A Red Herring Without Mustard: A Flavia de Luce Novel

“Come on, Colin, you’re not singing.”

 

“Don’t know the words.”

 

“All right, then, sing something you know. Singing will make me come back sooner.”

 

There was a long pause, and then he began in a cracked and quavering voice:

 

“London Bridge is … fallin’ down

 

Fallin’… down, fallin’ down

 

London Bridge is fallin’ down …”

 

I turned round and began to pick my way carefully back along the passage, the sound of Colin’s voice soon becoming no more than a faint echo. Leaving him there, alone in the darkness, was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever had to do, although I can’t say why. Life is full of surprises like that.

 

The return journey seemed endless. Time had surely slowed as I made my way back beneath the low arched ceilings to the cellars.

 

Up the steps I went and into the kitchen. Although the house was in perfect silence, I paused anyway to listen at the door.

 

Nothing.

 

Technically, I knew, I was not being disobedient. I had been forbidden to leave home, and I had no intention of doing so. The Poseidon fountain was well within the bounds of Buckshaw, which allowed me to have my cake and jolly well eat it, too.

 

I slipped quietly out the back door, leaving it unlocked, and into the kitchen garden. Overhead, the stars twinkled like a million mad eyes, while the moon, already halfway to its first quarter, hung like a broken silver fingernail in the night sky.

 

Ordinarily, even though it wasn’t far to the Poseidon fountain, I’d have taken Gladys with me, if only for company. But now, when a single one of her excited squeaks or rattles might awaken the household, I simply couldn’t risk it.

 

I set out at a brisk walk through the wet grass, across the east lawn towards the Visto. Somewhere, an owl hooted, and something tiny scurried through the dead leaves.

 

Then suddenly, almost without warning, Poseidon was looming above me, odd angles of his metal anatomy catching the starlight, as if some ancient part of the galaxy had fallen to earth.

 

I climbed up the steps to the base. What was it Colin had said?

 

“Simon’s toe.” Yes, that was it—but what had he meant?

 

Of course! Poseidon’s toe!

 

He must have heard the name from Brookie and got it muddled.

 

I scrambled up onto the fountain’s lower bowl. Now Poseidon’s giant foot was almost in my face, its big toe curled back as if someone were tickling his tummy.

 

I reached out and touched the thing—shoved it down as hard as I could. The toe moved—as if on a hidden hinge—and from somewhere below came a distinct metallic snick.

 

“Simon’s toe,” I said aloud, smiling and shaking my head, proud of myself for having solved the puzzle.

 

I climbed down to the ground and—yes!—there it was! One of the large sculptured panels of water nymphs that formed the fountain’s decorative base had sprung out slightly from the others.

 

How devilishly clever of old “Leaking de Luce” to have hidden the lock’s release in one of the statue’s feet, where it wouldn’t be easily discovered.

 

The hatch swung open with a groan and I stepped carefully into the fountain’s base. As I had suspected it might, a single lead pipe emerged from one of several grottos below and bent up sharply to feed water to the fountain. A large arm-valve was obviously meant to control the flow, and although a heavy covering of cobwebs told me that it had not been used for ages, I was surrounded by the sound of dripping water which echoed unnervingly in the dankness of the confined chamber.

 

A dozen precarious steps led down into a wide, rectangular pit at the bottom of the fountain.

 

They were splattered with blood!

 

On the edge of the bottom step was a large stain, while diminishing dribbles marked the ones higher up.

 

The blood had been here for some time, as was evident from its brown, well-oxidized appearance.

 

This must be the spot where Brookie met his death.

 

Avoiding the splotches, I picked my way gingerly to the bottom.

 

The pit was surprisingly spacious.

 

To one side, overhead, an iron grating revealed slits of the night sky: the stars still shining brightly, giving off so much light, in fact, that even the towering outline of Poseidon himself was visible far above. Gaping upwards at this novel viewpoint, I somehow managed to misstep. I twisted my ankle.

 

“Damn!” I said, pointing the torch at the ground to see what had caused my injury.

 

It was a rope, and it lay coiled in the circle of light like a self-contented viper sunning itself after a particularly satisfying lunch.

 

I can’t say that I was surprised, since I had already deduced that there would likely be a rope. I had simply forgotten about it until I tripped on the stupid thing.

 

What was surprising, though, was that the police had not discovered such a crucial bit of evidence: a surprising misstep, not only for me, but also for them.

 

Better not touch it, I thought. Best leave it in place for Inspector Hewitt’s men. Besides, I already knew as much as I needed to know about this particular remnant of the crime.

 

With a couple of halting steps, I limped towards an open tunnel.

 

But wait! Which of these openings would lead me back to Colin?

 

The one on the left, I thought, although I could hardly be sure. Lucius de Luce’s plan had shown a bewildering maze of subterranean waterworks, and only now that I thought about it did I remember shoving the folded map into my pocket.

 

I grinned, realizing that help was right here at my very fingertips. But when I reached for it, my pocket was empty.

 

Of course! I had changed my dusty dress for a clean one, and I let slip a mental curse as I realized that Lucius’s priceless hand-drawn map was, at this very moment, soaking its way to blankness in a laboratory sink!

 

There was nothing for it now but to follow my instincts and choose a tunnel: the one on my left.

 

Here at its eastern extremity, the corridor was not only lower and more narrow, but had fallen into scandalous disrepair. The brick walls and pieces of the roof had crumbled in places, covering parts of the floor with broken rubble.

 

Careful, I thought. The whole thing might cave in and—

 

Something slapped my face—something dangling from the roof like a dead white arm. I let out a little yelp and stopped in my tracks.

 

A root! I had been frightened by a stupid root that had been put down, perhaps by one of the long gone borders which had, in earlier times, shaded the walkways of the Visto.

 

Even though I ducked under the thing, its slimy finger still managed to caress my face, as if it were dying for want of human company.

 

I limped along, the light of the torch sweeping wildly in front of me.

 

Here, on both sides of the tunnel, a dusty assortment of ladders, ropes, pails, watering cans, and galvanized funnels had been left, as if the groundskeepers who had used them had wandered off to war and forgotten to return.

 

A sudden flash of red brought me to a stop. Someone had written on the wall. I let the light play slowly over the painted letters: H.d.L.

 

Harriet de Luce! My mother had been here before me—found her way through this same tunnel—stood on these same bricks—painted her initials on the wall.

 

Something like a shiver overtook me. I was surrounded with Harriet’s presence. How, when I had never known her, could I miss her so deeply?

 

Then, faintly, from far along the tunnel, there came to my ears the sound of a voice—singing.

 

“London Bridge is fallin’ down … my fair lady.”

 

“Colin!” I shouted, and suddenly my eyes were brimming. “Colin! It’s me, Flavia.”

 

I lurched forward, tripping over fallen stones, feeling the ooze in my shoes from the tunnel’s seepage. My hands were raw from clutching at the rough wall for support.

 

And then, there he was …

 

“My fair lady,” he was singing.

 

“It’s all right, Colin. You can stop now. Where’s the key?”

 

He winced at the light, then stared at me with a strange, offended look.

 

“Untie me first,” he said gruffly.

 

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