Chapter TWO
‘AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, GABRIEL?’ Lara asked, feeling suddenly hot again, because she seemed to be the focus of attention and she would much prefer to learn more about him. ‘What line of work are you in these days? Are you still involved in finance?’
The smile Gabriel returned was faintly rueful. ‘Yes, I am.’
‘What exactly do you do? I mean, do you have a job title?’
In answer he rose to his feet, and it was clear to Lara that her questions were unsettling him.
‘I’m a CRO on Wall Street—and, before you ask, that stands for Chief Risk Officer. I deal with analysing risk-and-reward formulas in financial businesses and banks.’
‘Oh.’ She raised her shoulders in a shrug, feeling none the wiser with the explanation. ‘It sounds complicated.’
‘Does it?’ A visible muscle flinched at the side of his carved cheekbone. ‘At any rate, I’d advise you not to lose any sleep trying to figure it out.’
‘Meaning you don’t think I’m intelligent enough to understand?’
‘You always did take umbrage when you thought I was being mocking, didn’t you? Perhaps you should try not to take things so personally.’
As Lara mulled over the comment, to try and ascertain exactly what he meant, Gabriel moved across to where she sat, leaned down and gathered her hands in his. Then he silently pulled her to her feet.
There wasn’t an adequate description for the huge wave of both panic and pleasure that suddenly engulfed her...except maybe abject disbelief that it was happening. Over the years, she had fantasised many times about what it might be like if Gabriel ever touched her or held her close as if he meant it, and while her heart sang to have him near she couldn’t help but remember the time when he’d so purposefully moved her away from him and told her he could never be for her. But even that agonising memory couldn’t stop her from thinking that being close to him like this felt so—so right.
Then she realised that his brilliant blue gaze was examining her with a searching intensity that couldn’t help but make her apprehensive.
‘Tell me about Sean,’ he commanded quietly, his tone almost reverent, as though even uttering his friend’s name out loud distressed him.
Relieved that it wasn’t anything she’d inadvertently done or said that had made him study her so intently, Lara took a nervous swallow. It still upset her terribly to talk about Sean and remember afresh that he had died. The thought was akin to sharpened cold steel being plunged into her heart.
‘What do you want to know?’
Gabriel didn’t release her and she found she was in no hurry to be free. His hands were large and warm and they made her feel strangely secure, made her ache for the kind of loving, sensual protection that only a man like him could provide. She was suddenly aware of a small vein throbbing in his forehead.
‘Why—how did he contract malaria?’ he enquired huskily. ‘Don’t volunteers have to have some kind of protection before going out into these godforsaken places?’
‘Of course they do.’ Lara was taken aback by the underlying rage she heard in his voice...touched that he still felt so strongly about Sean after all these years.
She was angry, too, that the brother she’d loved so dearly had been ripped from her so suddenly and without warning, and the wounds of that loss were so great she feared they might never heal. Yet she wouldn’t run away from grief, no matter how hard it hurt. She’d made a vow to face it head-on and not wound her heart further by denying how she felt. Something told her that it would be disrespectful to Sean if she did. But still, she utterly sympathised with Gabriel’s confusion and pain.
‘He had all the necessary jabs and medical examinations before he went over there,’ she said softly, ‘but malaria is caused by a mosquito bite from an infected mosquito, as I’m sure you probably know. Shortly after his death, a tear in the netting over his bed was discovered. Unfortunately the charity was always short of the money to be able to replace the old ones when they were no longer any good.’
‘So he was given a faulty mosquito net?’ His tone disparaging, Gabriel abruptly dropped Lara’s hands and stepped away.
Feeling both bereft of his touch and chilled by the memory of how Sean had died, she crossed her arms over her cotton shirt and nodded sadly. ‘It seems so.’
As if he didn’t know what to do with his rage to contain it, he strode over to the other side of the room to stare blindly out at the sunlit garden. Suddenly he spun round again to face her. ‘How could Sean have been such an idiot?’ he asked angrily.
‘What?’ The brutal question had the same effect on Lara as if Gabriel had slapped her hard across the face.
‘I mean, why didn’t he think of the consequences of being so careless about his own welfare? Probably because he’d never dream of putting himself first—and that was the problem. Why else would he accept a faulty net and risk being bitten? Even if he hadn’t realised it wasn’t intact. He should have checked. But he was always too busy thinking about others, wasn’t he? No wonder he went into charity work. What a waste that turned out to be.’
His blue eyes glittered with fury and then, seconds later, looked utterly desolate.
‘He was a genius at maths and science. He could have gone into any investment bank or financial concern and gone straight to the top. If it was so important to him to support worthy causes he could have done so from the safety of his office, using as much of his money as he wanted, without putting himself in the eye of the damn storm! It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there—a world where it’s every man for himself—and if you don’t make yourself number one then you’re dead in the water.’
As Gabriel angrily scraped his fingers through his hair it was clear that it was near impossible for him to contain his growing frustration.
‘God knows I told him that enough times. You’d think he would have had the common sense to take it on board.’
Taking a deep breath in, Lara slowly breathed out again. Her anxious heartbeat started to ease and return to a calmer rhythm. Gabriel hadn’t been being cruel when he’d asked how Sean could have been such an idiot—he was merely angry and frustrated at the senseless waste of his friend’s life. As they all were.
‘My brother was a good man—as I’m sure you know, Gabriel. And he was happy doing the work he’d chosen, helping others less fortunate than he was. It simply wasn’t in his nature to put himself first. I don’t know about you, but that’s the way I want to remember him. Happy and fulfilled and enjoying his life. I know that if he were still here he’d want you to be happy and fulfilled and enjoying your life, too. Are you?’
Her question hung suspended in the air like the sword of Damocles. Gabriel was staring at her as though transfixed, but then he rubbed his hand round his jaw in a bid to stir himself from the seeming trance he’d fallen into and shrugged.
‘In my view, being happy is given too much credence in this world. A far better goal is to aim to be successful. If you’re successful then that’s fulfilling. That at least gives you choices in life. Anyway...’
Moving back to his chair, he lifted his cup of tea to his lips and took a long draught. Then he put the cup and saucer back down and gave Lara a haunting smile that was part regret, part anguish.
‘I’m sorry if I upset you with my rant about Sean. But he was a good friend to me—probably the best friend I’ve ever had. I only wish I’d realised it sooner. I should have stayed in touch with him—but it’s too late now, isn’t it? It’s an absolute crime and a travesty that he was taken from us so soon. Please convey my heartfelt condolences to your parents, won’t you? I’m sorry they aren’t here for me to speak to personally. At any rate, I think it’s probably about time I went.’
The thought that he was leaving and that she might never see him again hit Lara like a thunderbolt.
Before she was sufficiently recovered from the shock to think it through properly, she blurted out, ‘Must you go? If you stay for a while we can have lunch together. You can even come for a walk with me and Barney first, if you like? A walk is the perfect remedy to blow the cobwebs away and clear your head. We’ve got woods at the back of the house, remember? I wish you’d seen them when the primroses were out in the spring—they were a picture.’
It was at that very moment that Gabriel knew he couldn’t walk away from this woman as easily as he wanted to—as easily as he should walk away. Because he knew if he stayed he would only hurt her. The savage hunger and need that he had buried inside for so long—and from time to time had sought to assuage with pretty bodies who only saw him as a ‘golden ticket’ to the lavish and expensive lifestyle they craved—would only end up consuming the innocent Lara and filling her with the most bitter regret for issuing that invitation to stay a while.
But Gabriel knew already that he couldn’t resist accepting it. And who could blame him for seeking sanctuary in her fresh and innocent company for a little while longer?
‘All right, then. I’ll stay...at least for lunch and a walk with Barney.’
‘That’s great. But you do realise I have an ulterior motive for asking?’
She smiled, and for the first time Gabriel noticed the two engaging and rather sexy dimples in her cheeks. But her words suddenly made him stiffen. He wasn’t ready for his illusions about her—if illusions were what they were—to be shattered so soon.
‘What motive would that be?’ he asked warily.
She lifted her slender shoulders, then dropped them again. ‘It’s just that I’ve been a bit lonely here on my own, surrounded by memories of my brother. It would be nice to have some company for a change to help take my mind off things.... That’s all I meant.’
Feeling ridiculously pleased at the admission, Gabriel relaxed. ‘Then far be it from me to deny you the one thing I can give you today. Shall we go for that walk now? The sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day. It would be a shame to waste it staying indoors.’
‘I agree.’ Lifting her long dark hair off her shoulders and dropping it down again behind her back, Lara moved gracefully across to the door. ‘I’ll just go and get my walking boots on—the terrain in the woods is quite rough and uneven in places. Will you be okay walking in those?’ Her glance was doubtful as she surveyed the ebony Italian loafers that he wore. ‘They look pretty chic and expensive.’
‘I would have brought something more suitable to change into if I’d known you were going to entice me into the woods with you,’ he remarked drolly, and his lips split into a grin when she blushed vividly.
‘Don’t kid yourself I’d even dream of such a thing. For one thing, I wouldn’t know how.’
Beneath his immaculate white shirt Gabriel’s heart started to pound disturbingly. More than that, a profoundly arousing heat invaded his blood.
‘Now, there’s a challenge if ever I heard one...’ he commented huskily.
‘I didn’t mean it as a challenge. I was only— Oh, never mind. I’ll go and get my boots on.’
Clearly flustered, Lara hurriedly left the room, and straight away Gabriel missed her presence and longed for her to return.
* * *
He was being introduced to a completely different world from the one he was used to inhabiting—a world that he realised he’d been missing for far too long.
Walking through the woods with the beauty he had once known as ‘Sean’s little sister’ by his side was delightful. She laughed often and unselfconsciously—a huskily engaging sound that made all the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. And every now and then a waft of the delightful perfume she wore, which smelled like a bouquet of wild flowers, deluged Gabriel’s senses and hit him in the gut. Coupled with the earthy, resinous scents that abounded in the woods, it made for a sensual experience bar none—a million miles away from the tense, charged atmosphere of Wall Street that was his usual daily experience.
‘I’m going to take Barney’s lead off now. This is his favourite neck of the woods. We know it well and I like to let him have a run.’
Gifting Gabriel with another sunny smile, Lara stooped to free the excited terrier from his leash and he bounded away through the thicket of dense undergrowth and trees like a whippet, joyously barking.
‘He’s not the brightest chicken in the coop,’ she commented affectionately. ‘He’s a natural hunter, but the trouble is he announces his arrival so that his prey can get away before he reaches it!’
Shaking her head in amusement, she laughed again, and Gabriel couldn’t help but smile with pleasure. Driven by sheer instinct—for once letting his heart rule his head—he found himself drawing closer and reaching for her hand. The hotly fierce tingle that shot through his body when he touched her was like being glanced by lightning and almost made him stumble. The startled look Lara gave him in return indicated that she’d felt the electrifying sensation, too.
‘I’d forgotten how funny you are,’ he confessed. ‘And that you have the most beautiful eyes. They glisten like jewels when you laugh.’ It didn’t come naturally to him to compliment a woman and mean it, but he meant this particular one with every fibre of his being.
‘Thank you.’
Carefully she disengaged her hand from his, and the becoming flush on Lara’s cheeks told Gabriel that he’d been right about her being disturbed by the shock of electricity that had arced between them.
‘You’re blushing,’ he teased.
‘If I am it’s because I’m not used to receiving such effusive compliments.’
‘Not even from the man in your life?’
He experienced no remorse whatsoever for shamelessly fishing. But Lara’s expression looked troubled now, and the light in her eyes dimmed a little.
‘There isn’t a man in my life—at least not at the moment.’
Gabriel couldn’t deny he was relieved to hear it, although he wasn’t ready to explore why right then.
‘You mean to say that there potentially might be someone? Someone you perhaps have your eye on?’
‘No. I don’t mean that at all.’ She didn’t bother to try and disguise her annoyance that he should quiz her on the subject.
‘What about you?’ she asked, turning the tables. ‘Is there anyone significant in your life? For all I know you might even be married by now.’
‘I’m not—married, I mean. And neither am I in a serious relationship. I’m married to my work, Lara. I know that sounds extremely dull and boring but it’s true. However, that’s not to say I lack the company of a pretty woman when I want it.’
‘You mean you like to play the field? I suppose that’s why there’s no one serious in your life, then.’
She sighed. But whether that sigh signified disapproval or disappointment Gabriel couldn’t guess.
Staring at the dense shroud of trees and bushes that her lively pet terrier had disappeared into, she suddenly called out, ‘Barney! Here, boy! Come on back, now.’
When the dog didn’t immediately appear, Lara turned her gaze back to Gabriel.
‘I worry when he suddenly goes quiet,’ she admitted, ‘I’d better go and see where he’s got to. He might have got stuck down a rabbit hole or something. It’s happened before. Why don’t you wait here for me? You’ve already got your posh shoes all muddy, and the ground on the other side of those trees and bushes is invariably quite boggy. Hopefully I won’t be too long.’
‘I don’t give a damn about my shoes, and I haven’t left my jacket back at the house and rolled up my shirtsleeves for nothing. I’m not concerned about getting dirty. I’ll come and help you find the dog.’
‘His name’s Barney!’
Again Lara looked affronted, and again Gabriel couldn’t resist goading her.
‘Who’s he named after? One of your ex-boyfriends?’
‘He’s my parents’ dog, not mine, you ninny.’
‘You always used to call me that. You might be surprised to know I found it quite endearing.’
‘Now, that I don’t believe. My perception was that it irritated you. I was the pesky sixteen-year-old sister of your friend, remember? You didn’t take me at all seriously. You put up with me out of politeness to Sean and my parents, I’m sure.’
‘That’s not true.’ Gabriel frowned, perturbed that Lara had believed that.
‘Come on, then.’ As if intuiting his disturbance, she gave him a cheery smile. ‘Let’s go and find Barney.’
As he squelched through the dense and muddied undergrowth in his thousand-dollar Italian loafers, with the damp leaves of bushes and thickets brushing against his immaculate white shirt, occasionally stumbling when he lost his balance, Gabriel had to smile at the ludicrous image he must present. His colleagues on Wall Street would have a field day if they could see him.
Strangely enough, that made him smile even more. In truth, he wasn’t predisposed to be glum or morose. He honestly thought that he had the best of it. How could he not when he was following behind the long-legged beauty in tight jeans in front of him?
Lara was negotiating the uneven muddy trail through the woods like a latter-day female Indiana Jones, hardly pausing for breath and calling out ‘Barney!’ every now and then with renewed gusto. Gabriel knew himself to be a fit man who welcomed a challenge—be it mental or physical—but his companion’s agility and stamina had to be seen to be believed.
Suddenly coming to a halt, and with frustration and apprehension in her voice, Lara shouted, ‘Barney! This isn’t funny. What do you think you’re playing at, you naughty boy?’
‘Sounds like you’re expecting him to reply.’
‘Ha-ha, very funny...not.’
This time Gabriel was treated to an irritated glare which, thankfully, he didn’t take seriously—not when he guessed that Lara would be utterly distraught if they couldn’t find the dog. It made him want to make more of a concerted effort to help her.
‘Barney!’ he yelled, striding towards an even denser section of the woods that they hadn’t yet explored, at that point not giving a fig that his shoes were now more or less ruined by the rough, muddy terrain.
Was that a glimpse of a dark sandy-coloured coat he’d just spied through the trees? He squinted searchingly. Gabriel would bet his bottom dollar that it was.
‘Barney! Here, boy!’ he called again, moving more deeply into the shrouded area in front of him.
He hadn’t gone very far when he saw the terrier’s wriggling rear-end pointed upwards towards the sheltering canopy of leaves. The dog was furiously digging in the earth as though intent on finding treasure.
‘I’ve found him!’ he called out to Lara, spinning round only to find her hurrying towards him. Her white shirt was splattered with mud, as his was, her long dark hair was engagingly dishevelled, and her pretty face was visibly flushed pink with the heat of her exertions.
‘Thank God!’ she exclaimed as she flew past Gabriel to reach her adored family pet, dropping down onto her knees on the rough woodland floor.
She didn’t seem to care that she might potentially hurt herself or ruin her clothes.
‘Barney, you’re a very naughty boy,’ she scolded fondly, lifting the animal away from his enthusiastic digging and hugging him to her chest, uncaring that the terrier had made her white shirt even muddier.
Crazy as it was, Gabriel couldn’t help but envy the small hound. He wouldn’t mind his once spotless tailored shirt getting even dirtier if Lara held him to her fulsome breasts like that.
‘He was probably digging for rabbits.’ She grinned up at him, her dark eyes shining. ‘He can’t help himself.’ Turning back to the dog, she crooned, ‘You’re a natural-born hunter, aren’t you, baby?’
Then, before Gabriel could take command of his besieged senses and help her, she gracefully rose to her feet and slipped the leash back on the terrier’s collar.
‘I don’t know about you, but I’m suddenly starving. Let’s get back and I’ll fix us some lunch.’
Starving didn’t come close to describing Gabriel’s appetite right then—and it wasn’t food that he hungered for. His best friend’s little sister was seriously challenging his libido and winning. Of all the things he might have envisaged happening on this trip to the UK, it wasn’t that.
Just what the hell he was going to do about it he didn’t rightly know. But to seriously consider bedding the shapely brunette and risk sullying his once good relationship with her and her family almost didn’t bear thinking about.
‘I want you to take off that shirt when we get home,’ Lara instructed as she airily swept past him with Barney.
‘What?’
Coming to a sudden halt, she turned to flourish at him a cheeky grin that would’ve shamed a mischievous schoolgirl.
‘Don’t worry—it’s not because I have designs on your body or anything. You’re quite safe. I was just going to put it in the washing machine. You can borrow one of my dad’s shirts in the meantime. He’s about the same build and height as you, although of course not quite as—not quite as...’
As her big brown eyes swept over him, and she clearly struggled to finish the sentence, Gabriel once again couldn’t resist being provocative.
‘Fit?’ he suggested, smiling.
‘You know that saying? It should be “Vanity, thy name is Man—not Woman”.’
Crossing his arms over his shirtfront, Gabriel mockingly raised an eyebrow. ‘That quote is from Hamlet, and it’s, “Frailty, thy name is woman”—not vanity. Just thought you’d like to know that for future reference.’
His pretty companion tossed her head and spun away, striding through the undergrowth again with Barney yapping happily beside her—but not before Gabriel saw her look daggers at him, as if she’d like to abandon him in the middle of those dank, dark woods and leave him there.
* * *
Lara honestly didn’t know where she was finding the courage to deal with the disturbingly charismatic presence that was Gabriel. And neither had she fully dealt with the shock of him turning up out of the blue like that at her parents’ door.
As time had gone on, her day had grown more challenging. When they’d been chatting in the living room earlier and Gabriel had drawn her up from her chair to ask about Sean she’d really believed she might faint from the sheer dizzying pleasure of the contact—not to mention the mesmerisingly intense glance he’d given her. His brilliant blue eyes had stared back into hers as though wanting to see into her very soul...as though even that wouldn’t be enough for him to find what he was searching for.
She’d seen so many things in that seemingly endless glance to take her breath away, but rage and hunger—for what, she didn’t know—had been predominant.
The second time he’d touched her, catching hold of her hand in the woods and smiling down at her, as though her company genuinely gave him pleasure, the sizzling jolt of electricity Lara had experienced when he put his hand round hers had left her feeling dizzy and confused. Such an extreme reaction to a simple friendly touch didn’t bode well for her peace of mind when the time came for her to say goodbye to Gabriel again. And this time she didn’t doubt his departure would be for good.
He would go back to his high-octane life on Wall Street and she would return to her much more simple and ordinary routine as a college librarian. Except that would be no consolation for watching her brother’s one-time charismatic best friend walk out of her life for a second time....
On their return from the woods they stood in the porch at the back of the house as Lara schooled Barney to wait while she and Gabriel removed their muddy footwear. Seeing that her companion’s black loafers were liberally weighed down and caked in once-oozing but now dried sludge, she let out a groan.
‘Oh, why, oh, why did they have to be suede?’ she asked, sincerely regretful that because of her Gabriel had ruined what was an undoubtedly expensive pair of shoes.
She could just imagine Sean shaking his head and saying, Not one of your best ideas, sis—taking Gabe on a woodland walk when he was wearing classy Italian loafers. What on earth were you thinking?
It took her aback to remember that he’d always referred to his friend as Gabe, not Gabriel. Lara had never been bold enough to do the same. Aside from that, Sean would have been right to wonder what she was thinking about. The trouble was her wonderful brother hadn’t realised that Lara never had been able to think clearly round Gabriel.
‘I should have lent you my dad’s walking boots,’ she reflected ruefully.
‘What size is he?’
‘He’s a nine.’
Grimacing as he stood up in the generous-sized utility room that his impressive physique had made appear suddenly small, Gabriel emitted a playful sigh. ‘Wouldn’t have been any good, I’m afraid. I’m a size twelve.’
Having removed her own boots, Lara rose to join him. ‘In any case, I think your lovely shoes are completely ruined. Were they very expensive?’ She flushed as she privately wondered how she could possibly find the money to replace them if they’d been even half as expensive as she guessed they had. God knew a college librarian didn’t earn a fortune....
‘If I told you, you’d probably read me the riot act for being so vain and wasteful. Forget about it. The damn shoes don’t matter. Anyway, I’ve got a spare pair in the car.’
‘You’ve got a spare pair in the car? Why didn’t you tell me?’
His arresting gaze made him look to be carefully considering the question. ‘I didn’t think about it. Besides, it’s no big deal. Now, if you’ll go and get me that shirt you promised, I’ll get out of this one and give it to you to put in the washing machine.’
He was already starting to unbutton the stained shirt as he spoke, and Lara suddenly panicked at the thought of seeing him standing there bare-chested.
‘Okay...won’t be a tick,’ she murmured, hurriedly turning towards the door that led out into the hall.
Her senses were already bombarded by Gabriel’s presence alone—how was she supposed to handle being presented with the arresting beauty of his naked male chest and act as though she were unaffected?