels. He and I are together now, working out some stuff that isn’t any concern of yours. I realize you probably flew a long way to get here, and for that I’m sorry, but you’re not welcome here. I’ll gladly pay for your ticket back to California and for your car to the airport.”

Her overly fake boobs puffed up at me. “You little bitch, I don’t care if you’re pregnant. You talk to me like that again and I’ll throw your ass to the ground!”

As if emerging from a trance, Finn finally stood in between us and tried to break it up.

“I’d never hit a girl Valerie, but if you touch her, it’s going to get ugly.”

“How can you say that me Finley! I don’t understand. We lived together. We were going to get married. I love you! You can still come back home baby, we’ll work this all out. Please don’t do this to us.”

“Wait… you lived with her?” I stepped to Finn’s side looking up at him.

“It wasn’t like that Em. She would come and stay with me at my house, but we never actually lived together. Not like you and I do.”

“Were you going to marry her Finn?” Tears started to spring to my eyes.

“No, never!”

The fake bimbo jumped in. “Excuse me, but if we weren’t going to get married, then what was all that talk we had before you left for your little reunion? You made me feel like things were getting serious.”

“Cut the shit Val! You’re the one that brought up marriage. I told you that I had never had plans for us to ever be serious. My heart has always been with Em.”

“She,” she pointed her finger at me, “is the reason that you were never able to commit yourself to me. Well I’m here to take you back home. You’ve got her out of your system, and clearly there’s no comparison between me and her. She is just a plain Jane, Finley. Why would you want that for yourself? If this is about the baby, we can send her money. Please don’t let this baby thing stop your goals and making it to the top. We have so much together.”

Ouch, that one hurt. She was right, I could clearly see the difference between her and myself. I was nothing but a simple little girl whereas she was a blonde bombshell. Granted a bitchy one, but men liked the things Val had. Why was he even with me?

“I’m not the father Val. It isn’t about the f*cking baby!” Finn all but gritted through his teeth. He was trying to keep his voice down because people in the shop were starting to stare at us. “Em is so much more than you ever were Val. She isn’t fake, she cares about people. She is definitely not a plain Jane. She’s the most beautiful person on this earth. Don’t you get it? I tried to let you down easy, but you don’t seem to be taking no for an answer.”

“That’s because nobody tells me ‘no’ Finley.”

While the two of them faced off, I began having little twinges of pain that I’d never felt before and it was starting to make me nervous. This stress wasn’t good for me, or for my baby. I reached down to grab my purse and cell phone. I’d call Harper to come pick me up as soon as I got outside. I didn’t want to be in the middle of this. Even though Finn was saying words that I wanted to hear him say, he’d also lied to me. There were things about Valerie that he never told me about, such as them living together, and then not telling me that she’d called.

As I started to move away from the two of them and walk towards the door, Finn noticed me leaving.

“If you’re leaving Emilyn, I’m going with you.” He grabbed his coat.

Val grasped a hold of Finn’s arm and said, “We aren’t done talking. Let her go.”

“No.” He said.

“Finn, I need to leave. I don’t want to be a part of this, and I need some space and time to think about things.” Tears ran down my face.

“Don’t walk away from me again Tiny Girl. It’s you and me.” He removed Val’s arm from his own, and began walking towards me.

“I can’t do this Finn, not right now. I just need some time.” I opened the door, knowing full well that he was going to follow me.

“Em.” I heard him call as I started to practically sprint down the sidewalk.

He was behind me, calling my name. I just needed to get away from him. If he’d lied to me about this, what else had he lied to me about? Why hadn’t he just told me what was going on? It seemed like something so simple, something that we could have worked through—talked through—but he kept it from me. And then the way that he told Val that he wasn’t the father. He technically wasn’t, but over the past couple of weeks, how many late night conversations had we had that he told me he was going to be this baby’s father? That he wanted him or her to call him Dad. He said my baby deserved a father, and if West wouldn’t step up to the plate, then he’d assume that role. To hear him say that none of this was about ‘the f*cking baby’ was like a slap to the face… or a knife to my heart.

Feeling out of breath and nauseous, I started to slow. I hadn’t run very far but I could hear Finn shouting at me to stop. He was catching up. I was just turning to him to ask him to leave me alone when a sharp shooting pain went through my lower stomach. It hurt so bad that I doubled over in pain. It lasted two seconds and I started to stand back up straight, but another sharp pain hit me, worse than the first one. Oh god, my baby. Something was wrong. Feeling something wet I looked down at my jeans. I thought maybe my waters had broken but it was blood. There was bright red blood seeping down my jeans.

I screamed just as another spasm rocked my body. I could hear Finn shouting my name, and he caught me just before I hit the pavement.

“Emilyn!”

The pain was too much to bear. The last thing I registered was Finn shouting at passerby to call 911. Then everything went black.





Pacing and walking. It was all I could do at this point to not jump out of my skin. There was so much blood… blood that was still all over me. I hadn’t even washed my hands since setting foot in the emergency room. Emilyn had been back with the doctors for two hours so why in the hell hadn’t anyone been out to talk to me? Harper was sitting next to Kyler, gripping his hand like a lifeline while he rubbed her back and whispered in her ear. Richard and Tessa were in the next set of chairs, staring blankly ahead. Tears streamed down Tessa’s face. We were all here for Em. Looking at the four of them, I couldn’t help but think that at least they had each other. Richard and Tessa had each other to lean on and Ky would always be there for Harper. While I knew they would all be there for me, it was Em that I wanted. What would I do without her? I’d be a f*cking shell of a man if something happened to her. Jesus Christ there was just so much blood.

Scrubbing my hands down my face I looked up at the sound of the double doors opening. Dr. Monroe came out and walked towards us. He had a white mask hanging from around his neck as if he’d been in surgery. His face was blank and I couldn’t read a single emotion. Harper and Ky came and stood to my left, Richard and Tessa came and stood at my right. Dr. Monroe stopped in front of us and let out a long breath.

“How is she?” Richard asked, his voice cracking.

“She lost a lot of blood, so we had to give her a transfusion.”

“Is she going to be okay?” Harper asked anxiously.

“She’s suffered a trauma, but she should recover from this just fine.”

I continued to watch him, reading his face with every word he said. He proceeded to tell us what he’d had to do to stop her bleeding, but I could tell he still hadn’t given us the news that we were all too scared to ask. I didn’t want her parents to have to ask the question, so I did it for them.

“Dr. Monroe, what about the baby?”

He cleared his throat. “Emilyn had what is called a placental abruption. That means that the placenta was separated from her uterine wall, causing her to lose the amount of blood that she did.” He looked down and then back up to meet my eyes. “When something like that happens, there is nothing that we can do. Without the placenta being attached, the baby has no way to survive without the blood source.”

“What are you saying?” I knew, but I wanted him to say it.

“She lost the baby Finley.”

Tessa gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. Richard leaned in and held his wife as she wept in his arms. Grief was written all over his face. Harper stood straight, tears glistening in her eyes but her stance said she was angry. Kyler was motionless, unsure what to do. I didn’t know how to feel.

“Does she know?” I asked.

“No. She was given a general anesthetic so we could operate and remove any remaining tissue from the pregnancy and search her uterus for additional tears.”

“Oh god. I think I’m going to be sick.” Harper suddenly said.

Kyler led her to a waste basket in the corner of the waiting room.

“The good news is we were able to clear everything out. She will make a full recovery, and she shouldn’t have any problem getting pregnant again.” Dr Monroe sounded hopeful but I was barely registering his words.

Emilyn had lost the baby. We’d just been shopping to fill the nursery with baby furniture. All she wanted was to be a mother, and now she’d lost the one thing that gave her joy and helped her through this mess that Weston had created. And she didn’t even f*cking know.

“I know this might no help but sometimes knowing can help the grieving process. The baby… would you like to know the sex?”

“Yes.” Tessa sniffled and answered anxiously. “I want to know.”

Em didn’t want to know. She said that it was one of the many great surprises in life. Would it matter now? Maybe Dr. Monroe was right. He could tell us, and if she wanted to know, I’d tell her.

“It was a boy.”

Tessa broke down again, and this time Richard let out a strangled sob. A boy? Em felt so certain it was a girl. She would talk about the baby and refer to it as a girl all the time. This was a shock. Now that I knew, I wasn’t so sure I wanted to anymore. I ran my hands through my hair, yanking on the ends. I felt numb. Any pain was good at this point. I needed to feel something.

“Can we see her?” I asked.

“Of course. She’s resting right now but she should wake up soon. I can only allow two of you at a time since she’s in the ICU. I’ll be around the hospital for the rest of the evening if you have any questions, or if Emilyn needs anything.” Dr. Monroe nodded his head and started to walk away.

“Dr. Monroe?” I stopped him, and he turned to face me. I guided him out of hearing range of everyone else.

“Is there any explanation for why this happened?” I paused. “Like too much stress?”

“Honestly Finley, it could have been a number of things. But the likelihood that it was stress that caused this is slim. It was just something that wasn’t meant to be. That’ll be hard for her accept I know. Just make sure she gets plenty of rest, okay?” He put his hand on my shoulder, before turning to walk back through the double doors.

I decided to let everyone else see her before I did. I needed a few moments to collect myself. I didn’t know if she would be awake when I went in the room and part of me was hoping that she would wake before it was my turn, just so someone else could break the news to her. That was such a p-ssy thing to think. I should be the one to tell her. She was mine and I loved her. Why had I let her leave the sandwich shop? Why had I even let Val talk to Em? Who the f*ck just shows up after I made it abundantly clear I didn’t want to be with them? She was certifiably crazy. Val had followed me out of the shop when I’d chased after my Tiny Girl. She caught up to me when I was on the ground holding a bleeding out Em. She panicked and said she should have never come. I’m not sure if it was the look on my face or the fact that I was screaming at her to leave me the f*ck alone, but she turned away with tears in her eyes and left. I’d never spoken to a woman that way, but give me a break, I’d been holding the love of my life in my arms thinking she was dying.

I felt blame engulf me. Everything that had happened was a result of my actions. I was so f*cking stupid. I should never have hidden anything from her. I thought I could deal with it on my own, and I didn’t want to give her a reason to doubt me. I had no idea what I would do, or how I would even begin to fix this, but I knew I needed her. I needed Emilyn like I needed air to breathe. I could never walk away from her again, and I was certainly never going to let her walk away from me again.

Emilyn’s parents had been in to see her and they’d both returned with red, swollen eyes. They said she was sleeping soundly. They were going to head home since there wasn’t much they could do. They knew she wouldn’t be alone since I’d made it clear that I wouldn’t be leaving anytime soon. Harper and Ky went in next and came out about thirty minutes later. Harper hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek.

“She’s still asleep. Other than being a little pale, she looks normal.” I hadn’t asked but I think she was just trying to reassure me before I went in the room.

“Come on babe. I’ll take you home.” Ky said to Harper. She let go of me and turned and tucked herself into Kyler’s side. They both walked out the door leaving me to go in alone.

I stood outside her door. My hands shook as I pushed it open and made my way inside. Em was lying on the bed with an IV running out of her arm. I’d expected to see tubes coming out of her, but there weren’t any. She lay there peacefully; her eyes closed. I walked over to her bed and sat down in the chair by her head. Leaning in, I kissed her cool skin. There in the quiet room, with only the subtle sound of a beep recording her pulse, I finally cried. I picked up her hand, holding it to my mouth and I openly wept. I knew she was going to be devastated when she woke. I was so scared to tell her that her son was gone.

I whispered softly over and over again, “I love you Em. You’re my Tiny Girl. Everything will be okay. As long as we are together, everything will be fine.”