Chapter FOUR
WHEN THE TIME HAD COME for him to bid Lara goodbye that day, his policy to keep them keen by not always being readily available—as was his habit with women—had made Gabriel strive to keep his tone and manner as non-committal and cool as possible. But all it had taken was one more lingering glance into Lara’s big brown eyes to make him realise this was the one woman he wouldn’t be able to employ his usual ‘laissez-faire’ technique with.
That incendiary kiss he had stolen from her might have left her thinking what a merciless bastard he was, but it hadn’t been planned. He’d never known a hunger and a need for a woman like it, and in the midst of his surprising need to confess how driven he’d become in his bid for success his desire for her had reached fever pitch.
Add to that the fact that he had been mad at himself, mad at the world, and mad at the cards that fate had dealt him and it had been a recipe for fireworks. Now Gabriel couldn’t get the taste of her or the memory of her soft and shapely contours out of his mind.
Realising he didn’t want to leave before spending some proper time with Lara, he’d decided he would just let things unfold naturally between them instead of sabotaging his chances by being overly demanding and dictatorial. With that in mind, he had suggested that after his meeting with his uncle’s solicitor the next day he pick her up and take her with him to see the house he’d been bequeathed, show her around. Somehow the thought of visiting his old home with her by his side was altogether more appealing than if he confronted the bittersweet memories it would undoubtedly evoke on his own. After the visit he would take her back to her parents’ house so that she could walk Barney, and then in the evening he would take her out to dinner.
After hearing her gladly acquiesce to both those suggestions, Gabriel had left Lara to drive back to his hotel in Park Lane with his spirits raised even when by rights they shouldn’t be—because not only had he lost Sean but he still had to face the ghosts of his past back at the manor house he’d grown up in.
That aside, he’d begun to sense that he and Lara had some ‘unfinished business’ between them. Why else would they have this chemistry after not even setting eyes on each other for years? Gabriel knew that he wouldn’t be returning to New York any time soon without discovering the reasons for it.
* * *
‘Do you mind if I ask you how your meeting with the solicitor went?’
In the sleek black luxury saloon car that Gabriel had hired for the duration of his stay Lara’s tone was cautiously measured, as if she was unsure of what kind of response she would get from him. Gabriel couldn’t blame her for being wary after what had happened yesterday. But right then, despite being secretly thrilled that she was sitting beside him, smelling as fragrant as a rose and looking breathtakingly lovely in her strapless pink summer dress, a more disturbing topic was dominating his thoughts.
That morning he had discovered that there was a surprising codicil to his uncle’s will. How it would impact on his life should he go along with it had presented him with a dilemma he’d never anticipated. It seemed there was yet another complication for him to confront and deal with. Dear God! Was he never to be free of the demoralising legacy of his past?
Swallowing hard, he deftly steered the car off the main road and onto a thoroughfare that he knew led out into the countryside. It was an all too familiar route—one that he had travelled many times as a boy and rarely with any pleasure.
After travelling for a while in silence, Gabriel finally turned briefly towards Lara and answered her question.
‘The meeting went as well as expected, I suppose, if not entirely to my satisfaction. Anyway, you’ll see the house in a few minutes and we can go in and have a look round. I’d like to check a few things over and you can come with me. Then we’ll have a cup of coffee. I’m expecting my uncle’s housekeeper to meet us. She still maintains the place for me and sees to its upkeep.’
‘It must be very reassuring for you to have somebody you know taking care of it.’
Seeing they were approaching the long fir-tree-lined drive that led up to the house, Gabriel grimaced.
‘I don’t exactly know her. Her name is Janet Mullan and I only met her when I came over for my uncle’s funeral. She’s nice enough, I suppose. A cheerful sort. God knows she would have to be to have put up with my taciturn uncle for so long. He wasn’t the greatest conversationalist, that’s for sure.’
Beside him, Lara emitted a soft-voiced sigh. ‘You’ve never told me what his name was...your uncle, I mean.’
The question made his stomach clench. He’d always made a point of not calling his uncle by his name, because dignifying the man with a personal address might have suggested that he’d mattered to him—which he expressly hadn’t.
‘He was called Richard Devenish—or, to give him his full title, Sir Richard Devenish.’ He wasn’t able to prevent the acerbic inflection that crept into his tone. Being the man’s only kin—apart from his errant mother, of course—Gabriel might have inherited the title but it meant little or nothing to him. He would probably never even use it. If he did, it would always be a bittersweet reminder of where he had come from.
His pretty companion shifted in her seat, and he sensed her big brown eyes staring at him in what was likely disbelief.
‘You mean to say that you come from landed gentry, Gabriel? I didn’t know that.’
‘Why should you? I’ve never advertised it.’
‘Did Sean know?’
‘I must have mentioned it to him once, because every now and again when we got drunk he’d give me a mock bow just to rile me. Neither of us took it seriously, though.’
‘You sound as though it embarrasses you. To have a title, I mean. I don’t understand.’
‘No.’ Staring out through the windscreen at the gracious and mellow redbrick manor that had materialised at the end of the drive, Gabriel felt his insides lurch painfully. ‘And I don’t suppose you ever will...not unless I tell you. Anyway, we’re here.’
Parking the car on the gravel and turning off the ignition, he turned towards Lara to survey her. Once again a rush of pleasure and a need so acute pulsed through him. It was hard to think about doing anything else but making love to her. The sleek bared shoulders in the fetching summer dress she wore didn’t exactly help divert the idea. The way the bodice hugged her curvaceous breasts made it hard to look anywhere else.
‘By the way...’ He smiled, consciously changing his previously gruff tone to a gentler one. ‘Have I told you how pretty you look today? That dress is sensational on you.’
Lara’s small pink tongue slipped out to moisten her lips and the colour in her cheeks went from a beguiling tinted rose to a deep cerise. The desire that was already gripping Gabriel with a vengeance veered towards the painful.
‘No, you haven’t,’ she answered. Clearly perturbed by the compliment, she quickly moved her gaze to make an interested examination of the imposing building in front of them. ‘What an amazing house. It makes my parents’ place look doll-size in comparison.’
‘Yes, but I know which one I prefer.’
Before she could comment Gabriel put his hand on the door handle and stepped out onto the gravel, then he stooped down to glance in at her. ‘We should go in.’
* * *
Last night Lara had found it nigh on impossible to sleep. She’d lain awake long into the night, thinking about Gabriel and the fact that he was returning the next day. The shirt that he’d worn during their walk through the woods was draped over a hanger that she’d hooked on the back of the slipper chair by her bed. She’d washed and ironed it, but it still smelled indelibly of its owner, and every now and then Lara had reached out her hand to pull the material to her and sniff it, to remind herself of how compelling and sexy Gabriel’s scent was.
She had also touched her fingertips to her lips as she’d recalled the devastatingly passionate kiss that he’d stolen. And every time she had done so it had been as though she lay close to a furnace. There wasn’t a single inch of flesh on her body that didn’t feel scorched by the man. Just the memory of his heated passion had the ability to arouse her more than she’d ever been aroused before.
Although the beautifully tailored white shirt that belonged to Gabriel was no guarantee that he would keep his promise and return, Lara had chosen to believe it was. Even a man as rich as Gabriel surely wouldn’t want to lose an expensive shirt...would he?
She needn’t have worried. Gabriel had indeed returned, as he had said he would. And if yesterday when he’d shown up unannounced at her parents’ door had felt like a dream, then the surreal sense had definitely intensified today. Lara knew her brother’s friend came from wealthy stock, but she’d had no idea that the house he’d grown up in was as grand and palatial as this. Certainly Sean had never mentioned it. Had her brother sought to protect the other man’s privacy by keeping the information a secret? Lara wouldn’t be surprised if he had. Sean had always been fiercely loyal to his friends. Especially Gabriel.
Janet Mullan, the housekeeper, was a diminutive and pretty woman of around sixty, with a wing of silver hair amid surprisingly dominant chestnut curls, and she did indeed turn out to be just as cheerful as Gabriel had said she was. Her twinkling blue eyes lit with pleasure when she greeted them at the impressive Georgian double doors, and she seemed genuinely pleased to see the manor house’s handsome new owner.
Straight away she demonstrated her thoughtful nature. If there was anything she could do to help Gabriel or his guest feel more at home, she told him eagerly, anything at all, then he shouldn’t hesitate to ask. Would they like some iced tea or a cold drink before they looked around? The news this morning had forecast a ‘scorcher’ of a day.
Glancing briefly at Lara, Gabriel saw that she was happy to agree with his decision and declined. However, he did request some coffee and biscuits for after they’d finished touring the house.
After he had requested the key to his late uncle’s study, because he needed to look at some correspondence that had been left for him, it was clear to Lara that her companion was restless, and she had the sense that Gabriel didn’t want to spend any more time at the house than he absolutely had to.
It was hard to understand when he was now master of this incredible property.
When Janet Mullan returned with the key he politely thanked her and, touching his hand to Lara’s back, partly exposed by the fitted pink dress she’d impulsively decided to wear that morning, Gabriel led her towards the palatial winding staircase that led to the upper floors.
After looking round several elegant and beautiful rooms they arrived at the light and perfectly proportioned library. Lara had been wondering if Gabriel would show her the bedroom he’d occupied as a child, in the hope that it would give her a little more insight into the man he had become, but she guessed he would probably prefer to visit it on his own. However, as soon as they entered the library, Lara fell silent in wonder. She couldn’t help it.
Before her were floor-to-ceiling shelves perfectly arranged with books of every size and volume. More avaricious and ambitious girls might dream of diamonds and sports cars, but she would feel blessed beyond measure should she ever have a room totally dedicated to her books, a room that she could read and relax in—even if it was only small. Gabriel’s library was beyond her wildest dreams, but she honestly felt privileged to see it and to experience its gracious ambience, however briefly.
Catching what looked to be a rare pleased smile on his handsome face as he noted her pleasure, Lara found herself walking across the gleaming parquet floor to the generous Georgian windows. Glancing out, she saw that the beautifully furnished book-lined room looked out onto a stunning river frontage, with acres of lush meadow stretching further than the eye could see beyond it.
But she quickly set aside her pleasure at the view when she realised that Gabriel had grown increasingly quiet. Was he unhappy or upset about something? Lara wished she knew specifically what was troubling him. However, what she did know was that she could hardly take her eyes off of him. Even dressed in jeans and a navy blue T-shirt, with a casually open chambray shirt, the man didn’t look remotely out of place against the impressive grandeur of his childhood home. Yes, Gabriel Devenish exuded class, whether he was conscious of it or not.
Yet the serious, almost solemn expression crossing his strongly delineated features didn’t suggest he was remotely pleased at the fact that, as well as being a rich financier, he was now a seriously wealthy landowner, as well. In fact his preoccupied expression suggested he wished he were anywhere else in the world but here.
Just what was going through his mind? Was he remembering his uncle, perhaps? Yesterday he’d confessed that their relationship hadn’t been a close one. For a boy whose mother had already abandoned him that must have been cruelly hard. Seeing his home again, was Gabriel perhaps regretting the now lost opportunity to make amends with his uncle and work towards repairing their estranged relationship? If only he would share some of his feelings with her.
‘Gabriel?’
‘What is it?’
Turning towards her, he pierced her with a troubled yet forceful stare, as though challenging her to say anything that displeased him. Lara didn’t need to be a trained psychologist to sense that his composure was balanced on a precarious knife-edge. Now definitely wasn’t the time to quiz him about his past.
‘From what I’ve seen so far, this is probably my favourite room in the whole house,’ she declared, endeavouring to convey an upbeat cheerful tone. ‘How lucky were you to have had a personal library at your disposal growing up? If I had lived here I know this is where I would have spent most of my time.’
‘Of course you would. That’s why you became a librarian, isn’t it? Because you love books?’
‘I don’t deny it.’
‘Well, sweetheart...’
To her surprise Gabriel joined her at the window embrasure—but he was still looking troubled, and his compelling blue eyes had darkened like the precursor to a storm.
‘Although you might think I was lucky to have a library and such a beautiful house at my disposal, it was anything but a pleasurable or happy experience. In fact most of the time the house felt more like a prison than a home to me. It wasn’t until I went to university and met Sean, and then you and your parents, Lara, that I got a taste of how different my life could have been if I’d had a similarly happy family.’
Resisting the urge to touch him, even though she badly wanted to, Lara proffered a sympathetic smile instead. ‘I’m sorry that you didn’t experience a happy family life when you grew up—I really am. But I hope you know that my parents and Sean practically thought of you as family. Mum and Dad were equally as pleased for you when you graduated as they were for Sean.’
‘And what about you, Lara?’
Gabriel startled her by reaching out to coil some burnished strands of her silken dark hair round his fingers.
‘Did you regard me as practically family, too?’
Even though her heart slammed hard against her ribs, and her mouth dried uncomfortably, she bravely met his searing intense gaze without glancing away. It was clear that her answer was important to him and it behoved her to tell him the truth, come what may.
‘No, Gabriel. I can honestly say that I never thought of you as family.’
There was a definite hitch of surprise at one corner of his sublimely carved mouth but he maintained his steady, searching glance.
‘Well, well...’ His voice lowered meaningfully, and then he freed the strands of hair he’d captured and slid his warm hand beneath her jaw instead. Tipping up her chin to trap her gaze, he said, ‘I have to commend you on your honesty, Lara. So, if not family then what did you think of me as?’
A sudden attack of nerves seized her. Running her hand down over her dress, Lara sensed it tremble. Gabriel’s nearness and the seductive warmth that emanated from his body made it hard to think straight, never mind string a sentence together.
‘I don’t mean that I didn’t regard you highly. Of course I did. You were my brother’s best friend and I—and I thought a lot of you.’
‘And how do you think of me now?’
She supposed the question was inevitable, but it didn’t make it any easier to answer. ‘I’m—I’m still fond of you.’
‘Fond?’ His fingers gripped her chin a little tighter. His blue eyes had never looked stormier. ‘That’s got to be the most insipid expression of feeling I’ve ever heard and I can’t say that I like it.’
Lara shivered. Inside her strapless dress her nipples had tightened almost unbearably against her bra. They were like molten steel buds and they stung as though burned by a flame as she helplessly watched Gabriel’s mouth descend towards hers.
An instinctive need for self-preservation, along with the need to maintain a modicum of equilibrium before she found herself irretrievably lost, swept over her and she found herself halting his lips’ descent by laying her hand flat against his chest to stop him. It felt like an impenetrable iron wall, and even as Lara halted him her body clamoured feverishly for his touch.
‘We shouldn’t— We shouldn’t be doing this, Gabriel,’ she breathed.
‘Says who?’ One corner of his devilishly teasing mouth twisted wryly and he caught the hand that was attempting to stop him and lightly threw it away. Then he crushed her against him without the slightest remorse. ‘If it’s what we both want, then who’s to say we should stop?’
Again Lara made a last-ditch attempt to utilise common sense. But Gabriel’s desire had lit hers like a flame to touch paper and being sensible was the last—the very last—thing her inflamed body wanted to do.
His hard, honed physique felt incredible, pressed up close to hers, and it was clear he was aroused. But somehow she managed to tell him shakily, ‘What I want is to be your friend, Gabriel...a good friend—not one of the “pretty ladies” with whom you spend the night when you want some company. Our friendship means a lot to me. I wouldn’t want sex to cheapen it.’
He immediately dropped his hands down by his sides, looking stricken. Then he looked furious. ‘So you would feel cheap if you slept with me, would you? I can’t say that does a hell of a lot for my ego. But perhaps in the fairy-tale world that you inhabit, Lara, you were hoping for some kind of knight in shining armour to bed you?’
Gabriel swallowed hard, and his fierce expression was disparaging.
‘Well, that’s never going to be a role I can play, sweetheart, and if all you want is a friend then I suggest you look elsewhere. It’s not as if you don’t know my history and what a lousy friend I was to your brother. Why would you think I’d behave any differently towards you?’
It was inexplicable why she was so prone to make him angry, but rather than try to understand it right then Lara preferred to try and get to the root of why he was so furious. In spite of his rejection all those years ago, she honestly didn’t think it was because he disliked her.
‘My statement about sex cheapening our relationship came out all wrong, Gabriel....’ She chewed her lip in frustration. ‘I didn’t mean that the act would make me feel cheap—it’s just that it would be a shame to reduce the quality of the long-held regard we have for each other just because we succumb to a desire that might be quickly forgotten and...’ Her face flamed red as she said the next words. ‘And regretted.’
His answering frown was formidable. ‘So you think I’d be such a lousy lover you’d immediately regret it?’
Lara could hardly believe how adept she was at saying the wrong thing sometimes. Briefly glancing out of the window and wishing for some kind of mystical inspiration, she couldn’t help sighing. ‘I don’t think that at all. You—you seem determined to misunderstand me.’
Folding his arms across his chest, Gabriel gave her another long, examining look. The sun streaming in through the window behind him made his chestnut hair glisten like copper and she found herself transfixed by the sight.
‘Then tell me this,’ he said soberly. ‘Do you believe there’s something wrong with succumbing to desire? Do you think you’ll be somehow punished for giving in to it?’
‘I’m not some kind of nun who’s taken holy orders, Gabriel.’ Feeling uncomfortably foolish, Lara flushed.
‘Excuse the pun, but thank God for that,’ he commented drolly, making her immediately feel weak again when his mouth curved into one of his devastating smiles.
‘Is there anywhere else in the house you’d like to show me?’ she said quickly, moving across to the door and impulsively taking the opportunity to put some distance between them in a bid to try and calm her wildly beating heart.
With a wry shake of his head he replied, ‘That could easily be misconstrued as a leading question, sweetheart, and to save your very charming pretty blushes I’ll keep the answer for later. Right now I need to go to my uncle’s study and look over some papers. Think you can make your way back downstairs, find Mrs Mullan and ask her to make that coffee for us? Hopefully I won’t be too long.’
‘Of course.’ Feeling glad of the temporary reprieve, in order to get her thoughts together, Lara was happy to agree. But then a thought occurred. What if the correspondence his uncle had left for him upset or distressed him? What kind of mood would he be in when he returned downstairs? And would she be able to handle it adequately and give him the support that he might need?