Liam shook his head. “I don’t accept that.”
“You have to,” Ryder said through a short laugh. “Because tomorrow—”
“You’ll die.” Liam’s mouth tensed and he rolled his lips together, eyelashes sweeping up and down as he glanced around Ryder’s face. “And you’ll come back.”
“I didn’t know if it would go away. For some reason I thought it might, like I’d been compelled, like you were some bullshit Fae with an unshakable hold on me, and then I realized it wasn’t compulsion or a spell. I was done for. It was you and you were all I was ever gonna be able to look at.” The words rushed from Ryder’s mouth clumsily. He wished he could’ve picked them up and swallowed them back down. “You wanted to know. There. Now you know.”
Rain hit the ground, slow and then fast, light and then in quarter sized drops. Ryder wondered if Liam had been the cause of it, if his magic had reached into the clouds and initiated a downpour.
“Guys…?” Christy held open the door to the pizza parlor and peeked around it. “The pizza’s getting cold and you’re getting soaked.”
“Food’s getting cold,” Ryder mumbled. He brushed past Liam as he walked by and followed Christy to the table.
Donovan paused midbite of a greasy piece of veggie pizza when Ryder sat down. “Hey,” he slurred. “We got the weird barbeque ranch for you.”
“Thanks.” Ryder tried to smile, but the conversation outside with Liam mixed with the conversation he’d had in the truck weighed it down. “Sorry if I scared you last night.”
“You didn’t,” Donovan said. “I’ve seen worse. You okay?”
Liam slid into the booth next to Ryder. His energy was heavy and chaotic, buzzing on Ryder’s skin like a thousand wasps.
“I’m fine.” Ryder grabbed a piece of pizza and the side of barbeque ranch that no one else would touch.
“You gonna tell them or not?” Liam snapped.
Ryder chewed on the inside of his cheek and picked jalape?os off his pizza. Christy’s magic drifted across his thoughts, testing a poke here, a prod there. He stayed still and allowed it. Her energy wrapped around a few things, information he’d kept to himself. She lingered over the conversation with Liam and then moved on, which he appreciated. As soon as he felt her snag the word demonology, he pushed back, burning her.
Christy flinched. “You’re choosing to die?”
“And come back, hopefully,” Ryder said. He swiped a fry through a puddle of ketchup and chomped on it.
“Hopefully,” Liam echoed under his breath.
“And it’s safe?” Donovan asked.
Ryder stifled a laugh. “Nothing’s safe. We’re witches.”
“Demons definitely aren’t safe,” Christy mumbled.
Ryder’s magic cracked like a whip. It undulated around them, dark and fiery and horribly thick. The table went silent. Even Liam held his breath.
“What’d Tyler say?” Ryder asked. His magic retreated.
Liam swept his gaze sideways. “That he thinks our circle would be compromised if we let a necromancer stay connected to us.”
Typical. Ryder took a bite of his pizza. Somewhere underneath the anger, it hurt.
“But he can also go fuck himself, so…” Liam grabbed the discarded jalape?os off Ryder’s plate and put them on his pizza.
“Ty doesn’t really feel that way,” Christy stressed. She sighed and shook her head, nudging Donovan with her elbow. “Right?”
“You’re the psychic,” Donovan said.
“He’s just scared and traditional and he doesn’t like change, but you know him better than the rest of us, so…” Christy looked down at her half-eaten pizza and her lips thinned into a knowing smile. “What has he said to you?”
Donovan shot her a deadly glare.
Ryder caught the distinct, private look on her face. He caught Donovan’s blush too.
“That’s not fucking fair,” Liam snapped. He gestured between Christy and Donovan. “You’re telling me, hey, look at me—” He snapped his fingers in front of Christy until she looked up. “You’re telling me Donovan and Tyler are screwing around?”
“You don’t have to say it like that,” Donovan growled. “Don’t blame me for your—” he gestured between Ryder and Donovan with a wave of his hand “—petty bullshit. No one was stopping you two!”
“Actually,” Ryder sang, “someone was, but whatever. Good to know Tyler can have what he wants, and no one else can.”
“It hasn’t been going on long,” Donovan said softly. “It just… happened.”
“Guys, can we not,” Christy said through a sigh.
Thunder cracked outside. Ryder was almost sure Liam had spurred it on.
“Okay, we’re done with secrets.” Christy waved around the table, gesturing wildly to everyone. “Donovan and Tyler are a thing, you two” —she pointed to Ryder and Liam— “are a thing, and I” —she laid her hand over her chest and offered a wide, sarcastic grin— “am disgustingly single. This is literally the least of my worries right now seeing as Ryder is going to die tomorrow.”
His cheeks were hot and his magic still crackled around them, but Ryder couldn’t help the small smile that pulled his lips upright. You two are a thing. The words played in his head again and again. It felt good to have something out in the open for once.
“What happens if…?” Donovan didn’t need to continue.
Christy looked away as if she’d seen something gruesome.
“If I don’t come back?” Ryder asked.
The table went quiet. Christy played with her long braid and looked at her lap. Liam didn’t move or breathe or say a word. Donovan picked at the pizza crust left on his plate and nodded.
“Then I stay dead,” Ryder said matter-of-factly. “That’s it.”
Donovan’s expression dropped. “And there’s no way to know for sure?”
“No.”
“What about—?”
“Donovan,” Ryder snapped. He swallowed around the jagged lump in his throat. “I’ll be fine, all right?”
Tension looped around them and pulled tight. A flash of lightning lit the window. Wind whipped around them, energy they all knew but hadn’t expected. Ryder didn’t look up. He didn’t move from his place against the wall. His heart raced and his thoughts overlapped. Everything kept colliding too quickly for him to grasp, details flying by in the blink of an eye. He was going to die tomorrow. Liam’s lips were softer than he ever imagined. Jordan had made pacts with demons. Donovan was something. Christy knew about Ryder’s other secret and hadn’t said a word. Liam had been looking back at him for two years.
Nothing was sedentary. Everything was too fast, too soon.
Tyler walked toward them with confident strides, like he always did. Ryder glanced at him without moving. A scarf was wrapped around his neck over a plain sweatshirt. His wet shoes squeaked against the tile.
“You’re going through with the ceremony?” Tyler asked. His palm slammed against the table. “You’re really doing this?”
Liam’s magic flared. Ryder gripped his thigh under the table.
“I have to,” Ryder said. He locked eyes with Tyler and his mouth tightened into a line. “I won’t risk anyone’s life. I do this, I get control over it, and I move on.”