She stayed like that for a while. After I let her go, she continued to pace.
“I’m mad that no matter what I try, I can’t make my mother happy. It has to come from within herself and the right dose of medication.” She wiped her tears. “I’m angry that my sister is dead, and I never had the opportunity to have a normal relationship with her. But I’m not angry that she brought you into my life. And while I’m not mad at you for the reason you came here, I have been keeping some of my feelings inside about it. It hurts to think about what Opal did and the fact that you knew her at all. The truth is, I do block out thoughts about my sister as a habit. They’re just too painful.”
I nodded. “Keep going.”
Heather spoke through gritted teeth, her voice growing louder. “I’m mad about that text you got from Lindsey—not at you, though. I’m mad because it made me worry that I won’t be there when you need a warm body. I’m extremely jealous. While we’re on the topic, I’m jealous of your ex-wife, too—that you still talk to her and confide in her when I want you to confide in me.” Her tone softened. “I’m mad about a lot of things, but most of all I’m sad, so fucking sad, Noah. Because I don’t want to lose you.”
Her last statement was like a punch to the gut. I could relate to that fear.
Placing my hands on her shoulders, I looked into her eyes. “No matter what happens in our lives, no matter where I am, if you ever need me, I will always be here for you. I can promise you that.”
Her eyes glistened. She’d heard me. I wanted to hold her again, but I was afraid to lose control. I wanted to rip that nightgown right off of her.
Heather wiped her eyes. “Thank you for listening, and thank you for encouraging me to let it out.”
“You’re welcome. I—”
Before I could even finish my sentence, she ran to the door and disappeared into the night.
I didn’t stop her, because then what? I did, however, stand on the porch to ensure she got home.
Five minutes later, while I was lying in bed, a text came in.
My heart raced as I realized what it was. A photo of the most beautiful set of tits lit up the screen—breasts I wished more than anything I could taste just one more time.
Heather: I figured I owed you one after all that.
My head sank into the pillow as I typed.
Noah: You’ve just made things ten times harder.
Heather: I hope so. ;-) You’ve been too good. Plus, I’m not there, so I can be bold without getting into trouble, right?
Noah: Did you see how much I ate tonight? I’ve been eating like crazy to make up for the fact that I can’t touch you. Don’t think I’m not dreaming about your body 24-7. And dreaming about that thing you do.
Heather: That’s a good song.
Noah: What?
Heather: That Thing You Do, one-hit wonder from the 90s.
Noah: Ah. Figures you’d know that. I bet it’s on your iPhone.
Heather: No comment.
I laughed. Pretty sure I woke the guinea pigs up.
Noah: LOL
Heather: What actual thing do I do, though?
Noah: I don’t want to even think about it right now. It’ll put me over the edge.
Heather: Come on. I need to know.
This conversation was veering into territory I’d been trying to stay away from. But she wasn’t physically here, so how much trouble could I get myself into?
Noah: I thought it was a one-time deal, but by the third time you did it, I knew it was a thing.
Heather: What is it?
Just thinking about it made me harder.
Noah: When you know I’m about to come, you squeeze your pussy around my cock. It feels fucking amazing. Drives me crazy.
Heather: Well, I can assure you the song isn’t about that.
Noah: Probably not.
Heather: And I know I do that thing. It’s on purpose.
Noah: So, you WERE trying to kill me.
Heather: Yup. Death by pussy spasm.
Noah: Not a bad way to die.
Heather: LOL. I’ll let you go to sleep.
Noah: You think I can fall asleep after this talk and that photo you sent?
Heather: Well, if you do…dream of me.
Noah: You can bet on that.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
* * *
HEATHER
ONE MONTH LATER
August ended—and Noah was still here. He’d agreed to stay an extra two weeks to help get us settled. I greatly appreciated that.
It was now the middle of September. We’d made it completely out of our house just in time for the new owners to move in. Noah had rented a huge truck and took our remaining stuff to a storage facility.
Crisp fall air had replaced the summer heat in New Hampshire. We were living in our new house surrounded by stacks of boxes. It would take several more weeks to get fully organized.
Since the new place had only two bedrooms, Noah had spent the past few nights sleeping on the couch while I slept in bed with my mother.
Between Teddy, our boxes, and the guinea pigs, it was mass chaos. However, today I was too preoccupied to care about any of it, because tomorrow was the day I’d been dreading since June.
Noah would be going back to Pennsylvania.
It was completely surreal, and my heart was broken. All the unpacking was going to have to wait, because I didn’t plan to do anything today but spend time with him.
I woke up super early to make coffee for us before my mother and aunt woke up. As I entered the kitchen, I realized Noah had beaten me to it.
“Good morning,” I said, breathing the nutty scent of the java.
“Good morning, beautiful.” Noah pulled me into an embrace and held me so tightly I could barely breathe.
Speaking into his chest, I said, “I can’t believe this day is finally here. I don’t feel ready.”
“I’ll never feel ready.”
Things were still unclear between us. Noah refused to put a label on what we were or make any promises aside from his general vow to “always be there for me if I needed him.” That didn’t define whether or not we were in a relationship. He’d be there if I really needed him someday, but whether he’d be there for me during all the days in between was still unknown.
The lack of definition was intentional; I knew that. And I didn’t want to waste our last day pushing the issue or analyzing things. I just wanted to be with him and cherish every second.
“So I was thinking we could take a drive today,” he said.
“Where to?”
“Wherever the wind takes us as long as I’m with my favorite girl.”
I felt on the verge of crying. It wasn’t going to take much. I’d probably be losing it on and off throughout the day.
Something I’d forgotten about popped into my head.
“Katy wants to take you to dinner to thank you for all your help. I didn’t give her an answer because I wasn’t sure how you wanted to spend your last night.”
“That’s nice of her.”
“Yeah. But we don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”
“As long as you’re there, I’m good with it. Pretty much gonna be stuck to you like glue today.”
That made me warm inside but sad, too. “Okay, I’ll tell her it’s a go. We don’t have to stay long.”
“We’ll be out all day, so we can meet her somewhere on our way back. Is your mom going, too?”
“I have a feeling she’s going to try. She keeps telling me how much she’s gonna miss you.”
My eyes suddenly filled with tears. The random crying had commenced.
Noah surprised me by placing his hand on my chin and bringing my mouth into his. Well, that’s one way to stop me from crying. It was the first time he’d kissed me since the one night we’d spent together. Apparently, on his last day he had no fucks left to give. I was thankful, because his kiss was my oxygen right now. I’d forgotten how damn good it felt.
His warm lips covered mine, and I immediately went in search of his tongue. With his taste and smell flooding my senses, I felt my body go limp. With every push of his tongue against mine, my panties got wetter. If we’d been a smoldering fire the past several weeks, he’d just poured on the gasoline.