But I didn’t find it, and I never will. For the rest of my life, my only comfort will come from my beautiful Phoenix, as she wraps her wings around my body and holds me tightly.
I will live a life filled with regret. I can’t have any other. For some reason, after all I’ve done. I’ve been given a second chance. Phoenix was my angel. She saved me. But as a result, she lost her life.
That cost was too great, and it’s more than I can bear. I wish she had lived instead of me. I feel so undeserving of her sacrifice.
She was perfect. She was innocent. I hate that I’m here and she’s not. Because I can’t live anymore. I can exist. I can survive. But I can’t live, and I can’t feel – not in the way a man like Elliot would make me. I can’t get caught up in that again.
When I was young, I had dreams. Dreams about happily every afters and a life filled with love. Now, I have nightmares. My dreams are all long since dead and buried. People like me – we don’t get happily ever afters. We’re lucky enough just to be alive.