She answered my curious gaze. “It’s yours, and I think you should be able to read it.”
I could do nothing but nod. It didn’t matter, her expression made it clear she considered herself forgiven. She turned, facing the direction Chevelle had gone, and left me to my discoveries.
I expected fury from my father. He never failed to disappoint me. He saw the child, as he called her, as an opportunity. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, had he not stolen my mother for precisely the same purpose, experimenting with power? He did, however, concern himself with where I’d found a human. I refused to tell. It was the only gift I could give Noble, his safety. I laughed as I remembered that was how I’d convinced him to stay, promising him protection. A false promise. Eventually, one of the servants slipped, revealing they had seen me following my sister. And just like that, she was to blame for the entire ordeal, even though she’d never known. She’d been still searching the empty camp. At least I was off the hook.
I surprised myself by being so slow. Of course, her sister would have been Aunt Fannie. For a flash, I felt sympathy for Fannie… but it passed. Just because life gave her sour grapes didn't mean she had to stomp them into wine and get drunk. Had Fannie known all along? I couldn’t answer that. But she had been bound, as I was.
The elders were a different story altogether. My father had given them orders to protect me and the child, and even though they followed through with them, they persisted in chattering about their concerns. The humans frightened them unreasonably. They constantly fretted, wanting to keep her, and me, from “contaminating” anyone else. I attempted to reason with them but they turned on me. “You don’t understand, you never will! They will consume you. The humans will consume us all.” Their hands shook as they spoke in a horrid tone, almost spitting out the words. I didn’t argue after that. I wouldn’t have been allowed to leave the castle anyway. Besides, it kept her from being paraded in front of so many visitors.
I stopped again. I had been born in a castle. I sat above the journal for a long moment. I decided the only way I could keep reading was if I did it as before I knew it was my mother, as if I were an uninvolved reader.
My Freya has grown to a stubborn and willful child. She’s prone to fits of screaming or crying. The emotion frightens the elders. It comes from her father, yes, but I can’t see how it will harm her. The humans seemed to live their lives fine, controlling it well enough.
I received a visit from my mother’s sister today. News of the child had reached her and she felt she needed to call on me, now that my mother was not here to guide me. I was in my room when she arrived. I heard the two quick raps and then one loud knock from her visits during my childhood and instantly knew it was her.
“Aunt Junnie!” I gushed as she came in. She wore a simple hooded cloak, seemingly unafraid as she passed the guards at my door. She walked as though she ruled the castle, not as if she were a light elf in the center of a dark lord’s rule.
She confessed to me a secret her family held, a power I had not known of my mother. They had kept it from my father, though he had stolen her after hearing a rumor of it. She passed to me many details of her sister, of the family… my family. She risked so much by coming here, to help me, to help my child. I would owe her.
I had to stop reading as betrayal ripped through me again. Though fear of burning the pages was not the only reason - tears were clouding my vision. Junnie.
Ruby laid her hands on mine, which were trembling now. Yes, I would take the dust again.
Tears streamed silently as I drifted to sleep, the ache in my chest only dulled by distraction. I felt weak when I woke but I was silent about the pain as we continued the journey. Yearning to avoid my thoughts altogether, I spent much of the day in the mind of my horse.
And the day passed.
It was evening again when we stopped. I barely noticed the group’s mood, though quiet, they seemed anxious and kept the perimeter close. Ruby brought me the book again and I took one long, deep breath before I started back.
Freya is growing and strong. She has amassed a following of sorts, though I suspect it is somehow connected to her frailties. There is something endearing about it, but some of it worries me. She doesn’t seem to be able to hear as well as she should through her rounded ears and her voice is oddly alto. She is a beauty, though, her unusual features earning her extra attention. The elders express their anxiety, again, that the humans will consume us but my father is already discussing arranged marriages, even mentioning Rune’s son, of all people. Anything he can to gain from her.
It was hard to read, this diary. My mother’s dairy. Her writings went on. Eventually, they became somewhat erratic.