A Red Herring Without Mustard: A Flavia de Luce Novel

The surgery was situated in the high street, just round the corner from Cow Lane. I lifted the knocker—a brass serpent on a staff—and pounded at the door. Almost instantly, or so it seemed, an upstairs window flew open with a sharp wooden groan and Dr. Darby’s head appeared, his gray, wispy hair tousled from sleeping.

 

“The bell,” he said grumpily. “Please use the bell.”

 

I gave the button a token jab with my thumb, and somewhere in the depths of the house a muted buzzing went off.

 

“It’s the Gypsy woman,” I called up to him. “The one from the fête. I think someone’s tried to kill her.”

 

The window slammed shut.

 

It couldn’t have been more than a minute before the front door opened and Dr. Darby stepped outside, shrugging himself into his jacket. “My car’s in the back,” he said. “Come along.”

 

“But what about Gry?” I asked, pointing at the old horse, which stood quietly in the street.

 

“Bring him round to the stable,” he said. “Aesculapius will be glad of his company.”

 

Aesculapius was the ancient horse that had pulled Dr. Darby’s buggy until about ten years ago, when the doctor had finally caved in to pressure from patients and purchased a tired old bull-nosed Morris—an open two-seater that Daffy referred to as “The Wreck of the Hesperus.”

 

I hugged Gry’s neck as he sidled into the stall with an almost audible sigh.

 

“Quickly,” Dr. Darby said, tossing his bag into the back of the car.

 

A few moments later we were veering off the high street and into the Gully.

 

“The Palings, you said?”

 

I nodded, hanging on for dear life. Once, I fancied I caught Dr. Darby stealing a glance at my bloody hands in the dim light of the instrument panel, but whatever he might have been thinking, he kept it to himself.

 

We rocketed along the narrow lane, the Morris’s headlamps illuminating the green tunnel of the trees and hedgerows with bounces of brightness. We sped past the Bulls’ place so quickly that I almost missed it, although my mind did manage to register the fact that the house was now in total darkness.

 

 

As we shot across the little stone bridge and into the grove, the Morris nearly became airborne, then bounced heavily on its springs as Dr. Darby brought it to a skidding halt just inches from the Gypsy’s caravan. Even in the dark his knowledge of Bishop’s Lacey’s lanes and byways was remarkable, I thought.

 

“Stay here,” he barked. “If I need you, I’ll call.” He threw open the driver’s door, walked briskly round the caravan, and was gone.

 

Alone in the darkness, I gave an involuntary shiver.

 

To be perfectly honest, my stomach was a bit queasy. I don’t mind death, but injury makes me nervous. It would all depend upon what Dr. Darby found inside the caravan.

 

I shifted restlessly in the Morris, trying to sift through these rather unexpected feelings. Was the Gypsy woman dead? The thought that she might be was appalling.

 

Although Death and I were not exactly old friends, we did have a nodding acquaintance. Twice before in my life I had encountered corpses, and each one had given me—

 

“Flavia!” The doctor was at the caravan’s door. “Fetch a screwdriver. It’s in the tool kit in the boot.”

 

A screwdriver? What kind of—

 

It was perhaps just as well that my speculations were interrupted.

 

“Quickly. Bring it here.”

 

At any other time I might have balked at his insolence in ordering me about like a lackey, but I bit my tongue. In fact, I even forgave him a little.

 

As Dr. Darby began loosening the screws of the door hinges, I couldn’t help thinking what remarkably strong hands he had for an older man. If he hadn’t used them to save lives, he might have made a wizard carpenter.

 

“Unscrew the last few,” he said. “I’ll take the weight of the door. That’s it … good girl.”

 

Even without knowing what we were doing, I was his willing slave.

 

As we worked, I caught glimpses of the Gypsy beyond, in the caravan’s interior. Dr. Darby had lifted her from the floor to her bed where she lay motionless, her head wrapped in surgical gauze. I could not tell if she was dead or alive and it seemed awkward to ask.

 

At last the door came free of the frame, and for an instant, Dr. Darby held it in front of him like a shield. The image of a crusader crossed my mind.

 

“Easy now—put it down here.”

 

He maneuvered the heavy panel carefully onto the caravan’s floor, where it fit with not an inch to spare between the stove and the upholstered seats. Then, plucking two pillows from the bed, he placed them lengthwise on the door, before wrapping the Gypsy in a sheet and ever so gently lifting her from the bunk onto the makeshift stretcher.

 

Again I was struck with his compact strength. The woman must have weighed almost as much as he did.

 

“Quickly now,” he said. “We must get her to the hospital.”

 

So! The Gypsy was alive. Death had been thwarted—at least for now.

 

Pulling a second sheet from the bed, Dr. Darby tore it into long strips, which he worked swiftly into position under the door, then round and round the Gypsy, fastening the ends with a series of expert knots.

 

He had positioned her so that her feet were closest to the empty door frame, and now I watched as he eased past her and leapt to the ground outside.

 

I heard the Morris’s starter grind—and then engage. The motor roared and moments later I saw him backing his machine towards the caravan.

 

Now he was clambering back aboard.

 

“Take this end,” he said, pointing to the Gypsy’s feet. “It’s lighter.”

 

He scrambled past me, seized the end of the door that lay beneath her head, and began sliding it towards the doorway.

 

“Into the offside seat,” he said. “That’s it … easy now.”

 

I had suddenly seen what he was trying to do, and as Dr. Darby lifted the head of the door, I guided its foot down into the space between the passenger’s seat and the instrument panel.

 

With surprisingly little struggle, our task was finished. With the Gypsy jutting up at a rigid angle, the little Morris looked like an oversized woodworking plane; the Gypsy herself like a mummy lashed to a board.

 

It isn’t the neatest of arrangements, I remember thinking, but it will do.

 

“You’ll have to stay here,” Dr. Darby said, wedging himself in behind the steering wheel. “There’s not room for the three of us in the old bus. Just stay put and don’t touch anything. I’ll send the police as soon as I’m able.”

 

What he meant, of course, was that I was in far less physical danger if I remained in one spot, rather than risking the possibility of flushing out the Gypsy’s attacker by walking home alone to Buckshaw.

 

I gave the doctor a halfhearted thumbs-up. More than that would have been out of place.

 

He let in the clutch and the car, with its weird cargo, began teetering slowly across the grove. As it crept over the humpbacked bridge, I had my last glimpse of the Gypsy, her face dead white in the light of a sudden moon.

 

 

 

 

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