The Wolfs Maine

The Wolfs Maine - By Jinni James

Chapter One

I knew I was dreaming. There was no other explanation as to why I was in the woods somewhere surrounded by trees, darkness, and a trail that obviously leads to nowhere. I feel like I have been walking for hours, although in reality it’s probably only been five minutes. What could I be searching for? All I know is I have to keep walking, the trail has to lead to somewhere or something.

As I’m walking I look around and the trees look almost mystical. There is a quiet calm about them that almost creeps me out. Just like that, I realize someone is watching me. I look around but I see no one. As far as I can tell it is just me and the trees out here, but I can’t fight the feeling that someone is definitely watching me. I feel the goose bumps on my arm as I look to my right I see it. In the bushes behind the trees there are two yellow eyes staring at me. I begin to walk over and that is when I wake up.

“Avalon! What are you doing? You practically jumped out of the bed and not to mention woke me up and I have a big meeting in the morning!”

I could always count on Nicholas for comfort.

“I’m sorry. I was having a bad dream.”

“Well, go sleep on the couch and maybe then I’ll get some sleep. I have to wake up in 3 hours.”

Apparently I have been having these dreams for months now and have constantly awoken my darling live in boyfriend. He has blamed quite a few mishaps at work on me as of late because he isn’t getting his eight full hours of sleep every night.

Him and his work, you would have thought he married it because being a software developer is all that matters in his world. I’m not even sure why I’m a part of his life other than my aunt and his parents pushed us together thinking we would be a good fit. We were for a while, but his career always comes first, as I am trying to stand on my own two feet and become an author but his career means more than mine at the moment.

Willingly, I go to the couch but of course I can’t go back to sleep. Every day is the same thing and every night as well. I wake up half an hour before Nicholas so I can fix his coffee and shake him awake, lay out his clothes then shake him again, turn on his shower and get it where he likes it, before finally shoving him out of bed with his coffee and his cigarette. Once he is out of bed he drinks his coffee, smokes his cigarette, showers, puts on his clothes and jumps in his car and goes to work while I attempt to get a couple more hours of sleep. Sometimes it works and sometimes it does not. I then get up and clean the house, figure out dinner, and try to write.

So far my book is up to ten-thousand words but it seems as though I have hit a wall. I have had a bad case of writers block for a couple months, in fact it was around the time those dreams started. Maybe those dreams are just my mind trying break through that wall? Who knows, right now I just know I need some sleep.

As I try to lie back down I just see those eyes again staring at me and decide to get up. Once again I open up my computer and try to write but nothing is coming to me…absolutely, nothing. How do other authors write? Other authors can write multiple books about one thing. I can’t even imagine writing multiple books with the same characters. Maybe their lives are more eventful than mine. I mean, how can I write about anything when my life is so incredibly boring? I live the same day over and over again just like that old movie Groundhog Day. There is nothing special, nothing exciting, just the same old thing day in and day out.

Sometimes I feel like an old maid in more ways than one. I can’t even remember the last time Nicholas even touched me. When he is home he is eating, working, or sleeping. Every time I try to touch him I get the same old response, ‘I’m exhausted. I don’t have time for this.’ What husband says that to his wife every single time? I’ve often wondered if he was sleeping with another woman but honestly he barely has time to eat. I can’t imagine him running off with some woman for sex. Plus, if he was having sex I would think he would be in a much better mood all the time instead of the same old sour puss I see every day. I almost wish he was sleeping around just to have him in a better mood. He is always so grumpy and starts arguments over anything and everything he can think of. He has the worst temper I have ever seen, even worse when he’s been drinking which he does a lot of. I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells in my own home. What am I to do though? Nicholas won’t leave me. He has threatened not only my life but my aunt and friends as well if I try to leave. I never understood why. Maybe he likes having that control over me? Maybe he likes having me stuck and having to rely on him? I don’t know. I absolutely hate living in fear in my own house, or I should say his house because I am just lucky enough that I get to live here.

So I just bite my tongue and live my life one day at a time. The more I think about my life the more tired I become and decide to lie down and salvage what’s left of the night. Maybe that dream is gone? Maybe it has vanished somewhere in the back of my mind? I hope.

The next morning I wake and get my usual routine out of the way and ship Nicholas off to work. I finally sit at the computer and attempt to write yet again. I get about a thousand words in when I just can’t think anymore and delete everything I have just written. I have no motivation for writing. I feel so alone and disconnected to everything. What I wouldn’t give for a love like I read about in other’s books. I just want someone to love me, to want me, to protect me. If only that kind of love could exist for me.

A knock on my door startles me out of my misery and my best friend Jaci, walks in. Jaci looks as beautiful as always. I don’t think she has ever had one bad looking day. She looks like a model. Long legs, long torso, and long beautiful blonde hair and of course the blue eyes to go with it. She is one of those women you would love to hate but her beautiful personality proves she’s not like most girls who look the way she does. She is a wonderful friend and would bend over backwards to help if you needed it. I was truly lucky and blessed to have a friend like her.

“What’s up Ava? I brought you a Starbucks. Grande vanilla latte with whipped cream like always. Will you ever drink anything else? You know they carry all kinds of coffees?” I smile. I can’t help but smile when she is around.

“Nope, sorry. I love my vanilla lattes. Why try something else when I have the perfect one already?”

She looks at me with that silly grin on her face,

“Like men?”

“I don’t have the perfect man Jaci. I don’t know what that would even be like.”

“I know stupid but once you do find your prince you sure as hell won’t go back to kissing frogs.” Yes, Jaci always knew the things to say to get a laugh out of me.

“Touché.”

“Speaking of which, Ava, have you heard from that hot man that you’ve been talking to forever?”

“I haven’t been talking to him forever. It’s only been a year and I have never even met the guy.”

“But you like him.”

“I don’t like him. I don’t even know him.”

“Oh please. I see the way your face lights up when you talk about him or I mention him. You like him. Ava has a virtual crush.”

I sigh and I can’t help but smile as John pops in my head. John and I met on one of those social networking sites and just got to talking and haven’t stopped since. Before we knew it a year had gone by and still, I honestly don’t know him, or I should say I know him but I’ve never met him. I’ve thought about it and dreamed about it but I have never actually done it.

All I knew about him was he is very handsome, six feet tall, short dark hair that sometimes falls in his eyes which seem to look gray in most of his pictures, and he is built. He is a very successful business man who has never been married and has no children. Other than that we just talk normal every day talk and sometimes he talks about his work and we talk about my writing. He hasn’t once talked about a woman he was dating. I’m not sure if he has even dated anyone since we have been talking. We talk about my marriage occasionally but I try to change the subject every time. He seems to be there for me more than my own husband which should tell me something.

“See! You’re lighting up now! Your thinking about him, are you not?” Jaci’s voice interrupted my thoughts as usual.

“No.”

“Don’t lie to me Ava! You suck at lying anyway. What were you thinking?”

“Nothing. I was just thinking about him in general. Can we please talk about something else? How is your work going?”

“Ugh, I did not come over here to talk about work.”

“Okay Jaci, what did you come over here for?” I asked as I stared at her waiting for her answer.

“I want us to go out one night. We can grab Lena and go out dancing. It will be so much fun and it will get you out of your funk. Who knows, maybe it’s what you need to open that door that has shut in your head so you may actually write.” I can’t deny that it sounds like a wonderful idea. I haven’t been out with my girlfriends in years. Nicholas shouldn’t care if I go.

“Sounds good Jaci. Let me run it by Nicholas and I will let you know.”

“Why do you have to run it by Nick? Is he your dad now?”

“You know damn well how he is. I can’t just go out without at least telling him first.” I responded, slightly irritated.

“Okay okay. Check with the warden and text me later. I’ve got to run; I’m already late for work. Love ya!” With a wink she skips out the door. A night out with my friends may be exactly what I need. A few drinks and some dancing sure would be nice. Now if only Nicholas would let me. I go ahead and send Nicholas an email letting him know the plans and seeing if he minds me going out. Emailing him is always easier since he gets mad if I call him at work. I decide to check my other emails while I wait on his response and there is an email from John. I click on it immediately feeling a smile is creeping up on my face and begin to read:



Ava,

How are you dear? I have missed talking to you. I am sorry I have been so busy with work and everything. I feel as though I haven’t talked to you in weeks even though it’s only been a day or two but that feels like a very long time when it comes to you. I really wish you would reconsider meeting me in person. I promise I will behave, I just want to see you and yes I know your married and you’re not supposed to meet strange men but live a little Ava. We both know you don’t have a real marriage, let me give you what he can’t. Meet me. Just tell me and I will be there. If not that is Okay too. I hope you know what you mean to me.

Always,

John.



He takes my breath away. With one email he can take my breath away, how does he do that? Should I reconsider meeting him? He brought up the subject of meeting each other off and on throughout the year but lately he’s been bringing it up more. A part of me wants to meet him so bad but the other part worries about Nicholas. It doesn’t take a genius to realize that John and I are attracted to each other with all the flirting that goes on between us, but I still don’t know if I want to take the chance. If Nicholas found out he would kill me, or worse kill John and I couldn’t live with myself then. I wish something or someone would just tell me what to do. Just then I receive an email back from Nicholas.



Fine! Go out with your friends. Maybe I’ll be able to get a good night sleep then. Try not to wake me when you get home and have dinner waiting for me. I won’t have time to fix anything myself.



Fix dinner for himself? He has never fixed dinner for himself ever. I doubt the man even knows how to use the oven. I text Jaci and let her know that the night out is on and I would be ready by six o’clock. I got a text back that said and I quote, “It’s on.” Then I decide to write John back.





John,

I’m just not sure if meeting each other in person is the best idea. What if anyone found out? What if Nicholas found out and killed you or us both? I will think about it but I just don’t know right now. I miss you too and I want to see you. This is so frustrating you know? Anyway, I need to go and get a nap in before I go out with my girlfriends tonight!

Always,

Ava.



I figure I better lay down and get a few hours of sleep before I go out on the town. It’s been years since I’ve been out like that and I doubt I would be able to stay awake if I did not at least try to get in a cat nap. I hear my phone within five minutes of lying down and it’s John.

“Going out huh?! That’s a first! I hope you have a good time tonight. Sweet Dreams.”

Before I know it I’m drifting off to sleep. I find myself in that dream again only this time I know what I’m trying to find, it’s John. I keep walking and looking and can see him but the more I walk the further away he gets.

I look over and those yellow eyes are watching every step I take, but all I can think of is getting to John. I begin to run towards him, every breath beginning to feel like it’s shredding my chest until I finally run into him. He holds me with his strong arms, vowing to not let me go and all I can hear is him telling me to breath and then I feel something change. It’s John. He is disappearing or not disappearing but changing into something else, something soft. The next thing I know he is gone along with the yellow eyes that were following me and all I hear is a howling in the distance. I wake up breathless.