‘Can’t you see?’ she said, grabbing my forearm. ‘He’s been doing all these things and blaming me!’
‘Pull yourself together, you’re frightening Jamie,’ I said, yanking my arm from her grip. I had just had the most horrific night of my life, and now it seemed never-ending. How could I tell her that the noise that she heard was most likely the digger Theresa had hired? Holding on to my son, I checked the doors and windows were secure. ‘Has anyone been in the house?’ I said, trying to establish what had happened in my absence. I was rewarded with a quick shake of the head. I carried Jamie back to bed and wrapped him up in his blanket. Dawn had seeped through the sky as soft shafts of golden light touched his bedspread. ‘Where were you, Daddy?’ Jamie said, his words punctuated with a yawn.
‘At work. But I’m back now. What happened? Did Mummy have a nightmare?’ I said. It was the only thing I could think of, to chase his worries away.
Jamie shrugged, drawing his teddy to his chest as the memory filtered in. ‘Mummy woke me up ’cos she was shouting. But when I looked for her, there was nobody here.’ His bottom lip trembled. ‘I was scared.’
‘We’re here now,’ I said, fingering his soft blond hair from his forehead.
‘Mummy said there was a bad man outside. She was trying to chase him away. I don’t want the bad man to get me.’
I inhaled deeply, trying to push my rising anger down. The only bad man was the one in Emma’s head. I couldn’t afford to leave Jamie alone with her any more. ‘You get some sleep,’ I said. ‘Mummy was just dreaming. Daddy’s going to look after you. I’m never leaving you alone again.’
Jamie raised his little finger for the most solemn of vows. ‘Pinky promise?’ he said, and my heart melted as I joined my little finger in his. ‘Pinky promise.’ I kissed him on the forehead before I rose, and left his bedroom door slightly ajar. I had made a vow to my son, and I would not let him down. I had seen the evidence with my own eyes. Held the skull of the man Emma had murdered. As soon as she left the house, I was going to Leeds and taking Jamie with me.
CHAPTER SIXTY-ONE
ALEX
2017
I found Emma in the bathroom, furiously scrubbing at the soles of her feet. Puffs of steam clouded around her, and she seemed oblivious of my presence. How long had she been awake? Had she slept at all? Anger and pity fought for dominance as my emotions twisted inside me.
I drew an intake of breath at the sight of her red raw skin. ‘Emma, stop it,’ I said, taking the nail brush from her hand. I passed her a towel before turning off the tap, wincing as I almost burned my fingers.
‘We need to call the police,’ she said, drying between her toes.
‘And have another social services report made?’ My words were firm. ‘Just what happened tonight? Jamie said you left him alone again. How could you?’
‘Luke . . . He rang the house phone. At first I thought it was a silent call, then I heard a voice on the other side. Next he started banging on the front door and then the back. It was driving me mad . . .’ She raised her hands to her temples as if her thoughts were causing her pain. ‘Then I saw him at the window. I’d had enough, so I ran outside to have it out with him. But he was gone.’
‘Will you listen to yourself?’ I said, shaking my head. ‘Running outside in your bare feet leaving Jamie on his own?’
‘It was only for a minute. I did it to protect him.’
‘It was only for a minute in the car park, remember, when you almost got him killed? You’re acting crazy. Isn’t it time you told me the truth?’
‘The truth?’ she said, looking at me as if I were speaking a different language. ‘I’ve told you everything.’
I almost laughed out loud. I could have told her about recovering Luke’s body, that it couldn’t possibly have been him at the door. And who had fathered Jamie, a ghost? But she was not in the right frame of mind to take it in. I thought about my son asleep in his bedroom and the pinky promise I had made. Right now, he would be safer without her, at least until we sorted this mess out. Emma had lied from the beginning. Now she was saying that Luke was back, even though Theresa had what was left of his body hidden God knows where. I had to accept the truth. Emma was unwell, a danger to those around her. It stopped here.
She followed me into the kitchen. ‘You don’t believe me, do you? You think I’m making it all up. How am I meant to protect my family if you don’t listen to a word I say?’
I stepped back as she leaned on the kitchen counter, suddenly aware of the block of knives near her hand. One of the knives was missing. I tensed, waiting for her next move. I would not be her next victim. She followed my glance to the knives behind her. ‘So you’re frightened of me now? What’s going on with you?’ she said, her voice shaking. ‘I wouldn’t hurt you. I’m just trying to make you understand.’
I ran my fingers through my hair. I needed her to calm down, to recover the situation so we could both carry on with our day. ‘I’m tired,’ I said. ‘I’m going to bed.’
‘What about Luke? We need to sort this,’ she said.
‘We will. Tonight when you get back from work. I promise.’
I hoped to leave it there, but Emma followed me into the bedroom. ‘Work? You want me to go to work?’
I nodded, undoing the buttons of my shirt. ‘It’s best we keep things normal for now. Go to work, give Josh a call, see if you can get him to come in. Then, when you’ve got cover for the shop, we’ll go to Leeds. Sort out the sale of the house from there. After tonight, I’m not spending another night in this house.’
Emma sighed wearily. ‘I suppose we could rent somewhere until it all goes through.’
I felt like a shit for lying to her, but I had no choice. ‘I don’t have to be in work until later. Let Jamie sleep in. I’ll take him to school on my way.’
‘OK,’ Emma said, hanging up her clothes in our wardrobe. ‘I’ll talk to Theresa when I get in, tell her we’re leaving early.’
I turned away, unable to look her in the face.
I didn’t expect to sleep, and it felt like minutes had passed when the alarm on my phone rang at nine. It was a relief to see that Emma had gone, leaving me a note to say she would ring me later on. I pulled back the duvet, a sudden thought making me freeze in my tracks. Jamie. What if she had guessed my plans and already taken him from me? An image flashed through my mind, of Emma disappearing with my son. I had vowed to protect him yet here I was, asleep in bed. I padded across the hall, my heart thundering in my chest. Would he have left without making a sound? Emma was paranoid and upset. Stories of mothers killing their children came to the forefront of my mind. Time seemed to slow down as I pushed open Jamie’s bedroom door.
CHAPTER SIXTY-TWO
EMMA
2017
I rubbed my eyelids, which were still sticky with make-up from the day before. I strained to remember if I had showered this morning. Had I even brushed my hair? My focus had been on keeping guard on our home. I didn’t know how Alex could sleep after everything I had told him the night before.
Had I known he’d be called into work I would not have taken a sleeping tablet the night before. It had brought with it fierce nightmares, and when I first heard the phone ringing from the hall I struggled to differentiate reality from my dreams. I had jumped out of bed, my heart beating wildly as I crashed through our bedroom, knocking over our bedside lamp and almost falling to my knees. I had half expected the ringing to stop by the time I got to the hall.