“No, Addison. It’s me who should be pleading with you. I don’t want you to leave at all. Stay. I was so wrong to handle things the way I did back there. All I can say in my defense is that I was shocked. Tiffany had literally just given me the news, and you walked in a few seconds later. If I’d had even ten minutes to let it settle in, I’d like to believe I would’ve handled it all very differently.”
“So you’re saying you want me to stay and continue being Dylan’s nanny?” Joy and sadness melded together in a nauseating brew, and I swallowed hard. Could I do that? Could I stay here in this house and not be with Max?
“No,” he said, running the tip of his thumb over the pulse in my wrist. “I want you to stay, but not as Dylan’s nanny.”
I was still trying to catch his meaning when he dropped to one knee and gazed up at me, his beautiful eyes blazing. “I want you to stay as my fiancée.”
The world spun, my heart stuttering as I looked down at him in disbelief. “Are you for real right now?”
He gave me a sad smile and nodded. “I am. You gave Dylan your love, you gave us your time, you shared yourself with me, and after your past, I know that took courage. If you can’t forgive me for the way I treated you back there, I understand, but I realized something today. I fucking love you. If I didn’t, knowing that you lied to me wouldn’t have felt the way it did.”
Shame hit me almost as hard as his declaration of love. Was this really happening? “Max, I—”
“Let me finish. I should’ve thought about how much you’ve proven yourself to us, and how much I do truly trust you. So, here’s my take on what happened. You were fully able to care for Dylan and knew graduating was just a formality. Then, the further things went, the more afraid you were to tell me.” He frowned, his dark brows knitting together. “I don’t like that you felt like you couldn’t be honest with me, but then I realized that’s partially on me. I should’ve made you feel secure. Told you how much Dylan and I both care for you and need you. Then you would’ve felt safe telling me, and you’d have known that something like that could never tear us apart.”
He lifted his hands to rest on my hips and squeezed. “So put me out of my misery and tell me that you love me too. Tell me that we can put this in the past and move forward as a couple. Marry me, Addison. Please. We can raise Dylan together; you can go back to school if you want to. Whatever makes you happy. Just don’t go.”
My mouth was bone dry as I tried to get the words out. I went to speak, but a wail broke out in the next room.
Dylan.
“Shit,” Max muttered with a wry laugh as he stood. “I put her in the crib with some toys so we could talk, but she’s clearly done with them now. I know today has been crazy, so I want you to think about it. Just promise me you won’t go.”
I nodded. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll unpack.” I watched him leave, adrenaline from the roller coaster of the past few hours coursing through my veins.
As thrilled as I was that he’d said the L-word, I couldn’t help but wonder if it had been a knee-jerk reaction to almost losing me. What happened if I went all in with him again emotionally and said yes, only to have him change his mind tomorrow? I’d done that. Gave Greg everything and more, and when he decided to pull the rug out from under me, I was left with nothing. I needed to be sure. Needed to be sure Max was sure.
He had offered me some time, so I would take it. I knew what I wanted. Max and Dylan, forever and ever. It was Max I wasn’t so sure of, and the risk I was subjecting myself to scared the hell out of me.
I said a little prayer under my breath and set my suitcase back on the bed.
Please, God, let this be real. I don’t think my heart could take it if it’s not.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Max
Don’t pressure her.
I stood in front of Dylan’s door three hours after my proposal, crippled with indecision. Through dinner, bath time, and even a glass of wine, Addison hadn’t said a word about it.
After the debacle at my office earlier in the day, I’d spent the rest of that afternoon kicking myself for being so hard on her. Especially in light of the way she’d embraced Dylan. She was as in love with my daughter as I was, and it showed in everything she did. Who cared about a few college credits?
Once I’d gotten over the initial surprise and realized I might lose Addison, it had become so clear to me that I wanted her in my life permanently.
But my “will you marry me” had been met with stunned silence. Not what I’d been hoping for at all. I could only hope that once she had a little time to think, she’d see how awesome it would be. The three of us together, like a real family. Who knew? Maybe it could even be the four of us someday . . . or the five of us.
That thought lessened the tightness in my chest a little.
I stood by Dylan’s bedroom door and pressed an ear to it, slumping with relief at the sound of silence. She’d been fussy for most of the day at my office and had missed her nap, so I’d put her down early. The first fifteen minutes had been hell as she’d wailed and whimpered, even calling us by name.