“Jesus,” Adam huffed. “You are too smart for your age. It’s like arguing with a grown woman.”
“How would you know what it’s like to argue with a grown woman? You never stick around long enough to do something to piss them off.”
His mouth twitched at my response and he shook his head. “Jesus,” he repeated.
After a minute of silence, Adam turned his head to look down at me again. His expression was no longer amused. In fact he looked deadly serious. “If this kid dumped you because he’s not man enough to deal with some familial concern, then he’s not the kind of boy you want to be with.”
The word “familial” pushed that little button inside of me and I knew when I glared at him this glare was colder than any that had come before it because it made him stiffen with surprise. “You’re not my brother, Adam.” I snapped. “Stop acting like it.”
I felt a slash of pain across my chest at the hurt expression in his eyes, guilt instantly making me want to cry even more. “I know that, Ellie.”
Our eyes met and held, and my awareness of him caused my skin to flush. “Do you?” I murmured a little breathily.
Something flickered in his gaze and he stood up, looking uncomfortable. “I’ll leave you alone for a bit. I just wanted you to know I would never intentionally hurt you.”
When I didn’t say anything, Adam exhaled wearily and left.
As he was closing my door I heard Braden’s voice right outside it. “She okay?”
“She’s pissed off. Let’s just leave her alone for a while.”
“I want to speak to her.”
“Braden—”
“I’ll get you downstairs,” he cut him off, opening my door and closing it behind him as he stepped inside. Braden’s concerned eyes locked on me as he strode toward my bed.
“Els, sweetheart,” his voice was gruff as he sat down. “I’m so sorry.”
At that I burst out crying and launched myself against his chest, letting his strong arms hold me tight and his soothing murmurs calm me.
Chapter 3
“You forgave Braden?” Adam frowned, holding the diary out to me.
I shrugged, taking it back and putting it next to the one from the year I was fourteen. “You hurt me more. Not intentionally, of course, but I wanted you to see me as a woman, not a girl.”
Adam gave me a look that suggested I was daft in the head. “You were a girl. You were fifteen.”
“So you never saw me that way then? Not that night… in my little dress,” I teased.
“Not then,” he admitted softly as if worried he’d hurt my feelings. “You were still Braden’s wee sister then.”
I wasn’t hurt. I had retrospect on my side, and frankly I’d find it somewhat concerning if Adam had fancied my lanky, boob-less fifteen year-old self. Still, I was curious. “When did it change for you?”
I was treated to another “are you daft?” look. “I’m not telling you that.”
“Why not?”
“Because it’s a guy thing that you won’t get and it’ll probably piss you off.”
Okay, now I was definitely intrigued. “I won’t get annoyed. Just tell me. Please,” I begged sweetly.
“Fine.” He eyed me warily. “It was the morning after your eighteenth birthday.”
My eyes widened as I remembered. Seriously?
“The morning on which you oh so casually told me you’d just lost your virginity.”
That was the moment he realized he had feelings for me? Jeezo… Joss was right. Men were such cavemen. As that morning came back to me in vivid detail I gave a huff of laughter as I now replayed the whole thing but with the realization that Adam had been jealous. Wow.
That was not how it had appeared to me at the time. “I knew you were mad at me but I thought it was another overprotective “big brother” moment.”
“Nope.” Adam shook his head grimly, leaning back on the palms of his hands. “It was an “I’m looking at my best friend’s wee sister who’s just told me she had sex for the first time and I can see her swollen mouth and her bed hair and I’m getting fucking turned on”
moment.” His eyes locked on my mouth as he remembered. “My body reacted to what you’d said before my brain did. I suddenly wondered what your lips felt like, how you’d taste, what it would feel like to have your long legs wrapped around my back as I thrust into you...” I squirmed, feeling my skin heat at the knowledge that Adam was thinking those very appealing thoughts so long ago and I hadn’t had a clue. “Then I got pissed off. At myself for feeling that way about you. And then at the guy for having tasted you. And then at you… for letting him taste you.”
Our eyes locked and I felt my breathing grow shallow.
I knew if I didn’t say something else we’d end up making love in his spare room before we could finish our trip down memory lane and frankly I was enjoying the trip. I cleared my throat and grabbed up the next diary, hurriedly flicking through it.
I found the entry I was looking for and handed it to Adam. “You should know,” I murmured softly, “That it all comes back to you.”