Chapter 9
Rebecca was seething.
She’d started to feel guilty about avoiding Brinley. After all, Brinley was still a young girl. Rebecca was eight years older than her and had children; she was a role model for her sister wife and should act like it.
But it had been too painful. She’d blamed Brinley for bringing her that letter, as if Brinley wanted the conflict in her heart to rise to this unbearable state. As if Brinley and Burt were somehow plotting to make this life harder for her.
Lehi Cluff disgusted her. The first time they’d consummated their marriage, she excused herself to the bathroom where she purged into the toilet from sheer repugnance. His breath reeked of day-old food, and she knew he wasn’t flossing.
Burt had always flossed. Every single day. She saw to that. Even when he stayed with one of the other sister wives, she had changed his habits. His teeth were impeccable for a man in the compound, and for that she was proud.
Lehi’s teeth were pathetic. He didn’t floss, and it was clear to Rebecca that he’d never used mouthwash either. His overall comportment in the bedroom was lazy and inconsiderate. It was clear to Rebecca that her comfort, her pleasure during their time together, was not anything Lehi worried about or cared for.
They were together to procreate. That was all.
And technically, that was how it was supposed to be. Perhaps Heavenly Father had removed her from Burt’s arms for a reason. Perhaps she was where she needed to be.
That was what Leandra said, anyway, that the prophet was always right and that Rebecca had been given a second chance with the Lord. A second chance to truly live the principle of plural marriage and to sacrifice her own worldly pleasures, as was expected of her. In the sewing room, Leandra had her almost convinced . . . convinced that the reassignment was a gift, a fresh start, a second chance to join Heavenly Father in heaven.
Because of that, Lehi was her salvation.
And Burt was her demise.
But her heart . . . her heart hadn’t caught up to her head. Her heart was angry at Burt for reaching out, for trying to convince her to turn her back against the Lord.
How could he do that?
Brinley had been kind to Rebecca when she first joined the Cluff household. She’d stroked Rebecca’s hair when she cried, she’d listened to Rebecca’s secrets and allowed her to vent her emotions. She was there for Rebecca in a way that no other wife had been, but perhaps there was a reason for that.
Perhaps Brinley was just as damned as Burt. Leandra seemed to think so.
“Something isn’t right with that one,” Leandra had said as she and Rebecca sewed curtains for the boys’ new room.
“Why do you say that?” Rebecca had asked, still clutching that soft spot in her heart for Brinley.
“I can’t put my finger on it. But trouble seems to follow her. And she’s drawn to the outside world, like a moth to a flame.”
Rebecca’s stomach had churned. If Leandra only knew about their interaction with Porter Hammond or the letter Burt had written, she’d be horrified, absolutely horrified. And Rebecca needed this friendship with Leandra. She was desperate for a new start and to cleanse Burt, and the past twelve years as his wife, from her mind.
“Just steer clear of her,” Leandra had insisted. “She’s a bad seed. I never wanted her in this family, but who am I to question the prophet?”
“I see,” Rebecca had murmured, shocked at this revelation. Brinley was sweet, immature, and kind. But a bad seed? That label had never occurred to her in the months she’d been a part of this family.
“So, I pray for her every day that she’ll mature and focus on what matters,” Leandra had said, ending the conversation. But Rebecca couldn’t forget those words.
She’s a bad seed.
That day, Rebecca had made a decision to distance herself from Brinley, at least until Brinley focused on what was important: her husband, their family, and her devotion to the Lord.
? ? ?
But that morning, when Brinley had stood in her doorway, her eyes forlorn, hoping Rebecca would join her on a walk to the pharmacy, Rebecca’s heart was tugged. She dismissed Brinley, but had second thoughts soon after Brinley left the house.
“Leandra, I’m going to supervise Brinley on her walk to the store. Just to keep her . . . focused.” She tilted her head to Leandra, who raised her eyebrows with comprehension and nodded with a grateful smile.
Quickly, Rebecca grabbed her purse from her bedroom, then hurried out the door. Rebecca was never a runner, and she always felt silly running in her dress, so she walked as quickly as she could to catch up to Brinley.
When she reached the guard at the compound, she avoided his glance, not wanting to be connected to anything having to do with that boy, Porter. Luckily, Samuel wasn’t looking her way; he was busy talking to another man, laughing at a joke.
When Rebecca rounded the corner, she gasped.
Brinley and Burt.
Talking.
On the street corner.
Burt’s back was to her, but she could see Brinley’s face . . . and she was crying.
Rebecca hid behind the wall of the compound, peeking around it, shocked at what she was observing. The anger she had pushed down for weeks built up once again, so much so that she struggled to compose herself, struggled just to breathe.
How dare Brinley speak to that man! How dare she continue to lure Rebecca away from the Cluff family and into a life of damnation! How dare she not respect Rebecca’s wishes to keep sweet and accept the assignment of the prophet! Had they planned this? Was this why Brinley had asked her to come into town? To trick her into being in Burt’s presence?
And then Rebecca had another thought. Perhaps Brinley wasn’t crying for her. Perhaps she was crying for herself. Perhaps she and Burt had forged a friendship, a relationship, a bond. A completely inappropriate and unholy bond. Perhaps Brinley was nothing but a bad seed as Leandra had said, seeking comfort from the one man in the compound she should be avoiding.
Those thoughts burned through Rebecca’s veins like venom.
Of course, she knew she had to let go of Burt and his love for her. She had to move on and embrace the love of Lehi and the plan the Lord had made for her on this earth.
But how could Brinley continue to speak to Burt? How could she meet up with him in broad daylight, against the wishes of the prophet and of the good Lord himself?
How.
Dare.
She.
So Rebecca seethed; her heart thumped wildly in her chest and her lungs expanded with every breath. Leandra was right. That Brinley was, indeed, the worst seed imaginable.
She took a breath from deep within her chest, turned, and walked with new purpose back to the Cluff household.