‘It’s not really a good subject for me to talk about. Suffice to say, they’ll throw an absolute fucking fit when they come to my graduation. My tutors think I’m heading for a first but seriously, when my parents see me go up there to get my politics degree they will fucking explode.’ He laughed at the thought of it, knowing how extreme the reaction would be. ‘I’ll be cut off, thrown out of the family home, so on and so on.’
She looked away from the road briefly and said, ‘Why?’
‘Because they think I’ve been studying law for the last three years. I swapped courses and never told them. And believe me, it says everything you’d need to know about my family that it was easier not to tell them.’
‘Jesus!’ She looked like she was thinking about it for a few seconds and then she turned briefly again and said, ‘Imagine if you’d been gay!’
He laughed, wishing he’d met her earlier, wishing it hadn’t taken something bad to show him that there were other people out there. He still didn’t regret how close he’d been with the others though, because they’d always been there for him, and they’d had plenty of good times to set against this one tragic moment.
They were driving away from the campus now and he began to relax. He knew about Harland Point, that it was remote, nothing out there, no proper road. He could be out there for a few hours and not have to see anyone or feel under scrutiny.
It was like Lorna had read his thoughts though, because she said, ‘So really, what is it with you at the moment? Why suddenly more present in our humdrum little lives?’
‘I don’t know.’ He thought about it, not sure what to say. ‘I’ve just been a little down these last few days, that’s all. So...’
‘Why are you down? Oh, don’t tell me. I can guess. In the best tradition of these things, I bet it was your rich little clique that killed that girl the other day, and now you’re all overcome with remorse and realizing how shallow and empty your lives have been.’ She was facing the road as she talked, a relief because she didn’t see his initial shock, and by the time she’d finished he’d realized she was joking, having fun.
He felt jumpy though, like the truth was still on his face, and when she turned for a response he felt like he had to say something that would explain his expression without making him look guilty.
‘I don’t think you should joke about someone who died.’
‘I wasn’t joking about her,’ said Lorna, making clear that he’d missed the point.
‘And you’re wrong about my friends.’
‘Am I?’ He nodded. She seemed to consider it and said flippantly, ‘Let me think, there’s that girl Natalie. What is she, your mascot? Seriously, what a vapid empty space of a woman. Rob Gibson - completely arrogant wanker. Matt whatever-his-name-is, walks around like he owns the place. Alex Stratton...’
‘Alex is okay,’ said Will. For some reason he didn’t want to hear her run Alex down. She was wrong about the others too but Alex had been a good friend over the last couple of years, the one who’d really cemented him into the group, who’d always been there for him too, a calming influence. If Alex hadn’t been there the other night things would have been a lot different, worse. ‘Alex is a good person.’ He looked at her and said, ‘And what about me?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said, implicit in her tone that he was still an unknown quantity, that perhaps she still hadn’t come to grips with the fact that he was even in her car. ‘You know, I have to admit that this morning has been something of a revelation to me.’
‘Maybe if you met the others, they’d be a revelation too.’
She laughed.
‘Okay, I admit, I’m busted. Promise me something though.’ She turned and smiled at him. ‘I don’t actually want to meet them.’
He laughed too now, thinking how weird it would be if he did introduce Lorna to them. Even at the best of times they would have found it odd that he was friendly with someone who looked like that. Four days after the accident though, it would freak them out completely.
Perhaps it was because of that but he was really enjoying himself. He was just happy because she was easygoing and here they were inside this big old car like they were going on some kind of adventure. For once, he was almost looking after himself.
The final approach to the point was just a route marked out across the sands. He was mesmerized by the sound of the car on the soft surface, looking ahead to the small stone wharf with a couple of small white cottages, the dunes of the point stretching away, tall spiky grass growing across them in patchy clumps.
‘What happens when the tide comes in?’
‘It gets cut off.’
He liked the idea of being cut off there, unable to get back to campus and the real world.
‘How do we know when the tide’s coming in?’
‘Don’t worry, I always phone up and check the tides before coming out here.’ She turned, more briefly than before, concentrating on the sand road, and said, ‘I’m not just a scary face.’
‘I think you have a very pretty face.’
She laughed.