Whipping my head to my right, Mae was staring at me, her mouth parted in shock. Styx was glaring, eyes narrowed. My skin instantly set on fire, my cheeks blazing with embarrassment.
Stepping back, I headed toward the cabin, desperate to escape the attention. Mae rushed beside me. Just as I was about to gain the sanctuary of the house, I heard, “Maddie…” whispered in a guttural, sad voice.
I immediately halted. I glanced over my shoulder to see Flame standing a few steps before his brothers. He looked at me with such sorrowful eyes that I feared my heart would crack right down the center.
There was such longing in his expression, as though he was desperate for me to say something. Anything.
Forcing a smile, I tucked my hair behind my ear, and whispered, “Good night, Flame. I… I am happy you have returned.” In my head I added, “to me,” but that would never be said aloud.
Chapter Three
Flame
I watched her go until the door of the Prez’s cabin clicked shut. I didn’t move. I just stared at the wooden door, feeling a huge fucking pit in my stomach.
Lifting my hand, I looked down at my rigid fingers. They looked just like everyone else’s, but they didn’t work the same. Because other people could touch someone else. They could’ve put their hand on her face after she’d said thank you. They could’ve felt her skin. They could’ve maybe made her feel better.
But then the frustration filled my heart, and I thought, Your touch is poison. You’ll hurt her.
Bending my fingers, I curled them into a fist and heat boiled my blood. I hated it: I hated that I couldn’t touch her. I hated that when she looked up at me with those green eyes, I couldn’t fucking speak.
I didn’t know how to speak to her. I just knew I couldn’t. Because I was wrong in the head. Because I wasn’t like everyone else. Because people said I was a fucking freak. All my life they’d told me I was born wrong.
“Flame?” Turning my head, AK and Viking were stood beside Prez. Styx nudged his head at me. Vike then glanced to Styx and back at me. “Come here, brother.”
Glancing at the shut door one more time, I dropped my head and walked back to Prez. Styx watched me the whole way, my lips moving as I counted my steps under my breath. “One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…”
I reached Styx at eight. Nine, ten, eleven… On eleven I looked up. My head twitched under his hard glare. Curling my fingers into my palm, my nails dug into flesh, enjoying the sharp bite.
Styx shook his head and signed, “Don’t know what the fuck that was all about with Madds, not sure I want to.” He looked up to AK and Vike, but my eyes never left him. Turning back to me, he signed, “I get you have some fucked up obsession with her, that’s your friggin’ deal. But if, or when, you hurt her, you hurt Mae; and that shit ain’t gonna fly.”
My teeth ground so hard you could hear it out loud. Shaking my head, I hissed, “I’ll never hurt Maddie. Never.”
Styx didn’t say shit for a while, then nodded his head, backing up toward his cabin. My eyes followed him all the way, when he signed, “Glad to have you back, brother. Wasn’t the same with you gone. Life was pretty fucking tame.”
I relaxed my hands. Styx entered his cabin, leaving me stood with Vike and AK.
AK ran his hand down his face. “Let’s head home.”
But I didn’t want to leave. I needed to stand outside of Maddie’s window. I needed to keep her safe.
AK got in my line of sight. “Tomorrow, brother. Start your guard shit up again tomorrow. You’re dead on your feet right now. You need food and you need sleep. You’ve lost a lotta weight. You’ve got huge fucking black Glad bags under your tapped strung out eyes. You’re not fucking thinking straight.”