The Unexpected List (The List Trilogy) - By Chrissy Anderson
Now (adverb) \ˈnau̇\:
At the present time or moment.
Listen
September 11, 2002
“What are you gonna get?”
“Thinking we share the usual- buffalo wings and some nachos. Sound good?”
“Duh! But this time make sure you tell them we want ranch dressing with the wings, none of that blue cheese crap!”
Some things never change. Kelly and I have been sharing the same two things at Chili’s for like a hundred years. I always give her a lot of shit for dragging me here, but I have to admit, there’s something really comforting about our usual table, the bottomless beverages and the never-ending trash talking about our former high school classmates/current servers.
“Look! Look! Look, Kel! Isn’t that the guy you went to homecoming with when we were sophomores?”
“Oy vey…would you look at him?” Shaking her head at the now thirty-two-year-old man-boy. “After all this time, still a waiter. Jesus, to think I let that guy touch my boobs in the back of his mom’s Toyota Celica.”
This is the way it’s always been with us. The greasy food, the ruthless revolting chitchat that makes Courtney and Nicole roll their eyes, it’s my very favorite part of the week. I’m secretly glad those two had to work late tonight so we can say whatever we want to without their smug looks and smarty-pants doctor jargon.
“Oh my gosh, Kel, I almost forgot to tell you! I had this horrible dream about you the other night. You had cancer. It was that one that sounds like a pancake or something.”
“It’s called a pancreas, you moron! It’s a good thing Court and Nic aren’t here; they would’ve made fun of you until you ran away in tears.”
“Yes, that’s it! You had pancreatic cancer! Man, it was brutal Kel. You got all skinny… and mean too! I wanted to help you and stuff, but you completely shut me out.”
“Sounds like something I’d do.”
“Didn’t work though, I sat on your front porch and wrote you a bunch of mushy letters telling you how much I loved you. You totally hated it.”
“No doubt. So did I die?”
I tilt my head and say, “Odd, I can’t remember now.”
Bored of my boring dream, Kelly looks at me over the rim of her Diet Coke and asks, “So, tell me what’s been going on with you? I mean, besides the obvious.”
I roll my hands down to my belly and give my bump a little rub.
“Is that husband of yours in town or are you alone again this weekend?”
“Alone again. He’s working his ass off to get that new division off the ground.”
It’s sorta the truth. He’s in Nevada taking a crash course to get his pilot’s license for I have absolutely no idea why. Seriously, where the hell does he plan on flying off to when this thing pops out?
“Let us know when you guys have a free weekend. Craig wants the gang to go camping one last time before the fall.”
Lovely. I hated camping enough when I didn’t have an extra twenty-five pounds to drag around. But, never one to ruin everyone’s fun, I enthusiastically nod my head like sleeping on rocks and peeing in the woods is the most super fantastic thing I can possibly think of doing at this stage of my life.
The food arrives, and after yelling at the idiot for bringing us blue cheese dressing, I proceed to tell Kelly the most hilarious story.
“So get this…I’m at a bar a couple of weeks ago-”
“A bar? But look at you! And, you can’t even drink!”
“I know, right? It was for my co-worker. She was having some sort of mini-meltdown and she begged me to sit with her while she drank her troubles away. I don’t know why, but I went.”
“And….so?”
“So she bailed on me the second we got there! Yep, ditched me for some little Korean guy. Oh man, he had the funniest name. What was it again? Ho-gab…Ho-dog…Ho-Bag! That’s it, Ho-Bag! Anyway, when they took off, I started talking to the Korean guy’s friend, and you’re never gonna believe this…HE HIT ON ME!”
“Was the dude blind?”
“Nah, the countertop on the bar was totally huge.” Rubbing my belly again, “This thing was comfortably tucked underneath. Anyway, we actually had a nice conversation. Don’t laugh...it was about ghosts.”
“Oh, brother…you and your ghost stories.”
“Actually he was the one who brought them up.”
“Whatever. So what happened with…what was the dude’s name?”
“Leo.”
Saying his name out loud sends chills up the back of my neck and rousing thoughts of that evening begin to flash through my mind. It causes me to pause long enough for Kelly to bug her eyes out at me to continue.
“Oh! We talked until my bladder was about to burst, that’s what happened.” My voice trails off, “Something about him was...I dunno…special.”
“Hoooold on! Back the story up, you bar hopping Barbie! Sounds like you’re leaving something out.”
I’m leaving a lot out. He was mysterious and sexy and totally into me. Our conversation was packed full of things we had in common and the way my heart pounded whenever he looked at me…
“Okay, okay…I left out the fact that he was only twenty-two!”
“Holy Hannah! You could almost go to jail for that!”
“Calm down! All we did was talk!” Looking from side to side and lowering my voice to a whisper, “Can I tell you a secret though?”
“I don’t even repeat the things you want me to repeat, so what do you think?”
“I kinda can’t stop thinking about him, Kel. He had these hypnotic eyes…”
“Wow, this isn’t like you. It’s freakin’ me out.”
“Freakin’ me out too.” And then my voice trails off. “I had so much in common with him. Almost more than anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Hellooooooo? What about your husband?”
Snapping back to reality, “Except for him, obviously!”
Wiping sauce from her lower lip, Kelly points to my stomach and says, “So when did he notice that thing?”
“When the bar was about to close I-”
“You stayed until closing time?”
“I’m telling you, his eyes were crazy beautiful! Anyway, he suggested we talk outside for a while. I was like, HELLS NO! But, I still didn’t have the guts to stand up and show him that he wasted his entire evening on me. This bar was crawling with chicks! And, trust me; this guy could’ve had his pick of the lot.”
“You chick-jacked him!”
I’m looking at Kelly like she’s an idiot.
“What? You get to say stuff like that and it’s cute. But when I do, it’s lame?”
“Well…kinda.”
“Oh, whatever! So, what the heck happened?”
“I peed my pants.”
“You’re kidding me, right?”
“Nope, peed all over the f*cking floor. You know how it is when you’re this far along.”
“Oh my God! Did he notice?”
“No. I pretended to spill my water and asked him to hurry and find some towels. When he was gone I made a run for it.”
After a laugh so intense that no sound emits from either of our bodies, I catch my breath and say, “I feel bad though.”
“About?”
“Bailing on him.” She’s looking at me like I’ve lost my mind. “I know, I know…I’m married and…” pointing at my gut, “I have this. But still, it seemed like he was relieved to meet me. Like I made him feel something he never felt before. Like I saved him. I dunno…I wish…”
“You wish what, Chrissy?”
Catching myself before I say something Kelly can’t even comprehend, “I wish that damn waiter would bring the bill. I gotta get home and catch up on my sleep while Kurt’s gone. It’s like the only time I can get a solid ten hours.”
Standing up to flag down the waiter, my pregnant belly bashes into the table, spilling our drinks everywhere.
The commotion jolts me out of my sleep and straight up in bed. My head darts all around to try and figure out what the hell is going on. My hands clutch my stomach and relief washes over me. Flat as a board.
“Thank you, Lord Jesus, who I’m still kinda struggling to believe in.”
I’m thankful only until I remember that Kelly’s dead and Leo’s long gone.