Among the Dead by Kevin Wignall
Part One
1
They were parked facing the river, sitting in the dark watching Will heave his guts up over the railing and into the black water below. For five minutes now he’d just been doubled up over the rail, an occasional spasm the only sign he wasn’t finished.
Matt wished he was out there with him, in the fresh air, purging himself. Instead he was sitting hemmed in by the steering wheel and his seat-belt and the oppressive silence that had fallen over them in the car. He wanted to get out, wanted to speak, wanted to just do something, but he couldn’t.
At last Natalie said, ‘You think we should see if he’s okay?’ Matt had wanted someone to speak but didn’t know what to say now in response. The other two didn’t say anything either and she let it drop. They all felt bad, numb and nauseous and shell-shocked. If anything, Will was the lucky one, because he was at least turning it into something tangible.
Matt was really beginning to regret that they’d left the scene, and not just because of the girl, but because it wasn’t fair for all of them to get dragged into this. They wouldn’t see it like that but he would be dragging them in, and it hadn’t been their fault. He was the one sitting behind the wheel.
‘I should go to the police,’ he said, not so much to them as to himself, wanting to hear the words spoken aloud.
He glanced across at Alex in the passenger seat, no response, eyes still fixed on Will, like he was refusing even to consider it. Matt looked at the other two in the rear-view then, squashed together as though Will was still sitting with them. Rob’s face looked set and intense but Natalie started to nod and couldn’t stop.
Her face was all nervous ticks as she said, ‘Yeah, the police, explain everything. I mean, we should go to the police.’
‘Excellent idea,’ said Rob, an edge of anger and sarcasm creeping into his voice. Matt looked at him in the reflection; he was perfectly still on the surface but he looked full of adrenaline, like someone spoiling for a fight. ‘We’ll all go to the police, we’ll explain everything. They’ll probably give us tea and tell us it wasn’t our fault.’
‘It wasn’t our fault,’ said Natalie, her tone hopeful rather than insistent, but Rob was having none of it.
‘Like anyone cares! I’ll tell you this, if we go to the police we can all wave goodbye to our university careers. And if the four of us are lucky we’ll get suspended sentences - I mean, all we did was the leave the scene - but Matt, you’ll get jail for sure, because you’re the driver and you’ll fail the breathalyser.’
‘I’ve had two beers and two vodkas.’ Rob was right though, he was the driver, and maybe he would fail a breathalyser.
As if to drive that point home Rob said, ‘Two glasses of vodka, not two measures, and yeah, you’re a big guy, big metabolism, but do you fancy your chances? Think about it, you’re a rich American, studying in Britain, and you just killed a girl while drink-driving. We know the truth, we know you’re not drunk, we know she ran out in front of us, but what we know doesn’t matter. I can see the headlines; they’ll crucify you.’
‘Rob’s right,’ said Natalie, grasping onto a different hope. She was still drunk, not knowing what she wanted. ‘After all, it wasn’t your fault, and she’s dead, so what good does it do? It wasn’t our fault but our lives will be ruined.’
Matt just wanted them to stop. He wished he hadn’t even said anything, and it infuriated him because everything they were saying made sense but he still felt like he should go to the police, because it was the right thing to do, because a girl was dead and maybe he deserved to be punished for the part he’d played in it.
Alex seemed wrapped up in a meditative calm and Matt turned to him now, hoping he’d find something to say that might at least put things in perspective.
‘Alex?’
‘She’s dead,’ he said without a flicker of expression or acknowledgement. Matt was still trying to decipher what he meant but Rob had no doubt as to whose position Alex was backing.
‘Exactly, she’s dead. It’s terrible, and we’ll live with it forever, but it wasn’t our fault.’