Liam rested his hand on Ryder’s leg.
“Donovan thinks it’s fine, and he wishes you would’ve told us sooner. Tyler…” Christy paused to gnaw on her bottom lip.
“Tyler what?” Ryder asked. He swallowed the lump in his throat and pawed at his face with the back of his hands. His cheeks were wet and Ryder’s top lip curled, embarrassed that he’d let himself get worked up.
“Tyler was angry. He yelled at Thalia when he found out she’d known about you, and Thalia cut off his air supply for two minutes while she lectured him. It wasn’t pretty. Tyler almost passed out. I left after that, but Donovan texted me and told me Tyler was still pissed.”
“Thalia Sith choked him?” Ryder asked through a laugh.
Christy’s head listed and she rolled her eyes. “Yes, asshole. She did. Will you guys meet me and Donovan for dinner tonight?”
Liam sighed. “Without Ty?”
Christy nodded.
“Sure, yeah, whatever, but I need to talk to my sister at some point about getting the other alchemists ready for the ceremony.” Ryder stood up. He noticed Christy take another step back. He ignored it, but her fear still stung. “Where are we eating?”
“Archy’s?” Christy offered timidly.
“Yeah, see you tonight.” Ryder glanced at her.
She held eye contact with him for a moment, as if she wanted him to know she could. “Seven?”
Ryder nodded. Christy glanced at Liam before she closed the door. Her shoes smacked the concrete stairs as she barreled down them.
His friends were afraid of him. His circle-mates were afraid of him. Ryder rested his hands on the back of the couch and closed his eyes.
“You’re doing it?” Liam asked.
“Yeah,” Ryder said quickly. “I have to do something, don’t I?”
“Dying isn’t something.”
“Jordan and my dad will bring me back.”
“And if they can’t? What if something goes wrong?”
“Then I stay dead,” Ryder snapped.
Opal ruffled her feathers from the bookcase. Percy hissed.
Ryder tried to dip out of the living room, but Liam caught him by the arm in the hallway. His back hit the wall and steam gusted from him, lungs heaving as Liam grabbed both his wrists and slammed them above his head.
“That’s not an option.” Liam’s voice was a tidal wave. It sounded like a waterfall crashed inside him. His brown eyes were gone, replaced by gray, ghostly orbs that stared at Ryder under a tense brow.
Black smoke coiled defensively around Ryder. It was the first time he’d ever conjured it, and it felt sticky and unmade, like time cracked apart as it drifted from under his feet. “Get off me.”
“I’m not scared of you,” Liam snapped.
Ryder tasted the words before he said them, bloody and thick. “You should be.”
Liam’s magic thrashed, a storm in Ryder’s ears. His grip loosened on Ryder’s wrists, but he didn’t let go. They were too close. Liam’s nose brushed his cheek, his breath smelled like ginger tea, but was unnaturally cold under the weight of his magic. A strand of dark hair fell over his brow and he exhaled sharply when the black smoke wrapped around his legs.
“I could hurt you,” Ryder said.
“I’d let you.” Liam leaned against him. His Water magic circled them, sinking into Ryder as he reached for it, beckoning it into his skin, his mouth, his lungs. He hadn’t realized it until his heartbeat accelerated, and he thought back to Christy’s shrill voice minutes ago. Stop syphoning, Ryder! The act of the spell came naturally, as if Ryder had been doing it for as long as he’d been breathing. The truth of practicing dark magic rushed to the surface.
No wonder people say it’s addicting.
It felt like drugs—like snorting a line of coke, or smoking too much weed, or peaking on ecstasy. Oh, Ryder thought, this is what it’s like. He pulled on Liam’s magic until it sank into his bones, until it surrounded him, broken apart and pieced back together. He recognized every particle of it. The living, breathing essence of Liam expanded and compressed: mist on Ryder’s face, the shock of an icy river, the comfortability of warm summer rain.
He pulled on Liam’s magic, dug his claws in and sighed when it met the Fire inside him.
“Careful,” Liam whispered. He dropped his hands. One rested on Ryder’s face, the other gripped his hip. “Don’t get greedy.”
“I’ll give it back,” Ryder whispered. His voice was haunting and rich, unfamiliar even to himself. “What does it feel like?”
“Like you’re inside me,” Liam said.
Ryder’s eyes fluttered closed. Heat flared at the base of his spine. “You can’t say shit like that right now.”
“It’s the truth.”
“I barely have control as it is,” Ryder gritted.
“Let it go.” Liam’s lips dusted Ryder’s mouth.
“I could kill you,” Ryder seethed. He kissed Liam and pushed the magic back where it came from. It was charged and electrified and hot. It rushed between them, inhaled through a ragged gasp that Liam barely tried to contain. Ryder sank his teeth into Liam’s bottom lip. “Don’t you get that?”
Liam made a wounded sound, one that brought chills to Ryder’s arms and made him ache low in his abdomen. He clutched Ryder and opened his eyes, their translucence gleaming and pretty surrounded by Ryder’s black smoke.
The energy calmed. Ryder let out a breath. Liam rested his forehead on Ryder’s shoulder.
“Feel better?” Liam asked.
“Yeah, you?”
“I was fine before, but I’m better now.”
“I need to talk to Jordie.” Ryder sagged against the wall, and Liam leaned heavily against him. “Because that—” He paused to sigh. “—is the dangerous shit Thalia was talking about.”
“You’re not dangerous,” Liam whispered.
Ryder nosed at Liam’s neck. “I felt your heartbeat,” he said shakily. The echo of it lingered in his palms. “It was like I had my hand wrapped around it, like I could’ve pulled it right out of your chest if I wanted to.”
Liam nodded.
“That’s dangerous,” Ryder repeated. He pushed on Liam’s waist and slipped away from him. His hands trembled. His heartbeat stampeded. Adrenaline raced through him. His senses were heightened, making every creak in the apartment and rustle of Opal’s feather sound closer. “Maybe you should talk to Tyler while I’m with Jordan.”
Liam leaned against the doorframe of the bedroom with his arms folded across his chest. “Without you?”
“Yeah.” Ryder put on a different pair of jeans and a black long-sleeved thermal. He watched Liam push his hair back, caught the restless flick of his eyes and twitch of his fingertips. They were both electrified, overdosed on magic. “He trusts you. He might listen.”
“He trusted me,” Liam corrected. “But yeah, I can give it a shot.”
Ryder pulled a beanie over his ears. “I’ll see you tonight.”
Liam stepped in front of him when he tried to walk through the doorway. They were almost the same height. Ryder was an inch or two shorter. His gaze wandered over Liam’s face, from the lingering blush on his cheeks to the fluctuation of his pupils, swelling and compressing over and over.