The Paper Swan

“This is worth a lot of money,” I said.

 

He didn’t seem to care. Then the indifference left him. His whole body stiffened and he took his cap off. It was an odd gesture, the kind of thing a man does when he’s informed of someone’s death. Or maybe he did it out of reverence, like when you’re standing in front of something big and beautiful and holy. Either way, he reached for it, very slowly, until it was swinging from his hand.

 

He held it up to the light and for the first time, I saw his eyes. They were dark. Black. But the kind of black that I’d never seen before. Black was One. There were no shades to black. Black was absolute, impenetrable. Black absorbed all the colors. If you fell into black, it swallowed you whole. Yet here was a different kind of black. It was black ice and burning coal. It was well-water and desert night. It was dark tempest and glassy calm. It was Black battling Black, opposite and polar, and yet still . . . all black.

 

I could see my mother’s necklace suspended in Damian’s eyes. It reminded me of what it’s like to stand between two mirrors, staring at the seemingly endless line of images fading into the distance. There was something in his eyes, in his face that I couldn’t place. He seemed mesmerized by the locket, like he’d fallen into some kind of a daze.

 

He had a chink in his armor after all.

 

“There’s more where that came from,” I said.

 

He tore his eyes away from the necklace and looked at me. Then he grabbed me by the arm, dragged me through the galley, up a short set of stairs, and onto the deck. I stumbled after him, my legs still wobbly and weak.

 

“You see this?” He gestured around us.

 

We were in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by miles and miles of dark, rolling water.

 

“This,” he continued, pointing at the ocean, “doesn’t give a fuck about this.” He shook the necklace in front of my face. Your gems are nothing but washed up grit to me. “Pity,” he said more softly, holding the locket up to the sun. “Such a pretty little thing.”

 

My father couldn’t decide what color of stone to get my mother. He told me he had chosen alexandrites because they were like the rainbow. They went through dramatic shifts in color depending on the light. Indoors, they looked reddish purple, but here in the sun, they sparkled with a bright, greenish hue. Their light glinted off Damian’s face.

 

“Such a pretty little thing,” he repeated quietly, almost sadly.

 

“The stones are very rare. The pearl too. You’d never want for anything. You could go anywhere. Disappear. Do whatever you like. And if you want more—”

 

“How much do you think your life is worth, Skye Sedgewick?”

 

He knew my name. Of course he knew my name. He’d probably ransacked my handbag. That, or he’d been stalking me, in which case this was a deliberate act, not some random abduction.

 

“How much do think my life is worth,” he asked, holding up the locket again. “The length of this chain? The pearl? These two rare stones?” He looked at me, but I had no answer.

 

“Have you ever held a life in your hands?” He dropped the locket in my hand and closed my fingers around it. “Here, feel it.”

 

He was nuts. Stark-raving nuts.

 

“Do you know how easy it is to destroy a life?” He took the necklace from me and slowly, deliberately, dropped it.

 

It fell by his feet. He played with it for a while, sliding it back and forth over the smooth deck, with the toe of his shoe.

 

“It’s really, ridiculously easy.” He stepped on the necklace and ground down with his heel, all the while looking at me.

 

The glass started cracking under his weight.

 

“Don’t,” I said. “It’s the only thing that’s left of my mother.”

 

“It was,” he replied, not letting up until the locket shattered.

 

The way he said ‘was’ creeped me out.

 

It was.

 

I was.

 

Things that came on board.

 

Things that never left intact.

 

He picked up the broken keepsake and examined it.

 

I felt a rush of triumph because the stones and pearl remained unscathed. Of course they did. It must have shown on my face because he grabbed my neck and squeezed so hard, I was gasping for air.

 

“Did you love your mother?” he asked, finally letting go.

 

I bent over, trying to catch my breath. “I never got to know her.”

 

Damian walked to the railing and held the necklace over the water. I watched, still on my knees, as it floated in the wind. I knew what he was going to do, but I couldn’t look away.

 

“Ashes to ashes . . . ,” he said, as he dropped it into the ocean.

 

Leylah Attar's books