‘Louisa.’ He pushed a lock of hair back from my eyes. And I felt my face crumple. I placed it against his and clenched my jaw and breathed in the scent of him, trying to embed some of that solidity into myself. And then, before I could change my mind, I let out a strangled ‘Bye’ that might have been a sob or a cough or a stupid half-laugh, I’m not sure even I could tell. And I turned and walked briskly towards security, pulling my case behind me, before I could change my mind.
I flashed the new passport, the ESTA that was my key to my future at a uniformed official, whose face I could barely make out through my tears. And then as I was waved through, almost on impulse, I spun on my heel. There he was, standing against the barrier, still watching. We locked eyes, and he lifted a hand, his palm open, and I lifted mine slowly in return. I fixed that image of him in my imagination – the way he tilted forward, the light on his hair, the steady way he always looked at me – somewhere where I could draw it up on lonely days. Because there would be lonely days. And bad days. And days when I wondered what the hell I had just agreed to be part of. Because that was all part of the adventure too.
I love you, I mouthed, not sure if he could even see the words from here.
And then, holding my passport tight in my hand, I turned away.
He would be there, watching as my plane gathered speed and lifted into the great blue sky beyond. And, with luck, he would be there, waiting, when I came home again.
Acknowledgements
Thank you, as ever, to my agent, Sheila Crowley, and my editor Louise Moore, for their continuing faith and endless support. Thanks to the many talented people at Penguin Michael Joseph who help turn a raw draft into something glossy on legions of bookshelves, particularly: Maxine Hitchcock, Francesca Russell, Hazel Orme, Hattie Adam-Smith, Sophie Elletson, Tom Weldon, and all the unsung heroes who help get us authors out there. I love being part of your team.
Huge gratitude to everyone who works alongside Sheila at Curtis Brown for your support, especially Rebecca Ritchie, Katie McGowan, Sophie Harris, Nick Marston, Kat Buckle, Raneet Ahuja, Jess Cooper, Alice Lutyens, Sara Gad and of course Jonny Geller. In the US, thank you to the inimitable Bob Bookman. It’s in the box, Bob!
Thank you for friendship, advice and wisdom-filled lunches on related stuff to Cathy Runciman, Maddy Wickham, Sarah Millican, Ol Parker, Polly Samson, Damian Barr, Alex Heminsley, Jess Ruston and all at Writersblock. You all rock.
Closer to home, thank you to Jackie Tearne (I will be up to date with email one day, I promise!), Claire Roweth, Chris Luckley, Drew Hazell, and everyone who helps me do what I do.
Thank you also to the cast and crew of Me Before You. To be there as my characters were made flesh was an extraordinary privilege, and one I will never forget. You were all, uniformly, brilliant (but especially you, Emilia and Sam).
Thanks and love to my parents – Jim Moyes and Lizzie Sanders – and most of all to Charles, Saskia, Harry and Lockie. My world.
And a final thank you to the legions of people who wrote, via Twitter or facebook or my website, caring enough about Lou to want to know what happened to her. I might not have considered writing this book if she hadn’t continued to live so vividly in your imaginations. I’m so glad she did.