CHAPTER SIX
I woke up abruptly, disoriented until I recognized the hand-painted gold butterflies on the ceiling. Blake lay on his stomach next to me, snoring quietly into the pillow, his body soft and relaxed, a different picture from the muscle bound animal who had quite recently blown my mind. I must have dozed off while he showered, but he hadn’t bothered to wake me and send me on my way.
Still, I couldn’t be here when he woke up. I was completely blissed out, but the idea of facing the walk of shame in the daylight hours sobered me into action.
Ambient light filled the room but the desert sky before us was pitch black, save the frenetic city lights, with no hint of the impending dawn. I slid quietly out of the bed and dressed, though despite my best efforts, I could not find my panties anywhere. I put on my heels and stopped at the writing desk. I scribbled a note, setting the $10,000 chip on top of it.
What happens in Vegas...
x, E
I took in the skyline a minute longer, then left Blake’s suite without a sound.
* * *
I crept into our hotel room with impressive stealth, but Alli was propped up on a pillow watching TV when I entered.
“Hey, what are you doing up?” It was nearly two a.m.
“What are you doing up?” She pursed her lips.
“Uh, nothing.”
“You little slut. Tell me everything.” She muted the TV and sat up cross-legged on the edge of the bed.
“Not much to tell.” I shrugged and slipped out of my dress in favor of a robe.
“Don’t even start with me, Erica. Dish, now.” She pointed her manicured little finger at me.
I sighed and sat on the edge of the bed facing her. This morning I had berated her for the same thing. What a hypocrite.
“I’ll just say, if Heath is anything like his brother, um, in bed”—I stumbled over the words—“I forgive you, all right?”
“Shut up! Was it amazing?”
“There are no words. Now I just have to figure out how to stay the hell away from him.”
“Why? What do you mean?” A frown marred her brow at the mere suggestion.
“We had our moment, but I’m really hoping this is once and done for him, because...” I let my face fall into my hands, which still smelled like him. I breathed in his scent and let the memory of our night settle over me.
“Erica, what?”
I sat up abruptly, as if I’d been caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to.
“You were telling me why you want this to stay a one-night-stand,” she reminded me.
“I don’t know!” I twisted my fingers in my lap. “I just know I could get addicted to that. To him.” I gestured to the ceiling, his general direction. I shook off the memories that felt too new, knowing Blake was still perfectly naked, slumbering a few floors away. “I’m a mess. I need to sleep.”
Alli nodded, but I caught a coy smile before she switched off the TV and turned over under her duvet.
Grateful for the reprieve, I retreated to the bathroom to shower. The intoxication of being with Blake tapered as the water thrummed my already weak muscles, draining the last of my waning energy. Already he meant too much A cloud of doubt crept over me.
* * *
I stepped out of the campus center with my mail when I heard my name. A girl with cropped blond hair ascended the steps to meet me. She looked like a teen model. Tan, tall, and impeccably dressed in a tank top and a linen skirt.
“Liz,” I said. “How are you?”
“Great. I can’t believe we’re finally done!”
“I know, time flies.” I shook my head in shared disbelief.
“Do you want to grab coffee? I’d love to catch up.”
Her warm brown eyes seemed genuine, but I had always avoided these moments. Our friendship had fizzled when I moved across campus after our freshman year together, and we had never really addressed it. I hesitated. School was over, no homework, no plans. I had no excuses.
“Sure.”
We walked a short distance to the closest cafe where some moody hipsters made us delicious overpriced cappuccinos. We sat at a table for two, the chaos of the cafe filling the silence between us. I’d seen Liz around campus here and again, but we hadn’t really talked in years. What was there to say? We barely knew each other anymore.
“Do you have any plans for the summer?” I asked.
“I’m going to Barcelona with my parents for a few weeks, and then I start work in July.”
“Where are you working?”
“At an investment firm here in the city, crunching numbers or whatever.” She blew steam off her cup. “What about you?”
“I actually started a fashion social network last summer and it’s been going pretty well, so I’m going to be running that for a while. We’ll see where it goes.”
“That’s amazing. I would have never expected that.”
I raised my eyebrows. What would you expect, I wondered, picking at the flaky crust of my chocolate croissant.
“How are Lauren and everyone else at the house?” I asked, referring to the girls who’d shared a floor with us.
“Really good.” She paused before continuing, “We’ve missed you though.”
I took a long sip of my cappuccino, sensing where the conversation was heading. College was over, and a new chapter was beginning. Maybe it was finally time to clear the air, especially if I might be running into her in the city now. Boston was still small enough for chance meetings.
“I’m sorry I didn’t give you a heads up about moving out at the end of the year. I was going through a lot at the time.” That was an understatement, but I didn’t really want to get into it with her right now. The last thing I needed was to dredge up painful memories.
“I realize that. I just thought we were friends, you know?”
“We were,” I said. “We still can be. I just needed a fresh start after everything that happened.”
She nodded and gave me a weak smile.
I sighed, resigned to the fact that I wouldn’t be getting around this topic no matter how hard I dodged it. “Nothing was the same after that night. You and everyone else were the same, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t go out partying with all of you like nothing happened.” I took a breath, trying to push the memories back down. “It had nothing to do with our friendship, or you. I just couldn’t stand that look on everyone’s faces.”
When I looked up at her, the pity in her eyes made me sick to my stomach. I pushed my plate away and reached for my purse.
“I wanted to talk with you about it, but you never really gave me a chance,” she said.
“Believe it or not, I don’t really like talking about it,” I snapped.
Her eyes were bright and innocent, reminding me of the many nights we’d spent foraging her parents’ gift boxes of junk food, sharing stories and dreams in our freshman na?veté.
I relaxed in my chair. “I needed to work things out on my own, and for whatever reason, I couldn’t do that at the house.”
“I understand.”
She didn’t, but I gave her credit for trying, even though she was dragging me through memories I’d long buried.
“Maybe we can get together when I get back from Spain and catch up a bit,” she said. “We don’t have to talk about that stuff, obviously. I know it’s upsetting for you.”
I nodded. I couldn’t change the past, but maybe we could salvage some of what was lost.
“Sure.” I forced a smile. “Let’s stay in touch.”
We talked about professors and housing in the city while Liz finished her muffin. Afterwards we exchanged numbers and said our goodbyes. As I turned toward the campus again, my phone dinged with a text. It was Alli.
Need to talk. I have news.
My stomach sank. I called her.
“What’s up?”
“I have news.”
“So you said. What is it?”
“I got the job.”
“F*ck.” I blurted it out. I couldn’t help it.
“Erica?”
“What do you want me to say?” I tapped my foot while people passed me on the street. Seeing Liz had put me over the edge, and now I was losing my best friend, roommate, and business partner. I refused to count this as a high point in my day. “Congratulations. I know you wanted this. Unfortunately I didn’t.”
Alli was silent on the phone for a few seconds. “We talked about this, and now you seem surprised.”
She was right, but it didn’t offset the sting. Things were in motion now, just shy of Max’s potential decision to fund us.
“When do you leave?”
“In a few days. I can crash with a friend in the city until I get a place.”
My phone started buzzing with another call. I didn’t recognize the number but needed an excuse to get out of this conversation before I said something I didn’t mean. “Someone’s calling me, Alli. I gotta go.”
I clicked over to the other line.
“Hello?
“Erica, it’s Blake.”
F*cking f*ck. “This isn’t a great time.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I sounded anything but fine.
“Where are you? I’m in the neighborhood.”
I glanced around for the nearest recognizable landmark. “Near Campbell Square.”
“I’ll pick you up in five minutes.” He ended the call before I could argue.
I sat on a park bench, idly checking email on my phone to distract me from the bomb Alli had dropped on me. In one, Sid reported a decent influx of new users since the conference, which was welcome news since I had wondered if the entire effort had amounted to an expensive 3,000-mile booty call for Blake. My thoughts drifted back to Alli and Liz and how utterly alone I had become in the past hour.
A car horn broke my thoughts. Blake sat in the driver’s seat of a sleek black sports car waiting at the curb. I approached and was momentarily confused by the lack of door handles until one glided out of its hidden pocket in the passenger door. Strange. I got in, instantly mesmerized by the enormous LCD screen situated between the driver and passenger seats.
“What the hell is this?” I asked, instantly overwhelmed by all the gadgets and gizmos.
“It’s a Tesla.”
“Okay.” I stared out to the road ahead, waiting for the car to move.
“Hey,” he said softly, brushing his thumb against my cheek.
He looked fresh and cute, but his smile soon faded. My throat tightened as if I could cry again. I swallowed against the sensation, my body stiffening in an act of self-defense.
“I’m fine, seriously.” I turned my face away and wiped away any errant mascara that might clue him in to my recent meltdown. I didn’t know if I could bear being any more vulnerable to this man than I already was and still maintain a shred of professional integrity. “What do you want?” I asked.
“Are you hungry?”
“Sure.” I wasn’t, but I wanted to be anywhere but here. I let Blake take us away in what I now recalled was an extremely expensive high-tech car whose stock had just skyrocketed.
“How much Tesla stock do you own?”
“I got in on the second round of funding, so quite a bit.”
“Of course you did,” I mumbled.
Blake made his way into the city in record time and with little regard for pedestrians and traffic laws, but somehow I still felt safe and relieved to have the campus in the rearview. We rode the rest of the way in silence until Blake pulled into a reserved parking space across from the clock tower.
* * *
The Black Rose was an Irish pub in the heart of Boston, a few steps away from the famous Faneuil Hall and Quincy Market. Inside, a dark wood bar lined one end of the restaurant and coats of arms from the motherland covered the walls. Blake and I settled into a quiet corner of the restaurant where we could watch the people outside going about their day, including tourists, bankers, and men driving horse-drawn carriages.
The cute young waitress was cheery and asked for our order with an Irish lilt that made me think of my favorite professor who was also leaving in a few short weeks.
“Two Irish breakfasts and two Guinnesses,” Blake said, handing her our menus and promptly returning his attention back to me.
“Do you always order for other people?”
“I didn’t want you to battle with yourself over ordering a pint so early in the day.”
He leaned in, showcasing his biceps that were peeking out of the sleeves his T-shirt that featured the Initech logo from Office Space. He had no business looking so unprofessional on a workday.
“Tell me why you were crying.”
I shook my head, emotionally drained and unprepared to be with Blake at this moment in time. “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
I started to get up, but Blake took my hand.
“Hey, I’m sorry.”
I paused, wanting desperately to be falling apart somewhere where Blake wasn’t in the audience.
“Stay,” he said.
My anger melted away. I sat back down, letting my hand stay in his. His touch had a calming effect that I both resented and cherished.
“Why did you want to see me, Blake?”
“Well, for one, you didn’t give me a chance to say goodbye. Do you always run off like that?”
“I didn’t think you’d care,” I said, embarrassed about the whole affair, even though I’d thought of almost nothing else since I left his suite two days ago. “Anyway, I had an early flight home.”
“Have you heard from Max?”
I took a deep breath, relieved to be talking business again. “Yes, we’re meeting next week.”
“How’s the housing hunt going?”
I rolled my eyes and groaned. “Now that Alli is officially moving to New York, I suppose it just got simpler.”
“That doesn’t sound like good news.”
“Yeah, I’ll have to start dressing myself again, which will be tough,” I joked.
I wasn’t lying, but obviously her fashion sense wouldn’t be the only thing I’d miss. Alli was my best friend, my confidante, my wing-woman. I still couldn’t believe my roomy wouldn’t be my roomy anymore. We’d only be an hour’s flight away, but I held onto an irrational fear that our lives would begin moving in different directions that would eventually take their toll on the friendship we’d worked so hard to build. Only time would tell.
“I have a good broker.” Blake fished a business card out of his wallet and handed it to me. Fiona Landon, Licensed Real Estate Broker.
“If she’s related to you, I doubt she’d have anything in my price range.”
“She’s my little sister, and you never know. She’s known for digging up good finds. Just tell her I sent you.”
I sighed. “I told you about my situation to make conversation. It wasn’t a cry for help. I’m perfectly capable of figuring this out on my own.”
“I know you are,” he said quietly, rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles.
I pulled away from his grasp. Physical contact with Blake seriously affected my decision-making.
“Give her a call,” he urged.
I stuffed the card into my purse, knowing I would for the simple reason that Blake wanted me to and he wouldn’t let it go until I did.
The waitress brought our breakfast, which was delicious and fattening, two requirements for comfort food that I thoroughly appreciated at the moment. Washing it down with a few sips of Guinness wasn’t too bad either. When I wasn’t in emotional turmoil and when Blake wasn’t throwing me headfirst into a professional roller coaster, I did enjoy his company. We chatted about sports, one topic any two Bostonians could agree on. Little by little, he coaxed me out of my grim mood.
Outside the sun warmed the cobblestone streets as we walked back to the car. After all these years, Boston still dazzled me. The streets had history and its people had a kind of character that always made it feel like home. It was impossible to live here and not feel a passion and possessiveness about it.
On the way home, Blake’s phone rang. A casual photo of a beautiful brunette showed up on the LCD panel next to the name Sophia. He ignored the call and stared straight ahead at the road, showing no emotion. I had no right to ask who she was. We were hardly in a relationship, and the idea that someone as rich and gorgeous as Blake wouldn’t be playing the field was pretty unrealistic. Still, the thought of other women in his life stung me.
We pulled up to the house, and Blake circled the car to let me out before I could figure out the handles. We walked the steps up to the entrance. When I paused to say goodbye, Blake pulled me close. The breath rushed out of me.
“You owe me a goodnight kiss, Miss Hathaway.”
Before I could respond, he covered my mouth with his own. I melted into the kiss and the warmth of his body. Mercy, his lips. The stress of the morning became a distant memory, replaced with a hunger that neither of us was in a position to satisfy at the moment.
“Come home with me.” His voice was raw.
Somewhere in the distance, my inner voice started psychoanalyzing everything, pulling me out of the moment.
“I can’t.”
Technically, I could. In fact, I wanted nothing more than a repeat of my night in Blake’s Vegas pad, but I had no idea what that meant for my mental stability. I needed to focus on work. Getting screwed to oblivion by Blake on a regular basis probably wasn’t going to help me in that department.
“Dinner, then.”
“No,” I insisted. “Besides, you were hardly the perfect gentlemen last time.”
“Wasn’t I? As I recall, you were the one who asked for the tour of the bedrooms.”
He ground his hip into me, eliciting a whimper. I tried to care that we were in plain view of anyone passing by, but I worried more that I was slipping further away from myself and deeper into a dangerous attraction that already had its hooks in me.
“Blake, seriously, Vegas was...really great.” I paused, desperately trying to pull myself together. “I’m just not in a good place for this—whatever this is with us.”
I kissed him gently, breathing him in one last time before slipping from his grasp. He released me, but by the wanting in his eyes, I could tell he wasn’t happy about it.
“Goodbye, Blake.”