Passing as Elias

chapter Seven

Merrill’s Problem

On the Monday, Merrill was perfectly normal once again. She did not indicate that she had had any encounter with the female Elizabeth. Though she did seem a little bit sad throughout the day. Elizabeth did not know when to bring the subject up. She liked Merrill a lot, and wanted to make sure everything was all right, but did not want to appear nosy. She also worried that Merrill might find Elizabeth’s resemblance to Elias a bit too uncanny.

Finally, at six o’clock when the door was locked, Elizabeth announced that she would be staying in the laboratory for another few hours to work on some commissions for their clients.

‘I shall stay too.’ Merrill insisted.

‘There is no need.’ Elizabeth waved a hand as they ventured into the back room.

‘I would be interesting to see you working, Sir. You are most clever. I do not understand these things at all.’

Elizabeth frowned, ‘you will be extremely bored, Merrill.’

‘Maybe I can help?’ She had an anxious look upon her face.

Elizabeth sighed, and sat down at her desk, ‘Merrill, My sister told me that you came to the house on Saturday night.’ The words felt odd as they left her lips.

‘I thought she might Sir. She was ever so kind.’

‘She said you were distressed-’

‘Oh. Just a rough night, I guess.’

‘-And mentioned you were looking for me?’

Merrill did not respond to this. Instead she looked at her feet.

‘If there is something wrong, you can tell me. As your employer, your safety is in my best interest.’

‘I did not know who else to go to, Mister Searson.’ Merrill said, her voice suddenly breaking with emotion, ‘I was so confused, running down the street, until I realized I was only a minute from your house. I thought I might hide inside until …’ She broke off.

‘You were hiding from your father.’

‘Aye, Sir.’ She covered her face with her hands, and seemed quite distressed.

‘You can tell me.’ Elizabeth said, thirsty for the knowledge that had upset Merrill.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Merrill said, ‘I got home on Saturday evening, and I walked into the sitting room. My Ma and Pa were there, talking with an older couple who I had never met before. Pa introduced me, and said he worked with the gentleman and his son. Their son was there too, standing by the window. He looked perhaps thirty. I was polite, of course, as I did not know what they had been talking about. Then Pa told me they had been discussing arrangements regarding my marriage to this … this man. Said they had been working on a deal with this couple to see me betrothed to their son.’

Elizabeth felt a strange burning sensation in the pit of her stomach, not unlike that of immense hatred and jealousy. Yet how could she hate an entire family without ever meeting them?

‘Their son, John I think his name was … he walked over and kissed my hand. He was dark, tall, broad shouldered, and smelled stale.’ She frowned.

Elizabeth felt immense dislike for this John character.

‘My Pa,’ Merrill said, suddenly angry, ‘He has betrothed me to this stranger out of convenience for our family. He said I would do him proud to marry John Blanc for he was a successful businessman, and I would put our family in a better position for it.’

Merrill’s fury subsided and she avoided Elizabeth gaze, ‘I thought I might be able to seek your council. I ran from the house, and sought your residence.’

Merrill’s shoulders trembled as she broke down into tears, and Elizabeth was so utterly shocked that she did not know what to do. Here was a seventeen-year-old girl, sobbing before her, because her father had bargained with a wealthy family over the liberty of his daughter.

Elizabeth took an almost clean handkerchief from her sleeve and handed it to Merrill, who accepted it with a sniff, and dabbed her eyes.

Elizabeth was not quite sure what to do, so she rubbed Merrill’s arm in what she hoped was a soothing manner.

‘It is all right, Merrill.’ Elizabeth cooed, ‘I will help you in any way that I can.’

Merrill broke down into fresh sobs and launched herself at Elizabeth, crying into her chest. Elizabeth, completely taken-aback by this fresh wave of emotion, patted Merrill’s hair awkwardly. She did indeed feel quite protective of Merrill despite the fact that she had only known her a week. In many ways Merrill was a lot like Elizabeth had been at seventeen. However she could not explain the immense jealousy that had taken over when she had heard of this John person. Perhaps she did not like the idea of losing her first employee to a man.

‘I am sorry, Sir.’ She said once she had gained control over herself, ‘I am not usually this mad, I promise.’

‘I do not think you are mad.’ Elizabeth gave a small smile as Merrill relinquished her hold upon her.

‘You are so kind.’ Merrill said, ‘I know I keep saying it, Sir, but I have never met a man like you.’

Elizabeth’s mouth twitched. No, Merrill had not met a man like Elizabeth before. How many men had breasts that were strapped down with linen, and socks packed into their breeches?

‘I believe women deserve to have every right a man does.’ Elizabeth said, ‘my sister … she has had some troubles because of her gender. ‘

‘Has she, Sir?’

‘Oh yes. Our mother wanted her to marry very badly.’ Elizabeth said, ‘But she is a very clever woman, my sister, and wanted a career. She did not wish to be a housewife.’

‘What did she do?’ Merrill whispered.

Elizabeth could not tell the truth, ‘She … she met a man. They got married not two months ago.’

Merrill’s face fell, and Elizabeth knew she had been expecting a story of a woman’s successful battle against repression. Yet Elizabeth could not reveal the true story for it would lead to this very apothecary, and Merrill would know the true nature of who stood before her.

‘But that is not important.’ Elizabeth waved a hand impatiently, ‘what is important is that you do not do as you are told. You are your own boss, and you must make your own decisions in life otherwise you will regret it forever. Could you really imagine yourself laying with this man on your wedding night … a complete stranger?’ Elizabeth did not know why, but she wanted to steer Merrill far away from this betrothal.

Merrill gave a shudder, ‘No, Sir. I do not wish to think of it.’

‘Then you shall not marry.’

‘I think I would like to get married one day, Sir.’ Merrill gave a small shrug, ‘But I would like to decide when, and to whom.’

‘And so you shall.’ Elizabeth insisted, making Merrill smile.

‘Thank you, Sir, but what shall I tell my father? His colleagues would be so displeased to hear the news. I fear it might shame him if I refused.’

Elizabeth did not know the answer to this question. Her mother had never forced marriage upon her – only nagged about it. Elizabeth had ultimately decided to marry in order to reopen the apothecary.

‘I do not know what is best for you, Merrill.’ Elizabeth said putting her hands into her pockets, ‘That is for you to decide.’

‘With the coin you pay me sir, I think I might afford to live on my own.’ She smiled.

‘I should hope so.’

Merrill paused, ‘I was right in assuming you to be a modern thinker, Sir.’

‘It is only natural for me to think of women as equal to men, Merrill. I hope you shall look for that trait in the man you wish to marry.’

‘I think I shall.’

~

Elizabeth decided that she should frequent the Upper Baggot Street Inn at least once a week to observe the behavior of the men there. She watched carefully how the men stood, how they talked, and carried themselves. More than once, an older woman approached Elizabeth with sexual propositions, but Elizabeth kindly turned them down. The barmaid came to recognize Elizabeth after a few visits, and accepted the fact that ‘he’ was a little bit odd. The truth was though, Elizabeth was learning a lot from the men at the Inn. She learnt how to stand, and how to talk, and thought that she was becoming more convincing every day. She was also beginning to enjoy the mead quite a lot.

One afternoon, however, Elizabeth was taken by surprise when Merrill turned up one night after work. Merrill spotted Elizabeth at the bar and made her way over at once. Many men stared at Merrill as she walked through the pub, and this annoyed Elizabeth for some reason. She had already had a pint by this time, and her tongue felt quite loose.

‘Mister Searson!’ Merrill said, ‘What a place to find you, Sir.’

‘Did you follow me here, Merrill?’ Elizabeth said slyly.

‘Never, sir.’ She gave him a slap on the arm.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, giving Merrill a skeptical look.

‘Oh, all right.’ Merrill said sheepishly, ‘I wondered what you liked about this place so much.’

‘Would you care for a beverage?’ Elizabeth asked.

‘Oh, I should not.’ She said waving a hand dismissively.

‘Why not?’ Elizabeth said. She flagged down the barmaid and ordered Merrill a pint of mead.

‘No, really, Sir.’ She said, turning pink, ‘It does funny things to my head.’

Elizabeth shrugged, and claimed Merrill’s pint for herself after slapping a sovereign onto the bar. She did not like to admit it, but she was quite enjoying life as a man. She could do what she liked, and stay out as long as she pleased.

Merrill stood there awkwardly, looking around nervously. Elizabeth noticed that a few men were leering at Merrill, and talking behind their hands. Elizabeth was not sure what to say, so they sat there awkwardly for several minutes.

‘Well, I best be off, Sir.’ She said, clearing her throat nervously.

Elizabeth waved goodbye and Merrill left hurriedly. However, Elizabeth noticed that two burly men followed her out of the Inn.

With a sense of foreboding, Elizabeth got up from her stool and followed too. It was not long before Elizabeth caught up. Indeed, her suspicions were correct – the men were following Merrill. They swaggered down the pavement, leaning this way and that. Merrill walked at a fast pace, clearly trying to avoid them.

They called out to her.

‘Hallo darling!’ one of them slurred.

‘Where ya going lovely?’ The other called.

Merrill did not look over her shoulder, but these men had long legs and caught up with her quickly.

They grabbed her shoulder, and stood on either side of her.

‘Where you off to, my love?’ The taller of the two said, putting his hands to her waist.

‘Leave me alone.’ Merrill said, trying to wrench free.

‘I do not think she likes you, Tom.’ The shorter, stockier of the two laughed.

‘I bet she would like a real man!’ He retorted, trying to grind himself against Merrill.

Merrill wrenched free and slapped the taller man called Tom across the face before kicking him in the groin.

‘Little bitch.’ He grunted.

And then they lunged for her.

‘Stop that!’ Elizabeth found herself shouting. Her feet were moving of their own accord – running defensively towards Merrill. Elizabeth knew it was incredibly stupid; she was half the size of these men. Before she had even reached Merrill, an arm swung out and winded Elizabeth. She felt to the ground, hard. Elizabeth coughed, and tried to suck in air. The men laughed overhead.

‘Look at this little bloke.’ The fatter one said, ‘Reckons he is tough!’

Merrill had broken free from their grip, and fell to her knees beside Elizabeth.

‘Mister Searson, are you all right?’ She said helping Elizabeth to her feet.

‘I am fine.’ Elizabeth said breathlessly, ‘You keep your hands off of her.’

The men laughed loudly, throwing back their heads derisively, ‘What you going to do about it, tiny?’

They pushed Elizabeth and she fell backwards onto her bottom. She had nothing, no muscles, or weight advantage over these men. They could beat her to a pulp if they so wished. However Elizabeth did seem less intoxicated than these idiots. Perhaps it was the mead in her system that made her feel braver than she actually was.

‘Do not do that again.’ Elizabeth said under her breath as Merrill helped her to her feet. This made the men laugh again.

‘Please Sir, do not.’ Merrill moaned. She was hiding behind Elizabeth, with her hands upon Elizabeth’s shoulders.

‘Or else.’ Elizabeth added, bravely.

This made the men frown. They did not seem to like being threatened. One of the men cracked his knuckles menacingly.

They made a start forward, but Elizabeth was too quick for them. Pulling a vial from her vest pocket, Elizabeth uncorked it and splashed the liquid into the taller man’s face. He howled with pain and doubled over, blinded. The fatter man did not seem to know what was going on, but decided that Elizabeth must have done something bad, because he punched her right on the nose. Elizabeth was on the ground again, but Merrill helped her up for a second time.

‘Run!’ Merrill squeaked, and together they shot off down the street, hand in hand, while the two men lumbered after them, slowed by their intoxication.

Once Elizabeth and Merrill had run a safe distance and lost the men, they slowed to a jog, before stopping and leaning upon a wall, some four blocks away.

‘Sir!’ Merrill said breathlessly, ‘What did you do?’

Elizabeth panted, holding a stitch in her side, ‘Capsicum extract.’

‘Why are you carrying that around with you?’ She asked, bewildered.

‘Safety?’ Elizabeth said with a shrug, ‘It came in handy, did it not?’

‘I guess.’ Merrill said as Elizabeth straightened up, her face illuminated by the streetlights, ‘Sir! Your nose!’

Elizabeth put her fingers to her lip, and felt the blood oozing from her nostril, ‘Oh,’ was all she managed to say.

‘Does it hurt?’ Merrill asked.

‘I am not sure yet.’ Elizabeth said mildly, ‘I have had quite a lot of mead.’

‘We have to get you cleaned up.’ Merrill insisted.

‘My home is near.’ Elizabeth said.

Fifteen minutes later, Elizabeth and Merrill were in the kitchen, dabbing away the blood on Elizabeth’s face.

‘I do not believe you did that.’ Merrill said over and over again.

‘What was I supposed to do?’ Elizabeth said, ‘They were all over you.’

‘They would have beaten you senseless!’

Elizabeth gave a shrug and felt her nose. Luckily, it was not broken, though a rather large bruise had blossomed across her eyes.

‘You look an awful mess.’ Merrill said, shaking her head.

‘At least I look rather tough.’ Elizabeth swallowed, and tasted blood in the back of her throat.

Merrill raised her hand and dabbed at Elizabeth’s top lip with a wet cloth. Their eyes lingered for a moment, before Merrill looked away and muttered, ‘Thank you, anyway.’

‘You are welcome.’

~

Elizabeth could not explain why she felt so protective of Merrill. Perhaps she wanted to help Merrill succeed in a career, rather than succumb to a life of homemaking. Whatever the reason, Elizabeth vowed to be Merrill’s mentor, and guide her in the right path.

Merrill made every day at the apothecary a joy. She laughed unashamedly, was immensely funny, and adorably clumsy. She talked non-stop, and her social skills had improved greatly. Elizabeth found she looking forward to going to work in order to see her new friend, and began to dread the end of the workday when she would depart. Merrill had not spoken of her betrothal since their conversation a fortnight ago, and seemed relatively happy, so Elizabeth was not concerned. Truly, she had found an irreplaceable friend in Merrill, but Elizabeth was not sure that Merrill felt the same way. Of course, all Merrill saw was a male employer, and Elizabeth had come to accept this.

Growing up, Elizabeth had never had many friends, and to this day she did not know of one person, besides her mother, that might visit her home upon whim. Elizabeth was not the type to become lonely, and she often did not crave the company of others, though this had changed over the last few weeks.

A surge of jealousy seemed to take over Elizabeth whenever she thought about someone trying to take Merrill from her, whether it be a future husband, or a parent. She pushed these irrational thoughts aside every time they flooded her brain, and focused on something positive.

Elizabeth wanted to spend time with Merrill outside of the apothecary, yet she did not know how to approach the subject for she feared it might be inappropriate, especially since everyone believed Elizabeth to be a man.

She did not need to fret about this for long, however, for it was Merrill who suggested it first.

‘Sir,’ She said hesitantly one night, ‘What do you do on Sundays?’

It was eight o’clock at night, and Merrill had volunteered to stay back late and help Elizabeth with some research regarding a vaccination she was working on.

‘Sundays?’ Elizabeth frowned without looking up from her work. Usually Elizabeth would go to church, dressed as her usual feminine self, but what Elias might do was a completely different story.

‘Yes.’ Merrill hesitated, ‘only, your sister mentioned weeks back that you left town regularly on the weekend.’

‘Oh.’ Was all Elizabeth managed to say.

‘Do you have a sweetheart out of town, Sir?’ Merrill said in a casual tone, though Elizabeth saw her give a sideways glance. She was propped upon a stool next to Elizabeth’s workbench, while she measured ingredients, and took notes.

Elizabeth smirked, ‘No, I do not.’ She replied after a moment’s silence.

‘Then why do you leave every weekend?’

Elizabeth did not know the answer to this, because she did not leave the town every weekend. It had been the only way to explain Elias’ absence every Sunday.

‘I … like to go to the countryside and relax.’ She invented, ‘Fresh air, and perhaps a packed lunch in a grassy park somewhere.’

‘That sounds lovely.’ Merrill sighed, ‘It must be nice getting away from the centre of town for a while.’

‘Pass that vial, will you?’ Elizabeth pointed to the shelf behind Merrill, and kept her eyes upon her work.

Merrill did as she was asked, and continued, ‘Might I join you one Sunday, Sir? Mayhap you could take me to your favorite spot. I could bring a packed lunch.’

Elizabeth dropped the vial and it shattered upon the floor. Merrill bustled about, sweeping up the shards of glass while Elizabeth thought up a suitable response.

‘Might that seem a bit … odd?’ Elizabeth chose her words carefully.

‘Well if you do not wish to.’ Merrill said hurriedly, ‘I did not mean to impose, Sir. Forget I said anything. I thought it might be nice to get away and relax with someone I could trust.’ She had turned quite pink.

Elizabeth’s heart was racing, ‘I would like you to come.’ She said.

Merrill grinned.

~

Elizabeth was not sure as to what her plan was. She did not have a ‘special spot’ she liked to visit on weekends, nor did she have a way of getting to such a place. Nevertheless, Elizabeth promised Merrill an excursion into the countryside that Sunday after church. Merrill insisted that they meet at Elizabeth’s residence, and journey onwards from there. Elizabeth did not object.

The remainder of the week Elizabeth tried to think of somewhere suitable to take Merrill for their first outing as friends. Some might disapprove of a young ‘man’ and woman spending time alone together, without a chaperone, but Elizabeth thought this quite ridiculous. If they only knew, she thought amusedly. However innocent Elizabeth’s intentions were, what if Merrill did not see it the same way? This had not occurred to her just yet, and a prickle of worry formed in Elizabeth’s stomach. She decided to ignore it, and thought it would be absurd for Merrill to be remotely interested in Elias.

A small valley called Coachers hill, half hour out of town seemed the ideal place. Her mother had told Elizabeth about it when she had enquired about an ideal place to have a picnic. Her mother said it was covered in flowers, and huge oak trees that would be a splendid source of shade. Apparently nobody ventured there, for upon the land was an abandoned house. Rumors flew that it was haunted, and sometimes children would dare each other to get as close as possible to the building. Elizabeth had never been there, but decided that this was her best hope for a ‘tranquil’ spot. Elizabeth hoped that Merrill was not opposed to walking.

The day of the picnic arrived, and Elizabeth spent an excruciating amount of time in front of the mirror, ensuring her disguise would be weather proof incase the clouds above decided to release the rain within them. She donned a hat, boots, and carried an umbrella with her to the door when she heard the sound of gentle knocking.

‘Good morn, Merrill.’ Elizabeth gave a small bow.

Merrill seemed slightly flustered for she had walked a half-mile with an enormous basket under her arm.

‘Have you brought enough food for the entire town?’ Elizabeth teased.

Merrill smiled embarrassed, ‘I was not sure what you favored, so I brought a little bit of everything.’

‘You have done very well.’ Elizabeth said impressed, ‘Here, let me take that from you.’

Elizabeth was not a strong woman, by any means. She was, however, larger than Merrill in height, and had much stronger arms. Merrill seemed relieved that the weight had been taken from her.

‘Where are we going?’ She enquired at once.

‘A short walk, I hope you do not mind.’ Elizabeth said, ‘It is only a half hour away, and there are not many hills.’

The walk was further than Elizabeth expected. The boots upon her feet rubbed against her heels, which were red raw by the time they arrived at their destination. In an attempt to appear manly, however, Elizabeth did not complain. Merrill was good company, and did not express her dislike for the long walk. It seemed Elizabeth’s mother had lied about the distance from town. Her arms ached with the weight of the picnic basket, as though Merrill had laden it full of bricks.

After an hour of trudging they appeared in an open field. Sunlight dappled through the leaves of a huge oak tree, and thick luscious grass spread before them for a mile. Yellow flowers bloomed here and there across the paddock, and in the distance was an old, decrepit house, with a caved in roof. The air smelled sweetly and Elizabeth felt that this scene was well worth the horrid walk.

Merrill took the basket from Elizabeth and spread a blanket out underneath the towering oak for them to sit upon. She unpacked the contents of the basket and Elizabeth saw why it had been so heavy. Upon the blanket sat a loaf of bread, six hard-boiled eggs, an assortment of fruits, cheese, salt crackers, cold meat, a bottle of Gaelic whiskey, and a large bottle of mead.

‘Whiskey?’ Elizabeth asked, picking up the bottles, ‘Mead?’

‘My Pa’s.’ she said as she unpacked some cutlery.

‘Are you sure it is all right that you took them?’ Elizabeth asked timidly.

‘Mister Searson, you told me I should do as I please.’ Merrill said determinedly.

‘I did not mean steal, Merrill.’ Elizabeth said with raised eyebrows as she put the bottles back down.

‘He has more than enough in his cellar. He will not notice two bottles missing. Would it shock you if I told you I took bottles often, Sir?’

‘It would.’ Elizabeth said, trying to hide a smile.

‘When I was fifteen some friends and I took a bottle of whiskey from Pa’s cellar, and drank it behind the garden shed.’ She said, pulling a face, ‘Awful night.’

‘I expect you were not too well afterwards?’ Elizabeth said, taking a grape that Merrill offered.

‘The whiskey did not make me too sick. I expect it is the Irish blood.’ She crinkled her nose, ‘Though I did end up having my first kiss that night, behind the shed with a friend.’

Elizabeth gave a laugh, ‘I expect he was pleased.’

‘Like I said, it was an awful night. I have not touched whiskey since! It seems to make me behave most inappropriate.’

‘Good thing too.’ Elizabeth said, clearing her throat nervously.

Merrill poured Elizabeth copious amounts of mead into a pewter mug, and ladled a plate full of food, which she forced into Elizabeth’s hands. She was sure she could not eat this much, but she would try because she did not want to hurt Merrill’s feelings.

It was extremely relaxing sitting in the meadow, drinking, eating, talking and laughing. Elizabeth lay back and looked up at the canopy of leaves while Merrill poured Elizabeth her third mug of mead. Elizabeth felt light headed, and extremely happy. She had never been a drinker, yet right now she was playing the role of Elias Searson, and she had decided that he enjoyed alcoholic beverages. Merrill did not drink, but merely ate small amounts, and watched Elizabeth eagerly.

‘This is nice.’ Elizabeth yawned, stretching across the blanket; she felt incredibly full, and drowsy.

‘Aye, Sir.’ Merrill agreed.

Elizabeth lay with her eyes shut, and listened to the sound of the leaves rustling in the wind, and inhaled the sweet smell of the meadow. Merrill fidgeted momentarily before laying beside Elizabeth.

‘It is nice here.’

‘Mmmh.’ was all Elizabeth managed to say.

~

Elizabeth was not sure how long she had fallen asleep for. The day had been warm, the food had been excellent, and the mead had made her drowsy. When Elizabeth woke the sun was lower in the sky, indicating that it was at least three o’clock in the afternoon. Quite a nap, considering they had arrived at the meadow in the eleventh hour of the day.

Something warm, and soft was against Elizabeth’s cheek. Moving her head, Elizabeth saw that Merrill lay in the crook of Elizabeth’s arm, her hair tickling her face. Elizabeth felt her heart race, and was not sure why. She was perfectly relaxed, and comfortable, yet she did not understand why her heart pounded, and her stomach felt tight with nerves.

Merrill was not asleep. Elizabeth could see that her eyes were open, staring into the distance. She had not noticed that Elizabeth was awake. Surely the fast beating of her heart would give her away.

As if Merrill had read her mind, she lifted her head and looked up at Elizabeth. The moment their eyes met seemed to last an eternity. Elizabeth felt frozen to the spot. She could see her own reflection in Merrill’s large, glassy eyes; the reflection of Elias, not Elizabeth. Her stomach turned and apprehension lingered in the air between them. A strange stillness took over the trees, and the grass. Silence fell in the meadow as if everything had stopped to watch them.

And then Merrill kissed her.

Her lips were warm, and moist, and she moved them with uncertainty. It lasted a lifetime, or perhaps several seconds, Elizabeth could not be sure. All she knew was her hands were shaking, and a small explosion had occurred in the pit of her stomach, rocketing through her body to the core of her pounding heart. Merrill’s hand clenched a fistful of Elizabeth’s vest, and Elizabeth found herself kissing Merrill back as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Merrill opened her mouth uncertainly, to allow Elizabeth’s tongue entrance, but she hesitated.

Elizabeth broke away, and Merrill’s eyes darted back and forth between Elizabeth’s pupils. She opened her mouth as though to speak, but closed it quickly again.

Elizabeth sat up and Merrill detached her self at once.

‘I am so sorry.’ Merrill said as Elizabeth got to her feet, and brushed herself off.

Elizabeth did not know what to do, or how to react to the events that had just taken place. She was numb with shock, and slightly shaken. What was worse, Elizabeth had not disliked the kiss.

‘Elias.’ Merrill said, getting hurriedly to her feet, ‘Mister Searson.’

‘This is bad.’ Elizabeth said, rather stressed.

‘No, Sir, it – it is beautiful.’ Merrill said, a pleading tone in her voice.

‘Go home, Merrill.’ Elizabeth said avoiding Merrill’s huge eyes.

‘Sir, please do not be mad. I have wanted to do that for so many weeks. Please forgive me.’

‘You barely know me, Merrill.’ Elizabeth snapped. She had not meant to be so harsh, but she was in a state of shock.

‘Please let me explain.’ Merrill begged, grabbing Elizabeth’s vest pleadingly, ‘Please do not fire me, Sir.’

Elizabeth clenched her jaw, ‘What is there to explain Merrill?’

‘We … I – I met you before you interviewed me for the job.’ Merrill said quickly. ‘You did not remember me, but I saw you in the apothecary over a month ago. I had to know you.’

‘We met before the interview?’

‘I went into the shop, I-I pretended to need your assistance. You were so nice. You spoke to me like a proper lady.’

Elizabeth stared at Merrill and suddenly realized why she had looked so familiar upon the day of the interview. Elizabeth had seen her in the shop, several days in a row, but Merrill had never bought anything.

‘You always said you were just browsing.’ Elizabeth recalled.

‘Aye Sir.’ Merrill admitted, ‘I wanted to know you. I visited the shop at least five times. You never seemed to remember me.’

‘I see a lot of faces every day.’

‘Then … then I saw the job listing, and I knew I had to try. Oh, Sir, I was ever so pleased when you chose me. My mother said I did not have a snowballs chance in hell. She said you would hire a clever man, not a simple girl like me … but she was wrong. You hired me. Me.’ Merrill was beaming.

Elizabeth grew increasingly wary as each second passed. What on earth would Merrill say if she ever discovered that Elias was really a woman?

‘Finally, I would be able to get to know you.’ Merrill gave a weak smile, ‘I was happy until my Pa told me his plans for my future … my betrothal. I ran to your house, thinking perhaps you could … you could do something to help me. But you were not there, and your sister told me you were out of town. I thought you must be visiting your sweetheart.’

Elizabeth frowned, ‘Merrill, you have behaved extremely foolishly.’

‘I thought you might like me, Sir.’ Merrill said miserably, ‘When you said I could come with you, here, I thought …’

‘You thought … what? You thought we would begin a courtship Merrill? For goodness sake, I am your employer. I cannot … I cannot take advantage of this situation.’

‘You are not taking advantage of me, Sir. I promise.’

‘Go.’ Elizabeth said, ‘Just leave, Merrill.’

Elizabeth did not watch Merrill walk away. She felt horribly guilty for sending her away, but Elizabeth felt as though she had been tricked. Merrill had lured her into this position, and planned it from day one. Why was Elizabeth so upset about this though? If her husband, George Greenwood, had done this, she would not be hurt in the slightest. Because I do not have feelings for the Captain, Elizabeth told herself, but did that mean that Elizabeth cared more for Merrill than her own husband?