Ever Enough

Emilyn was all I could think about on the flight back home. She’d always been a very quiet girl. Sitting there on the plane I let my mind wander back to our first kiss...



School had just gotten out and Emilyn had gone to watch Harper practice on the softball field. She was so beautiful leaning up against the chain-linked fence, both of her arms resting on top and her chin on her forearm. That long blonde hair that I loved touching—even when she didn’t know I was touching it—was blowing slightly in the wind. She looked like an angel; an angel that didn’t even know the effect she had on me. I thought of this girl every waking minute of the day. Em had become my whole world and we’d only been together for a month.

She must have heard me approach because she turned her head a bit and looked at me out of the corner of her eye. The corner of her mouth tipped up before she turned back to watch Harper. I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her small waist. She was so small. I loved that about her. She dropped her arms down to rest on top of mine and she leaned into me. She let out a soft, contented sigh and she looked up at me grinning. Her dazzling white smile always blew me away. I’d never let anything hurt this girl.

“Well hello there my beautiful Tiny Girl. Want to go for a walk with me?”

“Where do you have in mind?” Her voice was playful.

I tapped the tip of her nose with my finger. “I just thinking of going around the campus, not too far.”

“Sure!” She turned in my arms and I grasped her hand, lacing my fingers through hers. We walked past the bleachers and over to the football field. I loved being on this patch of green. Kyler and I ruled this field during games. We were both very good and I never felt more comfortable than when I was out here running with a ball. But being out there with Em was a different feeling. I was nervous and unsure. I knew why I’d asked her to come out here with me and I wouldn’t let myself chicken out. I knew I sounded like a chick feeling that way, but this girl made me feel like things I’d never felt before. I think I knew it the moment I first laid eyes on her. I walked her to the fifty yard line and pulled her to a stop.

She looked up at me with her innocent sparkling blue eyes, questioning why we weren’t walking anymore. I kissed the top of her head and just looked at her. She giggled at me. “What’s going on Finn, I thought we were going for a walk?”

“God you’re beautiful. Do you even know how beautiful you are?” Shit I’d turned into a sap.

Her cheeks turned a light pink and she looked down—always the shy girl. I put my finger under her chin and tilted her face up to mine. “Take the compliment Em. I don’t lie. I’ve never seen anyone as beautiful as you. I have a confession. I brought you out here for a reason.”

“Okay, what’s going on?”

I wasn’t sure how to say what I wanted to say to her without sounding like I’d lost my testicles. I’d never said anything like this to a girl before, and I didn’t want to scare her away. I cupped her face in both of my hands, forcing her to look at me.

“I know we haven’t been together very long Em, but I’ve never felt like this before. You make me… feel things that are new to me and I don’t really know how to tell you about it without just coming out with it.” My pulse was racing.

She put her hands up on my chest, and I had no doubt she could feel my heart pounding. I loved this Tiny Girl with every fiber in my body and I needed to tell her. It was one of the reasons I’d brought her out here, to this spot. This spot is where we met with the other team, where we tossed a coin and decided who got the ball. It felt metaphoric, like I was the one tossing a coin and she could either take the ball and run with it, or she could hand the ball back and tell me to f*ck off. It was now or never.

“I love you Em. Like really love you! At least I think that’s what I’m feeling.” She was giving nothing away in her face, so I had no idea if what I’d just said meant anything to her. I needed to tell her everything. “I’ve never felt this way about a girl. And I think I’ve known I loved you even from the first time I saw you. It’s just… different with you Em. The way you look at me with those bright blue eyes, the way your hair falls over your shoulder and I just want to run my fingers through it, the way you laugh draws me to you. You’re so innocent and sweet to everyone around you. I love that about you. I love that you’ve asked me to wait to have sex—how we’ve gone this entire time and you haven’t even let me kiss you. It’s all just… different! Every girl that I’ve ever gone out with expected me to be with them. They were all fake Em, all of them. But you’re so real with everything you do. I need you to know how I am feeling about you. I’m not saying all of this to pressure you into….” She put her small hand up to cover my mouth.

“I know you’re not telling me this to pressure me Finn.” It was then that she finally smiled at me. “I love you too. You are so sweet to me. I couldn’t understand why you chose me. I’m just me. I’ve never felt special. I always thought of myself as a plain girl until you came along and made me feel special. I’ve seen the girls you’ve dated Finn, and I’ve always thought I was just average next to them. I hear what they all say about me being with you, so it can be hard to understand why someone like you would want to be with someone like me.” Tears glistened in her eyes. I couldn’t believe she thought she didn’t deserve me! And what the hell were other people saying to her?

“Shhh baby… don’t cry.” My hands were still holding her small delicate face. I used my thumb to swipe across her face when a tear fell down her cheek. “Who is saying these things to you? I swear to god I’ll beat their ass!”

“No, don’t be mad at them Finn. They weren’t telling me things that I didn’t already know.”

This was not how I’d seen this conversation going. I just told her that I loved her and she said she loved me too, but the euphoric feeling was short lived after hearing what she thought of herself, and that others were only confirming it. They were so wrong, and I’d tell her that every day for the rest of my life if I had too. “They don’t f*cking know anything Emilyn. Is it guys or girls telling you this? Because the guys on the team all think I’m one lucky bastard.”

“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.”

I let out a frustrated growl. “I’m not blowing smoke here Em. You’re not seeing yourself right and I don’t get it. There’s no way it’s a guy telling you this. They all think you’re hot, so I’m assuming it has to be one of the girls. Who was it? I want you to tell me right now. Nobody is going to talk to my girl like that.”

“It was Aubrey and her cheerleader friends. But it’s fine honestly, I know why they said it. I get that I’m different for you. I don’t look like them, I haven’t put out. We haven’t even kissed for heaven sakes, and all because I’m still a nervous wreck around you.”

I should of f*cking known it would have been Aubrey and her little minions. She was going to know by the end of the day that I wouldn’t tolerate her telling Emilyn all this crap. I let go of her and began pacing. Em was standing still with her hands clasped in front of her and she was looking down, biting her lip.

“I didn’t mean to make you mad, or ruin this moment Finn. I’m sorry. I guess I should go.” She started to turn to walk away. Where in the hell was she going? I wasn’t mad at her. Oh f*ck it! I was going for it.

I caught up to her and grabbed her elbow to stop her. I swung her around, cupped her chin with my hand and bent down to her face. I paused just before putting my lips on hers. I looked right in her eyes. I could read her so easily. She was scared and nervous. Nervous because we’d never kissed before, but it was definitely going to happen now. I was tired of waiting. I’d been dying to kiss this girl since the first day I plucked up the courage to speak to her. I needed to show her that she was safe with me.

She didn’t pull away so I guessed she was giving me the go ahead. She closed her eyes, waiting for me to close the distance between us. I wanted to surge forward and kiss her hard and rough—to taste every part of her mouth—but she deserved more from me. She deserved to be treasured and loved. I’d be gentle with her. I leaned in and placed my lips on hers. I held them there for a few seconds before I pushed a little harder and opened my mouth a bit, in a silent request for her to open her mouth for me. I ran my tongue ever so slightly across her bottom lip. Her lip gloss tasted like cotton candy. When she opened her mouth a little bit, her tongue slipped past my lips and touched inside my mouth. It was subtle but I loved it. I opened my mouth more and she followed my lead. When our tongues started moving, she let out a little moan and weaved her hands into my hair, bringing her body flush with mine. There was no way she couldn’t feel my hard on between us. Hopefully it wouldn’t scare her away. I wasn’t pressuring her for more, because right now this was all I wanted from her. And if this was all she would give me for the rest of my life, well then I’d just deal with the blue balls I’d get from it.

The kiss was so much more than I had expected it to be. I’d had a feeling she’d never kissed another guy, based on the fact that she had us wait a month before doing it. But the way she kissed me, it was as if she held the instruction manual to my body and controlled me with her sweet, delicate mouth. Her tongue pushed back against mine, roaming every part of my mouth. She started to pull away, and I wanted to protest but she apparently wasn’t done. She sucked my lower lip into her mouth and bit down very lightly. I could tell it was something she had wanted to do, but was testing to see if I was okay with it. F*ck… I was more than okay with it. I groaned into her mouth, putting my left hand down on her lower back just above the curve of her ass, and my right hand moved to grasp the nape of her neck. We couldn’t get any closer if we tried. I don’t know how I was going to refrain from wanting more with this girl, but I would… somehow.

As much as it was clear that we both wanted to keep doing what we were doing, I needed to slow it down. It was going to be too easy to get carried away with her. I began to pull away from her, kissing her incredibly soft lower lip, once… twice… three times. I pulled back and kissed her nose, loosening my grip on her neck. When she opened her eyes, they were wild with want and lust. It just about did me in. If the time came that she’d want more from me, I’d never be able to tell her no. Not with the way she was looking at me right now. We were both breathing heavily.

“I’m sorry my Tiny Girl. I didn’t mean to push you, but I’ve been dying to touch this mouth of yours.” I ran my thumb across her now swollen lips.

Even after the kiss we just shared, she still blushed. “I’m glad you did. I’m hoping it won’t be too long until we can do it again.” She smiled at me and I was putty.

I smiled at her and the words needed to be said again. “I love you Em. I don’t care what anybody else says. As long as you know that I mean what I’m saying, nothing anybody else says to you matters. Do you understand? I love you and that’s all there is to it.” I leaned down and gave her the softest kiss I could and we turned to walk back to the softball field. I was flying high.





By the time I got off the plane and gathered my luggage, I was even more anxious to see Em. Time was going by too slowly and I’d worked myself up so much that I planned on giving Kyler a good beating for not just telling me everything. I was just getting into Mountain Home when I called Ky and asked where I could find Emilyn. He said she was working at Beans, the coffee shop that sat in the middle of town. I didn’t understand why she was even working when West made millions. She was bound to see some of that money with the divorce. Beans only paid minimum wage and she could surely get a job working at her Dad’s office making twice what I was certain she was making now. Hell, she didn’t even need to work at all. There was definitely something more going on here, and I was only a few minutes away from finding out what it was.

Finding a parking spot down the road, I stopped the car and got out, making my way down to the coffee shop. As I approached, I could smell coffee in the air. I was almost directly across the street from the store when I saw her. Her back was to me and she was wiping down the tables that were outside under large umbrellas to shade people from the sun. She had her hair up in a messy pony tail, and a few loose strands hung down, gracing her neck.

I stopped on the other side of the street and watched her. And it was at that moment that she paused what she was doing. I didn’t know if she had sensed me but she slowly turned in my direction. My breath caught in my throat, and I knew what I had seen but my brain refused to process it. My eyes roamed down her body until it rested on her very pregnant stomach. My heart stuttered in my chest. When I looked back up to her face, I saw the tears shimmering in her eyes. That snapped me out of my shocked trance and my protective instinct kicked in. I would help her. Now that I could see what was going on, I would do whatever I could to make it okay again.

I took a few long strides to cross the street, desperate to get to her. When I reached her there was no hesitation, she just collapsed into my arms and let me hold her while she wept.

“Shhh baby, I know. It’s okay Em. Everything is going to be okay now.” I knew at that moment I could never leave this girl again. She cried harder at my words, and I could do nothing but let her.





I’d worked for three hours and had been on my feet the whole time. I hadn’t been sleeping very well because I had to get up and pee every couple of hours. My growing belly—even though still relatively small—no longer allowed for me to lie on my stomach, which of course was my favorite and most comfortable way to sleep. I was almost five months along and I knew I was going to get bigger and would more than likely lose even more sleep. I couldn’t quit my job, but I also didn’t think I would be able to continue the same six hour days that I had been pulling. I knew I would have to talk to Rose after my shift and see about cutting my shift by an hour. I was sure she wouldn’t mind, but I really hated putting the added stress on her to find someone to cover my time.

I’d just rung up the last customer from our morning rush when I grabbed a rag and went outside to wipe down the tables. It was a gorgeous sunny day and I wanted to take a few minutes to soak up some rays. I always felt revitalized after a few minutes in the sunshine, and I was then able to make it through the rest of my shift. The music from inside was playing through our outdoor speakers. It was Simple Plan’s ‘Untitled’ and it made me feel melancholy. I decided I’d change the music as soon as I finished clearing outside. I definitely needed a more upbeat soundtrack. Picking up all the empty cups and throwing them away, I went over to a table closest to the road. I began to wipe down the table when I froze. The tingling sensation that had begun on the back of my neck moved its way down my arms and before I’d even turned around, I felt him. I’d always been able to feel him. I knew then that his eyes were on me, waiting for me to turn around.

I wouldn’t be able to hide this from him. I was wearing a light pink ribbed tank top that formed around my stomach. Instead of panicking, I felt deflated and tired. I was tired of hiding from everyone, especially Finn. Slowly turning towards the man I knew was stood behind me, I lifted my eyes to meet his. His face was unreadable as he looked me over. When his eyes landed on my belly, I lost it. Feeling weary, broken, and defeated tears pricked my eyes. He was here. Finn had come for me. He blinked once and his blue eyes were soft and understanding. He now knew why I had avoided him for so long. Unable to hold back my emotions, a tear rolled down my cheek and my shoulders started to shake. At this, his face changed and he strode towards me from across the street. I couldn’t fight him any longer. I wanted him to hold me. I needed him to tell me I was going to be okay, that I’d survive this.

When he got to me he wrapped his arms around me and I could no longer support my weight. He held me up, speaking gently to me. I heard him but all I could concentrate on was how it felt to be held in his arms again. Why had I pushed him away for so long? Was I really so full of pride that I couldn’t even accept Finn’s help? I knew the answer to that, the moment I started to pull away.

Wiping my eyes and sniffling, I wiggled lose of his arms. “I’m sorry about that Finn. I shouldn’t have fallen apart like that.”

“It’s okay Em. I think from the looks of things you needed someone to lean on.” He leaned on one leg, his hip resting against the table. His wide, muscular chest amplified by his crossed arms.

Clearing my throat, I asked “Not to be rude, but what are you doing here?” Jesus he was sexy. I may have been keeping him at arms length but I wasn’t blind. This man drew me to him.

“Kyler called me. He told me that I needed to be here, so here I am.”

“Bastard” I whispered under my breath. Finn chuckled.

“Name calling isn’t going to change the fact that you were clearly ignoring me for a reason, and Ky was just trying to help you. Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant Em?”

“Why would I? This isn’t your problem.” He winced and I knew my comment had hit him below the belt.

“I know this isn’t my problem, but it also doesn’t have to be your burden to carry alone. I’m your friend Emilyn. You know I would have been here from the moment you found out.”

I couldn’t have this conversation looking him in the eye, so I continued tidying up outside while he followed behind me. “That’s exactly why I didn’t tell you Finn. There’s nothing for you to do. I’m having a baby, and I’m in the middle of a divorce. Exactly what part of that could you have helped me with?” I was being a bitch to him and I knew it, but my need to push him away was far greater than my need to keep him around.

“Hmmm… speaking of divorces, does West know? About the baby I mean?”

“Of course he knows. I wouldn’t keep something like this from him!”

My anger was evident and he paused, holding his hands up in defeat. “I didn’t mean to insult you, I was just asking. Were you pregnant at the reunion?”

I shook my head no. “I was but I didn’t know it yet.”

“How did West take the news?”

I let out a short, bitter laugh, “He took it about as well as could be expected I guess.”

He was confused. “What does that mean?”

“It means he took it as well as any man who has been having an affair with his interior decorator for the past two years would. The same man who claimed he never loved me, and never wanted kids with me.”

Finn’s brow furrowed and his mouth had set in a straight line. “Is that what he said to you?”

“In not so many words, yes. He made it abundantly clear that this baby wasn’t wanted and he thought I’d got pregnant on purpose to get more money out of him.” I felt the need to explain further. “I was on the pill and I took it religiously. Apparently it’s not always effective.”

The weight of Finn’s eyes on me was too much. I shook myself from his stare and moved to go back inside the store. “Wait. When do you get off work? In fact, why are you even working? You’re still married to West and I’m certain there isn’t a judge alive that wouldn’t ensure that you have what you need to take care of yourself and the baby.”

My hand was on the handle of the door. “I have to work so I can support myself. Obviously I won’t be working here forever, but I need to stand on my own two feet. I can’t stomach the idea of using the money from the divorce settlement.”

“Why?” He asked.

I sighed. “Because that money was all a lie Finn. West never loved me, he was just using me. I was his trophy wife, someone he used to move up the corporate ladder. If he showed the partners at the firm that he was a family man, they had more incentive to hire him and make him junior partner. Do you get it now? My whole marriage was a sham! And now I’m having a kid that was created by that lie. To me, that money is bullshit and I don’t want it, at least not for me. I’ll put it away for the baby, for when he or she gets older. So you see… I’m trying to stand on my own. I need this job.”

“You can prove that you can stand on your own without working here Em. Listen, I know you have to get back to work, but let me come and see you tonight. I’d like to talk to you about some things.” His eyes were begging for me to say yes. I wanted to tell him no, and tell him to go back to California, but I caved.

“Stop by Harpers house at six. We can talk over dinner.” Relief flooded his face.

“I’ll be there.” He walked backwards smiling at me. He watched me as I went back inside the shop, before turning to walk across the street. Finn coming over was not a good idea! I’d be a good friend and listen to what he had to say, but nothing more. Although admittedly I was silently praying I would have the strength to push him away, instead of dragging him to my room.





I had rosemary and lemon roasted chicken in the oven and vegetables all ready to go. I already knew Harper would be late tonight because she said she was showing Ky some houses in a new subdivision across town. I had a feeling Kyler was keeping her away tonight so Finn could talk to me alone. I didn’t think I’d ever felt so nervous. I checked my hair in the mirror over a dozen times, and changed my outfit three times before finally deciding I was being ridiculous. I settled on a pair of capri stretch pants and a dark blue baby doll top. It didn’t over emphasize my stomach and the fabric bunched around my breasts, putting them on display. Okay, so I may have put some thought into my top. Finn had always liked my boobs and I’ll admit I wanted him to notice the fact that the ‘girls’ had become fuller during the pregnancy. I had my hair braided over the side of one shoulder and some lose strands had fallen out, framing my face. I had washed off all of my make-up earlier and so I just dabbed on some clear lip gloss. I wanted to appear refreshed and in control.

I’d set up plates at the eat-in breakfast table in the kitchen. Eating in the dining room implied formality, and nothing about this get together was formal. I wanted to remain as relaxed as I could. I was already a ball of nerves just thinking about being alone with Finn again. I took the chicken out of the oven and had set it on top of the stove to rest when the doorbell rang. My heart jumped into my throat and I reminded myself to take deep breaths. I had everything under control. I smoothed my top down before opening the door. Finn stood in front of me in a long-sleeved, gray, v-neck thermal shirt. Against the gray, his eyes were a piercing blue. Bastard. He had to know how good he looked right now. His long lean legs were covered by a pair of worn, dark-wash jeans. I gulped hard. I had no idea how I was going to manage to keep my hands to myself. Shaking myself free of my idiotic staring, I noticed he was eyeing me up in the same way. Ha. Take that Finley Morgan!

“Hey, come on in. I’m about to carve the chicken I made for dinner.” I turned away from him to walk to towards the kitchen.

“Thanks for letting me come over Em.” I heard him breathe in deeply behind me. “That smells amazing. Did you cook?”

He’d followed me into the kitchen. “Yes, I did. I cook every night for Harper and me.” I grabbed a carving knife out of the draw and was about to cut into the chicken, when I felt Finn step up behind me. He placed his large hand over mine, taking control of the knife.

“Here, let me help with this.” I desperately tried not to shiver, but it couldn’t be helped. There was no way he hadn’t noticed because he was less than an inch away from my body.

Clearing my throat, I stepped to the side and let him carve. “Umm… what would you like to drink? We have water, soda, wine, and I think we have beer too.” I needed to move away from him because his smell was intoxicating. He wasn’t wearing cologne but I could smell his aftershave. It was a smell that was strictly masculine. Jesus, I think my hormones were making my sense of smell stronger.

He paused what he was doing to turn and look at me. “I’ll take a beer.” He gave a small smile and turned back to keep cutting.

I stood by the fridge with the door open, letting the cool air help relax my thrumming pulse. I watched his forearms flex with each move. F*ck me, I was not going to make it through this dinner! I needed to distract myself. Talk to him Emilyn! Yes, talking is good.

“So how’ve you been the past couple of months?”

“Hmmm…?” I thought I’d spoken loud enough for him to hear me, but when I turned around and stood back up, I noticed Finn had been staring at me while I’d been bent over getting his beer. Yeah, this was going to be a long night. “Oh, umm… it’s been good.” He turned back to cutting. “Been keeping busy. Ky and I just scored another contract. The music label wants us to try to write for this new up-and-coming artist but he’s just a kid, and personally I think our stuff sounds too old for him.”

I laughed. “Hey now, your stuff doesn’t sound old.”

“You’ve heard our music?” He walked to the table to join me, bringing the food with him.

“Of course I have. You guys have a lot of stuff out there. It’s hard not to hear it.”

“What do you think of it?”

I stopped to take a bite of the chicken before answering. “You and Kyler are very talented Finn. I’ll confess, I’ve looked up and listened to everything you two have written. Sometimes I don’t care for how the artists sing some of the lyrics, but it’s still good stuff.” I smiled across the table at him.

“So you’ve looked me up.” He raised his eye brow and smirked at me.

My smile widened and I looked down. “Yeah, I suppose I have.”

It got quiet. When I looked back up at him, he was watching me from across the table. His face was so serious; a direct contrast to the playful smile he’d just given me. I was confused. “What? Do I have food in my teeth?” I covered my mouth with my napkin.

“No Em, you don’t have food in your teeth.” He put his fork down and sat back, and I sensed the conversation was about to turn serious. “Why did you avoid me for so long?”

I was confused because I’d already told him why. Hell, he could see why. “You know why Finn. I didn’t want to bother you about this and I was trying to deal with things on my own.”

“I know what you told me, but that doesn’t answer why you avoided me after the reunion.”

Okay, now we were walking into uncomfortable ground. “I wasn’t avoiding you I just didn’t think there was anything to talk about.”

“You’re lying.” He was right. “I can always tell when you’re lying to me Emilyn. You never look me in the eyes and you start wringing your hands. So what’s the real reason?”

I made an effort to stop my fidgeting. “It honestly doesn’t matter. Is this what you came here to talk to me about?”

“I’m here to tell you several things and to be your friend. But friends are honest with each other, they don’t beat around the bush.” I didn’t think he could look more intense, but he did when he leaned forward putting his elbows on the table. “Why wouldn’t you take my calls?”

I got up from the table with my plate, unable to stand his gaze. “I told you, there was nothing to talk about.”

As I passed him, he grabbed my arm. “There was plenty to talk about. That kiss for starters.” He set his napkin down and stood up right in front of me. Taking my plate out of my hands and placed it back on the table. “No more walking away from me Emilyn. Sit down and eat. You have that baby you need to feed and you need to stay healthy.”

“Since when did you get so bossy?”

“Since I got tired of you running away from me.”

“I’m not run…”

“Sit down Emilyn, I’m not asking again.” He was more forceful in the way he spoke.

I moved back to my side of the table. “Your way of asking sounds more like a command.”

He shrugged his shoulders and it pissed me off. “Now are you going to make me repeat myself or are you going to answer the question? Truthfully this time? I have all night.”

“I’m married Finley… or was… or am…” I shook my head, “F*ck, I don’t know okay? I liked the kiss. Is that what you wanted to hear? I couldn’t talk to you about it because I liked it and it made me feel things I hadn’t felt in a long time!” I glared at him.

“Good. Now was that so hard?” He was smiling and I wanted to hit him.

“Are you here to torture me?” His smile turned angry.

“Not here to torture you Em, I’m here to help you.”

“And I’ve told you I don’t need help. I’ve got everything under control.”

“Is that why you look like you’re about to cry?”

“F*ck you Finley! Get out!” I shouted. I got up from the table and left the kitchen. I hurried down the hall to my room, knowing he was going to follow me. I shut the door and locked it. A second later he was at my door twisting the knob.

“Open the door Em. We aren’t done talking.”

“If you think that was talking then you’re delusional. Now get out!”

“I’m not delusional I think we were finally getting to the honest part of our conversation. Now you either open this door, or I will take the damn thing off the hinges.”

“You wouldn’t!” Was he crazy?

“Don’t tempt me Tiny Girl. You are done walking away from me. Make this easy on yourself.”

I unlocked the door and yanked it open to find him standing in the doorway, his arms braced against the frame. I shouted, “You are the biggest a*shole I’ve ever known!”

He was breathing heavily. Dropping his arms, he moved towards me, causing me to back into my room. “You done locking me out?”

“I don’t know. Are you done being a jerk?”

He let out a frustrated growl and put his hands on his hips.

Looking up at him I said, “Did you just growl at me?”

“No. I didn’t growl.”

“Yes you did.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes. You. Did.”

“No I… Jesus! Why are we arguing about this? Stop changing the subject.”

“I’m not changing the subject.” Okay, I might have been changing the subject.

“Enough Emilyn! We are going to have an adult conversation, and you’re going to give me some honest answers.”

“You have an awful lot of faith in that statement.” I was goading him and he knew it.

“Cut the shit. Tell me what your plans are.”

“Not that it’s any of your business…” He raised a brow at me, daring me to push him. “But I’m going to keep working at Beans until the baby is born. I’m saving as much as I can and Harper and I are turning the spare bedroom into a nursery. I plan on going back to school when the baby is a couple months old and my Mom has offered to help out so I don’t have to put her in daycare. There, does that answer your question?”

“For now. What about West, where is he during all of this?” He moved to sit on the bed. He was so tall that when he was sitting, we were eye level.

“West is out of the picture. I don’t actually know what he’s going to do about us having a baby. I am concerned he’ll try to take her away from me just to hurt me, but then again Julia won’t want anything that’s mine in her house. So who knows?” That was an honest answer and it left me feeling drained.

“If he so much as tries to take the baby from you, I’ll break his neck. You don’t need to worry about that.” He had so much conviction in his voice. But his face looked perplexed about something else.

“What?”

“Why do you keep referring to the baby as a her? Do you know you’re having a girl already?” His eyes softened as he glanced at my midsection.

“No, it’s just a feeling. Funny, West asked me the same question.”

“Don’t compare me to him.” Hurt resonated in his words.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I swear I wasn’t, it’s just that he asked me the same question. I wasn’t comparing Finn. Trust me, you’re nothing like him!”

He sighed, reaching out and grabbing a hold of my hand. There was such warmth in his touch, and as nervous as he made me feel, I also felt at ease. “Please, sit down.”

I did, and he dropped a bomb on me. “I want you to move in to my house, Em.”

“What? I can’t move to California.”

“No, I know, and I’d never ask you to. Kyler is signing papers as we speak for a four bedroom house that I’m buying.”

“Wait… you’re buying a house here? But you live in California.”

“Yes, and I still do. I’m buying a place here so I’m not always staying at Ky’s parent’s house. I’d like to have my own space, and I want you in it. I won’t be able to leave the house unattended for however long I’d be gone. So during those periods it would be nice if someone was there to keep it up.”

“You’re crazy! I can’t just move in with you. Finn, we just started speaking again.”

“It might be crazy but, it’ll be a good thing. Don’t you want somewhere for just you and the baby? ” He placed his palm on my cheek. “Think about it Em. I won’t always be around, but I’ll make sure you have everything you’ll possibly need. I’ll help you take care of you and the baby. Move in with me Tiny Girl.”

“This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen Finn. I didn’t want you to come rescue me and play white knight. I appreciate the gesture, I really do. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“I’m not white knighting you. I know Kyler told you I’ve been miserable. I miss you Em. I haven’t found another girl that makes me feel the way you do. I’m not saying this to make you feel uncomfortable or to scare you. I’m just putting it out there that I need to be around you. And now that I know what’s been going on here, I feel like you need me too. Just please, come live with me and we’ll figure everything out.” He looked so hopeful.

“I can’t just leave Harper though. And what about your job?”

“She already knows. I told her what I was doing when I looked at a few places with Ky.” I turned to face the bedroom door. “She wanted to argue and tell me it was a bad idea, but she also thinks it could help you gain some independence.” He paused. “Look, I know I’ve hurt you before but that’s not going to happen again. I’m not leaving. She took some convincing but Harper agrees with me. As far as the job goes, I can work from anywhere. That’s the beauty about writing music.”

I smiled and shook my head. “You must have really sweet talked her.”

Glancing at him out of the corner of my eye, he was grinning. “Yeah something like that. I also know that she’d have my balls in a vice if I f*ck this up.”

I laughed. “She’s good to me like that.”

“Before this happens though, I feel like I need to explain something to you. It’s something that I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time but I wasn’t sure how it was going to come out.” The discomfort in his voice was worrying.

I squirmed a bit with his tone. “Okay, I’m listening.”

“It’s about when I left that night. I want you to know why I left. I never told you, and I feel like you deserve to know.”

I swallowed the lump that had suddenly formed in my throat. “I don’t need an explanation Finn. What happened is in the past, so let’s leave it there. Please?”

“That’s the thing Em, it isn’t in the past for me. I’ve thought so much about it over the past ten years. I’ve wanted nothing more than an opportunity to tell you what made me walk away, even if it ended up being the biggest mistake of my life. I don’t want to hurt you by dredging this up, but if we are going to live together part-time, this side of us—what happened between us—needs to be aired out.”

I sighed and looked down. Just thinking about that night made my stomach churn. Hearing from Finley why he actually left, was something I’d always wanted. I was about to get my answers but, I was terrified I wouldn’t be able to hear it. The moment I’d waited for was finally here, and now I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. But I could see in his face that he needed to get this off his chest and so I was going to let him. I would endure the pain that could come from this talk. I’d do it for him.

“A couple nights before graduation, I overheard you and Harper talking in the hallway.” He paused then continued again. “You were telling Harper that you thought I was ‘the one’. That you had no doubt that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together…” He paused for what felt like a lifetime. “I panicked.”

I met his eyes, “That’s why you left? Because you panicked because I said you were ‘the one’ in high school?”

“No. Well, yes. But it’s not in the way you’re thinking. I loved you Emilyn. I was just as sure of you as you were of me. I’d thought about our future together and I knew I wanted to be with you. But all that kept running through my mind was a conversation I’d had with my Dad before he died. Before the accident, he told me about a girl that he’d been in a serious relationship with. He said that he thought he wanted to be with her forever and he’d planned on proposing to her after they were done with college. A year into their relationship—and outside of high school—they started to become two different people. They no longer wanted the same things. Eventually, they broke it off. My Dad thought about that girl for a couple of years after they split and he decided that maybe time was all they’d needed. He found her again but found out she was married and had a kid. Not long after that, he met my Mom.”

“He made me promise that if I ever got in a serious relationship with a girl, I’d take a step back to see if I was still the same person without her as I was with her; that she was the one that I truly wanted. He didn’t want me to rush into something and not experience life, and he said I shouldn’t allow the girl I was with to not know life outside of high school and outside of me. I think he knew that when I fell in love with a girl, that it would be ‘it’ for me. I’d love her my whole life. He said I took after my mother like that.” He was smiling a sad smile, remembering his parents. He looked up and met my eyes, “So you see I heard what you said to Harper. I heard and I knew I needed to let you go live your life. I know you were ‘it’ for me—just like my Dad had predicted—but I needed to make sure I was ‘it’ for you too. I didn’t mean to hurt you the way that I did Em. I can’t apologize enough for how I left you that night. But I am sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

I was dumbfounded. His reason wasn’t at all what I’d expected. I thought he left because we were done with high school, because he wanted to move on to bigger and better things. I had no idea that it was because of a conversation he’d had with his Dad.

“Say something Em, please.”

“I’m not really sure what to say. I wish I would have known about that conversation with your Dad, Finn. I would have done everything to prove to you that you were what I wanted.” A traitorous tear rolled down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. “I just… I don’t know Finn.” I sighed heavily. I had so many questions, but none that I could ask right now.

“I blame myself you know.”

“Blame yourself for what?” Not sure what he was meaning.

He nodded towards my stomach. I looked down and then back up. “This?” I said pointing to my stomach. “You blame yourself for this?”

“Yes.”

“Why? You didn’t do this. Just because you left, doesn’t

mean this is your fault. You did what you felt you had to do.”

“Don’t make me out to be a martyr Emilyn. I’ve regretted what I did for long enough. If I’d known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have made the same mistake.”

I gave him a sympathetic smile, “None of us would Finn. That’s how we learn.”

“No, you don’t get it. I mean I wouldn’t have taken my Dad’s advice. He may have meant well—sharing his experience with me—but that was his life. It’s what happened to him. I had my own life to live, and our relationship was totally different than what he’d had. If I’d have just done what I wanted—what I knew in my heart was right—I know we would still be together.” He reached up and wiped my tears with his thumb.

“You can’t blame yourself for listening to your Dad. Anybody would have done it, especially after the accident. I believe in fate Finn… what happened was supposed to happen. What’s going on with me right now may not be ideal, but I have to believe that this is where I’m meant to be. Please don’t blame yourself, okay?” This was almost more than I could bear. My heart was breaking from all of the honesty. Part of me was relieved to finally know, but another part was astounded that he felt responsible for my lot in life. Nobody knew I was going to end up divorced and pregnant. It wasn’t ideal but I had accepted it.

“Not so sure about that, but for your sake I’ll say I won’t.” He gave me a wry smile.

Trying to ignore his irrational logic I asked, “So now what?”

“What do you mean now what? You move your stuff from here to the new house.”

“That simple, huh?”

“That simple! I already have Harper’s blessing, and I feel like we can finally start moving forward.”

“I’d have loved to have been a fly on the wall during your conversation, just to see her face.” I laughed, but I needed to change the conversation fast. I was too close to losing it in front of him and I didn’t need him to feel guilty about anything else.

He looked down and smiled nodding his head. His perfectly messy long hair fell in his face. The urge to reach out and touch it reminded me of another problem that more than certainly would arise.

“If we do this Finn, if I move in, things will have to remain strictly platonic. What happened between us a couple of months ago, can’t happen again. It will confuse things between us so we need to draw that line in the sand.”

“If that’s what you want, then I can do that.”

I sighed. “It’s what I need.”

“Are you saying yes?” He sounded like a kid asking his parents for a toy at the store.

“I’m saying yes.”

His grin was infectious. He stood up and waited for me to follow suit. When I was up next to him and I was feeling calmer, he said something that made me freeze in my tracks.

“Tiny Girl?”

“Hmmm…?” I looked at him expectantly.

“I’ll follow your rules and stay behind your line in the sand. But the moment you cross that line yourself, or you ask me for more, it’s game on.” He winked at me and walked away.

Jesus H. Christ.

I was f*cked.





It had been two weeks since my Tiny Girl said yes to moving in with me. I actually didn’t think she’d agree to this arrangement. I figured I’d have to argue with her and drag her kicking and screaming the whole way. I might have even anticipated tying her to a kitchen chair in my new house until she got used to the idea of living here. Not the best plan admittedly, but I was desperate. Thankfully she took minimal persuasion and now she was in the master bedroom across the hall. We fought more about what room she’d stay in than the actual moving in part. That first night here had been interesting…



“You want me to come right now?” She’d followed me out of her bedroom.

“Yes Tiny Girl, you’re coming with me tonight. That’s why we rushed with papers. I don’t see any reason for this to take any longer.” I was digging around in a hallway closet for a suitcase.

“But didn’t you just see the house today? Doesn’t it take like thirty days or something?” I stopped what I was doing and looked at her. She was so cute standing there with her hands on her hips.

“That’s what money can buy you. For the right price and cash incentives, the seller was more than happy to close today.”

“Cash incentives?”

“Yes, cash incentives. I offered well over the asking price if the seller would go through the trouble of closing the deal today.”

She looked confused. “How much money do you have Finn? That seems like an awful lot more than a songwriter should have.”

I smirked at her. “Now Em, that’s awfully nosey don’t you think?”

“Cocky bastard.” She said under her breath.

“Hmmm… what’s that?” I raised my eyebrow.

“Nothing.” She crossed her arms and it pushed her breasts up and showed even more cleavage than before. I swallowed audibly. I was going to need a cold shower tonight and a pep talk with ‘Little Finn’.

Handing her the suitcase I’d dug out, I told her to pack whatever she thought she’d need for tonight and tomorrow, and we’d come back later for the rest of her stuff. She walked away from me grumbling about me being a bossy a*shole. I chuckled. It must be the pregnancy hormones.

We drove to the other side of town and into a new subdivision. Besides the music playing on the radio, the car ride was pretty quiet. When I pulled up to the house, I parked and we sat for a moment while I let her take it all in. The house was a brand new ranch style home with a manicured lawn and landscaping around the front of the house. I’d wanted to look at the two-story places down the street, but Harper reamed me for being thoughtless. She said that it would be hard on Em and unsafe for her to be walking up and down stairs with a baby. She was right, so I put the two-story homes out of my mind and decided on this home.

“This is it, huh?” She was looking around at the front of the house.

“Yep.” I got out of the car and walked around to her side.

I reached for her hand and she willingly let me take it. We walked to the front door and before I opened it, I handed her a key and said “Welcome home.” I smiled down at her and she gave me a shy smile in return.

Walking inside I gave her a few minutes to wander around and take in her surroundings. She went from room to room taking inventory. When she walked back to me she said, “It’s very nice Finn.”

“Good, I’m glad you like it. We’ll have to go to the furniture store on your next day off and get this place furnished. Start thinking about how you want to decorate.”

“Me? It’s your house Finn. You decorate it however you’d like.”

“Em, this isn’t just my house. This is your house too. We both live here now, and I want you to be as comfortable as possible.”

“Do you know how long you are going to stick around before you head back to California?”

“At least until you’re settled, but we can worry about my schedule later.”

“You’re not going to make this easy, are you?” Her lips twitched, trying not to grin.

“Not when it comes to this, even if I have to remind you every day. We both live here, so get used to it. Besides, don’t you think this looks like the kind of house that needs a woman’s touch?” I stretched my arms out and glanced around.

“I suppose you’re right.” She put her hand over her mouth and stifled a yawn.

“You look tired. Why don’t you go ahead and sleep, we can talk about decorating in the morning.”

She nodded her head and turned to walk away but paused. “Wait. Which room should I take?”

My brows furrowed. “What do you mean which room? You’re taking the master.”

“Finn, I’m not taking the master. It’s too big for me, and you bought this house so it’s only right that you have the biggest room.”

She was so stubborn. “Em, I planned on you taking the master, and when the baby comes, there will be plenty of room for a cradle and whatever else a baby needs. I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“I’m still saving for a baby set, so I don’t need that much space right now. Really… the master is yours.” There go the hands on those narrow hips again.

I growled out a sigh. “Emilyn, I swear I will carry you down to that room and lock you in there. This isn’t up for discussion. I had a king sized bed delivered and set up in there just for you, in case you didn’t notice.”

Her eyes grew a bit wide. “What would you have said if I’d told you no?”

“No wasn’t an option and we’ll leave it at that.” I stared her down, daring her to say more.

We locked eyes for a long time before she finally relaxed her pose. Without a word, she turned on her heels and made her way down the hall. She called over her shoulder, “My bag is still in the car. Put it outside my door would you?”

I shook my head and chuckled. I liked her being demanding, and I knew that I’d gladly give her whatever she wanted…



It took some adjusting—on both our parts—to get used to being near each other again, but I felt like we were finally getting into a routine. We made small talk and asked questions. I made it known from the start that I wanted to be involved in her OB appointments and anything to do with the divorce. I realized that I was pushing for a lot, especially since we’d only just reconnected, but I couldn’t help it. I needed for her to know that she wasn’t alone anymore. She was still pretty tight-lipped about the talk we’d had the night I asked her to move in with me. I assumed she had questions to ask me about the night I left, but she hadn’t said anything yet. Her eyes had been so lost and hurt when I told her. I decided that I’d let her come to me when she was ready. It couldn’t have been easy being in her shoes. I dropped a bomb on her. I knew she had been hurt badly, and now because of my mistake, she was in this mess. I’m surprised she didn’t hate me. But she kept moving forward, refusing to look back. It was admirable, but I worried that everything was building somewhere inside; like a ticking time bomb. I knew there was a chance that someday she would explode and I would be the one to take the brunt of it. I’ll gladly take it too.

Being here with her has been more than I could have ever asked for. There had been more than several times when the physical tension between Em and I had sparked while we were still adjusting to our new routines. A few days ago Em and I went to the paint store to pick out wall colors for the nursery…



She couldn’t decide on a color so we brought home three different ones. It was good that we’d just taken samples because when she got home, she decided one looked like baby puke, and so that was ruled out. I’d gone to get some plastic from the garage to put down on the carpet before we started painting, but when I walked back in the room, Em had already painted two shades of yellow on the wall and was standing in front of them pondering.

“What’s the matter?” I said, squatting beside her as I lay out the plastic.

“Should we use ‘Lemon Twist’, or ‘Pineapple Cream’?” Her eyes were darting back and forth between the two shades.

“Are we talking about paint colors or dessert?”

She slapped my shoulder. “Finn, I’m being serious. That’s what they’re called.” She looked from my face back at the wall. “This one is a bit brighter and fun, while this one is pretty and calming.”

I chuckled. “Em it’s paint, not rocket science. They’re both yellow, and I’m sure the baby won’t care what color the walls are.”

I could see her rolling her eyes, which made me laugh a bit harder. “They’re not just paint colors. There’s a science behind it. Brighter colors attract a baby’s attention; it’s something they like to stare at. But softer colors are soothing.”

I stood close to her and heard her let out a small gasp. Lowering my eyes to hers, I put my hands on her shoulders. “How about you close your eyes and I spin you around and you point to one?” I was teasing, but my voice had grown huskier. She smelled like sweet fruit, and the paint that she’d already managed to get on her hands.

Her eyes glanced over to one of my hands, and she swallowed. “Not funny. Help me choose, please?” She said softly.

I watched her beautiful sweet face, obviously not just conflicted about paint colors.

“Okay Tiny Girl.” I sighed and turned her to stand in front of me. Her small frame pressed into the length of my body. There was no way she couldn’t feel I was aroused. “That one.” I pointed to, what I assumed was, Pineapple Cream. I moved my mouth down to her ear, “Soft and soothing seems to be the way to go.”

She shivered. “Finn…”

I knew she wanted me but the way she said my name… it was like she was pleading with me to stop whatever it was we were doing. I cleared my throat, “I’m going to go change into something I can get paint on.”

She nodded and I walked out of the room…





I was in one of the spare bedrooms that I’d set up for my music, and Kyler was strumming his guitar and pausing every few second to write down the notes. I was working on a new song when I heard the front door open and close. I got up and stretched when I saw Em standing at the door watching me. My shirt had ridden up and part of my stomach was showing. Her eyes were zeroed in on the exposed patch of skin and I gave her a sly grin when I dropped my arms and her eyes traveled back up to my face. She glared at me because I’d caught her.

“What’s up preggo?” Ky stopped playing his guitar and sat back on the black futon I’d bought for the room. Ky and I painted the walls red and black last week and set up pretty much everything we’d needed to use the room as a new studio.

She shifted her eyes from mine to look at him. “Not much, just got back from work. I’m about to change and go cook dinner. Are you sticking around?”

“Nah! I’ve got to go check in with my Dad and I thought maybe Harper could use a surprise visit.” His devilish grin made me laugh.

“Careful there buddy. Who knows what that woman will do when she’s surprised.” I poked at Ky.

“That’s the fun of it my man!” He started gathering his things.

Em was still standing in the doorway Ky beside her. He leaned down and kissed her cheek. If it had been anybody else I’d have broken his nose, but I knew he had a thing for Harper. “Tell your old man hey from me. Let him know I’ll stop by this week for a visit.”

“Will do!” He said and he left the house.

I stared at Em from across the room while she shifted from side to side. I was certain my watching her was making her uncomfortable but it couldn’t be helped; I loved looking at her. She was even more beautiful pregnant than I could have imagined. She literally glowed. Who would have thought I’d believe that load of shit about women glowing while pregnant?

“So ummm… I’m going to go make dinner. You want anything in particular?”

“I’m fine with whatever you want to make. Do I have time to go for a run?”

“Yeah, it’ll be about an hour.”

I nodded and she turned and walked away. Why on earth did she look so nervous? I’d had to calm my growing erection when I caught her looking at me. Was that why she looked like she was ready to run away? I was hers if she wanted me. All she had to do was make the first move.

I went to my room and changed into some jogging pants and a t-shirt. I thought about telling her bye, but I didn’t want to make her more uncomfortable. I’d felt some growing sexual tension in the house, but I was sure it had to all be in my head. Saying that, I’d taken more than a few cold showers since living with her. It was all I could do; besides hiding in my writing studio and scribbling out some nonsensical words about a horny guy pining after a pregnant girl. Incidentally, I really should burn those in case Em found them. She’d think I was some pervert. I scrubbed my hands down my face and took off out the front door sprinting. Exercise was good. This another one of the few outlets I had to tire myself out. Oh who was I f*cking kidding. I was a ball of sexual energy, and my Tiny Girl was the only one that could take care of it.

I ran four miles in record time, before returning to the house a sweaty mess. When I walked in the door I smelled seafood and something else wafting through the air. Taking off my shoes, I paused and listened when I thought I heard singing coming from the kitchen. I was going to go straight to the shower to clean up, but I needed to investigate the sound. When I rounded the corner I stopped dead in my tracks. Em was blasting her iPod on the surround sound and swaying her hips to the beat of the music. She was singing loudly with her back turned to me. What shocked me more than the beautiful sight before me was the music she was playing; it was mine. She was playing a Down Glory Road song that I’d written two years ago. I’d intended for it to be a slow love ballad, but the record company insisted it would sound better as an upbeat song and they’d been right. Em said she knew my work, but hearing her sing my lyrics and move her small body around the kitchen was the ultimate turn on. F*ck the four miles I’d just sweat through, I was energized and hard as a rock.

My fantasy was interrupted when Em turned around, saw me standing there watching her and screamed. “Jesus Finn! You scared the shit out of me!”

I had to stand on the other side of the island so she wouldn’t see my blatant erection. “Sorry Tiny Girl. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

She turned the music down. Her cheeks were blazing and it was the most adorable sight to see. “You weren’t kidding. You do know some of my songs.”

“Yeah, but this one is my favorite.” I smiled. What she didn’t know was that I’d written this song with her in mind. It was about making the biggest mistake of your life, and then doing everything you could to try and make things right.

Changing the subject I asked, “It smells amazing in here. Do I have time to shower before it’s ready?”

“Yeah you’ve got a few minutes.” She turned to stir some rice.

“You know you don’t have to cook for me Em. I can cook you know?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t mind. I love to cook and it makes me feel productive.”

I nodded, before realizing she couldn’t see me. “Well I really appreciate it. You’re going to need to slow down though. I don’t want you to overexert yourself.”

She turned to the side and said, “I’m fine, promise.”

I bobbed my head a bit and turned to get a change of clothes… and take advantage of another cold shower.





Talk about a girl moment. I didn’t mean to scream when I saw Finn standing behind me, but he’d been so quiet I hadn’t heard him come in. How embarrassing! He’d caught me dancing around and singing like a banshee. I just wanted to hide under my bed except, I couldn’t fit under my bed anymore. That thought made me want to cry. Stupid pregnancy hormones!

While I set the table for dinner, I heard the bathroom door open. I tip toed over to peak down the hall. I caught a glimpse of Finn in just a towel, with his back glistening with water droplets before he walked into his room and shut the door. What a really nice back, I giggled to myself. Harper and I always would laugh while we watched TV shows on The CW and the cute guys would have their shirts off. We’d say things like, “That’s a really great back” or “Oh I’d touch that arm.” But the back I just watched walk away, was something more than ‘nice’. Finn was broad and muscled, with tattoos on his shoulder blades and a partial sleeve going down his left arm. I wanted to lick those tattoos… after I licked all the water off his body.

Finn’s voice snapped me out of my highly inappropriate daydream. “Em? You okay there? You’re kind of staring off in space.” The man I’d been fantasizing about was now standing in front of me with his hands on my upper arms, neck slightly bent to look me in the eyes. Why did he have to smell so damn edible?

I cleared my throat and said, “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking, that’s all.” Holy mess, I needed to get rid of this sexual tension. I need to get out my pregnancy book and see if the added hormones are f*cking with my libido too.

“Anything you care to share?”

“Ummm…no! Let’s just have dinner. I was about to go grab the salmon.” I practically ran from the room. When I came back, he was already seated and was looking at his phone. He seemed perturbed. He was so focused on whatever he was looking at that he hadn’t even noticed that I’d come back into the room. When I pulled the chair out and it scraped across the floor, he jumped and set his phone—face down—on the table.

“Now who’s the one that seems distracted?” I smiled at him.

“Oh, I’m not distracted. Just some stuff going on back in California that needs my attention.” He winked at me and dug in. “So have you heard from your lawyer this week?”

I was still uncomfortable talking to Finn about my divorce, but he was genuinely interested and he wanted to support me. “Yes actually, I have. It’s funny you asked about it because I just got the final papers. They don’t mention the baby at all. Just that West has added more to my monthly alimony. I have no idea why he feels the need to give me so much though. I never asked him for anything, well besides helping me take care of my medical expenses.”

“You’re kidding right? Didn’t you say he told you he used you throughout your marriage?” Finn sounded aggravated.

“Well… yes, but that doesn’t mean that I need all of that money.”

“It also doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve the money Em. That f*cking prick cheated on you and you walked in on it. Nobody deserves that.”

I sighed and my shoulders slumped. Raising my eyes to Finn’s, I addressed the one issue he had yet to acknowledge. "I think you’ve forgotten that I cheated as well Finn." He closed his mouth. "You and I kissed at that reunion, while I was still married. So I'm just as guilty of cheating as he is."

His mouth set in a firm line and his jaw visibly tightened. "That's not the same thing as f*cking the interior decorator and you know it." His tone sent a shiver down my spine. "You're right. It isn't the same thing, and I'm sorry." Needing to make my meaning clear I explained.

“I’m not saying that I deserved it Finn. What I’m saying is it’s too much. I’ve already told you I don’t want the money, and all of this feels like he’s trying to pay me off… like I was some sort of rent-a-wife for the past eight years and now I’m being returned.”

“Emilyn, listen to me carefully. You weren’t borrowed. You had a husband that unjustifiably used you. Now he’s paying for it. Okay so it’s with his money, but you deserve it. Use it to give your baby everything he or she needs. Okay?” He’d stopped eating while he spoke, but I had picked up my fork and dutifully ate my salmon for something to do.

“I guess I see what you are saying. I’ll think about it. But knowing that the money is coming from him, and how I got it, makes me feel dirty.” I shivered.

“There are plenty of things that could make you feel dirty Em, but money isn’t one of them.” I paused with my fork in the air, my mouth wide open.

“Finley Morgan!” He chuckled at me.

“Alright! Alright! So did the papers say when everything is going to be finalized?”

“As early as next week. It’s one of the perks of West being a lawyer. He knows the judges and probably managed to get this thing pushed through.” I grumbled my last statement. “I’m sure Julia is pressuring him to be done with me as soon as possible too.”

“I don’t see how anybody could want someone else over you.”

I let out a small bitter laugh. “You don’t have to say that, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

“You think I’m lying?”

“I think you’re trying to make a pregnant woman feel better about herself.” I reached over and patted his forearm. He tracked my movement with his eyes.

“I’m not feeding you lines Tiny Girl. You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, baby and all! I’ll tell you that every day for the rest of my life if I have to.”

“I know you would, and that’s very sweet of you.” I sat back in my chair and looked at the table. We’d finished eating but I was feeling exhausted. “Do you mind cleaning up? I’m going to go take a long bath in that huge tub I haven’t tested yet.”

“Of course I don’t mind. Go relax and spend some time off your feet. You need to start resting more.” The concern in his voice made me melt.

I got up from the table and went and started running the water. When the tub was full, I sank into the hot water and enjoyed the steam rising around me. Lying there, I let my mind drift back to seeing Finn with just his towel on. He was a couple of inches taller than he was in high school. Naturally I wondered if other things had grown too. I didn’t have a whole lot of experience when it came to the naked male form. I’d seen a few in my life besides Finn and West, but could I really count the ones I’d seen on television? Either way, Finn wasn’t small. I remembered just how full I felt when he was inside me. I loved the feel of him moving in and out, hitting all those spots that made me quiver. He’d kiss my neck and move those talented fingers down to my * and send me over the edge. West had never got me off like Finn used to.

I sat up feeling overheated and extremely aroused. This was getting ridiculous! I needed some relief and I needed it now! Harper had bought me a small vibrator when I moved into her house and said, “Here, take care of yourself. We’re all bitchy when we aren’t getting some,” before walking away. I’d laughed at the time, but now I was privately thanking her for being so intuitive.

Getting out of the tub and wrapping a towel around my body, I walked into the bedroom. Though it was cooler in here, my skin was still hot. I found the vibrator in the back of the bedside table and pulled it out, setting it on the bed. As I glanced at the door to make sure it was closed, I made a mental note to have a lock put on it. I couldn’t have anybody walking in on me while I was changing. Oh who was I kidding? I couldn’t have anybody catching me getting off either! Lying back on my bed I removed my towel and pulled the covers over the top of me.

My hand slid down my bare stomach and I lightly spread myself open. I was so freaking turned on that my fingers were already wet. Turning on my vibrator, I placed it on my * and my hips tilted up of their own accord. I circled it around, letting it touch all of the small sensitive spots that made my body quake. I turned my face into the pillow and stifled a low moan. I was just about to slip it inside myself when a knock sounded at the door. I physically froze, and although I called out a response almost instantly, my voice was hoarse with arousal. “Hold on, I’ll be out in a second.” My heart jumped into my throat and I immediately sat up. I tried to quickly switch the vibrator off but my hands were shaking so badly that I didn’t have time. Finn opened the door and was standing with his hair in disarray and a wild look in his eyes. I hid my hands behind my back tightly gripping the vibrating object, hoping like hell that he couldn’t hear it. Unfortunately for me, my eighty year old grandpa would have been able to hear it now that it wasn’t being muffled by the covers.

“Wha… what are you doing in here Finn?” Pausing to take stock, I was pleased to find that my covers were tucked under my arms, preventing my breasts from being exposed. Unfortunately my shaking voice couldn’t be helped. I was so close to release I couldn’t tell if I was shaking from my impending orgasm, or from nervousness at Finn nearly catching me in the act.

“What’s behind your back Tiny Girl?” His voice was deep and gruff and he was breathing hard.

“Oh it’s nothing, just my phone on vibrate. Harper keeps calling me.”

He moved towards me. “So why don’t you answer it?”

Shit! I was still fumbling with the toy all while trying not to drop the covers. “I will after you leave.”

“Hmmm… I see.” He was very nearly in touching distance. “Well, why don’t you hand it over here while you go get some clothes on and I’ll talk to Harper until you’re done.”

“Why are you being so nosey? If you’d just leave I could get dressed and call her back.” I was certain he could see my pulse racing.

He held out his hand. “Give it to me Tiny Girl.” His eyes were vibrant blue and fierce.

“Give you what, my phone? If you would just get out I could call….” He interrupted me.

“Emilyn, I know you have a vibrator behind your back, now give it to me.”

I didn’t know what was worse. The fact that he knew what I had been doing, or the fact that he was asking me to hand over the offending object. I had two choices here. I could either play dumb to keep up the charade, or I could hand it over and feel ridiculed. I was going with playing dumb. “What the f*ck are you talking about Finn? I don’t have a vibrator. Now would you give me some privacy please?”

This time he stepped right up to me, molding his body to mine. Oh my god, he was turned on! I had to tilt my head all the way back to look in his face. He intently watched me as his left hand lightly brushed my shoulder and slowly grazed down my arm. He knew what he was doing to me. His hand continued down its path and I was so lost to the sensation of his touch that I didn’t even realize that he had put his hand over mine and was also holding the toy.

“You may get mad at me, and you may even hit me for this if you’d like, but don’t treat me like an idiot.” He brought his hand up and held my vibrator in front of me. “If this was your phone, it would have stopped vibrating.” His blue eyes were penetrating me. “If you need something to help you get off, I’d prefer it if you used me.”

Oh.

My.

F*cking.

God.