“Oh-kay,” I drawl out.
I wait for him to say more… to ask how I’m feeling, to ask about the funeral, to ask to make sure I’m really, really okay. I kind of sort of wait for a hug. Cocking my head to the side, I wait for it.
And wait for it.
Finally, Matt looks left and right down the hall and, confident no one is nearby, he leans in a little further and lowers his voice. “Can I see you tonight?”
“Yes,” I say quickly, relieved that he does indeed want to be with me. I was starting to think his cool demeanor might have meant our time was at an end… yet again, and I just wasn’t ready for that.
“What do you want me to bring to eat?” he asks with a smile.
“Surprise me,” I tell him.
He gives me a nod, and then he’s gone. I stare at the empty doorway for a few moments, trying to determine if I should be worried or not by his behavior. I mean… it’s typical Matt behavior. Slightly cool, a little aloof, but still interested in hot orgasms with me. Nothing odd there.
Except, I think maybe I expected him to be a little warmer to me. He had, after all, stood by my side while my mother died, letting me cry in his arms. He held me in his arms all night. Yes, all night. I woke up with him holding me, his laptop in the same exact position he had left it before pulling me into his embrace.
Regardless, I shake the thoughts, content for now in knowing that I would be with him tonight, and I could gauge things then.
Booting up my computer, I start wading through what seems like a gazillion messages. I see the email from Matt telling me about the new case he assigned to me… a slip and fall at a grocery store. I have to smile at it. He said, “This is a crap case and you’re going to lose it, but it’s perfect to cut your teeth on.”
There’s an email from Cal wanting to know how I was doing and asking to get together for lunch soon. I smile because I was in turmoil about Cal before, knowing that he was interested in me, but I wasn’t interested in him. Now that he knows I have feelings for Matt, he truly seems to want to be friends and that is something you can never have enough of. I shoot him a reply stating that I was free any time this week. He responded back immediately, and we made plans for Friday.
The rest of the day goes by quickly, because I have a ton of stuff to do but not enough hours in the day. It’s almost seven PM, and I need to get home.
No, I want to get home… so I can see Matt.
Nothing has changed between Matt and me since I returned from Nashville.
Every night this week, he’s shown up like clockwork and proceeded to wring the most exquisite pleasure out of my body. I returned the favor to him, time and again.
No, nothing has changed in that regard. We are still combustible. We are still insatiable. There is a driving need for him to be inside of me, and there is a raging desire for me to let him get there.
I tried to get him to open up to me. That first night after I returned, I waited until we had collapsed on my bed. Both of us rolled onto our backs and gasped for air as we stared at the ceiling. When our pulses started to decline, I rolled on my side to face him and said, “I wanted to thank you again for coming to Nashville. That really meant a lot to me.”
Matt slowly turned his head to look at me, his face impassive. He gave me a dim smile and said, “It was no biggie.”
No biggie? The man dropped everything and flew to be by my side while my mom died. How can that be nothing?
So I tried again, “It was a big deal, Matt. It changes things… don’t you think?”