4. ZIP LINE
The next morning Issy was on a tirade, swearing she was going to call the University first thing Monday morning and get our locks changed. I was pretty sure I had heard her say the phrases, “How dare he?” and “Who does he think he is?” at least fifty times. Pete, in the meantime, was excessively texting and calling her. She ignored him, rolling her eyes each time the phone made a noise. I guess that infatuation was a one-night event. I wished I could be as lucky. I couldn’t seem to get Jake out of mind. There was so much I didn’t understand. Who was he with last night, and why was he kissing me when he had just been on a date with someone else? I wondered who he really was. Issy kept alluding to the fun loving, partier he used to be, but all I had seen up to this point was a serious guy who seemed wounded in more ways than one.
It took all of my willpower not to ask Issy those questions. However, the last thing I wanted was for her to know the depth of my feelings for him, and she was incredibly perceptive. She fell on her lip love seat and looked at her phone
“Ugh! Stop calling me!”
“Why did you go out with him in the first place?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I was mad at Jake and I knew it would bug him.”
“Why were you mad at him? I thought you two were bonded by some supernatural force.” I was hoping the teasing in my voice would mask the pure curiosity I had to find out as much about Jake as I could.
“It’s a long story. Let’s just say that he and I don’t always agree on the ‘family’ issues, and the older he gets, the more he tries to intervene. It has reached new levels since my Aunt Kathy died.”
My heart skipped a beat. His mom had died. I looked up at Issy. “When?”
“This summer. She had an inoperable brain tumor that slowly took her. It was really hard on him and my mom. That’s part of why we fight so much. He idolizes my mom. He thinks she hangs the moon because she took care of them. It’s like he has this need to pay her back, and that means dote over her and protect me at all costs. And the cost right now is our friendship. Things just haven’t been the same since.”
My heart was heavy as I tried to imagine the pain he must be in. No wonder he was tired. No wonder he was guarded. My compassion for him overwhelmed me. I looked at Issy with a serious stare.
“Maybe you should cut him a break.”
“Oh, not you too! Ugh, is there no safe place from him? I told you to stay away from him. You didn’t listen,” she accused shaking her head. “Do you want to know why Betsy left? She was in love with Jake, and she couldn’t take being around him every day when he acted as if she didn’t exist. He charmed her just like he’s doing to you and broke her heart. Avery, I’m not exaggerating about this. You have to let it go.”
“Issy, I don’t have to be in love with him to feel bad for him. I just think if you would put yourself in his shoes every once in a while, your relationship might not be so heated right now.”
Issy wasn’t hearing it. She got up and left the room. The tension in the apartment was more then I could stand with my already heightened emotions, so I grabbed my books and headed to the library.
I was thankful to see my study group in their usual corner and sat down next to them. They were working through problems in chapters one and two to get ready for the quiz. When it became glaringly obvious how behind I was, I excused myself, not wanting to hold them back. A corner table was available in the back of the room and I set my books out, ready to tackle the impossible.
I worked through five of the twenty practice problems, only having to re-work one of them to get the right answer. I was so engrossed in my studying that I had failed to notice that my study group was gone and I had company at my small table. He was leaning back in the chair with a book and highlighter. He had a baseball cap on and was turned to the side so I could barely see his profile. I leaned in, feeling that I knew him from somewhere, and that’s when the scent hit me. I settled back in my chair, not knowing if I should say anything or not. I had encountered two different sides of Jake, one I adored—the other I slightly feared.
“You go to a whole different world when you’re studying, don’t you?” he asked, his green eyes making contact with mine. I breathed a sigh of relief…he looked relaxed, even amused.
“How long have you been here?” I asked, knowing that whatever concentration had been there just evaporated into thin air.
“At least ten minutes. I was starting to take bets with myself as to whether you were really that zoned or if you were intentionally freezing me out.”
I smiled, mostly at the idea that I could ever play it that cool when it came to Jake.
“What are you reading?” I asked, wanting to turn the conversation away from what a nerd I was.
“It’s a riveting book on international finance. What about you?”
I had almost forgotten Jake was still in college. I had yet to see Issy crack a book since I met her and was beginning to think I was the only one who had to study. “Oh, I have you beat. My pleasure reading for the afternoon is statics, the study of physical systems in equilibrium.”
He lifted his hands up as if to say I had won, and I saw his eyes dance again for the first time since he caught me singing in my room. “How much more do you have?” he asked curiously.
“Why, have you come to rescue me from my calculator?”
He appeared to be considering it for the first time, and nodded. “Yeah, let’s get out of here. I have someplace I want to take you.” There was no saying “no” to that, even if it meant I pulled an all-nighter to study for my quiz.
“Let’s go,” I agreed, eager to spend any time with him I could.
We were only in the car about fifteen minutes when we pulled into Pisgah National Forest. We didn’t talk much on the drive, but he kept his hand on my thigh the entire way, which meant my mind was muffled and body was enflamed by the time we got there.
The trees were amazing this time of year and the colors were a vibrant red, orange and yellow, offsetting a perfectly blue sky. The sheer beauty and expanse of the forest made the campus trees look like bushes. “This is breathtaking,” I exclaimed.
“Yeah, I love it. Spent most of the summer up here, just letting nature do its thing.” I wondered if helping him cope with grief was the “thing” that nature did, but I didn’t say anything.
We pulled into a parking area and entered the main building. Jake was shaking hands with the guys behind the counter while my mind started registering the harnesses, gloves and helmets on the walls. I turned my focus onto Jake just as I heard him saying, “I’m going to take her on a few lines, if that’s ok?” The guys waved their hands and said, “Of course, you know you’re welcome to them any time.”
I could feel my palms starting to sweat and panic rise up in my throat. “Um, Jake, may I talk to you for a minute outside?” I whispered.
He seemed to sense my panic. After guiding me out the door, he put both of his hands on my shoulders. “You will be fine.”
“No, you don’t understand. I’m not like you or Issy. I don’t take risks, even calculated ones. I can’t do this.” My voice was strained, and I could feel my heart pounding faster and faster. Jake looked me right in the eyes…I was captivated.
“Avery, you will be fine. You trust me, don’t you?” I simply nodded and followed him inside—back in the same trance I felt the first night at the club. Numbness consumed me as I let the shop guys lock the harnesses all around me, hand me a helmet and give me gloves to wear.
It was a mile hike to the first platform and the majesty of the area almost made me forget where we were going…almost. I nervously watched my feet as the gravel trail crunched underneath me and wondered how many girls Jake had brought here. I felt him grab my arm, and when I looked up he had his finger to his mouth for me to be quiet. He kneeled down and I followed, trying to pick up what was in his line of sight. He pointed to a high branch about twenty feet away, where a small blue jay hopped back and forth.
He leaned into me and whispered, “There is an old folklore about the blue jay and why they have such a noisy call. They say that blue jays were given superior beauty to hide their less than perfect character, and had a singing voice as beautiful as his feathers. Animals would come from all over just to hear his sweet song. But the blue jay became arrogant, so Mother Nature decided to punish him. One day when he went to sing, his voice came out as rough as his inner being, and it’s been that way ever since.”
“That’s a really sad story,” I whispered back.
He seemed surprised by my response, but brushed it off saying, “Yeah, but isn’t that the way it usually goes?” He stood us back up but kept my hand in his, our fingers intertwined.
By the time we reached the first platform, I had almost forgotten why I was apprehensive until I looked over the side and registered how high we were. Knowing I was going to be one hundred feet above the ground and staring at it are two very different things.
“Jake, I can’t do this.” My voice was barely louder than the wind.
“Yes, you can. I will be right here with you. You can trust me.”
I nodded, trying to bury my fear. He strapped my harness to the line and positioned his body right behind me. “Now sit in your harness seat and put your legs straight out in front of you. Grab the top line with your left hand and the bottom line with your right one. Use your right hand to slow yourself down,” he explained while I hung on every word.
“Now, Avery, step off.”
I closed my eyes and took the leap. It was spectacular. I had always felt that running was like flying when the high took over, but nothing prepared me for this. The trees were surrounding me with their beauty and for the briefest moment, I felt the freedom I was constantly in search of. I could feel the wind whipping at my face and the sound of the metal on the line as I plummeted through the air. My feet hit the next platform and immediately strong hands were waiting to pull me in. I did it! Jake was seconds behind me.
He got his footing and then looked at me smiling. “What did you think?”
My inhibitions were gone. I threw my arms around him and boldly kissed him right in front of the world. “It was amazing!” I yelled, breathless.
He pulled me close, looking at me with such intensity that I thought I would catch fire right there. “Just wait until you do the next one.” His eyes sparkled with joy as he got me ready for the next line.
We did all ten of them, each one exceeding the next in height, speed and beauty. The Blue Ridge Mountains could be seen in the distance and the overall effect was magnificent. As we watched the sun start to drop on the last platform, I was struck with the significance of today. I had exceeded my own expectations for myself, and the joy and pride I felt changed how I could view the rest of my life. Jake gave that moment to me. I looked up at him with all the adoration I felt exploding out of me and gushed, “Thank you.”
He wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled my neck. There was no need to speak; words could only cheapen the beauty of the day.
It was as if the trees had bonded Jake and I together. We spent the next two weeks texting incessantly and sneaking off to be together every chance we got.
Jake and Issy were still not talking, and she wasn’t saying much to me either. Issy was a lot of things, but stupid was not one of them. I was sure she figured out that Jake and I were dating.
The euphoria of new love consumed me. I couldn’t eat, could hardly sleep and my stomach was in a perpetual state of nervous excitement.
My schoolwork, on the other hand, was not fairing so well. I had somehow managed to keep a B in Statics, but in Thermodynamics, I was barely hanging on to a C. I knew if I fell below a 3.5 GPA, I would be put on probation from my scholarship, which meant I had one semester to get my grades back up or lose it for good. I knew I should care, but I just didn’t. In fact, there wasn’t much in my life I did care about right now, except for Jake.
I hadn’t run in over a week and got a stern talking to from my advisor about my lack of work-study hours. Even Cara was driving me crazy. It was like they were all bees flying around my head nagging me to give up the one thing in my life I cherished. I wasn’t going to do it!
Jake brought out something in me I couldn’t explain. When I was around him, I felt like I took on his qualities. I was more outgoing, funny, and even flirtatious beyond my normal comfort zone. He made me adventurous and fearless, things I had never been in my life. Cara, as usual, was my incessant buzz kill.
“I just don’t understand why it has to be ‘this you’ or the ‘old you.’ Why can’t you be both? Avery, you’ve worked hard for that scholarship and this opportunity. All summer long you talked about how much you loved it. I don’t understand how it could suddenly mean so little,” Cara lectured.
“It still matters to me, Cara; it’s just not the only thing that matters to me any more. I have Jake now, and he makes me happy.”
“Really, you have Jake. When’s the last time he’s taken you on a real date or anywhere in public for that matter? Avery, making out in the laundry room at your apartment complex does not make him a boyfriend.”
I blushed at the memory that stirred. Me, sitting on the table reading, Jake sneaking up behind me, kissing my neck and pulling me into his arms. He made me feel sexy and beautiful. I felt like he wanted me, and it was invigorating.
“Cara, you just don’t understand,” I said, sighing.
“I guess not,” she responded with equal resignation. After a long dramatic pause, Cara asked, “So, how is the eating?” I was taken back by her question, almost forgetting I had shared my deepest secret with her.
“It’s great. In fact, I haven’t felt this good about myself in years.”
“Avery, trading one obsession for another is not healing…it’s transference and it’s dangerous.”
“Cara, I didn’t ask you to be my psychologist, nor did I confide in you so you could hound me every chance you got. I’m fine, so leave it alone!” I couldn’t remember the last time there was this much tension in our relationship.
“I’m sorry,” I finally said after an awkward period of silence. “Let’s just talk later, ok?” We said our goodbyes and hung up the phone, but my heart was heavy. I felt like I was losing my best friend.
It seemed so unfair that I could find such happiness in one area of my life, while all the others seemed to be unraveling. Cara’s words bothered me, but I pushed them aside. Jake cared about me, and I wasn’t going to let her make me start to question that simple truth!
“Lord, protect her as she navigates through life, bringing forth truths that are so often hidden in the shadows…”