Hollow (Perfect Little Pieces)

Epilogue



Six Months Later



I hugged my duffle bag to my chest as I walked down the halls of Newton Heights Psychiatric Hospital for the last time. Iris walked next to me, still wearing those worn bunny slippers she had when I first met her. I wondered what would happen to her now that I was leaving. In fact, I worried about all of the patients I’d be leaving behind. I knew that their journey to healing wasn’t my responsibility, however. Each one of them had to forge their own path back into society on their own. No one could do it for them. Not even me.

The reception desk came into view, and my steps slowed as the grinning faces of the other patients shook my hand.

“Say ‘hi’ to him for me,” Flynn said as he grabbed my fingers in an iron-like grip. “Tell that knucklehead not to be a stranger, okay?” He stepped back and shoved his hands in his jeans. “You don’t be a stranger, either.”

I smiled and realized that my affection for him was genuine. Not only did Flynn help Jayden with his own recovery, but he helped me. I just hoped that, someday, Flynn would be able to overcome his own demons and find happiness.

“Of course we won’t be strangers.” I tapped him playfully on the biceps. “Besides, if you ever want to get a message to us, you can just talk to Mia.”

“Yeah, well…” He ran his hand over the back of his neck and took a step back. “I don’t think she likes me very much. I wasn’t exactly easy on her during her training. She hasn’t exactly forgiven me for it.”

“Of course she’s forgiven you. Don’t be silly” It would take a lot for Mia to not like someone. It just wasn’t in her nature. Besides, I had seen how she checked out Flynn’s ass when she thought no one was looking. “You’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Thanks.” He glanced over at Iris, then at the Elias at the front desk. I knew that he didn’t quite believe me.

“Hey.” I rubbed my hand on his arm. “We won’t let you waste away in here. I promise.”

He lowered his hand. “Bye, Lucy. Iris.” He pressed his lips together in a thin line and turned his back, but not before I saw the tears in his eyes. There was something going on that I wasn’t aware of, I was sure of it. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could do to help him. Flynn had to figure things out on his own. We all did.

I moved forward, shaking hands and saying my goodbyes to the rest of the patients until I stopped, stunned at the front desk.

“Nesto.”

He shifted his stance and looked down at his feet. “Yeah, they let me come back this morning.” He knocked on his temple. “Hard head and all that.”

Nesto was in and out of Confinement more often than anyone else in the ward. How the man coped with spending so much time locked up and alone was beyond me. I couldn’t help but grin as I walked over and gave him a big hug. “I’m so happy for you.”

He stiffened at the close contact and then slowly put his arms around me. His grip was light and unsure, but I didn’t care.

Tears stung my eyes as I leaned back and met his gaze. “Promise me that you’ll stay out of Confinement for good this time.”

He smirked. “You know me. I don’t make promises.” He shifted his gaze over my shoulder at Iris. “But I’ll try.”

“That’s all I ask.”

I turned away from Nesto to face Elias and took his outstretched hand.

“It’s good to see you well again, Ms. White.”

“Lucy,” I corrected him. “After all we’ve been through together. You can call me Lucy.”

He grinned and nodded. “Lucy.”

It suddenly struck me how young Elias looked. For some reason, I had always associated him with Dr. Polanski and therefore thought of him as at least a decade older than me. His grin lightened his features. He looked less troubled, less stressed. In the bright hospital lighting, I realized that he was much closer to my own age, barely an adult himself.

“You and Jayden are the first patients I was able to see walk out of this place,” he said. “Don’t take this the wrong way or anything, but don’t come back.”

I laughed and gave him a hug. “I won’t. I promise. At least, not as a patient.”

“Good.” He patted my back and stepped to the side. I turned to Iris. “Well, I guess this is it, then.”

She nodded. The movement caused her hair to fall in front of her face. “This is it.”

I moved over to give her a hug. She had been working on touching others for months and the fact that she now let me hug her was a huge breakthrough. It showed just how close we had become, and how much she trusted me.

“Stay safe,” I whispered in her ear.

She squeezed my shoulders with surprising tightness and nodded. When she moved away, I noticed tears in her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand.

“I’ll visit, I promise,” I said.

Iris pressed her lips together in a half-smile and glanced over my shoulder. Then she shrunk back, as if stung.

“I have to go. Take care.” She hurried down the hall before I could respond.

I turned and saw Nesto leaning against the front desk, staring openly at her retreating form. I slapped him on the arm. “Don’t scare the other patients.”

He jerked back and blinked at me. “I wasn’t staring.”

“Sure.” I smiled and turned back to Iris, but she had disappeared into the crowd. Why did she keep disappearing like that? Where did she go? What did she do? I didn’t know. Part of me wanted to help her, but I knew that she was beyond my abilities. She was in the best place possible for her recovery. It was out of my hands.

I grabbed my duffle and gave my new friends one last wave. Squaring my shoulders, I walked through the doors of Newton Heights Psychiatric Hospital a free woman.

Dr. Polanski was the first to greet me in a huge hug. “I knew you could do it.”

I hugged her tightly and closed my eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered.

She sniffed and stepped back. “Take care of yourself.”

“You, too.”

She moved away, revealing a shiny new mustang convertible. Mia stood by the passenger’s side door, grinning from ear to ear. I laughed as she ran up and gave me a bear hug. “Don’t get too excited–it’s only a rental. But we’d thought you’d want to ride away from this depressing place in style.”

I let out a bark of laughter and squeezed her shoulders. “It’s perfect.”

Mia pressed her lips to my temple and stood back. “I’m so happy for you.”

“I’m happy for you, too,” I said and realized I meant it. “I’m sorry I was such a pill these past couple of months.” Our relationship had been rocky for a while, but it was getting better. Someday, I hoped that we could be best friends once more.

Mia shook her head, her long, blonde hair shaking around her shoulders. “No, you could never be a pill.” She turned toward the door to the hospital. “I have to start my shift, but we’ll meet up for dinner, okay? I want to hear everything about your first day of freedom.”

“You got it.”

Mia moved away, and I turned back to the car. It was then that I saw him.

Jayden was leaning against the Mustang, sunglasses on and arms crossed over his chest. Sunlight cast down on his sandy locks, highlighting the golden highlights. He smiled at me and my heart skipped a beat. Damn, he looked sexy as hell.

I walked slowly forward, savoring both him and the moment with each step. When I closed the distance between us, I fell into his arms. “I thought this day would never come.”

“Me neither,” he whispered as he buried his face in my hair. “How are you feeling?”

“Good.” I leaned back and met his gaze. “Better, now that you’re here.” And I was. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel the hollowness inside my chest. Instead I felt peace and acceptance. Part of me was actually hopeful about the future.

I’d always be thankful to Jayden for that. He had shown me what it was like to live. He had given me that spark for life, cultivated it, but in the end knew that if I was ever to make it on my own, I had to find that love of life within myself.

His leaving was hard on both of us, but necessary. The time apart allowed me to focus on my own recovery. Knowing what was waiting for me outside of the hospital gave me the determination to see the painful process through.

It would never be over. Jayden and I would always have the ghosts of our pasts to deal with, but at least we didn’t have to deal with them alone. Not anymore.

He leaned over and brushed his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and pressed my body closer to his, eager for his warmth.

“Come on, let’s get out of here,” he said as he pulled away. He opened up the passenger side door to the Mustang and stood to one side.

I climbed in, thoroughly enjoying the feel of the soft leather seats. He closed the door and walked around to the driver’s side door.

“So beautiful, where do you want to go?” He asked as he got in and turned on the ignition. The engine roared to life, causing me to smile.

I ran my fingers of the smooth seat and glanced over at his grinning face. “Anywhere there’s ice cream,” I said, remembering our adventure to the hospital cafeteria. “I’d do anything for a decent ice cream cone.”

He slid his sunglasses to the top of his head and raised his brows. “Anything?”

I laughed, one of those full-body laughs that started in my belly and spread through my limbs. It felt good, real good. “You bet—anything.”

“Well then, we better get the girl some ice cream, stat.” He pulled the car into gear and turned out of the hospital parking lot. The wind picked up as he accelerated, catching my hair and fanning it out at all angles from my head. I felt wonderful, as if a thousand different colors were rushing through my veins. It was exhilarating.

I grabbed Jayden’s hand and grinned. Life was good, real good. I knew that the hollowness of depression would always be there, waiting for me to show a sign of weakness so it could take control. Today, the hollow feeling in my chest was gone, however. I had the darkness beat.

Jayden raised our joined hands and whooped as we raced away from the hospital. My voice soon joined his, shouting my victory over death and despair.

For the first time in a long time, it felt damn good to be alive.



~~The End~~