Beautifully Broken Pieces (Sutter Lake, #1)
Catherine Cowles
Prologue
Taylor
Did you know that when you choose to take someone off life support, they mute the heart monitor? That continual beeping you hadn’t realized had become your constant companion is suddenly gone. So, the room is completely silent when your whole reason for being slips from this Earth.
Completely silent and deafening, all at the same time.
1
Taylor
There was something about the air here. It was clean. Pure. And it had a fragrance to it I hadn’t encountered before. It was something the trees released into the atmosphere around them. I pulled a long breath into my lungs, holding it there as I stared out at the scene below.
Craggy mountaintops still topped with snow shifted into heavily forested slopes which met up with a pristine lake. I sucked in another breath. It was beautiful. Peaceful. Largely untouched by humans in all the ways we could fuck things up.
An arm came around my shoulders. “It’s beautiful, right?” Carter asked.
I glanced at my best friend. Her strawberry-blonde hair was piled on top of her head in a haphazard attempt to keep it out of her face while we hiked to the top of this lookout. “It is.”
“I’m so glad my mom recommended it—” Her words were cut off as color leached from her face, and she dropped her arms from my shoulder. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
This time, it was me cutting her off. “You can talk about your mom, Carter.”
“Okay…” Her words trailed off, and an awkward silence descended on us.
It had been ninety-seven days, twelve hours, and fifty-two minutes since my mother’s heart had stopped beating. I couldn’t help but mark that time. Always aware of every minute the world kept spinning without her. That seemed crazy sometimes. Absolutely insane that the universe could still exist without her. That I could exist without her.
There were moments when it still didn’t seem real. Times when I could convince myself that this had all been a terrible nightmare. That I hadn’t really watched her body slowly start to fail her. Hadn’t seen her struggle to even lift her hand to hold mine. That her skin hadn’t turned so papery, I could see right through to her veins.
But it had happened. No begging, pleading, bargaining, or praying had kept her with me. My rock, my safe place, my best friend was gone.
I shook my head, attempting to clear it. Forcing cheeriness into my voice, I asked, “How did your mom find out about this place again?” Carter was from Georgia, and we were currently in the middle of nowhere Oregon.
Carter twisted her fingers into a series of complicated knots at her side. “She has a sorority sister who grew up here. Told her it was pure magic. It is, right?”
Pure magic was a perfect description. “It is.” I snuck a peek at Carter again. Lines of worry creased her brow. I hated that I was the cause of it. “Thank you for bringing me here.”
A genuine smile tipped her lips. “I’m so glad you finally agreed.”
After months filled with arranging a funeral, handling the never-ending minutia that came with someone dying, and packing up my mom’s house in Houston, I was spent. Carter had begged me to let her plan a trip for us that would be full of nothing but rest, relaxation, good food, and nature. I had been too exhausted to put up more than a half-hearted fight, even though what I wanted more than anything was to be alone.
The constant assessing stares and carefully couched questions about how I was doing were almost more than I could bear. My fists clenched, nails biting into my palms. All Carter wanted to do was take care of me. She was the best friend a girl could hope for, and I couldn’t even give her that.
Cracking branches and rustling underbrush sounding from behind us had Carter and I turning around.
“Jesus, I’m pretty sure I just got poison ivy on my ass,” our good friend, Liam, bellowed.
Carter tried to hide her giggle by covering her mouth. I did nothing to disguise my snort of laughter.
Carter’s husband, Austin, trailed after Liam, a disgusted grimace on his face. “I really don’t need to hear about that.”
“Hey, you might have some, too. Nothing could be worse than poison ivy on your junk.”
Carter slipped her backpack off her shoulders. “I have some hand wipes. Why don’t you both use them.”
Liam grinned at Carter, taking a wipe from her outstretched hand. “Thank you, ma’am.” After tossing the used towelette into his pack, Liam made his way towards me. He pulled me to his side. “How are you holding up?” His tone had gone from teasing to gently serious, and I freaking hated it.
“I’m good.” I elbowed him in the gut. “Now get your possibly contagious, dirty fingers away from me.”
Liam chuckled, but there was concern in his eyes as he studied me. I felt like a bug under a microscope.
I tightened the straps of my pack. “What do you say? Race you back to the car?”
I didn’t wait for an answer, just took off down the trail at a fast clip. Voices drifted on the air behind me.
“Since when is she the athlete?” Liam asked.
“She started running the first time her mom got sick…” Carter began.
I pushed myself faster until I could no longer hear my friends.