And she’d known that. Given him the benefit of the doubt, and allowed him a freak-out session. He was entitled to one, after going through the hell he had.
“But he hasn’t come back, has he?” she said evenly. “It’s been three hours. He hasn’t called, sent a flower, card, or even a text. I’m in the hospital, Rick. I’ve made concessions for this man from day one. I’ve been there for him—put up with him—through everything. The one time I need him, he runs away. I’m better off without the jerk.”
That’s right, girl. Stay angry. Keep angry. Then you won’t feel the pain.
But she was lying to herself. Mac had been there when she’d needed him. The night in the shower after the EF-5, and later, when they’d visited her hometown. He’d been her rock. She hadn’t had a rock since Sam died. Okay, so she had been there for Mac more. But his wounds were fresher.
And there she went—making concessions for him again.
Disgusted with herself, she rolled her eyes.
“How you feeling otherwise?” Rick asked, looking at her bandages.
Thankful he’d dropped the topic of Mac, she said, “Sore as hell.”
“Seen the doctor?”
“Few hours ago. She said they’d release me in the morning.”
But Gayle had no interest in returning home to face Mac. How much longer would he be in town? At this point, she wanted him to leave immediately.
So she could pick up the pieces. Again.
God, that road was so familiar. Fool that she was, she’d hesitantly started to believe all the heartbreaking roads she’d traveled until now had been in preparation for Mac—her final road, her final destination. Wrong. He’d been just another man aiming to come into her life and tear it all to hell.
She was so over men. Permanently. This time for real.
There, that felt better.
“The SUV is totaled. We’ll have to rent a car to get back home,” Rick said.
She shrugged. They could stay right here, for all she cared. “Were you able to salvage any equipment?”
“I haven’t really had a chance to look.”
“Probably should get on that,” she said.
“You’ll be okay if I leave for a while?”
She knew why he was hedging, not wanting to leave her alone because of Mac’s abandonment, and that made her stomach cramp. “I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.”
She always had.
Still, he hesitated.
“Rick. Go.”
“All right. I’ll be by later.”
Once he was gone, she leaned back against the pillows and returned her gaze to the window. She tried to concentrate on the side of the other building, counting windows, bricks, people coming and going, but her mind kept wandering back to those last seconds before everything had gone black—the desperation of phoning Mac so he would know she was safe, not wanting him to worry for one minute that she’d been involved in the large tornado. Knowing he’d be going nuts if he didn’t hear from her. Then the tree falling. Their car flipping. The pain. And the vague awareness that Mac was hearing every single second of it.
And, as the darkness had claimed her, she remembered wishing she had told him she loved him, just once. So he’d know. In case she didn’t wake up…
Now that she was, she was so glad she hadn’t.
God, that was messed up, but the damn truth.
A light tap sounded on her door and she turned to find Lance standing there. For a second, her heart stopped. The disappointment that pierced her was physically painful when he walked in…alone.
“How you doin’?” he asked.
“Banged up. But I’ll live.”
There was a long silence, then Lance hung his head. “He’s gone, Gayle.”
She’d known that, but she still wasn’t prepared for the punch to the heart or how it knocked the air out of her lungs. She forced a shaky laugh. “What did he do? Have you drive him to Little Rock so he could jump on the first plane to get away from me?”
“Gayle, it wasn’t you. You know that, right?”
Wow. He really had.
“Wasn’t it?” she muttered.
Lance pulled a chair beside her hospital bed. “I’m not going to defend him. Honestly, I wanted to knock his teeth out the entire drive to the airport. But, Gayle, I was with him when he got your phone call. I was with him the entire drive down here. And I’ve been with him the last three hours. As much as I believe he is making a huge mistake, in the span of seven hours I watched that man go from terrified, thinking you were in that huge tornado, to relief knowing you were safe, to petrified and insane with worry wondering if you were dead or alive after the crash, to running out of a hospital with all the ghosts from his past tearing at his heels. I just think he needs some time. He’ll come to his senses.”
She was already shaking her head. “I can’t, Lance. Don’t think I’m cold, okay? I have my ghosts, too. Mac knows that. He knew what leaving would do to me. I’ll never trust he won’t run out on me again. I can’t spend my whole life worrying he will. I can’t. Even if he comes to his senses, we’re over.”
Chapter Fifteen