Eighteen
When Sam told Mike to go after Cara, he’d been so sure of his advice, Go big or go home. Mike had had a point to make: that he wasn’t leaving Serendipity or Cara, and most importantly, that he’d changed and wanted to put down roots. So Mike had purchased a house and an engagement ring and gotten his girl. Sam didn’t see his situation with Nicole the same way. He was here, he wasn’t going anywhere, and she’d shown him what it meant to fall in love. For Sam, it was simple. Except she didn’t believe he loved her, and he didn’t know what to do in order to convince her he meant what he said.
Frustrated and not in the mood to be alone in his house, wondering what Nicole was doing next door, he drove over to his parents’. He found his mom working outside on her hands and knees in one of the flower beds.
He parked in the driveway and joined her, kneeling down by her side. “Hi, Mom.”
“Sam! I’d hug you but my gloves are covered with dirt.” Her eyes, so similar to his, lit up as she met his gaze. “What are you doing here?”
“Can’t I just come to visit?”
“I suppose you could.” She eyed him warily. “If you didn’t have that lost-little-boy expression I remember from . . . the time we don’t discuss,” she said, her voice trailing off.
He shook his head, amazed at how stupidly stubborn he’d been about a woman and a time long past. “You can talk about Jenna,” he told his mother.
She stripped her gloves off her hands. “Help me up.”
Sam rose to his feet and helped his mother do the same.
“Let’s go sit.”
He followed her to the front steps and they sat down on the top one. It reminded him of when he and his siblings were in elementary school and they would all wait here for the bus to pick them up. His mother had always been there, day in and day out. He doubted Nicole could say the same.
“What’s on your mind?” his mother asked him.
He rested his hands between his legs and groaned. “I blew it with Nicole.”
His mother looked up at him. “It can’t be that bad. What did you do?”
“From the beginning, I told her I didn’t want a serious relationship and never would. So by the time I took my head out of my . . . you know . . . and told her I loved her, she didn’t believe me.”
Her eyes took on that sad, disappointed look he hated. “Oh, Sam.”
He looked up at his mother, feeling like a naughty child about to be scolded.
“I could kill that girl for what she did to you. Jenna should have ended things way before you two got to the altar.” Ella shook her head. “And afterward, I never could figure out how to make you see there was something wrong with her and not you.”
He lifted his gaze toward the afternoon sun. “You know, I wish I’d gotten over myself sooner, but there was no reason. No one who affected me enough to make me want to stop—”
“Feeling sorry for yourself?” his mother asked with a gentle laugh.
His face heated with embarrassment, but she was right. “I can’t change the past, but I want to convince Nicole for the future. But she wasn’t raised by warm, loving parents. She doesn’t have reasons to trust or believe what I say.” He shrugged. “And I took so long to come around, I don’t blame her.”
His mother pulled him into a quick hug. “Gone are the days when milk and cookies hold all the answers.”
Sam laughed. “I figured maybe you’d have some words of wisdom.”
“I’m thinking you might not need any,” she said as a white Mercedes pulled up to the curb.
Nicole’s white Mercedes. He knew she’d gotten the car back from the repair shop, having followed up without telling her.
At the sight, Sam’s breath caught in his throat.
“Something tells me she’s not here to see me.” Ella rose to her feet, and Sam did the same. “I’m going to make myself scarce,” his mother said.
Waving to Nicole as she climbed out of the car, Ella walked down the bluestone path to enter the house through the open garage. When she worked on her flowers, she used the mudroom entrance so she didn’t track dirt inside.
Hands in his shorts pockets, heart pounding, Sam walked to the driveway, waiting for Nicole near his car.
She strode up to him, wearing a white skirt and soft yellow tank. He itched to hold her, to take her in his arms and feel her soft curves against him and know all was right in his world again.
He didn’t know what she was doing here, and he didn’t want to spook her by pushing too fast. Her skin was pale from the hours spent inside working; her eyes were wary. He hated that look, never wanted her to feel unsure with him.
“Hi,” she said softly.
“Hi.”
She bit down on her lower lip, her uncertainty showing. “You’re a hard man to track down.”
“Not if you know where to look. And obviously you did.” He grinned, liking that she’d known how to locate him.
“Your house, the police station, Joe’s . . . this was my final stop.”
“Well, now that you found me, what can I do for you?”
She drew a deep breath, blowing it out again before beginning. “I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I realize I wasn’t fair to you. You stood by me, you told me you loved me, and I turned my back on you.” Her eyes were bright and glassy, self-recrimination obvious in her expression.
“Nic—”
She shook her head. “I need to say these things and you need to let me. Please.”
He nodded, hurting for her. “Go on.”
“You never gave me mixed signals. You weren’t ready for a relationship and I knew that. I was the one who changed the rules midway through. I realized I couldn’t have sex without getting emotionally involved with you. I . . . I fell in love. And even when I told you, I didn’t expect you to say it back. Of course I wished you had.” An embarrassed smile pulled at her lips.
He was dying to end this speech with a kiss, but she needed to have her say.
“And when you finally did, I pushed you away because I was so embarrassed by the things you heard my parents say. My father was bad enough, he was cold and aloof, but my mother? She belittled me and trashed me until all I could think about was, why would you want me after hearing all that?”
His fingers curled into tight fists as he fought with himself to give her the space she’d asked for to say her piece, but he lost the battle and stepped close, pulling her hard against him. “You don’t need to explain.”
She relaxed, her soft curves molding and curling against him until she was in his arms where she belonged.
“I need to finish this, okay?”
“Okay.” He loosened his hold and she eased back, looking up at him with bright shiny eyes.
“I told myself that since you had one foot out the door from the beginning, I should protect myself now, because it was only a matter of time until you were gone. I thought my mother’s words pushed you the rest of the way.” She pursed her lips at the memory.
He winced, knowing he’d given her cause to feel that way.
“I just . . . I was so devastated by my mother’s words that I couldn’t believe you loved me like you said you did. But you didn’t give up. You picked me up for my opening, and kept visiting. You sent my favorite flowers even when I didn’t let myself acknowledge what they meant. And then my father came to visit.”
Sam reared back at that. “If he hurt you again—”
She shook her head. “Just the opposite, in fact. He said he refused to help Tyler’s father out because of what he’d done to me. Sending the Russians after me.” She drew a deep breath. “And he told me I matter. And he said it because you stood up to him. You essentially told him he was a shitty parent, and in doing that, you told me that I matter to you.”
She sniffed, wiping at her damp eyes, and laughed at herself. “I’m a mess. But the point is, I should have believed in you way before I finally did.”
“Are you finished?” he asked. “Because I have something to say.”
She smiled, lighting him up inside. “Yeah, I’ll be quiet now.”
He grasped her hand in his. “You didn’t believe in me because I didn’t give you a reason before. But I swear to you, I’ll never give you cause to doubt me again.”
Nicole had learned a hard lesson, letting her parents and insecurities dictate her emotions. “I’ve been miserable without you. Even my grand opening lacked the luster it should have had.”
“I missed you too. But I’m so damned proud of what you accomplished.” He grinned, and all the remaining tension fled her body.
“I’m pretty proud too. I guess I had a minor glitch in my programming,” she said, embarrassed at how badly her parents had gotten to her. “I’m used to not getting much from them, but having the man I love witness it?” She shuddered.
“It’s over. And if they want to see you after this, they’re on their best behavior or they can stay home.”
She brushed her fingers over his cheek. “Because I have my very own cop . . . I mean detective to protect me.”
“You’re damned right.” Taking her off guard, he swept her up and into his arms, a place she hadn’t been in too long.
She squealed. “What are you doing?” She glanced around but they were still alone, nobody watching.
“Taking you home with me where you belong. We’ll take this year and enjoy, but afterward? We’ll reevaluate that lease on the house, because I’m not keeping separate places longer than I have to.”
She laughed. “I like that you’re doing long-term planning.”
“Baby, with you, I’m planning on forever.”
Her heartbeat thudded hard in her chest, his words giving her the comfort and security she’d always craved along with the bonus of love and passion thrown into the mix.
She just had one lingering question. “Sam? Are you sure your family will accept all of me? I mean, Victoria’s locked up for the foreseeable future, but someday . . .”
His eyes took on a determined glint. “She’s your twin. If she gets well and healthy and is released, she’s family. Somehow we’ll make it work.”
She closed her eyes, wondering what she’d done to deserve this special man. She sighed with happiness and nuzzled her cheek against his. “I missed this,” she whispered. “I missed you.”
“I love you, Nicole.” He shifted her, reaching into his pocket so he could grab his keys and unlock his truck. “And now I’m taking you home to show you how much. We’ll get your car later.”
She laughed as he walked around to the passenger side so she could get in. “I like how you think, Detective. You’re perfect for me.”
“We’re perfect,” he said with a grin. “Perfect together.” He grinned and slid his lips over hers in a kiss that teased her with things to come.
A long, happy future of many, many wonderful things.