“You didn’t want me to go inside and meet your family?” he asked.
“What? No, I did. I do. I’d love for you to meet them, but I needed to talk to you.”
“Pull over up here.” He gestured toward a business complex ahead. I pulled into the parking lot, coming to a stop in front of a dentist office.
“Did something happen? Is everything okay at the group home? Are you okay?” I slid closer and put my arms around his shoulders, brushed a kiss on his cheek. If he needed to get his mind off something, I would gladly help. I could use some mind clearing myself. He was as still as could be, not moving to welcome me in at all, not even uncrossing his arms from in front of his chest.
“Dax? What is it?” I pulled at his arms playfully.
“You saw my mom.”
“Oh.” Oh. All this rage was directed at me. I sank back into my own seat. Who had told him? I was supposed to be the one to tell him. I had the gentlest way possible planned out. “Yes?”
“You sent her my letter?”
“No . . . I didn’t. My mom did by accident. It had fallen out of the book. She saw it on the counter so she sent it. I’m so sorry.”
“But you just happened to have memorized the address on the envelope?”
“No, I put it in my phone when I found it because I was curious about where she lived. And then when the letter was sent . . . It probably sounds unbelievable but I promise it was not some preplanned plot or anything. It was all just a big accident.”
“But you preplan everything. Make rules for everything.”
“No, not everything.”
He wouldn’t look at me, just stared out the front windshield like it was all he could do to control his anger. “You getting in your car and driving to my mother’s house was an accident?”
“Well . . . not that part. By that time I was just trying to fix the mistake.”
“That was the mistake.”
“I know.” My chest was tight, my breath hard to come by. I did not want to use that as an excuse not to have this conversation, though, so I tried to hold myself together.
“Who told you?”
“She did.”
I gasped. “Your mom? She told you? She went to your house?”
“Yes. Letter in hand, telling me all about her new friend Autumn.”
“How did she find you?”
“Followed the address forwarding trail.”
“But she wasn’t supposed to do that. She said she just wanted to send you a letter with important stuff that you’d need to know about yourself. And she was going to wait until I got back to her. She was going to wait until I could talk to you first.”
“She lies. All the time. Whatever it takes to get what she wants.”
“I’m so sorry. I just wanted to fix things.”
“Why?” He finally looked at me and I wanted him to look away. There was so much hate there.
“I don’t know. I wanted to help.” A single tear spilled out and I wiped it away quickly. “She said she’d changed. I . . .” What was I thinking?
“I am not your secret little charity case, Autumn.”
“Secret? You’re not a secret.”
“Aren’t I, though?”
“I . . .” Not on purpose. I thought he hadn’t wanted to be seen with me at school. “I told Lisa about you . . . about us. And my brother.”
“Stay out of my business,” he said. “You said just a distraction. No attachments. This is way beyond attachment if you feel the need to try to fix my life.”
I nodded, more tears spilling over. “Don’t worry, you just cured me of any attachment.”
He opened the car door, got out, and slammed it behind him. Then he walked away. I stayed there, my heart hurting so bad it felt like someone was squeezing it in their fist. I didn’t leave until I calmed my racing heart and cried away all my tears and any feelings I had about Dax with them. Maybe he had done me a favor.
CHAPTER 44
The texting started the next morning as I lay in bed, taking a mental health day. Or maybe it was a broken heart day. Either way, I needed some time off, and my mom agreed.
Lisa: Where are you?
Me: Not feeling well, staying home for a couple of days.
Lisa: Oh no! Can I bring you soup?
Me: No, I’ll be better soon.
Lisa: Hopefully by this weekend because it should be epic.
Wednesday.
Jeff: I got out of the hospital today! Can you come see me? I’m bored.
Me: Congrats! I can’t come today. I stayed home from school. But maybe I’ll come by your house tomorrow.
Thursday.
Lisa: Are you still sick? I’ll wear a mask if you let me come visit.
Me: No mask needed. I’m feeling a lot better.
Lisa: Yay! Just in time for the basketball game tomorrow.
Me: Not sure if I’m going to that.
Lisa: Jeff will be there.
Me: Is Dallin still throwing him the party on Saturday?
Lisa: Yes.
Me: I’ll try to come to that. I’ll probably skip the basketball game.
Lisa: Why?
Me: Believe me, it’s a good choice.
A couple of hours later as I lay wrapped in my down comforter watching a movie, I got another text.
Jeff: I thought you were coming over today.
Me: Stayed home again.
Jeff: You okay?