I guess that feeling was just the residual longing of a kid who didn’t understand why he had been born to go through so much hurt.”
“I’m so sorry, baby,” Aviva said, switching on the light beside their bed. “You don’t have any regrets do you?”
“Not even one, it was the right thing to do. Why are we still talking about that woman?”
“We’re not talking about her. We’re talking about you.”
“Meaning?”
Aviva smiled. “I mean that no matter how old we get, that small child we once were will always reside within us. You missed out on so many of the basic requirements every child needs.”
“Such as?”
“Yay! I got two words this time,” Aviva teased. When he raised an eyebrow at her, she continued with what she had to say, all signs of playfulness gone. “Such as feeling safe and loved.”
“I know I’m loved by you and the rest of my family. As for feeling safe, I know I’ve had some colossal fails, but that part of our lives is over.” Jason assured, concerned that she was speaking about the way she felt. “Do you feel safe, Angel?”
Aviva grimaced. “Well, one out of two is pretty good going I suppose,” she mumbled under her breath. Then she caught and held his gaze. “I wasn’t referring to me, but in answer to your question, yes I feel safe.”
“Good, I always want you to feel that way. I have everything I need and so much more. I’m thirty-five years old, Angel. The way I speak, how much I smile, and all those other things I know concern you; you need to forget them. This is pretty much it; I’m the finished product,” Jason told her. “Was that enough talking for you?”
“I love you exactly as you are, Jason. I wouldn’t change a thing,” she assured him.
“Glad to hear that you agree there’s no point in attempting to change perfection.” The sharp nudge in his side had Jason expelling air through his mouth as though he had just taken a hard body blow.
“On second thoughts, I’d like to do something about the size of your ego.”
“Maybe you can massage it, I’ve been told that helps.”
“I’ll give you bloody massage–”
Jason cut her off before her insult picked up steam. “Thanks, Angel, I was beginning to wonder when you were going to stop talking and start doing something inventive with those talented hands of yours.”
“How about this?” Aviva asked as she grabbed hold of his backside and squeezed.
“That’s good, but I can’t lie. That wasn’t what I had in mind.”
“No, how about this,” she asked as she began to knead his hard flesh, raking her nails along his thigh, moving towards his already hardening body.
“Heading in the right direction,” Jason sighed. “Just a little further... bingo!”
**********
Everyone else had retired for the night, and Jake and MacKenzie were the only ones left downstairs. He had been watching her closely and could tell she had something on her mind.
Before he could ask about her concerns, the sounds of a fussing baby could be heard on the monitor. MacKenzie spared him only a brief glance before she picked it up and left to tend to her daughter’s needs. With a sigh, Jake turned out all the lights and followed her up the stairs.
Passing by her door, he could hear the sounds of Noelle continuing to fuss. Pushing open the door, he invited himself in. “Is she okay?”
“I think so,” MacKenzie replied, patting her daughter on the back as she walked around the room to soothe her.
“May I,” Jake asked as he held out his hands to take the fretting baby.
Without hesitation, MacKenzie handed her over. That she trusted him with her child pleased him more than he could say. He wanted them to share a life together, and the nurturing of the baby was just another aspect of that.
Opening the balcony door, Jake stepped outside. It was a warm night, and the feel of the gentle breeze that flowed across his skin was refreshing. It also seemed to have the same effect on Noelle as she almost immediately settled down.
The feel of the baby nuzzling into his chest filled Jake with a feeling he didn’t immediately recognize. The more he analyzed the feeling, the more it solidified. Love, he loved the little girl he held in his arms. That she was content being held by him filled him with a form of pleasure, he had never encountered. This was the feeling a father experienced when he held his child in his arms.
With one arm holding her securely, his other hand rubbed her back. Resting his cheek against her soft hair, Jake pulled in a deep breath. Noelle smelled wonderful. It was the smell he now associated with innocent trust.
Completely lost in the moment, Jake whispered a promise to the small child. “The way you feel at this moment is the way you will feel every day for the rest of your life. No one will ever harm you while I draw breath. Every night when you go to sleep, you will do so knowing that you are surrounded only by people who love you.”
Turning around, Jake saw that MacKenzie was watching them with a curious look on her face.