There’s silence, and for so long that after a while I crack my lids to be sure I’m not here alone.
Both my parents’ mouths are suspended. I didn’t mean to be so abrupt, but that’s how I learned the news myself. I still can’t believe how the revelation came to me last night. It could possibly be due to my slight obsessiveness when it comes to sex with Stenton. It just felt different. Sex without a condom was not his thing and I never understood his adamancy of it. And over the years, each time Jordan’s unexpected conception came up, he’d speak so remorsefully. I’d always questioned the weight of his onus. I’ve never forgotten our time in The Caymans, never been able to shake his sudden turnabout in moods and reception of me. It just all made sense. And as the words poured from my mouth last night, I wasn’t completely sure until Stenton’s reactions to them. I still can’t believe it.
“Say what?” my dad drags out slowly.
“He did it on purpose. It wasn’t me being stupid and inexperienced—well, not exactly. But now I know it was mostly him taking advantage of me…” My cry tries to escape again. I honestly thought I had no more left. I released so many last night into this morning.
There is still silence. I’m panting, becoming very emotional because I don’t know how to feel. I can’t believe I’m sharing this with my parents, but I refuse to hide his offenses. My parents were affected by my unexpected pregnancy. It wasn’t just my burden alone. He’s changed the course of their lives, too. They became grandparents prematurely.
“Did he tell you this?” my mother asked then covered her lips.
“Just after his vomiting episode in the back steps, yes.”
My mother stands and takes me into her warm and soft arms. I’m feeling like a child who needs protection…from Stenton of all people.
“I’m sorry, baby. I know this is harsh news for you. I hope you and Stenton can one day sort it out.”
“I’m not sorting out anything with Stenton but him staying away from me.”
“That’s not possible. You two have a kid together,” my dad chimes in.
“A child that is no longer a baby. We’ve done a good job at parenting Jordan without being in each other’s lives so far. This can only get easier, Daddy.”
“Okay, and if that works, what else? There’s no way you can erase him from your life,” my mother speaks gently.
Shaking my head, I share, “Move on. I’m moving on with my engagement to Bernard. We’re getting married.” My mother gasps, and my father narrows his brows. “I need to switch chapters in my life.”
“Now, you just hold on one minute! That’s not an appropriate response, Elizabeth. Marrying just any man won’t erase what Stenton did. And certainly marrying Bernard won’t guarantee a carefree life.”
Huhn?
“Why are you dissing Bernard? Since when have you been a fan of Stenton outside of basketball?” I charge back.
“Elizabeth…” my mother admonishes.
“I may not have opened my arms for Stenton over the years, and what father would, considering the man deflowered my daughter and impregnated her under my nose, especially a man with a big name like that.”
“So, what’s your argument, Daddy? Do you like Bernard or not?”
“Bernard’s an okay guy who I’ve known since he was a kid. When it comes to you, I’ve tolerated him over the years. Stenton, on the other hand, has earned my respect. He’s been around, taking care of that child and you as he said he would. Every man makes mistakes, and if what you’re saying is true, I’m disgusted, but only a real man stands by his word and takes care of his family. Stenton has done that and more.” After issuing me a long parting and piercing gaze, my father marches into the house.
The first of a new round of tears fell.
“This is hard on him as a father. He doesn’t want you to know that he’s never felt he stood up to Stenton when he told us you were pregnant. He feels guilty about that for some reason.”