“For many reasons. For getting into Edinburgh Uni. For taking care of Elodie and Clark, and for being a good sister to Hannah and Dec. And for being a great wee sister to me. It’s been a tough year, Els, and I’m grateful for all your help.”
I hugged him close for a second, my heart hurting all over again for him. After falling for and marrying his Australian wife, Analise, Braden had filed for divorce when he walked in on her and his old school friend having sex in one of Braden’s empty developments in New Town. The bitch had put him through the ringer for the last nine months of his marriage and then she’d cheated on him with his friend. It was the ultimate betrayal. Worse, our dad had been the one who’d cottoned onto it and he’d set Braden up to find the traitorous couple. That was dad’s way. Rather than pulling his son aside and letting him down easy, he’d let Braden walk into that. Braden didn’t seem to mind. In fact he was grateful to our father. I, on the other hand, thought he was an insensitive arsehole. Then again, I didn’t exactly have fluffy feelings toward Douglas Carmichael at the moment (or ever).
As if he’d read my mind, Braden sighed. “Dad’s sorry he couldn’t be here, Ellie. I’m sorry too.”
“Don’t apologize for him.” I turned my face away, screwing it up to stop the tears. You would think after eighteen years of complete neglect I’d be over the hurt by now.
Unfortunately, the hurt never went away. I just couldn’t understand what Douglas found so unloveable about me that he’d deliberately shun me time and time again. It was my eighteenth birthday for God’s sake and he couldn’t get up off his rich arse for half an hour to pop into offer me birthday wishes.
Braden sighed again and I heard him curse under his breath. He had a fairly good relationship with our dad now and I didn’t want to be the cause of any problems between them so I gave him a squeeze and smiled at him. “I’m fine. I’m more than fine. I’m surrounded by friends and family who care about me, Braden. And that’s all I care about.”
We shared a smile and another hug seconds before the music changed to up tempo again, and mum and Clark descended on us. I had a dance with the two of them, giggling as they pulled out moves that hadn’t been seen in at least two decades.
As the night continued on, I mingled with friends and family but my eyes kept wandering through the crowds in an attempt to find Adam again. My stomach was a riot of butterflies, and I couldn’t get his voice out of my head.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, Els,”
I smiled at something Allie said to Liam and watched it crack him up but I had no idea what the conversation was about. My head was stuck in rewind.
When the room began to feel too hot, I ordered a bottle of water from the bar and slipped out of the back of the room and found directions to the exit. It was the fire exit and it led out to the back of the hotel where all the rubbish bins were stored. I crept outside quietly, sucking in a huge gulp of air and enjoying the peace. It could give me a moment to wrap my head around what had happened and if what I thought had happened had actually happened.
I felt a giddy smile start to stretch my lips when a grunt followed by a moan made me freeze. The large wheeled bins were situated between me and an alcove of the building, and the sounds were coming from there. My heart picked up a little bit as I guessed what the sounds meant and what I’d stumbled upon. When another grunt sounded I covered my mouth with my hand to keep in the giggle that was threatening to erupt.
“Yes,” a female voice groaned. “Adam, oh my God.”
The giggle instantly died as the blood rushed in my ears. I felt a burn in the bottom of my throat as some devil, some masochistic thing inside of me, made me tiptoe silently around the bins.
All the hope I’d been feeling exploded and disintegrated around me.
As I watched Adam screw one of the female catering staff against a brick wall, I realized what an idiot I was. What a childish, na?ve idiot.
And then the anger settled in. The frustration. The pain… that somehow I wasn’t good enough. Not good enough for Adam. Not good enough for my father.
My eyes narrowed. There was one person who thought I was good enough, so what was I holding out for? For flowers and sonnets and a man on bended knee? That wasn’t going to happen. This was reality. Sex was sex. There was nothing magical about it.
Clearly.
I wasn’t naturally an angry person, but the burn of jealousy fueled it and I turned silently back to the hotel. As soon as I was inside, the image of Adam moving against the catering girl kept flashing before my eyes. I felt sick. Chugging back more water, I made a decision. I needed to wipe that image out of my brain.
I found Clark talking to his brother in the function room and thankfully Mum wasn’t anywhere around because what I was going to ask she’d probably not be happy about.
“Els, what do you want to do with all these presents?” He asked, pointing to a table that had been set up at the back.
“Can I ask you and Mum a big favor?”