My life has been a struggle since I left, but knowing that one day,I’d have the chance to talk to Ramon and explain, had kept me going.
And all that time he’s been fucking someone else. Does the‘someone’ live with him? Is this person male or female? I grimace at the thought and I’m not sure if I would be angrier if it was a woman or a man. I know Ramon likes a bit of both, or he did. A few months after meeting me, he lost interest in women, and just wanted me.
I push through the doors ofthe bar and wonder why the fuck he couldn’t hang on and wait for me. Because he had no idea why you left or that you intended to come back. Trying to reconcile my want with fact, I drop down into the only vacant seat at the bar and point toward the Jack D, behind the bartender.
The guy starts to tip the bottle over my glass when I hold out three fingers. He raises his brow, but continues to pour.
“Bad day?” he asks.
“You have no idea,” I reply.
The bartender watches me drain the glass and when I slam it down on the bar, he adds another three fingers without being asked.
As I watch the bartender pour the golden liquid, I realize how young he is. The fact that he’s tending bar tellsme he’s at least twenty-one, not much past though. He looks fresh out of high school with his baby face, and the slight shake to his hand as he pours my drink.
I have no interest in anyone so young, but the thought of having Ramon catch me chatting him up causes a small smile to slip across my lips. If Ramon comes after me, that is. Oh, he’ll come after you.
Since I left Lexington, I’ve been keeping a low profile and moving from town to town. I’ve never stayed long where I landed and I only worked for cash, paid out daily, so I could leave town as quickly as I arrived if needed. My hope was that all the shit and threats I left behind wouldn’t follow me.
Two years ago, all I could think about was keeping Ramon safe. Now, the threat is over and I want to pick up where we left off. I grin sourly into my drink before I take a long swallow, the irony of it all not lost on me. I’d expected a warm welcome. I thought Ramon was waiting for me, and that the moment he saw me, everything would be the way it had been before I left. I realize now how fucking stupid that was.
The dream that has kept me sane is no longer there, so what the fuck am I supposed to do?
Draining the glass again, I cover the top with my hand when the bartender goes to pour.“No...I want more, but I just need the edge off for now.”
“Whatever you say.” He turns and places the bottle back before leaning on the bar toward me.“So, what’s your story?”
It’s clear he’s gay. With the look he’s giving me,there’s no chance he’s anything but.
“You don’t want to get involved with me, kid.” I hold his gaze and notice a slight flicker of his lashes when I say kid. He doesn’t like that. He probably plans to hustle me—ply me with drink and,when I can’t see straight, rob me blind.
I’ve seen it happen more than once, which is why I never drink in excess anymore, no matter how much I want to.
“You’re interested,” he insists.“I can tell.”
“Hmm, is that so?”
“It is. You want to know how I can tell?”
I might as well.“Go on.”
“I’ve been watching you since you walked through the doors, and your eyes have followed me around the bar.” He points behind him.“I can see everything through the chrome.”
Great!
“You’re too young for me, and I think you should move on.” I wave down the bar toward the blond guy nursing a tall glass.
I toss enough cashdown on the bar to cover my tab plus tip, and smile to myself when he quickly grabs the cash, pocketing some so fast that I’m sure he’s skimming his employer.
Who the fuck cares? He can do what the fuck he wants because the last thing I want or need is trouble from his direction while I’m trying to figure out the direction I need to head to get Ramon back.
With my head starting to throb, I move away from the bar toward the door. I push through the evening crowd, which has thickened since I came in here, and notice the stares directed at me by three tall, overweight guys around the dartboard.
Slipping outside, I start to make my way to the motel’s officeto try and get a room. I might not be drunk, but driving on the roads around here after only one drink isn’t advisable. One false move and I’d be through the barrier and in a ditch…or even worse, at the bottom of a mountain. If I were lucky enough to walk away,I’d always wonder about that drink I had. Not worth it.