“Hello.,” I hear Bridget’s voice and I open the door and peek around.
“Get in here.” I grab her jumper and pull her into the cubicle with me, thankful nobody else is in the toilets.
“What are you doing, you fruitcake?”
“Look at this.” I snap as I point at my pants.
Her face drops in horror. “What the hell happened?”
“I wet myself,” I whisper angrily.
Her mouth drops open in horror and then she starts to giggle. “Oh my God. Funny shit.”
“This is not funny shit,” I gasp, outraged.
She puts her hands over her mouth. “What are we going to do?” She bends down to my stomach and points at it. “Naughty baby.” She whispers.
I put my hands on my hips and throw my head back in disgust.
“It has to be a boy.” She smirks. “Only a boy would do this.”
“Not helping,” I groan.
She stands and thinks for a moment. “I will just go out and get Max to bring the car around.”
I look at her for a moment as I think. “But they will photograph my piss pants and it will be on every magazine cover tomorrow.”
She screws up her face. “Yeah, I guess.”
She gets out her phone and texts someone.
“Who are you texting?” I frown.
“Cameron.”
“I don’t want Cameron to know,” I stammer in a panic.
“Cameron’s a doctor, you fool. He sees people shit themselves all the time.”
I throw my hands over my face in shame. “This is abysmal,” I whisper.
She texts Cameron.
Mayday, mayday
Natasha has wet her pants
And we are stuck in the toilet.
We wait for a moment. “I wish Adrian was here.” I whisper in mortification.
He finally texts back.
What?
Bridget texts back.
She has wet her pants and now her jeans are soaked What do we do?
We wait for a moment and no reply. “What’s he fucking doing?” Bridget snaps. “This is an emergency.” She bites her bottom lip to stifle her smile and I look at her helplessly.
“You have to admit… this is pretty damn funny.” She smiles.
“Fucking hilarious,” I mutter dryly.
“Hello?” I hear Cameron’s voice. Oh shit, he’s in the girl’s toilets.
I open the cubicle and pull him in. The three of us are like sardines all squashed in here. He looks down at me in horror. “Did you feel like you were wetting yourself and couldn’t stop it?” he asks.
I shake my head. “No. I just felt hot wet on my legs. I’m going to die of embarrassment. Get Joshua.” I admit defeat as I hold my hands over my face.
We hear a woman come into the toilets and we all stay silent. Cameron punches Bridget as she tries to hold in her giggles. The intruder eventually leaves.
My phone beeps a text from Max.
What’s going on?
Why is Cameron in there?
Oh, man, this is horrific. I have to tell him. I text back.
Don’t tell anyone but I have wet my pants.
He texts back.
I will bring the car around
I reply.
Yes, please.
Cameron narrows his eyes as he thinks. “Tash, I don’t think you have wet yourself.”
I frown.
“What are you talking about?” Bridget snaps. “What does it look like she has done, you fool?”
“It’s probably amniotic fluid. I think your water has broken.”
My eyes widen. “Its too early.”
Bridget gasps and then bends to my stomach and points at it. “Naughty baby, stay in there. You are not cooked yet.”
“Stop calling my baby naughty,” I warn her as I slap her over the back of the head as she bends down.
“Well, he is,” she says.
I hold my hands up in horror. “Get Joshua. Get Joshua… now.”
Cameron looks at his watch. “There is only seven minutes left in the game, if you pull him off the paps will be onto you and you will be hounded all the way to the hospital.”
“True,” Bridget answers.
My phone beeps a text and I read it out. Its Max again.
Swap pants with Bridget to get to the car.
Bridget’s face drops. “Ewww, I’m not wearing your amniotic festy fucking pants.”
I start to rip my jeans down and Cameron frowns at the show that is unfolding. “Please, Bridget,” I beg.
“Oh my God,” she grumbles, mortified. “Cameron, do something,” she whispers.
“I don’t fit into her fucking jeans,” he replies.
Another text comes through from Max.
Right, at the door
And I hear the cars engine. I pull my pants back up. “Let’s make a run for it.”
We come out of the cubicle. Cameron grabs my hand and we burst out of the bathroom into the open car door that Max is holding for me. He slams the door shut. “Oh, God, what if they got a shot of my wet pants,” I cry to Cameron.