“That’s not funny, Cameron,” Adrian spits. “You’re going to be fine, baby. You are the toughest chick I know.” He wraps his large arms around me and squeezes me tight.
I smile. “I know.” And it’s true. I feel damn invincible at this moment in time. Bring it. Bring it the fuck on and give me my baby.
Adrian passes me my overnight bag. “I packed you both some clothes, and I put in some clothes for the baby, too.”
I smile brightly. “Styling baby Stanton already?”
He throws me a wink. “Of course.”
Bridget cuddles me. “Oh, Tash. I love you. Everything will be fine. I am waiting out here just in case you need me,” she whispers into my hair.
I nod and feel a little bit bad that I didn’t want anyone but Joshua with me at the birth. This is such a precious moment, one I only want to share with him.
Cameron wraps his arms around me. “Pain management, chick. There are no medals for bravery.” He kisses me on the cheek and shakes Joshua’s hand.
I nod and fake a smile. “I just want to ring Mum quickly.” I dial Mum’s number.
“Hello, darling,” she answers, and for the first time today I feel teary. I really wanted her here.
“Hi, Mum. My water has broken and I’m being induced.”
“Oh, it’s going to be wonderful. Enjoy it.”
I nod and feel a little better.
“I love you, darling. Good luck and ring me as soon as you can. I will sit by the phone.”
“Ok.” I hesitate as my eyes tear up. “I love you.”
As if sensing my fear, she speaks again. “Tash, you’re going to be ok. Don’t be scared. Go and get your baby.”
I nod with renewed purpose. “Bye, Mum.” I hang up the phone and turn to the others.
“Let’s do this shit,” I state, and turn and walk back to reception with them all cheering me on from behind. I feel like Rocky Fucking Balboa.
We are steered down the corridor by the nurse who eventually opens a door at the end of the hall. Joshua and I walk in sheepishly; this is frigging scary. If these walls could talk, I’m sure they would have some gruesome stories.
She places four towels on the bed. “I’m sure you two would like to shower and make yourself more comfortable before we put you on the drip.”
My eyes find Joshua in his dirty polo get up and I smile.
“Thank you.”
He nods and seems to remember, for the first time, what he is wearing.
She leaves the room and I walk into the bathroom. “Oh, look! A spa bath.”
“You can forget it,” Joshua mumbles from the other room. “We are not getting in that spa bath.”
I smile. He’s so right, I can think of nothing worse than sitting in a bloody bath.
I shower, get into my gown, then into bed. Joshua showers and changes into new clothes and sits next to the bed, too, taking my hand. He’s quiet, too quiet.
The nurse comes in, places the cannula in the back of my hand and puts the medication into the drip. My heartbeat is pumping so damn hard, it will be a miracle if I don’t have a heart attack before the birth even begins. She hooks me back up to the heart rate monitor and we, once again, hear the magic of our baby’s heartbeat.
She eventually leaves, and Joshua blows out a relieved breath as he takes my hand and kisses the back of it.
“Now we wait,” he whispers.
I smile. “Are we sure about the names?” I ask.
His face falls. “Don’t you like them anymore?”
“Yes, it would help if it didn’t know so many people. It’s annoying.” I sigh.
Joshua bites his bottom lip to contain his smile. One of his prerequisites is that he doesn’t know anyone with the same name. Do you know how hard that is? He knows one of everything.
The door opens and a tall young man walks in. “Hello.” He shakes our hands. “I’m Jeremy Seymour. I’m the resident anaesthetist.”
“Hello.”
“I just wanted to go through an epidural with you.”
“No, I’m fine, thanks,” I reply. Bloody hell, they really do try and force this shit down your throat.
He smiles warmly. “That’s fine. I just want you to know that there is only a small window where you can have it, and once that has passed, it’s too late.”
I nod. “Thank you. I am really focused on doing this naturally.”
The doctor smiles warmly. “Of course. Good luck.”
The doctor leaves us in peace.
Josh takes my hand. “‘Tash, they all keep going on about this, maybe you should do it. Like Cam said, there is no bravery medal at the end.”
I smile. “Josh, I am stronger than you think.”
“I know,” he admits nervously.
“Trust me. I can do this.”
Seven hours later
“Ahhhhh, Get me a fucking epidural. Get it to me now!” I scream as I writhe around in pain on the bed. Joshua is wet with perspiration and has thrown up four times just from stress. This isn’t childbirth of natural free love and all that glow. This is an exorcism of The Devil, where he is ripping himself out of my body.
I shake my head at Joshua frantically. “No. No. Take me home, Josh. Take me home. Take me home. Take me home.”
“Baby,” Joshua whispers. “Calm down.”
“It is not oh fucking kaaaay!” I scream.