Twenty
Tessa rolled over in bed, finding the other side completely empty. Darkness enveloped the room, and she glanced at the clock on the nightstand. Nearly one in the morning.
Where was Grant?
Grabbing the throw that was folded at the bottom of the bed, Tessa wrapped it around herself and padded carefully through the spacious master suite. The double doors on the far wall were cracked, and when she peeked through, she saw Grant standing against the railing, the full moon casting him in a soft glow.
Easing one of the doors open, she made her way out into the cool night, then stopped. What if he wanted to be alone? Maybe he’d come out here to think? Just because they shared a bed didn’t mean she had the right to invade his privacy.
She’d barely turned to go back inside when his voice cut through the night.
“Stay.”
Tessa froze. When he didn’t turn, didn’t say anything else, she adjusted the throw around her and walked toward him. Pressing her back to the rail, she settled next to him. But when she looked up at him and saw anguish in those once-sultry eyes, worry consumed her.
“You had another nightmare?” she asked.
Grant’s eyes remained fixed on something in the distance, almost as if he was watching whatever nightmare that plagued him unfold. Tessa didn’t say another word. He’d told her to stay. Maybe he didn’t want to talk, but he obviously didn’t want to be alone. That in and of itself was a huge step up from his last nightmare.
“My sister is paralyzed from the waist down because of me.”
That statement, in his rough, throaty tone, had Tessa locking her eyes on his, waiting for him to elaborate.
“We used to take riding lessons,” he went on, still staring out into the night, as if he was talking to himself. “Melanie loved horses. As a little girl she would wear cowgirl boots with everything, even her nightgown. She loved everything about horses.
“We took lessons, and we were pretty damn good. I ended up quitting because of sports and girls, but Melanie kept at it. I supported her, and she always came to all my games. We were just...there for each other, you know?”
From Tessa’s angle she could see moisture gathering in his eyes. Her heart ached for him, for the battle he’d fought with himself and for the demons he’d carried for so long.
“One day I went with her to the barn. We lived in Kentucky and had several acres. Nothing major, but enough for a barn and a couple horses. We’d just graduated the week before, and she would be off to college in the fall for equine studies. I was ready to move to L.A. and hit film school.”
Grant gripped the rail, dropped his head forward and sighed. “I ruined her life, Tessa. I made her race me, knowing the horse she was on was new, knowing it was skittish and rebellious.
“My horse spooked hers when I came up behind them, and the thing took off. Melanie started screaming, calling out commands, but the stallion kept going. I can’t...I can’t get that image out of my brain.”
He lifted his head, turned his face toward hers, and Tessa couldn’t help but reach for him. She rested a hand on his bare arm and waited for him to go on.
“When I kicked my horse to go faster, that scared hers even more and he bucked. She fell off the back and...”
His eyes closed, as if he was trying to block out the memory. A moment later he drew in a deep breath and focused his gaze back on hers.
“I don’t know what I thought I could do, but I just wanted to get up beside her, to help somehow. But I ended up doing so much more harm than good.
“Now you know why I’m so leery at the stables, why I freaked out when you fell. I couldn’t live through that again, Tessa.”
“What does your sister think of you working on this film?” she asked.
Grant shrugged. “I haven’t talked to her since I left for film school. After the accident, she had surgeries and therapy, but the doctors told us the chance of her walking or using her legs again were slim to none. After a couple months, I couldn’t handle it anymore. I couldn’t look at her because guilt would eat at me. She should hate me, should curse me every day of her life. I stole everything from her, Tessa.”
Tessa’s heart broke for this man. “Don’t you think you hurt her even more by shutting her out? She’s your twin, right? I’m sure you two shared a special bond before the accident. You think because she is in a wheelchair that she doesn’t love you?”
“She shouldn’t.”
Grant stepped away and turned his back on Tessa. Oh, hell no. He wasn’t shutting her out, too. Not after this revelation. Not when his hurt was threatening to become a wedge between them.
“You’re not a one-man show, Grant. You don’t need to tackle everything alone. Talk to me. You opened up to me for a reason. Let me help.”
He whirled on her, arms flying. “Help? What can you help do, Tessa? I ruined her life. And I’m telling you because I want you to know the real me. The uglier side, the damaged side. I want you to see that I have issues, I have fears, and they all stem from the world you live in. I’ve been able to keep my distance for the most part, but the more involved with you I get, the more immersed in that world I find myself. I’m terrified. The more I’m with you, the harder it is to keep my emotions under control.”
His last two words were whispered, and the weight of his statement crushed her. He was right. Horses, racing, fast speeds were all part of her world...the only world she knew and a world he wanted no part of. And another reason he’d chosen to be so secretive. Coming out in the open about his feelings would only make him force things he just didn’t know if he could face.
“Accidents happen, Grant,” she assured him. “People can be injured anytime, anywhere. I could be put in a wheelchair by falling down steps or being in a car accident. Don’t let that fear control you. Don’t you think it’s held on to your life long enough?”
“But I caused this accident and the result is crippling.” His eyes sought hers as he raked a hand over his messed hair. “I needed you to know. I couldn’t keep this inside anymore...not with you.”
“Why now? Why let me in now?”
He closed the space between them, lifting his palms against her cheeks and framing her face. “Because I’m falling in love with you, Tessa.”
Her heart caught in her throat. “You’re... Are you serious?”
A ghost of a smile danced across his face. “I am. But I need you to know why I worry. Your world revolves around this lifestyle that threatens to consume me at times.”
“I don’t think you’d be as stressed and controlled by this fear if you’d talk to your sister,” Tessa told him, reaching up to hold on to his wrists. “What do your parents say?”
“They’re always trying to get me to come home. I’ve been able to avoid it over the years by flying them out to see me. I just don’t know that I can face Melanie.”
“Maybe we could face her together?”
Grant’s eyes widened. “No. I’m not putting this on you.”
“You didn’t put this on me,” she countered with a smile. “Maybe I want to help, because I’ve fallen in love with you, too.”
He nipped at her lips once more. “I know. I knew when you came to my cottage, ready to seduce me. I knew you’d never give yourself to someone you didn’t love.”
“I did love you then,” she admitted. “I had barely admitted it to myself. I actually kept trying to deny it, but there’s no fighting such a strong emotion. I never had a clue love could be so all-encompassing.”
Worry lines settled between his brows. “How will this work? I mean, I still can’t publicly be with you until this film is over. I live in L.A. and you live in Virginia.”
Tessa nodded. “There’s a lot against us. We’ll just have to find a way.”
Grant wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close. Inhaling his warm, masculine scent, Tessa tried to relax. They had to make this work. She’d given up too much of herself to accept anything less.
“Don’t worry, Tessa,” he whispered. “No matter what I have to do, we will find a way.”
She clung to the man, the promise, and the hope for their future. Because she’d never fully loved like this before, and this unchartered territory scared her to death.
* * *
As much as Tessa hated to have the magical weekend come to an end, she knew it was time for them both to get back to work. After all, the sooner Grant wrapped up the film, the sooner they could go public with their relationship.
She loved that term in regards to what she and Grant had. For the first time in her life, she truly felt she was on the right path with the right man. And she couldn’t help but think her mother was smiling down on her with approval. Tessa only wished her mom was here in person to share in their happiness.
“Will we be able to visit your mountain again?” Tessa asked as Grant escorted her to the awaiting car, driven by their one and only accomplice, Cassie.
Tessa had simply told her father she was taking a couple days off to go visit a friend. Damon Barrington was a smart man and more than likely knew what was up, but he didn’t say a word.
“Anytime, babe.”
“Well, looks like the getaway agreed with you two,” Cassie told them. “I’m glad you’re back, though.”
“Something wrong?” Tessa asked, as Grant put their bags in the trunk.
Her sister’s eyes were shielded by her sunglasses, so Tessa couldn’t get a feel for what was going on. The wind on the tarmac whipped Cassie’s red hair about her shoulders.
“Aaron called me while you were gone.”
Tessa froze.
“The ex?” Grant asked, placing his hand on the small of Tessa’s back as if to stake his claim.
Cassie nodded, reaching back to control her hair in the strong breeze. “He informed me you’ve been ignoring his calls. I told him you were busy working, and I may have...”
“What?” Tessa asked.
“I may have said you were seeing someone.”
Grant swore, and Tessa groaned. “Oh, Cass.”
“Wait,” Grant said after a moment. “Did you tell him my name?”
Cassie shook her head. “No. I’ve not told anybody. I just said that so he’d know you’ve moved on.”
Grant rubbed his hand along Tessa’s back. “It’s okay, then. As long as he doesn’t know who, I’m safe, and hopefully, he’ll see she’s not available.”
Tessa jerked on the car handle. “I wasn’t available to that jerk even before you came along, Slick. He had his chance, and forgiveness is not an option.”
Grant smacked a kiss on her lips. “Hopefully, he’s done calling.”
While Cassie got into the driver’s seat, Tessa settled in the back next to Grant. These were their last few moments of freedom before he headed back to working on the film. He’d still come to her house, but she absolutely couldn’t wait to be his, in public, without the sneaking around. Although sneaking did have a certain naughty appeal.
“I want to be able to see all hands at all times back there,” Cassie called back as she pulled out onto the main road. “I don’t play chauffeur to just anybody.”
“We appreciate all you’ve done,” Grant said, draping an arm around Tessa’s shoulders.
“I’m just glad my sister is happy.”
They chatted about the upcoming race in Louisville and strategy. Tessa couldn’t wait to get to the race, couldn’t wait to see that blanket of roses draped across Don Pedro. He deserved the win for all his hard work, too.
“I love the Shakespearean names, by the way,” Grant interjected at one point.
She caught her sister’s eye in the rearview mirror. “Well, we have a little difference of opinion when it comes to their names,” Tessa stated. “She’s more pessimistic than I am. Mine are Don Pedro and Oliver, but Cassie’s newest rescue is Macduff.”
From the front seat Cassie laughed. “He may be the hero in Macbeth, but he’s a killer in the end.”
Grant chuckled. “So Tessa is the romantic and you’re the more...cynical sister?”
“I prefer to think realistic,” Cassie said, throwing a smile over her shoulder.
Tessa knew Cass had had a bad time after her ex left, so she could hardly fault her for being so bitter. Poor Macduff, he’d just have to live with the name.
Cassie dropped Tessa off first, so Grant could properly kiss her goodbye without prying eyes.
“See you in my room tonight,” she murmured against his lips.
“Leave the back door unlocked for me,” he told her as he pulled her bag from the trunk.
After grabbing the suitcase and waving them off, Tessa drew her keys from her purse and let herself into her house, smiling as she closed the door behind her.
“When you move on, you really move on.”
She jerked around, heart pounding, to find Aaron comfortable as you please in her living room, sprawled out on her sofa.
“What are you doing here?” she exclaimed, remaining by the door, trying to order her heart rate to calm. The unexpected visitor had scared her to death.
Rising to his feet, Aaron crossed the floor and narrowed the gap between them. At one time she would’ve been excited to see him. At one time she’d thought herself in love and ready to accept his ring.
Right now all she felt was anger and a sense of being violated. He’d already tried to use her, and spread rumors of cheating and using illegal drugs for her horses, a fact that was quickly disputed. Did he honestly believe she’d invite him into her home?
“How did you get in here?” she asked.
“I came to see you,” he told her, as if this was a perfectly normal visit. “You wouldn’t return my texts or calls. Cassie was of no help when I talked to her the other day, and I wasn’t able to get away from the city until now. She told me you’d moved on, but I knew once I came back and explained how wrong I was, and how sorry I am for hurting you, you’d see that we belong together.”
Tessa laughed, crossing her arms over her chest. “Seeing you only makes me hate you more for how you treated me. How the hell did you get in?”
“The spare key you have hidden outside.”
She made a mental note to move the thing the second he was gone. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought he’d use it.
“Get out, Aaron,” she told him with a sigh. “You wasted your time coming here.”
“Because you were locking lips with the famous Grant Carter?”
Damn it. He couldn’t know that. Of all people, he would use that against her, for no other reason than spite.
“Anything in my life, personal or otherwise, is absolutely none of your business. Now get out or I’ll call the cops and have you arrested for trespassing.”
His hand came up and caressed her cheek. Tessa stepped back and swatted it away. “Don’t,” she told him in her lowest tone.
“I made a mistake, Tessa. I know I used you, I know I hurt you, but I want to make this work.”
Resisting the urge to roll her eyes, she shook her head and jerked her front door open. “There is no ‘this’ to work on. You treated me badly, I dumped you, it’s over. Now, I have work to do.”
Before she could react, Aaron reached out, wrapped his hand around her arm and jerked her toward his chest.
“You seriously think I’ll just walk out of here? We belong together, Tessa.”
She was too angry to be scared of his strong grip, of his harsh tone. “Get your hand off me.”
“Was I not good enough for the almighty Barrington princess? You claimed you hated city life when I tried to get you to move. What do you think that hotshot will do, huh? Do you think he’ll move here and settle in the country with you?”
Tessa said nothing as she tried to break his strong grasp.
“He has a reputation, you know,” Aaron went on. “He’s a player, Tessa.”
“At least he doesn’t manhandle me.”
Aaron gave her arm a good squeeze as he shoved her away. “You’ll regret leaving me. That’s a promise.”
When he walked out the door, Tessa’s level of fear spiked. She didn’t take well to threats, especially just before her biggest season.
What had he wanted from her? Did he not get the message the first time, when she’d told him she never wanted to see him again?
He’d been with her for her family’s name, for their wealth. She’d been gullible once, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to be that way again.
No matter what Grant’s reputation was in the past, Tessa knew better now. He’d told her he loved her, and she fully believed him.
Rubbing the tender skin on her arm, where bruises were already forming, Tessa closed the front door and locked it. A car flashed by the side window and sped down her driveway. Obviously, he’d parked behind the garage, where she couldn’t see it. Jerk.
Nothing could get in the way of her racing season or her new relationship with Grant.
But he needed to know about this unexpected visit. If Aaron let this secret slip, it could destroy Grant’s future, damage his career.
She needed to focus solely on the race, but right now she had to shift focus to Grant and keeping him safe.