By Your Side

“Seriously?” Dallin asked, having to move his shake and fries so they didn’t end up in his lap.

“Shove it,” I said, not caring for one second what he thought right now. Jeff laughed behind me.

It had taken me too long to get outside. The sidewalk was empty. I looked up and down the street out front, hoping there was a bus stop. I didn’t see one. Dax was nowhere in sight. I whirled around and rushed to the end of the building, then peered around the corner. Dax was there, leaning against the brick wall.

My breath caught in my throat and I stopped short of joining him, lingering just far enough away to be out of reach. “Hi,” I said.

“Hey. Thanks for coming out.”

I nodded and rubbed at the goose bumps that had sprung onto my arms. He shrugged out of his jacket and held it out for me.

“That’s okay. I’m good.” I wasn’t even sure how long I would be out here. I didn’t need to be wrapped in his scent while trying to think clearly.

He didn’t put his jacket back on, just clutched it in his grip. “I went to the game hoping to see you, but it wasn’t good timing. I knew you and your friends normally come here after a game, so I thought I’d come because I needed to talk to you. I feel . . .” He looked up at me instead of at the ground where he’d been staring. “I feel terrible for how I treated you the other day. I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I know you meant well. I want to say I acted that way because I was shocked to see my mom or that I was scared of how I was feeling about you, but there is no excuse for how I acted.”

“Thank you.” I wanted him to walk closer, to take the first step because I couldn’t. He’d hurt me and I was the one with the wall up now.

“I shouldn’t have kissed you.”

“What?”

“You warned me about what would happen if I kissed you and I didn’t listen.”

I gave a breathy laugh.

He smiled. It was a sad smile, not what I’d grown used to, but it still managed to twist my heart. “No, that’s a lie. I was attached before the kiss. Jeff really is a nice guy and one lucky SOB.”

A laugh burst out of me and I covered my mouth.

Dax pushed himself off the wall and I knew he was leaving now that he’d said his piece. I thought about letting him because the thought of that day in the car still physically hurt.

But I couldn’t. Even though I knew this might end in heartbreak, that he might make my life scary and complicated and unpredictable, I knew I couldn’t let him walk away. Because I knew he’d also make my life happy and comforting and full. “Jeff and I aren’t together.”

He stopped, one foot out in front of him, his hands still wrapped around his jacket. “You’re not?”

“Turns out I don’t follow rules either.”

“How so?”

“I became attached to someone I’d said I wouldn’t too.”

“I sure hope you mean me.”

I nodded. He took the three big steps to reach me and picked me up in a hug. I could feel his heart beating against my chest, fast and hard.

I closed my eyes and buried my face in the space between his shoulder and neck.

A shiver went down my spine, and he pulled away and wrapped his jacket around my shoulders, then pulled me close again, his lips millimeters from mine.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” I asked.

“What?”

“Commitment.”

He smiled. “You make it easy.”





CHAPTER 46


“You sure you want to go to this party? We don’t have to,” Dax said.

It was the next night, and Dax was in my room scrolling through pictures on my computer. He’d met my parents earlier. It went pretty well. It was more embarrassing than anything. My parents loved him. Fawned all over him, really. Mainly because of the whole rescuing-me-at-the-library scenario they had in their heads. And I wasn’t going to correct them, because he really had helped me in the library. I couldn’t imagine how much more panicked I would’ve been without him there.

My mom kept shaking his hand and saying, “It’s so great to meet you. So great.”

My dad said, “You two know each other from school, too?”

“Yes,” I said. “We go to the same school. We didn’t really know each other before the library, though.”

“And now you’re taking my daughter out?” my dad said with a smile. “The library brought you together.” Then he looked up like he was reading something written across the air in front of him. “‘Books, bringing people together.’ That would make a good slogan for the library.”

“I don’t think you’re the first to have thought of that one, Dad,” I said.

He smiled. “I think my daughter is saying that I’m not as much of a genius as I think I am.”

I patted his arm. “No, you’re definitely as much of a genius as you think you are.”

“Was that an insult?” he asked me, narrowing his eyes.

“I don’t think so,” I said.

He laughed.

“We’re going to go to my room now while I finish getting ready.”