Drunk Dial

“I didn’t think your parents were old enough to retire. How did I not know about any of this?”

“They were in their early forties when they adopted me, so yeah, it’s time. They plan to spend half the year down there and then summers back up here. They got a small apartment down the road to hold onto for when they come back. They just left yesterday for Naples. This house was too much upkeep for them, and they were looking to unload it anyway. So, I jumped on the opportunity, told them I was interested in buying it. You didn’t know any of this because I wanted to surprise you. Clearly, it worked. You look shocked.”

Looking around, I stammered, “I…I am.”

“I figured it’s still close enough to your dad and Lilith. I would’ve never bitten the bullet on it otherwise. They left all their furniture and stuff behind, but of course you can decorate it to your own taste.”

“Are you sure we can afford to live here?”

“They own it outright, so they’re not in any rush for the money, but I insisted on giving them a down payment, which I’ve already done. They gave me a good deal, though. The mortgage is not that much more than what we pay in rent. We set up a monthly payment plan, so they’re not getting screwed. It’s a good feeling to know that we’re not dealing with a bank. We wouldn’t lose the house if the truck ever went under. I wouldn’t want to ever put us in that kind of a position.”

“I never dreamt I’d have a house. I don’t think I could’ve ever afforded this on my own, probably never in my lifetime. You’re certain we’re not getting in over our heads?”

“I’ve got it covered. Don’t worry.”

“This is really happening?”

“Only if you want it to, baby. They can always sell it to someone else if you’re not happy living here.”

Glancing over toward the large kitchen, I couldn’t believe it was mine. “I do want this.”

“I figured we could stay here over the next couple of days, christen every room, make it our own, maybe do some decorating. Then I’ll slowly move our stuff in until we’re fully out of the apartment.”

“We can take our time,” I said. “I love the idea of not having to move everything in at once.”

“I want some time to fix a few things up first. I’d like to replace a couple of the appliances and get central air put in.” He walked toward the front entrance. “Let’s check out the garage.”

The thought of getting to see the inside of the old garage apartment again was giving me the jitters.

What actually met my eyes, though, was nothing like I was expecting and left me speechless.

Framed black and white photos that had been blown up hung all around the otherwise empty space. They were photos of Landon and me, both individually and together through the years. There was one I hadn’t seen before of the two of us at the beach in California. The walls were painted white, and he’d installed recessed lighting into the ceiling. It literally looked like an art gallery. Aside from the four walls around us, there was no trace of the dingy apartment we’d lived in all those years ago.

When I turned around to face him, he was right there, just inches from my face and holding a note that was folded into a triangle.

“The final one. Open it.”

What’s happening?

I unfolded the note to find that inside was a beautiful round diamond in the most unique setting I’d probably ever seen. The entire band was constructed of small diamonds and the sides were looped into what looked like two number eights.

“Read the note,” he said before taking the ring.

I looked down at his familiar handwriting.



Rana Banana,



I’ve asked you a lot of stupid questions over the years. Trust me, this isn’t one of them. This next one is the most important.



Landon



P.S. I love you.



Then, he got down on one knee. The lights above us were shining into his gorgeous eyes.

“Rana Saloomi…our journey back to each other was not an easy one at times, but I feel like everything that happened in my life happened so that I could end up in this very spot right now. I am so deliriously in love with you. And I’m so proud of you for facing your biggest fear this year. Your love and dedication, not only to me, but to those who are lucky enough to be loved by you inspires me every day. Thank you for loving me and for always tucking a piece of me away in your heart, even when we were on significantly different paths through the years. But especially, thank you for getting drunk and dialing me that fateful night. I will always be grateful for the fact that my baby is sloppy when she drinks a little too much. You’ll never have to drink alone again. You’ll never have to be alone again. Marry me?”

It was the easiest question I’d ever had to answer. “Yes!”

Landon placed the ring on my finger before lifting me up into the air.

We were truly home, back where it all started and now where our story would begin again.

Still holding the note, I wrapped my arms around his neck. When he put me down, I looked closer at the ring he’d chosen.

“I love the setting.”

“It’s two figure eights, one on each side. It reminded me of your dance move. The jeweler didn’t know what the hell I was talking about when I told him that, but anyway, I thought it was as unique as you are.”

We just held each other for a while then took a walk around the room to look at the photos again.

“I can’t believe what you did to this space. Now I know why you’ve been randomly disappearing on Sunday afternoons.”

“This room brought me you. Now it’s yours to do whatever you want with. We’ll have to figure out a cool use for it in the future.”

I agreed, “Something that fits us.”

“Sex dungeon, it is, then?” He winked.



We drove into the city that night to celebrate our engagement.

On our walk back from the Hibachi restaurant to the truck, we happened upon something that stopped me in my tracks as we passed a brick building.

“What’s wrong, Rana?”

I walked up to the poster hanging at the entrance to get a good look at it. Then I looked up at the neon sign that read, Life’s A Drag.

“We need to go inside,” I insisted.

“You want to see the drag queen show?”

“Yes.” I grabbed him by the arm. “Come on.”

After we paid our admission at the ticket booth, Landon went to the bar to get us a couple of drinks. I’d told him to get me something strong.

We sat through two performances. I refused to tell Landon what was happening until I was certain. When the D.J. announced the third performer, I nearly spit out my drink, because it only added to my suspicions.

“Ladies and gentlemen, our next act tonight is everyone’s favorite raven-haired beauty. Please, welcome back to the stage our resident belly dancer, Lanaaaaaaaaa.”