He closed his eyes and I moved forward to meet him, then stopped. This wasn’t what I wanted. I was doing it again, trying to make someone else happy. We were so close that I had to put my finger on his lips to stop the kiss. “I can’t,” I whispered. “I don’t want this.”
He rested his forehead on mine instead. “It was worth a try.”
I backed away.
His eyes went over my shoulder, locking on something behind me. I looked as well but only saw the still-open door and his empty wheelchair.
“What is it?” I asked.
“It . . .” He shook his head. “Nothing. It was nothing.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t know what I wanted until now. And that I’ve been jerking you around for months,” I said, remembering what Dallin had told me before.
“Jerking me around?” he asked. “You weren’t. I think we were both testing our feelings. You just seemed to go the opposite way as me.”
I stared at him in front of me, so tall and strong and steady. “I’m glad you’re better, Jeff.”
“Me too.”
“Still friends?”
“Of course,” he said. “You think our other friends would leave the basketball game early with us to get milk shakes?”
“I think our friends do anything you say.”
“I thought so too, but you kind of proved that theory wrong tonight.” He smiled at me. “Or I can take you home. Would you rather go home?”
I thought about that, analyzed how I felt. A weight seemed to be lifted off my shoulders and chest, and I felt better than I had in a while. “No, I want to go to Iceberg.”
An hour later we were all sitting around a long table eating our shakes and fries at Iceberg. I tapped my cup on the table to get everyone’s attention. “Sorry I didn’t tell you all.”
Lisa put her hand on my arm. “You should’ve. We love you no matter what.” The rest of my friends called out saying various versions of that sentiment.
“Thank you.” It was hard to remember what I’d been so scared of. Being treated differently? Lack of acceptance? I was the one who hadn’t accepted myself for who I was. I was the one who needed to be comfortable in my own skin. I hoped I could do that moving forward.
Lisa cleared her throat from beside me and said under her breath, “Look who just walked in.”
I did look. It was Dax. I was stuck in the middle of the table on the bench side, unable to get out. Not that I was anxious to.
Dax walked by where the nine of us were sitting and up to the register.
“I have a confession to make,” Jeff said quietly from my other side.
“What?”
“He saw us earlier in the greenhouse.”
“What?”
“When we almost kissed. He probably thought we did kiss from that angle. I thought I was protecting you by not saying anything.”
“Protecting me?”
“I’ve heard rumors about him.”
“Jeff.” An anger rose up my chest.
“I know. Don’t be mad. I’m telling you now because I saw the way you looked at him when he walked in here. This is more than just a passing crush.”
Dax had paid for something that he held in a brown paper bag and was now headed for the door. I was stuck, two people on my right, two on my left.
“I have your back,” Jeff said, then he called out, “Dax!”
Dax turned and Jeff motioned him to come over. He did.
Jeff, unable to keep his jokester in check for long, said, as he threw his arm around my shoulder, “Were you looking at my girl?”
I elbowed him in the side and he laughed. I thought Dax would deny it, scoff at Jeff and leave, sensing he was the butt of some joke, but he stood his ground, met Jeff’s stare head on. “Yes. I was.”
That got the attention of everyone at the table, including me. But I wasn’t feeling exceptionally charitable toward Dax considering our last interaction.
“Glad you’re feeling better,” Dax said to Jeff. Then to me, “Glad everything is back to normal.”
I definitely didn’t owe Dax an explanation, not after how he’d treated me. A couple of weeks ago, regardless of what Dax had done, I’d have been tempted to explain everything, make sure he still liked me.
Instead of responding to his statement I said, “You’re still wearing your bracelet.” I had taken mine off after the fight we had in the car.
His eyes went to my bare wrist. “It reminds me of a relationship I don’t want to lose.”
My heart skipped a beat. “But you’ve branded yourself unattached,” I said. “Uncommitted.”
He nodded his head to me, then waved to the rest of the table. “See you all later.”
“Aren’t you going to go after him?” Lisa asked as Dax walked out the door.
I looked at the other faces of my friends, the ones who didn’t know my history with Dax. The ones whose looks only registered confusion. I wasn’t sure I wanted to go after him. I knew my heart was racing. I knew I cared about him. But the thought of letting him in again scared me.
“If you don’t, I might,” Jeff said. “That was hot.”
I laughed. “Let me out.” I needed to at least hear what he had to say. I pushed Lisa, and Avi beside her. They didn’t move fast enough, so I climbed over the top of the table.