Mac inhaled a breath, trying to calm his fury. “How is she?”
“She looks worse than she is. She regained consciousness on the way to the hospital. She hit her head pretty hard, but the doctors don’t see any sign of a concussion. They’re keeping her for observation because of how long she was out, and giving her IV fluids for dehydration. She’s resting right now.”
“I’m going to go see her.”
Mac left the two men in the waiting room and found Room 350. He walked in and froze, horrified at the bruises and lacerations all over her beautiful face. An IV was taped below her collarbone, and a large bandage was wrapped around one arm.
The lifeless hazel eyes that had haunted his dreams for the last couple of weeks formed in his mind. He blinked, shaking his head. Instead of Gayle’s usual bright smiling face, he saw the battered and bruised woman lying so still in a hospital bed—because she chased destruction, because she took her safety out of his hands. He couldn’t trust, couldn’t hope, that she would come out of her chases unscathed. Not with Mother Nature. It was unpredictable. He was going to lose her, eventually. He knew it.
Lifeless hazel eyes flashed before him again. Panic became crushing, stole his ability to breathe. He stumbled backward.
He couldn’t do this.
He loved this woman so fucking much, but he couldn’t do this again. He would not lose another woman he loved to a tornado.
She’d survived the terror they’d gone through together, she’d survived this one, too…but how many chances did a person get to escape death?
This crash wouldn’t stop her. She’d be right back out there the moment she was able to. Leaving him to worry, terrified of seeing her like this again, about losing her forever. He just couldn’t.
He slowly backed out of the room, then spun and sprinted down the hall. As he passed the waiting area, Lance yelled after him, but he kept going—his only goal was to get the fuck away.
Once he had himself back in the truck, Lance slammed into the driver’s seat right after him. “What the hell are you doing?”
He shook his head. “I won’t go down this road again, Lance.”
“Give it a few days, Mac. If you leave right now, you’re going to regret this.”
“What I regret is coming back to Kansas. This place has never brought me anything but grief. Gayle knew I might not be able to hack it, we both knew this was possible. She won’t be surprised.”
Lance stared at him for a moment, then sighed. “All right. But this is on you, Mac. Not Gayle. That woman is perfect for you. And you’re letting fear of something you have no control over—that no one has any control over—ruin the future for you. Like I said, that is all on you.”
He breathed deep, the pain in his heart agonizing. There was only one thing he could do to keep it from being completely crushed. He had to allow it to tap out—surrender as he would in the cage when the only choice he had was between gracefully accepting defeat and leaving a broken man. He stared morosely out the window.
This opponent was bigger than him. Gayle deserved more than a man who’d only try to change her. Because now he didn’t think he could ever let her go out there again. He’d use guilt to make her stay, so he wouldn’t have nightmares of seeing her like this again, over and over.
And she’d grow to hate him for it.
Either way, their relationship was doomed to fail. Why put either of them through the agony? Better to leave now and accept defeat.
Gayle stared out the window of her hospital room. So far, she had been able to pretend she was asleep so she wouldn’t have to face Rick, but it had now been three hours since she’d opened her eyes just in time to see Mac flee the room. She could no longer pretend.
He’d left. Just as she’d known he would. She cursed the sting attacking the back of her eyes. She would not cry.
“Gayle?”
Damn it, this was exactly why she’d pretended to be asleep. She barely had control over her emotions. No way did she want to talk about this. Or anything.
But none of this was Rick’s fault. So she blinked, plastered on a fake smile, and turned to him.
“Hey,” he said.
God, puppy-dog eyes. Really? She was feeling bad enough as it was, she didn’t need everyone else feeling bad for her, too. “Don’t look at me like that. I told you he would leave, and he did. Big shocker.”
“So you know?”
“Opened my eyes in time to see the man jackrabbit out of here like the coward he is.” Bitterness crept into her words, giving them a biting edge. She pressed her lips together. At least she hadn’t called out to him and begged him to stay. She’d saved herself a sliver of dignity.
“He was really freaked the hell out, Gayle. When he passed the waiting room, there was no color whatsoever in his face. When Lance called after him, he didn’t even slow down.”