Deeply Destructive by Lucy Covington
LINDSAY
When I woke up, Justin was holding me. My back was against his chest and his arms were wrapped tightly around me, keeping me close. I took in a deep breath and tried to slow my heart, which was beating so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest.
I turned over slowly, careful not to wake him.
And then I just stared.
He was beautiful.
His eyes were closed, his long lashes brushing against his cheeks. He looked peaceful as he slept, his hair rumpled, his breathing even. Everything about him was sexy and gorgeous and made me feel flushed all over.
He rolled over and stretched, then turned his head and blinked at me sleepily.
“’Morning.” He grinned.
“”Morning.”
“What are you doing way over there?” He pulled me back close to him, his chest pushing against mine. “How’d you sleep?”
“Really well.” It was true. I should have slept horribly after everything that had happened last night, but instead I’d slept deeply and soundly, only waking up once.
“Good.” He smiled at me, and I wanted to kiss him so badly I could hardly take it. My body felt like it was on fire. A warm tingle moved from my toes to my head before settling in between my legs.
How could something that felt so amazing be so wrong for me? I knew everything about this was wrong. But it was a force I couldn’t control, like a wave sweeping me up and pulling me out to sea. Last night I’d been fighting it, but now I was beginning to wonder if maybe I should just let it take me.
We stayed like that for a moment, just looking into each other’s eyes. It was the sexiest, hottest thing I’d ever experienced. A need pulsed between us, and it felt like it was permeating the entire room. My whole body was on alert, every sense heightened even though we hadn’t even kissed.
I closed my eyes, afraid that if I didn’t, I would end up putting my lips on his.
And I wanted more than anything for him to kiss me first.
I felt the pad of his thumb move across my cheek and my breath caught in my chest.
“God, Lindsay,” he breathed. “You’re so beautiful.”
No one had ever called me beautiful before. The word filled my body with an unfamiliar emotion, something that felt like a mix embarrassment, lust, and disbelief.
I opened my eyes, and he was staring at me with a look on his face that mirrored what I was feeling inside. He wanted me. I could tell. And I wanted him.
I closed my eyes again and waited for him to kiss me.
“JB!” The voice echoed through the apartment from the other room.
“Shit,” Justin swore and then sighed. “It’s Gilbert.”
Right. Gilbert. I’d almost forgotten about him, which made no sense since he was the one who’d caused all that drama last night.
Justin rolled away from me and sat up.
It took every ounce of my self-control to not stare at him, and in the end, I lost the battle. I watched as he moved to his dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts, trying not to drool. His chest was tan and toned, with hard pecs and smooth lines. I let my eyes linger over his washboard abs, the smooth V of his hips, the way his biceps flexed as he moved.
“I’m going to go check on Gil,” he said. “You can use the bathroom, or help yourself to whatever you want in the kitchen, okay?”
“Okay.” I wanted to ask him if he was planning on wearing a shirt, because I wasn’t sure I could take being around him if he was going to walk around shirtless like that.
But apparently he didn’t plan on getting fully dressed, because he left the room without putting a shirt on.
My body was filled with longing and anticipation, and I couldn’t sit still. I felt jumpy and full of nerves.
I got up and headed for the bathroom, where I smoothed my hair, washed my face, and gargled with some mouthwash that I found in the medicine cabinet.
Then I headed for the kitchen.
The apartment was quiet, but I could hear low voices in one of the other rooms.
The blanket Justin had put over Gil last night sat on the couch, wrinkled and discarded.
Other than that, the apartment was neat and tidy.
I walked into the kitchen and hunted around until I found the glasses, then poured myself some water.
Justin was still in the other room, and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. It felt kind of weird, just standing here in his kitchen. I opened the refrigerator. It was surprisingly stocked for an apartment with two guys living in it. There were containers of cut up vegetables and fruits, some meats and cheeses, cartons of orange juice, a couple of takeout containers, and various condiments and dressings.
I rooted around until I found some eggs and bacon.
Should I make breakfast?
I was hungry and I wanted to, but I also didn’t want to come across as being all stalkery. It was the weekend, so it’s not like I had to be at class, but maybe Justin had things to do. Or maybe he just wanted to get rid of me. Maybe he --