She dropped her eyes, and he felt her shift her weight back on her heels, distancing herself again. Her fingers skimmed his waist, giving him more contradictory signals. One moment she seemed interested in him, and the next, he could practically see her zipping herself into her own private bubble. She ran her tongue along her lower lip and lifted a sensual gaze to his face. He was too drawn to her to stop himself from covering her mouth with his.
She tasted sweet and hot and too good for just one quick kiss. His hands slid around her waist to her back, and he pressed her soft curves against him. Just as he worried that he should pull away, she slipped her hands beneath his shirt and pressed them flat against his back, holding them chest to chest. He deepened the kiss, aching for more. A sexy, needful moan slipped from her lungs to his, intensifying his desire. They were definitely on the same page. He hadn’t made out like this in years, and he wasn’t thinking, or pushing. He was just going with it. Like everything else with Bella, it felt natural, and he didn’t care why. Some things were just meant to be.
He tangled his hand in her hair and tugged her head back, exposing her supple neck for him to taste, suck, devour. Her skin was sweet and salty, and he couldn’t resist sliding his other hand down her hip, and holding on to her bottom. His name sailed off her lips in a hot breath as she clung to him. He took her in another greedy kiss and felt her body vibrating against his as they breathed air into each other’s lungs, then drew apart in need of more.
She looked up at him with a sexy smile, and he kissed her again, slowly and tenderly, this time. He laced his fingers with hers and brought them to his lips, gazing into her confused eyes.
“Why did we stop?”
“Bella, I really like you, but…I can’t.” The truth came easily. Unfortunately, the pain did, too. “I’m sorry. I don’t take intimacy lightly, and you don’t believe in commitment.” He looked at the photographs on the mantel. He’d never been overly impetuous, but after Caty took off and Evan had been left without a mother, the ramifications of his feelings and his actions were driven home. He’d become even more careful with both. He drew Bella close again and kissed the top of her head.
“I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t have…” But wow did I want to. He felt his resolve soften at the sight of her flushed cheeks and the desire that lingered in her eyes. He gritted his teeth against the lust that burned within him. “I couldn’t help myself. You totally got to me.”
She narrowed her eyes. “So, are you like a tease? Make a girl excited, then drop her?”
He knew that she meant it as a tease, but she hadn’t even heard the part about commitment. “Have you been with guys like that?”
“No, but…”
“No,” he said too harshly. He took a step back. “I’m not a make-the-girl-excited-and…come on, Bella.”
“Well, what am I supposed to think?” Her voice hitched, and he realized it wasn’t anger that drove her harsh reaction. It was pain, or embarrassment, or maybe both.
“What should you think? I don’t know. Maybe that I’m a guy with a teenager who knows that sex has ramifications, or a man who’s incredibly attracted to you but doesn’t want to be the guy you sleep with and then walk away from.” He paced the floor, feeling guilty for touching her and hungry for more of her. One big confused mix of emotions. “I’m sorry. It’s been a very long time since I’ve felt like this, and I don’t really know how to handle it.”
She looked away. “Can I use your bathroom?”
Way to avoid the situation.
“Of course.” He showed her to the bathroom and went to splash some cold water on his face. When he returned, she was looking out the window at the garden in his backyard. He wrapped his arms around her waist and felt her body stiffen. Damn. He loosened his grip and took a step back. She clutched his forearm, holding his arms around her.
She turned to face him and pressed her hands to his chest. “I’m sorry for my reaction. I was just…I’m in a weird place right now.”
“Then we make a great pair.” He kissed her forehead.
“Still want to go to the beach?”
She sounded as confused by their connection as he was. “Let me get my suit on, and I promise to try to keep my hands off of you for the rest of the day.”
Her voice trailed him into the bedroom. “Way to squash a girl’s hopes in one sentence.”
Could he get any more confused?
Chapter Five
“I THINK YOU’RE overreacting.” Jenna sat on the floor at the edge of Bella’s closet, organizing her sandals and flip-flops while Bella dried her hair. “How would you feel right now if you had slept with him this afternoon? My bet is not great.”
Bella turned the hair dryer off and sat on the bed. “I don’t know. I only know that when he stopped, I wished he hadn’t, and when he said that stuff about me not committing, I wanted to run away.”
“Which you did—into the bathroom.” Jenna sat beside Bella and rested her head on Bella’s shoulder. “Why do you have to classify things? Why can’t you just do what you feel and forget commitment or not committing altogether?”
“Why do I classify…? Jenna, you just organized my sandals alphabetically by color. Alabaster, blue, green…” Bella jumped up and planted her hands on her hips. “Because that’s what I have to do right now to make sure I stick to my guns until my life is in order. But it’s not easy, because being with Caden feels totally different from all the other guys I’ve dated combined. More real. When we’re together, things feel right, like we’re not just talking about crap or putting on our best faces to make a good impression. It’s like we skipped all that.”
“Because he is real, Bell.” Jenna smoothed a wrinkle in the edge of Bella’s dress. “You invited him to our barbeque tonight, so yeah, he’s a living, breathing guy.”
They were having a community barbeque, and despite her desire for no commitments and her earlier confusion, Bella was excited that Caden and Evan were joining them. She went to the mirror and smoothed her yellow spaghetti-strap sundress, glancing over her shoulder at her butt.
“Don’t worry. You look hot,” Jenna assured her.
“Lotta good that does me.” Bella dragged Jenna into the kitchen, took a bucket of frozen margaritas out of the freezer, and filled two glasses. “Anyway, you’re right. It’s a good thing we didn’t end up doing it. It makes it easier to stick to my plan. No boyfriend will make it easier for me to think more clearly when I’m making my decisions about work.” Liar, liar.
“You know I see right through that, right?” Jenna crossed her arms, jutted her hip out, and gave her the don’t-even-try-to-avoid-the-truth stare she’d perfected in middle school.
“It sounded good though, didn’t it?” Bella arched a brow. “I almost bought it.”
Jenna took a drink of her margarita, and ice spilled down her chin and slid between her breasts. “Ugh!” She watched it disappear into her cleavage. “That feels better.”